Ep 15: Going Bareback With Doctors Who Squirt (Part I)

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Fed up with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now we We do what we love. Work, party, and play at the Desire resorts. After 16 years in the lifestyle, we thought we saw it all. We were so wrong.

So wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day. So come to room 77.

Let's play. Hey doctor. Yes, Richard Lauren, what's going on? Well, we have a bunch of questions about vaginas, and we're kind of freaking out.

Don't freak out. Start from the beginning. Go ahead. We walked into RM on a Tuesday and the hotel was empty.

Just out of random luck. People were checking in, checking out. We go to the pool and anybody who's been there knows that, you know, it's just packed, especially by the time we get there, it's like 12 o'clock. It's packed.

You can't get anywhere and it's just empty. Sun, beautiful. It was the closest desire will look during a zombie apocalypse. That's this is how my brain works.

Something's not right. Is it a zombie apocalypse? And then I can move on to the next choice. You know who's gonna be the first zombie?

Who? Cece from Cece's bar. Yeah, she'll be the first to turn. She's right there on the water.

I don't know how that makes sense. Don't they come in from, can't go anywhere. They're not fish. They're zombies.

Like they don't come in from the water. I think you're thinking of a genre that hasn't been invented yet, but listen. You know, I'm gonna write that you should write something down, get a little script together, so maybe you remember we were off for two weeks and Congress put us back to work. Our furlough was over, so we went back to work.

I mean, it was a rough start on Tuesday. Felt like I forgot the meditations. I forgot everything. That's how smart I am.

2 weeks, I forget everything, everything. I had no idea what I was doing. I was flop sweating during the intro, had no idea what I was saying, and then I started saying it back to myself. It was, it was like for the first time, and then I started questioning everything, like whether it was the Yoni massage or it was the linga massage.

I'm like, my fingers, I don't know what I'm talking about. I mean, I know what I'm talking about. About, but it all becomes so detached after so much time that when you start thinking about it again, you're like, what the fuck am I talking about? I don't know what I'm talking about.

Richard. I'm still on the line. Oh shit. Oh my God, sorry, doc, totally forgot you're on the phone.

This is sometimes we just go on and on and on, kind of our problem. We are here. With people that we know from Desire, and a really beautiful couple. It's like hot doctor hot wife thing going on.

It's like, like they're too good to be true, right? It's like they stepped out of a soap opera. Yeah, so that's who we're talking to now. We're gonna get some questions answered.

We know you guys from Desire. How many times have you been to the resort? Oh, I'm stumped already. That was an easy one.

Uh, we've been to the resort, uh, many times. How about that? Sounds like a lie to me. Now, I believe that you are a doctor, despite what your voice sounds like.

Now you and I. You know that I got my medical degree online through YouTube and Google, and sometimes we talk about certain cases when we're together. I will concur with certain patients that you have. You confide in me.

I confide in you. Would you say that's accurate? That's accurate statement. Yes, OK, good.

I'm glad you're going along with this play acting. You're doing a fantastic job. So anyway, we have a few questions about body parts, and we figured calling you a certified. proctologist.

I'm not a proctologist, but it probably is covered within my specialty. What we want to talk about is parts of the vagina. I've got some fundamental knowledge in the area, yes. Take one guess where I got all of these words.

You ready? Kitty, cock sock, cooch, cockpit, whisker, biscuit, holster, cum craver, beaver, juice box, spasm chasm, honey pot, and an ax wound. Do you know, do you know where I got that list from? Uh, I've not reviewed that list.

Doctor Jeff, that list came from your wife. Did you really? I did. I'm gonna show you.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, so I just wanna let you know that that is some of the pet names that your wife gave me for a vagina. Those are some good terms. My first question is this.

The vagina lips, they confuse me. Do they have a specific function? Do they slap away bacteria or something when no one's looking like swatting flies? He's already.

I'm being serious. I mean, they're, they're there. They're obviously there, and they're shaped that way for a reason, right? Like an ear.

