Ep. 45: How To DP While Getting Screwed by Your Partner

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Better with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now we do. We love work, party, and play in the middle of paradise after 18 years in the lifestyle, we thought we saw it all, but we were so wrong, so wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day.

So come to room 77. Let's play. All right, Lauren, welcome to my humble cave. I will always enjoy being in your cave.

That doesn't even make sense. Why did I try and make it an innuendo? I don't know. Just trying to connect with you on a level that most podcasters do when they're alone together in their closets.

Sometimes I just try and be cool and hip like the kids. How is your heart? How does your soul? What are your chakras doing?

What chakras are fucking what? No, I am, I'm actually good. We, it's good to be back to work. We had a little bit of a vacation and we'll talk about all those kinds of things, but physically.

I'm over being uh sick with food poisoning. Yeah, disgusting. You ate a tuna fish sandwich in the Miami airport which at the same time all listener said, Why would you do that? Why would you eat a tuna fish sandwich at the Miami airport?

In fact, that's why they were stacked so high because no one else bought them. She even said to me when I said tuna, she was like, Tuna, tuna. She tried to warn me that I'm feeling better and I'm back. Alright, well, first and foremost to everyone, our most important person out there, you know who you are.

We are super duper sorry about Texas and that we had to cancel that amazing pool party there. We wanna really apologize. That is, however, why this episode will be called How to DP and get screwed by your Partner. We want to extend our apologies, can't go into details right now because we gave our word that we would not do that until some things were sort of fleshed out, settled, and uh we are people who stand by our word, so we are going to not talk about the particulars of it for now and that is all I'm gonna say about that and on a completely separate note, if there are any.

Event planners out there looking for work, please contact us at room 77life.com. We're hiring now. We're looking. We will move on.

We will figure out a way. We always do. And when in doubt, we can always bitch and moan about that tiny little Italian GM. Yo, you know, I'm so stressed, bro.

I'm so stressed, bro, because I just want a big refrigerator like they have in the United States, bro. Dude, you have like 88 rooms here. Like how stressful could it be? I've been in motels bigger off Route 66 than this.

My life is so stressful, bro. You're also very traumatic. Go have a little espresso and a little cannoli, a little a little slice of pizza in you. You're a little hangry.

First of all, we wanna thank all the patreons out there. This episode is for you. We'll announce the new ones later. We had a lot this month because, uh, we fucked on camera, and that's how it rolls.

That tends to get us more, more patreons. We're like, hey, uh, we have this thing where we fucked on camera. I was like, I'll join. I'll spend 15 watch you guys fuck.

We'll get to those, those later. This wouldn't be possible without you actually. Set up a telegram group for the patrons. So we have a telegram group that is for the patrons and for the Antigua people, and I have to tell you that the Antigua people, they're some dirty ass motherfuckers.

That group is out of control. I don't even go in that group. You have to avoid stay off the island. I don't even know if I'm gonna go on the trip.

Maybe you just stay home and I'll supervise the children. Yeah, it's just a bunch of memes and dicks and tits fucking and then just today's. Underwear is just all this weird underwear, about 100 people in there, and yeah, it's a lot of fun, great place to share. So speaking of Antigua, it is sold out.

I'm sorry everybody, but I think we will do another one, figure out a different billing system over there at the hotel. Uh, oh my God, this all leads to SDC, the sex experience hotel takeover, the hotel takeover in Mexico. All of this will end up in a road at DP town. Which is you getting a penis smashed into your anus and to your vagina at the same time.

Did you enjoy that? It was a lot of fun, actually. I mean, it's not like I haven't done it before, but it was a super hot couple, and I love the whole thing of getting, picking someone up who just happens to be laying in the pool next to you. The lead up that that I really enjoyed the broad strokes here, SDC.

Party at Haven. We were there because a couple sponsored us actually back in 2019. I mean, they just were like, hey, we want you to go in 2020 and uh we bought you tickets. We adore these people.

They're awesome people and we hung out with them there and we made it through a vacation. They didn't fire us as friends. Thank you guys so much. You know who you are.

I don't even think they listen to us, to be honest with you. Uh, I was really impressed with the, the resort. They just the rooms, the layout, everything was really much nicer than I thought it was going to be. Yeah, it's like a couple of years old, and the closet space had me sold at Space for your shoes.

We spent at least 20 minutes going, Look at these closets. Are you kidding me? And in the shower. We had a great time.

We danced a little. I danced with robots. I had a hard time. I'm talking to people there though.