I'll let the doctors, let us doctors talk, OK, one second. I'm not sure that I can give you a satisfactory answer as to exactly why the anatomy is formed in that general shape. It is probably protective in some ways for hygienic reasons and for general physical protection from the vagina, from the urethra, and also. From the elements it's like a little jacket, you know what I mean, like you pull them together like a little jacket.

I like to pull mine together. I put everything inside and tuck it in, right? I concur with you on that one, doc. I'm gonna now how many are there?

There's, is there 4? Am I correct? There are 4. Yes, there are 2 minor and 2 major.

Yes, I call them in or outer. I don't know what your school called them. Yeah, so minor and major would be usually the terms we would use. I want you to picture a large man at a Piggly Wiggly listening.

To this podcast. That's who you're speaking to. I need you to tone it down just a little bit for my listener. Now, these lips, they're sensitive, right?

I mean, they have feeling and, and we massage them. They are sensitive. There's no doubt. There are a tremendous number of nerve endings that sit all around that area.

We tend to think of the clitoris as an area where there is hypersensitivity, but the whole labia minora, and majorra all have fairly extensive neurologic background that really do give quite substantial. sensation. So I also concur with that. Lauren.

Do you have any specific questions while we have the podiatrist on the phone? When I hear vulva, it confuses me. That's a very kind of general term for that area. All the outer things, yes, the outer things.

When we do the workshop, we go on the just the entrance. As a urologist, you're probably familiar with the circle that sort of goes around just the entrance and the like the pubic bone, yes? What is that bone called? I mean, I mean I'm not.

Exactly sure what you mean. You, you are talking about the, the juice box bone. Oh my gosh. Yes, there is, there is a ring.

It's a fairly substantial size ring, a bony ring, obviously the beaver bone. Oh my God, I love that beaver bone. That's write that down. If I hook my fingers up right in that entrance, when I go right inside and I go up, right, there's this really squishy part.

It's like squishy and it has thin skin and some tissue around it, and it feels like a little sponge. What is that? Fishness. You're the gynecologist.

Go. So that area where it is softer, because the G-spot is actually different spots for different women. Doctor, I don't need you to jump ahead right now. I'm just getting on that squishy part.

Yes, there's a squishy part there. Yes, it doesn't have any real evolutionary advantage that that we know of. I think it's a penis pillow. Can we call it a cockpit pillow?

Sure, that's fine. I think that's what, I think that's, I think that's gonna go. That's what Karen would like to call. I'm still loving beaver bones, beaver bones.

She can't get over. That's awesome. I'm gonna go up top now. I wanna, I wanna get to this clit area.

The clit, it has a hood that just sort of covers everything. Why is it covered up? Is it shy? We tend to think that that's probably the function of that is to offer some protection to one of the most highly nerve innervated areas of our body.

So it's really probably to decrease overall stimulation when it is not retracted. It's a happy hoodie. Me and Karen. Oh, we must be the same kind of doctor.

We do. Read the same abstract in the morning. So, um, so if you, if you look at the areas of the brain where there is neurologic input to that particular area, it's a fairly substantial area of the brain that actually, there's a clit area of the brain. It responds to that particular area.

So the idea of having it somewhat protected so that it wasn't constantly stimulated would be of some evolutionary merit. I wanna move on to inside the, the vagina. I don't know if you know this as, as a bariatric surgeon, but if you You move inside the whole list of all the different specialties. This is impressive, Richard.

And you go all the way back there, right towards the cervix, and you feel that little ball back there. It's like if I was a little man and I wanted a punching bag, and I wanted to go in there and, and do the speed bag. That what is that little ball thing? Do you know what I'm talking about?

He's like Jacques Cousteau of vaginas. Like you got in there really deep, yeah, he does it every week. Are you speaking of the cervix, which does have a, the speed bag? That's what I call the speed bag.

It looks a little like a speed bag of sorts, I suppose. And what, what is the cervix? Oh, so the cervix is the entrance to the uterus. Oh, we don't want to go.

We have no reason to be in. we had just heard from a friend of ours. He was fucking his girlfriend for. I don't wanna hear this story.

It grosses me out. I know how it ends. No, I want to hear it. It involves an IUD, which I'd rather step on an IED than talk about this story.

OK, moving on, moving on, moving on. The, the, the surface is the entrance of the uterus, which, which sits at the end. I don't want to talk about the uterus. Would you like to talk about the fallopian tubes or the ovary?

No, no, no, I just wanna get on the ground rules here in the lifestyle world, we just pretend that that stuff doesn't exist. Fair enough. Now I know you're so excited about this, but I want to talk about the G-spot and the skins gland, which I know you've been waiting for. Can you tell our listener what this gland does.

Essentially, this is what we call a vestibular gland. And it kind of sits on the anterior wall of the vagina. It's kind of right below the urethra and Bartholomew's glands, and it is what is thought to be the source of squirting. I will say that while we do know that that gland does produce some fluid, you're jumping a little bit ahead.

I need you to just stay within your field as a dentist. All right, so you just stop us if we're, if we're wrong. This is what we tell people, the Skene's gland fills with fluid when she's excited. Then it could be a different size and shape in every single wound.

It could be the size of a pea, it could be the size of a golf ball, but everybody has one. It's just the sort of trick of finding that gland, right? And when this fills with fluid, the nerve endings on this gland get extremely, extremely sensitive. And when you touch that part, it is the same nerve endings that are connected to the.

It just sort of 11 side of the same bundle of nerve endings, and this is the G spot. And when you press up against this spot, because it is attached to the urethra, you can get the sensation to urinate. Is any of that correct? I think you're hitting it very correctly.

It is, it is exactly that. And that's why there's a, a fair amount of confusion, the idea of female ejaculation and urination, because they are actually quite similar and very often probably confused. People want to say it's not urine, and people want to say that it is just vaginal fluid. It is in fact urine.

It's just unconcentrated urine. I think we can agree, especially when they start every squirting class with, make sure you drink 9 bottles of water before you come. That should be your first hint that this fluid is in fact coming from your bladder, most of it anyway. So the sensation that they're getting from the skin's gland is triggering an effect to pee.

You are. Releasing a fluid that is not colored like urine. It doesn't smell like urine. It is basically urine that hasn't been made into urine yet.

Am I correct, doctor? You are right on, Richard. That's, I, I think I would explain it, is very similar to how you did. I think you did a very good job with that.

So I honestly, I don't even know why I made this phone call. I'm not, I don't think I'm contributing a lot. I'm not adding a lot to this. The skenes gland is probably what people will think is the source of the, uh, of squirting, but it is, in fact, I would agree.

With you in any volume whatsoever, it is urine. These glands, the Bartholome glands that are, that will have a little bit of fluid. Part of that's for vaginal lubrication, right? It's a mixture.

That's exactly right. So, but anything that you would see in, in heavy volume is absolutely urine. There are no reservoirs for large quantities of fluid that are somehow released. It doesn't exist, and I appreciate your opinion as a person and as an anesthesiologist.

I I mean that's impressive. Follow that up with, look, whatever gets you off, if that feels good, I don't want people to think that because I like to squirt, it has to be ruined as a psychopharmacologist might agree with me in that the guys that see women squirt, I think there's something triggered in their brain that equates it to men coming. There's a. Reward.

There's a job and, and a reward. Feels good for women accomplishing something like an orgasm, and B for a guy, look, I made her come. Psychologically speaking, that's sort of, it's the only physical thing you can see about us coming besides our stupid faces and pointy toes or whatever. I, I mean, I think you're, that's very insightful.

I think you're exactly right. Your read on that is exactly right. Honestly, don't know why I called. Yeah, and that's fine if that's your thing.