I really did. I was overwhelmed for the first day and a half, easy getting back into the swing of things. I didn't mean to say that. I know talking to people when you've been sitting in a house for like months.

Yeah, I, it took me 3 solid days of sort of breaking down the walls, and one of the, the reasons was the resorts. It's like 4. 400 rooms or 300 rooms, yeah, yeah, which would take a very talented GM, I would imagine, you know, it's you're not naturally smooshed together. You have to actually walk up to people and that's where I was like, oh, I haven't done this in a while.

I'm just gonna not, yeah, and it's a lot of people that, that sort of already knew each other from the last trip and the last trip because I think this trip is like, uh, I think 150 years old. I think they've been, I think it started at Stonehenge is where. And they had two pools there. They had like a pool that was kind of just a rectangle party pool, right?

Yeah, they had like an elevated DJ stand and like, and we went there. Listen, you're at a rave with 300 other people that you don't know, and all you're gonna do is dance, crank the music up. When you are at a lifestyle event and people have to talk to get their groove on, lower the music a tad for me, and I, I met a few others there. We're not spring chickens anymore.

You get. To a point where you get about 7 minutes of doing what say it again and then after about 7 minutes you're like fuck this. I just stopped. I just stopped listening to everybody.

It makes my throat tickle just thinking about screaming over the music. So we left that area, but in the other section of the hotel they had this ginormous gargantuan, as you would say, expansive pool that was like a beach. Entrance all around it all the way around and no one, I mean no one was there the first day. So Laura and I looked at each other and said tomorrow we are going to that pool.

We're gonna go lay out all by ourselves. There were no chairs available at the other pool. We, there was only 2 chairs left, and we, so we had to sit next to these two people who looked like innocent puppy dogs, right? I was like, hi, yeah, their clothes on.

Yeah, they, and, and that's another thing like no one. Had their clothes up there. I mean, I'd say maybe 20 25% of the women had their tops off and maybe 5% of the guys were. I don't even think that on the first day, none.

There was absolutely none. We had to ask someone, hi, hello, is this clothing optional because we were told it was clothing optional, so it is, so I can just take my pants off and you're not just playing a cruel joke on me. I'm not gonna get naked and get arrested, OK. Yeah, we had to ask, so I took my pants off and I was like, usually this creates some sort of synergy for everybody else to drop trout.

No, they didn't, they didn't, not on the first day, no, we never went back to that pool again. That was the end of it. So we went to the beach entrance pool, the really, really big one. I'm getting naked and I'm gonna do sexy stuff.

This is ridiculous and What the vacation's about to me, and I, we get down, we sit down next to the exact same people we were next to at the pool the day before. So now it looks like we're stalking. Yeah, and we just went outside our room, right? And they're just, they're cute as a button, and I'm like, oh, they're gonna think I'm stalking them.

I mean, I will gladly have sex with them. They're really, really cute, but I know I'm gonna scare these people. I know they're gonna hate us by the end, but I enjoyed sitting next to them because they were smart and they were funny and they were cute, and her tits were fucking fantastic. She had, uh, piercing piercings, and I just saw all those piercings.

I'm just like slap those titties, but I knew she wasn't gonna know what the hell I was talking about because they weren't. I don't think they were listeners, but I don't, I doubt they were. But I just like you can't just say to people. Hey, I gotta slap those titties.

Yeah, I know. I love that you noticed that she had her nipples pierced. Yeah, you noticed before I did. Yeah, you could see it through a bikini, right?

No, I love that you were looking. That's my point. And she didn't have her top off at first, and I was like, Do you have your nipples pierced? She's like, Yeah.

She lifted her top up to show me her nipple piercing. I'm like, Well, the top's pretty much off now. You might as well just keep it off. She, she got out of it, uh, soon, but her husband, they were, they were really, really sweet.

But there was a couple that really, really pretty couple fit like that couple that makes you feel, uh, I'm disgusting. Yeah, like maybe I'll skip lunch, right? They had talked to you, they didn't talk to me. I was like, oh, I want to talk to them at some point.

They're just sort of hanging by the back of their. Room because they have one of the swim up pools. They were very to themselves before they came to the pool. They went out on their patio, which is like right in front of our chairs, sort of.

I mean, eye line, and they start doing naughty stuff. I think she's blowing them on the patio. Yeah, she starts blowing them. I'm the only one that can see.

Everybody's facing me because I'm a messiah and I'm like, oh, she's blowing them. Every single head turns around at the same time, and they all lock eyes with the person getting blown and making them feel so uncomfortable. And I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Why would you do that?