It doesn't mean that you're into pee play or golden showers or anything like that. It's just your thing. I just, we, Lauren and myself have a, a tiny bit of an issue with selling a gimmick or selling a, a, a false false. Yeah, it's sort of a, it's sort of a snake oil salesman, right?

It's like you're, you're making these women and these guys really believe, you know, let's learn how to squirt. All right, I bet you already know how to pee. I, I bet. Do you know, and I don't know if you'll know this as an allergist, do you know that if you have to come to squirt, are the two related, or is it just coincidence?

I mean, I, I'll very much. Speak from personal experience than any real medical background, which I've met you. There's a lot of people. Go on.

So my sense, my, my sense is that those things are unrelated. Many women who actually do squirt, so to speak, uh, would not necessarily associate that sensation with orgasm, and that those are separate. And then I think that some women will say that they like the idea. Of squirting, so to speak, but they don't say that's the same as having an orgasm, and most would say they'd prefer an orgasm.

So you and me, we're both men, right? I mean, let's just pretend that the ladies aren't here. Have you ever had to pee so hard in the morning or at any point that once you pee, you feel like you came? It's orgasmic.

Have you ever? I have. I, I, I know the sensation. You're like, Oh my God, amen, brother.

That's it. It's not what everybody wants to hear as far as squirting, and I find that often. And there are guys out there, there are gals out there that will look you in the eye and they will say, it's not pee, man, it's not pee. It's, it's not.

As a rectal surgeon, you might be the, the correct person to, to ask, when you are doing that motion to make a woman squirt, are we pressing close to the bladder? Yes, in fact, it, I mean, at least as I understand what most would recommend is the motion that generates that kind of an outcome. It does. It Requires kind of anterior frontward directed pressure across the front of the vagina and rapid motion.

Of course, we know that the bladder sits on the front, so that would seem like if, if, let's put it this way, if I were looking for a way to induce urination, the technique that's described, that's what I would use. Listen, if you like squirting, squirt. One last question about the vagina, and as an addiction psychiatrist, you may know the answer to this. Odor.

I wanna talk about odor. This is something that women hate, uh, men aren't very fond of it. I don't believe that the vagina should have an odor. If you smell something, can we assume that it's bacteria?

You said the exactly correct thing, which is to say that the vagina should not have an odor under its healthy conditions. It can be all kinds of things, yeah, so, so certainly bacteria could be a cause, right? Um, there are certain viral structures that can do that. You can get it with Different kind of fungal infections which can cause that.

Certainly, yeah, foreign bodies can do that. There are, there are lots of things that can cause malodorous. Is it OK from here on out to say, no, lady, vaginas shouldn't smell? That is true.

vaginas should not smell. Well, thank you, Doctor Jeff and Karen. We appreciate you calling in. I know for a fact that we're not gonna get to see you for quite some time.

We miss you. You so much and I miss your penis and Karen, take care of it. Take care of your, your yoni, your vagina. Tuck, tuck everything in your little jacket and pet, pet her beaver bone for the love of God.

That was, that's a good tip. I'll do that, Karen. I can't wait to see you again. Your breasts are so beautiful.

I love looking at them. Oh, good. And well, maybe we'll, maybe we'll go soon. Oh, that would be so good for me.

It's all about us. Squirting urine or not urine? That is a really good question. I am unclear as to this point if it is urine.

What do you think it is? I think it's urine, urine or not urine. Awesome. Oh, you're gonna say urine or not urine.

I'm going to say not urine because it's more enjoyable to believe it's not urine. Squirting urine or not urine? Not urine, urine, urine, not urine. Urine or not urine?

No pee, absolutely pee. It's not urine or not urine? A little bit of squirting urine or not urine. It's not.

Do you know where the Skene's gland is in the vagina? Do you know where the Skene's gland is? I do now. It was a learning opportunity, man.

Hello. Hey doctor, it's Lauren and Richard. Richard had unprotected sex last night, and we have some questions. Sure, what are your concerns?

My concerns? Well, um, I don't know. Let me just start from the beginning. Usually on our Friday we always go to the jacuzzi.

We have a drink, and this woman was all over me. I mean all over me, and I was having every second of it. They were so drunk and then we saw her the next day, completely different person. Yeah, I think she was really hungover.

Well, whatever. I liked her better drunk. So, and, and then just things started happening, yeah, like you swim over and you're like, sorry, I just made out with a girl. I don't even know what sorry, that was her.

That was the girl. It was that woman. I was like, I'm just made out with someone. I need to let you know it just happened.

Every time I turned around, someone was grinding up against me, not grabbing or groping, grinding up against me, and my penis was in a very, very good mood that night. That's fun. It was constantly hard. It was just always like, hello, pet me.

Then things progressed. There was a person that was in the workshop, you know who I'm talking about. We've met them before. I've always secretly sort of wanted this woman.

Then she started grinding up. It just became very active. I stood up to get out of the jacuzzi, and my penis was pointing towards Saturn. I don't really know who it was.

Someone grabbed my penis and started blowing me, and then it turned into 2 people blowing me, and then 3 people blowing me. I was trying to get the. Whole jacuzzi in on it, but that didn't work out. So then everybody's blowing me, and then you start blowing him.

I do like blowing people on the edge of the and then the other husband was on the other side watching because he was really into watching. He was giving her instruction. I love that, and I'm just getting so turned on and then you're with the other guy who had the biggest penis I've ever seen in my life, and he had no idea. Yeah, it was, it was a good.

Looking penis. A true craftsman would have that penis. I need that for work. Can I borrow that for work?

And then I can hear the other husband, not the newbie couple, and he's telling her, just jump on that cock. Is that how it started? Oh yeah, come on, baby. You know you want to jump on that cock.

Honestly, I almost came from him saying that while she was blowing me. Climb on it. Come on, fuck that. And I'm like almost was like, Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

So look, I'm hard right now. You had made a comment like, let's get a bed. Let's get a bed, and I walk over to the bed. I think you said I have to go pee and I said I'm sorry that I know this is really bad timing.

I'll be really fast, right? But the train had already left the station at that point when you came back. Was I having sex? Yes, I was.

Yes, I walked back to a functioning fivesome. I gotta be honest, it was working without you. It really was. It was functioning without you.

It was fine. I had no idea. I remember looking at you a couple of times and thinking she doesn't have a partner. As you're thrusting inside of her.

She's got to deal with it. I'm in the middle of the sexing. Yeah, so I got, I jumped in and newbie couple was together. You were with her.

I talked to the husband, I'm just checking in with him, and he's like, I'm good. I just start watching because I like to watch, and I'm watching you fuck her, and I'm like, this is hot. And then I came back around because I felt like I'm just having sex with her. I'm not giving the rest of the group a piece of me, which is honestly what they're all there for.

So, I go back around to be with the other girl and let her feel what, what an average penis feels like in her mouth because she's Been used to that horse cock of her husband's for so long. I wanna give her a little taste of average, so I do that for a while and then I come back around the other side because I forget, oh wait, I'm married and I have a wife here. So then I come back to you and then I wanna show you what my cock tastes like because you've probably forgot at this point because of that giant horse cock that's in your mouth. Everybody sees.

like they were at this height of coming. I was like, I want to come on your face, right? So in my head, I'm thinking, oh, we're all gonna come on our face, right? And I start just furiously just masturbating.

And I pictured everybody was gonna like get in kind of a semicircle around you, but then it just sort of happened that it was like everybody's just in a circle watching me masturbate. And then I'm, I'm just like, everyone's just watching me masturbate. I'm doing this by myself. It's like you were the leader and then you were no one followed.

So I'm just a guy jerking off to people watching me. So then I was like, well, this is awkward. Awkward as fuck. So, I need to come quickly.