And they walked inside. They left. We chased them inside. I was like, Well, that's the last time we're gonna see them.

So it wasn't, it was not. So they came out to the, the beach area and sat next to us but kept to themselves. By this point. I had been naked and drinking a little bit.

I had already rubbed. You'd done like a little oil hand job. So the nice sweet couple, that's what I call them, they're right behind us. I said, Look, if you want a sex show, don't stare at other people in their rooms.

I'll give you a sex show right here. That's right, right? So I was like, You start rubbing oil on me, and you have a pool full of people. That's a little more full today, right, because everybody decided, everybody had Richard and Lauren's idea.

Yeah, they did. We're gonna go to the, the big. Pool today. Get away from that loud mess over there.

I'm like, I'm gonna lay down and, uh, you're gonna get my cock car. OK. Now there's a lot of pressure because not a lot of people are naked. Not a lot of people are being very sexual.

So I'm like, You better get hard fast. Better get hard fast. I don't know how you do it. Oh, I'm a professional.

That's how it's so much pressure. Oh God, it's a lot. So I'm like, you think, did you stroke it, you. Make it hard hard like you, but most important, make it look big.

Make it look big. I don't care how you hold it in your hand, but you make it look big. Make it look bigger. And that's what I'm actually saying to you while you're jerking me off.

Make it look bigger. Make it look bigger. But anyway, I got turned on enough. Once it gets through that threshold where I'm like, alright, I'm hard now, then, then it's game on.

It's so funny to understand that men are very easy and complicated at the same time. I turned my head and the couple that had been quiet and to themselves and that uh we caught giving a blowjob, they had come down to the pool and they were completely clothed, right? Then you started doing your thing to me while you're trying to make my dick hard and I looked back over and it was like a magic trick. I looked over at them.

They had all their clothes on. I looked over at you and you were blowing me. Then I looked over there again. They were completely naked and she was jerking them off.

And I'm like, when did that happen? So I look over there and I'm looking at them, and they're sort of looking at us and who asked for oil? That was when I came in as the ultimate wingman, and I said, Would you like some oil? Brilliant.

Do you need some oil? Brilliant wingman. Yeah, I have time. So Lauren stands up and says, Do you need some oil?

And I think, that's my fucking wife. That's my wife. Now, the look on the husband's face is, yes, yes, I need some fucking oil. I need some fucking oil right fucking now.

And the wife looks over and she's like, I don't know. Do we need some oil? And he's like, yes, we goddamn. some fucking oil.

So she's like, oh, OK. So she starts sort of walking over for the oil and you hand her the oil, and then my wife, as if you didn't knock it out of the park right now, right? You gotta run around all the bases. I don't really know how baseball works, but, but you knock it out of the park and then you go, do you want some help putting it on?

My cheeks hurt. So now this is good and bad, right, because one, you get to go over there and have a tiny little threesome which lasted a little bit too long. And I wound up alone erect in a chair. I was standing back with nice sweet couple.

Like, I feel a little awkward now. Like, at first it was hot, and now, now it's too long. Now I'm just sitting here hard in a chair, but you were doing really good. Well, it wasn't really a threesome either.

It was a me and him some, and I was feeling her out some. That's why I was like, you know, either you could walk over and just Whatever, I don't know what you would do. Oh, me, I was gonna do that, yeah, like that would be a typical gameplay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but they intimidated me a little too much. Later we go over to the thing and he's asking actually about Antigua.

Like, what's the deal with Antigua? I said, um, if you go you get a free fuck from us or something like that. He just sort of laid into the comment before I knew it. I'm standing there with a heart on and we're both like feeling you up, and it's just three of us and his wife.

is over on the phone like, just give me one second. I'm on a I'm on a business call, but I'm gonna get get freaky with you guys. Just give me one second. To make a long story short, we wound up DPing the fuck out of you.

So we, we did a DP in your honey hole in your vagina hole, and uh we got the whole thing on video and we cut it together in a way that we cut their faces out and threw it up on Patreon if you wanna go see that and we. Did a little narration to it to show you how not to do DP, but it was a lot of fun. It was a really, really hot couple. I will say this about myself.

This doesn't happen often. I, I hate condoms, you know that. I think our listener knows that she was so wet that I could not feel a thing. I just keep thinking to myself every night before I go to sleep, God, I made her so wet.

I made her, I made her too wet to function. That's the level of hotness that I am, yeah. It's, I'm sure she's not like this with every guy. No, that's her level of attraction that you did to your pheromones and what you did to her.