So then I just started getting more furious, and the more furious I got with my masturbating, the more awkward it got. And I don't know if you noticed how I got out of the situation. I came, I was like, All right, everyone, I'm going to get something to eat. He's sitting there like wiping gum out of my eye.

I just went to the bathroom, like, where'd you go? I'm like, I had to get the cum off my hands. I was covered in cum. Well, what about your wife?

I don't know. Which is so not like you. I mean, I know for, for joke's sake, like we're making fun of it, but it isn't really like you. But there was a, there was a sense of, oh, I knew the awkwardness that you were in.

So I'm like, I, I cut you like some slack. I'm like, let's just get out of it, you know what I mean? And let's just go to dinner. So we invited the newbie couple to dinner and we're like, do you guys want to eat with us and let's just, let's have a debrief.

And the, the point of this was Is I had unprotected sex. Well, I guess my question is, it's a bigger question, which is how much fear and how much reality? Yeah, how much lying and how much pretending that we're all angel child? How much do we all lie about we have protected sex all the time?

I need to find these things out. What are the statistics of contracting an STI? Again, if I use myself as a, as a cross. You start to get very laid back.

You sometimes get so comfortable with other couples that you're like, I trust that they're clean, but you don't know who they've been with, right? So they're also swingers, right? So it's like this weird mentality thing. You're like, Oh, I know them.

Well, you didn't know the 9 people that they had sex with since you saw them last. That's the point, right? I know, I'm gonna get more answers. I'm gonna follow up on this.

I don't know. I'm what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do something about it. Hello, I'm still here.

Oh my God, doc, I'm so sorry. We are on the phone right now. It is BJ and Doctor James who are both in the lifestyle. So these guys are in the lifestyle and they've set up a service for you to get your tests for STIs.

I had unprotected sex. This is not something that I do often, but But now I just sound like everybody else in the lifestyle. We believe that not everybody in the lifestyle is completely honest when they say they always absolutely have protected sex. Yeah, we call bullshit because we've been in too many situations where people sort of throw caution to the wind, and there's no way that you can't not think at that point.

Well, how many other people have you thrown caution to the wind? I feel special, but now I also feel kind of dirty. That's kind of why we came out and wanted to attack and address with the kink community, because again, being in the lifestyle, we've been in situations where, yes, we've noticed that things just don't happen the way ideally they should. And sure, they say yes, then that they get tested regularly and that they always use protection.

But aside from even protection, there are other fluids being exchanged. People aren't. Always honest. And sometimes if you're a very active swinger, like some of us may be Lauren, we need to be tested a little frequently than others and going to my doctor every 2 to 3 weeks because, you know, I go to monthly parties and everything else is kind of getting me weird stares.

So VIP testing services comes in handy. Going really quick into some of the specifics about catching certain things, having say. Safe sex with, say, a condom, it's not necessarily gonna protect you from everything, right? So what is something that a person can acquire or contract or acquire?

I like to speak in stock terms when I'm talking about my STIs. Yeah, that's how I, that's how I do it. Yeah, I like to acquire my STIs. So what is something that really has nothing to do with having Safe sex, HPV, obviously it is, that is a skin to skin, yes.

So, so is herpes, and it's like if you want an absolute safe sex, you could either get tested by us or put a biohazard suit on. People are gonna have unprotected sex. It's gonna happen. Correct.

Is there an overabundance of fear when it comes to STIs? Should people panic? I, I'm not sure panic is the right word, but I, it is. a concern, and especially in, you know, swinger community, because people can spread this stuff pretty quickly amongst, go back to 6 degrees of freedom.

It's like you could spread, spread the disease to the entire population of the planet in 6 degrees of freedom, so it can spread very quickly. And some, some of them are trivial and they're easily treated. OK. What would be a what would be a trivial one?

The non-trivial. Trivial ones would be HIV. Obviously hepatitis C is not trivial. Hepatitis C is curable, unlike HIV.

HIV is treatable, but it's not currently not curable. All right, but what if I wake up tomorrow with syphilis? How long till I go crazy from syphilis? Well, that's a year's thing.

Which one does his leg fall off? Tertiary is when you go insane and your body parts start falling off. That takes years. That takes years.

All right, I'm kind of a procrastinator. But with, but with syphilis, you can easily not know that you got the primary infection, and once the primary infection is done with, you feel fine, and then, then the syphilis is sort of hanging around waiting to do its thing, and that can take years. So you could also be a carrier and just spreading it, not knowing that you have it correct, yes. We do have to think of others, and we do have to ethically think.

Of not spreading, not potentially spreading, that's something that you may have or something that you do have that you should be concerned about that. Yes, I, I absolutely agree. Gonorrhea. How long is that incubation period before?

Oh, a matter of days, days, really? Yes, you're gonna get that pretty quickly. From what I understand, something like herpes can be caught orally. The exposure to any bodily fluid potentially could cause you to acquire an STI.

Here, a lot of our demos and a lot of our bigger, heavier nights. Not only is there the standard play body fluids, but we do have blood play and medical play and that kind of stuff. So not only are we dealing with your sexually transmitted fluids and your salivas, we have sweat, we have blood. There are people that get into golden showers and that kind of stuff.

So you've got all that kind of fluid and, and bacteria is going on. So really, the only safe way to continue to, to play and, and be not only good to yourself, but good to. Your community and society is to be tested regularly. Is it if you are sexually active, you have HPV.

Is that a true statement? It is not universally true, but HPV is extremely common. Now. HPV is not that big a deal.

The reason being is, you know, the number one issue with HPV is certain serotypes, and there's lots of different ones, lead to malignancy, specifically cervical cancer, OK, but HPV is the virus that causes warts. And again, there's different kinds, there's kind of, you know, the common word I can get get on your finger, that's not, that's a different stereotype, but cervical cancer is completely preventable with routine check, it's almost impossible to not pick that up before it becomes serious. Obviously, you don't wanna have to do that. It's something that, that's, that's completely preventable.

So, but yes, it's extremely common. What do you, what do you think is the most common mistake or the common problem with spreading STD? Unless you get tested, you might not know you have it. So it's not on your mind because it's like, OK, I, I primary syphilis, it can be completely missed, and you may, you could have syphilis, you may have no idea.

Hepatitis C, no idea you have it. Same thing with the Lydia, oftentimes asymptomatic. A lot of the problem comes from people not testing frequently enough. I mean, they, they're going to make poor decisions.

They're going to use protection, they're not going to use protection. The problem really stems from people not being educated. in the way to know that really, the more active you are, the more frequently you should be getting tested just to ensure that everything is good and that you're acting as responsibly as possible, even when you're making irresponsible decisions. What is the issue that you, you would say is most common with people and not getting tested?

It's, I think it's convenience is one. If you're going to get tested at, you can go to your regular doctor, as, as they like to say, it's like, you know, these days, if you're lucky, you can get a. Point in a week, you know, you get your test done the next day or so. Results come back 3 or 4 days later.

Your doctor might not get to them. So, so what is the time frame for something like with VIP testing? The last test I did, I, they got through test Friday. Results Monday.

That's 1 business day. Wow, that's awesome. That's amazing. All right, so go, go visit Doctor James and or BJ over at VIP Testing Services.

You can find them on Facebook. You can find them on Instagram. You're on FetLife, you can check them out on FetLife. The main thing that separates them from a lot of different places is the discretion that you get, but mostly that you can talk to Doctor James personally.

It's not a tech, it's not a nurse, it's not somebody that's gonna just feed you a bunch of crap. They live and exist in the lifestyle world, in the swinger's world. So it's, it's something that they're gonna understand. If you have any questions, go to their website.

They have a lot of information there that you can check out everything that you need to know. VIP testing services. What room are you guys in? 1802 1104 2304 2301.

We're in 2404. 1st, what room are you in? 1002. All right, I'll be there in 5 minutes.