Yeah, whatever I did fucked her shit up, and you go to night, you go to bed every night thinking that I was so good she could not function sexually, but in a way that was like she's overflowing, she's overflowing, she's overproducing fluids. I didn't want her to get dehydrated, to be honest. I would have loved to have had sex with her more. I really would have, but she was so wet and I, my condom was, it sucks so bad, and that was about it.

I mean that was, that was our takeaway from that. We're kind of emotionally exhausted from the entire, uh, uh, debacle that happened with us in Texas. Stayed low. We did a podcast while we were there just briefly called Sex Whisper, and it's a Mexican podcast, Mexico City.

Yeah, I don't know how anyone's gonna understand us. I mean. He said like 4 or 5 words in Spanish when they started, the music started. It was so loud.

There were no headphones. There was, I don't know how anybody heard anything, a nightmare. I'm locked in a, I'm locked in a padded room right now, and he had asked me, he was like, Oh, you're not talking that much. I'm like, Who could?

Who could, who could talk under these conditions? And like, and then I go edit for like 9 hours or whatever crazy shit I do. And we had asked him, and we're like, Well, you got a lot of editing to do. He's like, I have one word I have to cut out.

I know. I'm like, and then that's like, let me just take a second and say like, what, you know, we joke about Patreon and this wouldn't be here without you guys, but the amount of, the amount of editing and stuff that he does is, it's, you know, well, I wasn't, I wasn't gonna come from that. I was just gonna say to the people out there who do listen, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I could bring you one every single week, but I can't do that.

Like I can't just go live. No, I can't. I can't hand that out. People listen to a lot of stuff and that's, that's awesome.

But in that particular situation with the, the music playing and there was like 4 people talking at 66 people, 6 people talking into like 4 microphones. I can't do that. I just, so I'm sorry. It's funny watching you squirm though a little in your chair.

It's very cute. That's what I was trying to say it anyway, I'm sorry. We can't bring you on once a week. I'm sorry.

We, we, we pretty much left after that. There was a man who kept knocking on our door who lost his wife. That was hysterical. We had asked our friend, we're like, Hey, do you have any medicine?

We need a particular type of medicine, our sponsors, by the way. It's like, Yeah, I'm gonna run that up to you right now because I am the nicest person on the planet. We're expecting him to come up with the medicine, and there's a knock at the door. And I opened the door and it's a man standing in a towel, just a towel, kind of wet, and I'm like, hi, and he's like, I'm sorry, I'm looking for my wife.

I'm like, you got 300 more rooms. So then I go back to waiting for the guy to come back with the medicine and of course. I opened the door, it's him again. I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I still can't find my wife. It's just a couple of minutes, but like in that time, did he make it through the entire hotel? I think he tried like one more door and just came back. I was like, fuck it.

I'm gonna go back to those people. So we said to her like, you wanna come in? You come in. We didn't even stay the last night.

We, uh, go. out of there like spies in the middle of the night. We packed up our shit. We were like, let's go home and get a really, really good night's sleep.

We get home and there's a fucking wedding. There's a wedding reception happening like 15 ft from our bedroom and we're like, motherfucker. Why? Oh well, such is life and as life is about learning, I don't know if that's true.

I hope you learned something in there. All of that was brought to you by these amazing patreons who keep us going. Lauren, name some of the people that are responsible for our funding. All right, thank you, Paul, Brian, G and M, H, Roland, Brad, Rayson Revo.

0818 Tony and Natalie, John H2O Ismac, John, Tony, Dusty, Antonio, Zamboni, Jeremy, Fred, and Incognito. And those have been so far the best Patreons we've had yet. Nothing against the old ones. They're amazing, but this batch really, really good.

Yeah, they brought me coffee actually, this, this batch. Thank you so much for your support. This next story is gonna fit in quite nicely to to what we have to say. This part that I have to say now is gonna tee up the story really nice.

What we have to say is, what are we gonna talk about? You know. Tell me. You have no idea what we're doing, do you?

I just point to you. I have a whole thing going on. I know. I'm literally like, I have no idea what I'm doing.

What do you think we're talking about right now? The DP? No. Well maybe no, you are wearing your workout clothes still.

I am. I'm recording in my, uh, workout clothes. Yeah, we have a lot to talk about. We don't have a lot of time and we are running a little bit late because I suspect you went back to the gym to look at the really beautiful guy that was there today.

That's my suspicion. I claimed it as leaving my phone there. You did. Oops, I left my phone there.