You always have safe sex. Yes, yes. Do you always have safe sex? Yes, safe sex.

Yes. Practice safe sex. Always. You always practice safe sex?

Absolutely. Did you ever slip and have unprotected sex? Yes, yes, and it was not planned to do that. Have you ever slipped and accidentally not had safe sex?

Yes, accidentally, yes, something has happened. Yes. Did you get tested after you accidentally didn't have safe sex? RNA test.

Yes. Have you guys ever slipped and accidentally? Not had safe sex, not before talking about it, but you have had unprotected sex in the lifestyle. Yes, one protected couple.

Yes, OK. Condom came off inside of me. Did you get tested after that? I always get tested.

What are you more afraid of catching, gonorrhea or shingles? Shingles. Have you had the chickenpox? Yes, then the shingles virus is already inside of you.

Gonorrhea or the shingles virus? Shingles. Have you had the chickenpox? Yeah, then the shingles virus is already inside of you, my friend.

I Catching gonorrhea or the shingles virus? Shingles virus. Did you have chickenpox? I did.

The shingles is already inside of you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. All right, did you always practice safe sex? He's my first.

He's your first and only. You just stumped me on my own question. I'm going to end it with this. Alright, I first have to apologize.

This episode is late because you were sick. Blame it on me. Don't get sick. They're waiting.

They don't have time. Alright, so big announcement. Malibu stings. If your mission in life is to be banned from the community pool.

That joke was written for me by our listener Jeff, but really, Malibu strings, they got here. They came and I've been taking pictures and I love it. I know, and they didn't come in a box. They came in a bag.

Malibu strings. They come in a sat bag. Anybody who's booked through us, thank you so much. As you know, we get uh 10% commission through Desire if you book through our website, so we really, really appreciate that.

It helps us out a lot, mainly with Lauren's drug problem. A lot of people booking through our affiliate, it is blown up. We love everybody that comes to the hotel for us, with us, whatever, and we found ourselves in an odd situation. One of the guests that booked through us, which is we were hanging around them a little too much to the point that they were.

Like, OK, um, you guys can fuck off now. You can, we're just gonna go now. You guys wanna hang out? No, we really don't.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for your little bag. But if you guys could just get out of our shit. Oh God, it was so.

No, but we could come up here on the weekend if you want and hang out. I mean, we just turn into insane people. So, uh, we promise that we will try to figure out that balance of what hanging out. Is appropriate.

What is a little stalky. Alright, I also wanna thank these people, these Patreon. I actually don't even know how to say the word, for sending money to strangers to us who are, who are Jim and Pam. Thank you, Jim and Pam.

We actually got to meet Jim and Pam recently in the workshops, and we adore you. Thank you so much for your support. I really do appreciate it, but seriously, stop sending money to strangers. It's just, it's stupid, but we're not taking it off our pitch.

All right, so what else have we learned? I think we have to think about safe sex as making sure that we don't spread any potential something that we might have to the population as opposed to, I don't wanna catch any of your disgusting virus, keeping the community safe, and that's your responsibility. But at the same time, bareback sex does. Feel really good.

Fun. I mean, it feels really good. I gotta be honest, yeah, and you can have bareback sex if you wanna meet your people and get tested and do that. It's your decision.

I felt like I taught that doctor a lot. I feel like he's gonna use beaver bone in his lexicon now in a meeting with other doctors and saying we need to talk about the beaver bone. Today we've also learned that still a lot of people think squirting is complete vaginal juices. It is not.

It is pee. I'm gonna tell them about Facebook. Facebook's there. You can go to it.

All right, now tell them about Twitter. Twitter is room 77 podcast. Also Instagram room 77 podcast. And every time we get a new follower, I come.

It's a true story. Book your trip through room 77 podcast.com. Use my box. Click on Lauren's box.

We will see you next time in part two of this episode that we haven't named yet. And that about does it for us. For more information, photos, or to contact us, go to room 77 podcast.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77.

We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.