I have to go back to the gym now. Let me explain to our listener what I saw today. I've seen this guy before, right? I see him walk in, right?

Usually we're leaving when he's coming in. Now this gentleman, there are not a lot of men in this world that can turn me instantly into a 15 year old girl. But he turns me into a 15 year old girl. I imagine it's him and Zac Efron.

So every time I see him, right, his body is perfect, hair perfect, skin perfect. I stare at him to try to find a flaw, and I can't. His stubble is scruff, a little bit patchy. It's as far as I got.

His fingers seemed maybe a tad short, maybe not so symmetrical. I don't know, but that's, that's as much as I got. Everything down to the, the way his hair is. Uh, his smoldering eyes.

I saw him again today and I thought, god damn it, I, I just don't wanna work out near him because he just looks like a machine. He looks like if you said, Hey, bring in the playgirl cover model of the month, right, in a man version. Playgirl. Oh, is that what?

Yeah, playgirl, not playboy, playgirl, and you're like, Oh, well, that makes sense. He looks like that person who won the cover. So today we were there and I said, I'm gonna work out legs today. He has.

He has legs that are the size if you put both of my legs together, that's what one of his legs looks like. It's amazing. Like he, it's almost like um paint buckets or something. Like his calves aren't huge, but it's just the way that he's really put some mass on there.

No, it's, and it's all proportionately perfect, which it is. It goes right into his butt and everything, and it just makes me. Isn't staring. Yeah, well, everybody else was, including myself, so you were sitting right next to him, right now.

Most men in this, I wasn't sitting, I was working out in the squat rack next to him. You were, and he was next to you. Most guys would like sort of run over and be like, Hey babe, how you doing? Everything, everything cool?

And I'm off to the side like, I'm pretending I don't know you. Hit on my wife. I wanna see you stick a dinner. Go flirt with her and I'm like, Lauren, flirt more.

Do something better. Start doing some stretches. He was, I was, he was doing lots of stretches and I was doing these burpee things, jumping sort of into his area, but he was just, I just want to tell everyone you cannot enter the gym and just start doing stretches unless you look like. This dude, he starts doing, he starts doing stretches and you're like, whatever you're doing is working.

So I had a moment where I was like, I am not gonna do legs today. I am, I'm aborting that plan because I have to go into his section and I don't wanna embarrass myself. But then I thought to myself, Richard, this is wrong. You have to do your thing, like stay on your path.

Do your legs even though you use like 5 pounds when you squat. Go do your thing, man. So I go over and I start doing my legs and stuff. He's also wearing like perfect workout clothes like an LA wardrobe stylist.

Put them together. He did a lot more observing. I was trying not to observe. I could not stop watching.

Not only was I watching him, I was watching everybody else watch him because all the girls in there are glancing over at him, right? You could see they're soiling their pants. He reminds me of that actor in a movie that they cast, pretty, but he probably couldn't act, so they didn't give him any lines. That's the look he has.

So he was next to me, right, and I had gone to my little, I, I can't squat because I have a back problem, right, which I wanted to explain to him. While he was watching him squat, I think 1000 pounds. He was squatting 1000 pounds. So I'm over on the sled, right?

Cause I also want to tell you it's easier on my back. With a belt on, I, I would squat like you. I would, sir. I would, but my back is weak.

I've had surgery. Yeah, I've had surgery. Look at my scar. Yeah, so I put 3 plates on.

That's what, that's my max, right, on my sled, which is pathetic, and I know it. But again, I'm like, um, I, I, I have to because I have weak little legs. So 6 plates total, uh, 6 plates total, right? But then it's a little.

Too much. So I take 2 plates off. I go down to 2, right? But this is where I'm having a, a thing where I'm like, Don't be embarrassed, Richard.

Just keep working out, work out those legs, get that good butt. Just keep working, right? So I get up, I get finished, and I get up. I started like walking around like I had a really good workout.

So I'm sort of almost like a limp, yeah, like, wow, that's really sore. Yeah, like it's gonna be sore tomorrow. We did legs today, bro. You and me, we should go get some protein.

So, so wait. So at that moment, he looks at me and I get nervous. Because he's looking at me, I start shaking my hand like a gymnast, like, like I'm, like I'm loosening up extra chalk, yeah, yeah, yeah, like I'm loosening up my wrists for something, right? But while I was, while I was doing that, my thumb caught my headphones and violently ripped my headphones off of my face.

And it startled me. So he really did turn into a 15-year-old girl, and he walked over to me and he's like, Are you finished with that machine? He was like, Are you finished with the machine? Yes, yes, I am.

And I said, I imagine you want me to keep these two plates on. So, so I go over to the, I gotta do hamstrings. I don't know why. I just have to.

I don't usually do them, but I'm gonna finish this up so he sees that I don't just do one leg workout and leave the gym. So I go over to the hamstring machine and now I'm watching him. On the machine on the sled, on the sled that I was just on, I had 2 plates. He put on 77 on each side.

He put on 7 on each side. I didn't even know our gym had that many plates. Yeah, he went around the gym and took every available plate and put it on the sled. By the time we were leaving, uh, I looked over at him, uh, maybe once or twice just before I left.

I'm looking at the girls who, some girls are starting to stretch. I don't know, they're doing like thigh stretches and shit, but looking over in his direction at the same time. There was that one girl next to you on the treadmill. It would seem like, uh, she was just waiting for him to come over and say, hi, can I help you with your stretches.

Then I start talking to the guy who works in the gym. He's looking at him too because everybody's looking at him. You can't, you cannot. He is sweaty at this point because he's lifting 1000 pounds.

Of weight and I noticed that his white tank top got very, very wet and became see-through. It became like the winner of a male wet t-shirt contest. Yes, I wish I had seen that. Oh, you didn't see that.

And I was like, Oh, that's enough. I'm out of here. I need to know who he is though. I, I gotta find out because this is like the 3rd time we've, we've seen him.

He has to be an entertainer of some sort. No one looks like that and has a body like that and just happens to live. In Riviera, no, my new mission is to find out a, who are you and where do you come from, and 2, are you into having sex with people's wives? Maybe for OnlyFans, you know, I'm just gonna ask casually.

It's gonna be the second thing out of my mouth anyway. That is why we were running late today because you had to go. You forgot your phone. We got back and you're like, Oh, I left my phone at the gym.

I'm like, sure you did. You wanna go back and see Drago, whatever his name is. Oh, anyway, back on track. Oh God, yeah, it was really hard trying to work out to him next to him.

Were you staring at him? No, I was really trying to focus, but you couldn't, but I couldn't, so I would wait for him to sort of finish his set, and then I would start my set, but I was also on a timer, so I didn't really have a choice. You were wearing extra short shorts today. Like half of your ass was hanging out, and then another girl came in and her ass was hanging out, but she was super young.

I'm like she's got age on her side. Oh, you lost that contest, Eddie. Sorry, short shorts were great until the teenager came in. So now you're screwed.

You gotta leave. The next update will be we'll find out who this mysterious man is. I'll talk to him. I just, I don't know why you didn't talk to him today, because I don't like to talk to people in the gym when I'm working out, and I know that he is probably the same.

I gave him my personality trait. I projected it onto him like I'm going to project my body onto him as well. Well hello Lawrence. Mata arigato, Mr.

Rovato, what is the, uh, what is that song? Domo arigato Domo arigato. What does that mean? Did you just say see?

Yes, thank you. I travel fast, Richard. I'm in Elon Musk's underground tunnel. Oh my God, you're using so many languages.

What is maragarigato? I don't know. Thank you very much, honey. Did that sound like like you were listening to a recording?

That was really good. How are you, by the way? I'm great. How was the last time you heard or sang Mr.

Roboto? I, I actually just started it because our friend was like, Do you remember when you did this live at karaoke? That was fucking awesome. You like went on stage.

He turned around backwards, and then he spun around like a show. I was thinking, God, I must have been really drunk that night. I don't even remember you singing it. Uh, he might have been talking about someone else's wife.

So, uh, this weekend we had a little bit of a foursome. You have a black eye because of it. Well, it's not a black eye. It's a total black eye.

Everyone's like, what's happened to your eye? Richard, what the fuck? I told the guy at the gym the true story. You know, you didn't.

I know you did not. I said you realize sexual, and the teenager was standing was walking backwards on the treadmill to listen. She's like, you can say it in English, and I'm like, um, it's sexual, and she's like, Mhm. I was gonna say that girl is under.

Rage that you're telling a sex story to. So I didn't make it a sex story. I just said it was a girl. And she went in to kiss me and she was like, very excited and she headbutted me.

And she was like, Oh, see. And then I looked at her and I winked. You know, with my, with my black eye. We had been with this couple before, right?

And this is a story that I want to tell the listeners because this is a story about redemption. And growth. Well, it is about growth, and it's, it's a good story for people to hear, so they know that they don't have a pace. They don't have to go at any sort of limit, you know, you hear all the time, that's where you're say this all the time.

We're new. We just wanna take it slow. Well, that's OK, but your slow could be fast for someone else, and your fast could be slow for someone else for stop drinking. Quoting Letterkenny for someone else.

This was their pace. Now their pace, when did we meet them? 4 years ago. 4 years ago, and I think we were their first experience.

It was an amazing experience. This is again does fall in the lines of doing bad things to good people. I know this is when we were. Working at that hotel we had met them and they'd taken the the workshop we were still able to really play with whoever we wanted to we wound up having a thing with them, right?

And they were like, we want our first experience to be with you and we said, all right, we will allow that. You also both seem to be really hot. This won't be that hard for us. So we saw them one more time.

I think we were gonna probably play with them again, and he got sick. I think that was like 2 years ago or something like that. 4 years later they're like, Hey, we're coming to Mexico. We're gonna hang out for a while.

We'd love to see you guys again. And we're like, Name the place. We will be there, you know, let's just have a really good time. And I, you didn't even know if they were in the lifestyle.

Yeah, I kept telling you that. I'm like, you were asking me what. To bring to pack and I'm like, honey, I don't even think they're really the lifestyle because our experience I felt like was something that was their limit like that was enough for them. Well, they did.

They had the experience. It was not a hard uh swap situation, but they had the experience. We played with them and gave them really anything they wanted to do. She had rules and she's like, I wanna make sure to not do this.

I wanna make sure to not do that and they had an amazing time. And they said, you know, this was great. If it ends like this and we never do anything again, that's fine. So I had assumed that they had sort of gone into a world of the lifestyle.

You, you thought, no, the opposite, yeah, we got down there, I find out they did, but they have only been with one other couple. They'd only played in those four years with one other couple, and for them, and soft and soft swap, and that was fine, but they said, Richard, Lauren, uh, we want you to break our virginity. We want to have actual sex and we want it to be with you too. I, I think it's, it's because we're so forgettable.

Like we're, we're like the safe camp. I don't understand what it is. Like why do people wanna have sex with us? But we, we do have like we did really have an awesome.

Connection with them. Like, I forgot how easy they were to be around. They're just so sexy. And it was just a really fun time.

But I always blows my mind when people do that. It makes me laugh. Yeah, so here's, so they decided, yeah, we want, we want to have sex. Do we pretend to be a gas?

I said, what? How could we? All right. Oh, here's the condoms in the lube.

We I didn't. I forgot the lube actually, which was part of like my trouble. So she still had some rules. She has some very specific rules with some of them thinned out a bit.

He's a little more like me. Like his, his libido is a little more like me. He's just like, you know, if I can do it once a day, great, uh, but twice, uh, it's gonna be a little hard. 3 times is not gonna happen because if he comes, he's dumb, which I'm.

Kind of the same way, right, for sure, so I have this problem with she's one of these gals that I would describe as like a walking orgasm when she starts to have an orgasm, it just doesn't stop. It just doesn't stop. angers me a bit. I gotta be honest, yeah, but I wouldn't want you to, to, to be like that that would be too much for me.

I mean, it's great to, to be with for a night, but I'd be exhausted. So she's one of the, he's like you and she's like not the, the complete opposite of me where she just comes and I can have 11 orgasms and she's one of those people who wants to go for a really, really long time. Like she could, she could probably have like a 9 hour sex session and then she's like, don't come yet, honey. Don't come yet.

And she kept saying it to me too, don't you fucking come. Don't come because for her she's like, it's over. Everyone goes to sleep and I'm still wired and I'm still wired and horny so we did the sex with them. She had a very, very specific fantasy in her head.

She wanted him to place me inside of her, which I thought that's a hot fantasy to have. Maybe that was her way of sort of staying connected to him in a way. I was like, yeah, listen, I don't care who grabs as long as you. Grab it nicely, but I did say at that point I was like, listen, I know in your head there's one way you're seeing it, but me, uh, with all of my expertise, I'm thinking it's gonna work out differently because there's a condom problem.

There's a time limit. Like what's the we had this whole conversation about how I need to have them ready at all times. You're like, condom now it's opening and I'm still drinking. Off and clowning down and this does not play out like porn usually so you have to sort of be prepared if you want that fantasy you have to think about the logical reality of that fantasy, how it's gonna play out, what can happen.

Guys have to stay hard. You can't like take forever and be like, all right, now come over here. All right, now place it now I'm gonna place now you do that. It's like, well, now, now I don't have a heart on it anymore, so.

I, we have to start from scratch and I hate wasting condoms. By the way, I wanna say that, uh, one of the things that took my attention when he was gonna have sex with you, I handed him a non-latex condom because you have a, uh, a latex allergy. Yeah, it's like a whole 2-3 day thing where you have to do it's annoying and it's just the thing. Your vagina hurts for, for a while afterwards, mistakenly.

I didn't say that before we had started like, hey, it's important. It's important that you use my condoms. I don't know what kind you have, but it's important that you use mine. So I tossed my condoms.

I thought, well, there's no problem with that. But he went off and got his own condoms. Now this is because his gargantuan cock, right? I thought we need to buy a supply of different sizes.

We need different sizes for this because then I'm like, Oh yeah, why would I think. That that condom would fit on that penis, that would be ridiculous. It'd be like the crop top, yeah, yeah, yeah, same thing. Uh, here I am in a situation.

A guy with a massive cock makes me feel great. I started to go into my head a little bit like this sucks, but I did notice, and he had those magnum extra, extra large, right, and I started to lose my. Hard on because, well, I'll tell you why, because the packaging, right, if you ever look at them, they put so much extra packaging around the actual condom. So like a fucking file folder, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They make the actual package larger. I mean, the condom is bigger, but the package is like 3 times the size. It's like an envelope. It was definitely a bigger package.

I'm laughing so hard because I noticed this, and I'm staring at it. I'm trying to be sexy, but I'm like, Well, I ain't that fucked up. They don't gotta put extra material on it to make me feel even worse, do they? Why don't you put a handle on it?

Carry it around like a fucking briefcase, dicks. We all had, we all had sex. Oh God. Oh mercy, and she wanted to keep going.

She really did. But anyway, I did. I lost my heart on, I guess, about 80% through because I looked up and you had, I'm like, what the fuck happened to your eye? He had like this black eye, and I'm just thinking like, oh, my mascara is running because, you know, no, and I forgot lube and lube is important to you because.

Even with the non-latex condoms, it dries you out a bit, so you just sort of need that lube to keep that little extra bit, right? Yeah, I don't know what's up with my lubrication, but I am, I don't think you're that different really like because I get wet and dry, wet and dry, wet and dry. Like I don't just stay wet for 23 hours. I don't, I don't know how long, uh.

A normal woman stays wet. Yeah, I mean we've met all different types, right? We've met types that are like, I'm wet all day long and I'm like, oh brushing my teeth and I'm wet. Oh my god, I wanna fuck you.

That makes me horny just thinking about that like the thought of just taking a woman and bending her over like while she's pumping gas or whatever she's doing at that moment just so hot to me. Oh, I'm getting the milk. Oh, now you're getting fucked. You're in my milk checking for mail.

Oh, I'm getting. That'd be awesome. It's kind of it's kind of a fantasy of mine. I like it.

I mean, my fantasy. I know yours is a house of mirrors with a bunch of men. My fantasy is women, uh, lying down waiting for me playing with themselves all soaking wet, and then, and they just lie there. They're not allowed to talk to me.

I mean they can say dirty things to me if they want they can say complimentary things to me, but they can't say like. Come over here, Richard, and start a fight with the other bitches. I don't need that. I don't need drama.

No, I just need you all lying there. I gotta try out all your holes, but they're all ready and they're all, uh, they're whimpering a little bit, you know what I mean, like puppies that need the milk from the teat. I'll get to you, sister. Just stop whining.

There you go. Oh yeah, you like that? Uh-huh. Alright, I'll be back to you in a little bit.

Yeah, that'd be cool. Just a room full of whores. Hall of Mirrors room of horrors. That would be pretty fun.

I feel like I could make your fantasy happen way faster than my fantasy will ever happen. Home Depot. I have fantasies, right? Trip to Home Depot, get a bunch of mirrors, get a room.

I could throw a stone and hit a bunch of guys. They're like, What do I gotta do? I just fucked my wife in a room full of mirrors. If Smash cut to me asking the women, they're like on Craigslist.

The women are like, You want me to what now? And you want me to whine a little bit. And you're not paying me. You can go fuck yourself.

That's what you can do. So I don't think my fantasy is going to come true. But yeah, she was one of those people who could have kept going on and on and on and on. What I loved about her, she was a natural director and I, I don't know if that comes from her just she's so sexual and so horny.

She knew exactly what she wanted and she had these fantasies and she wanted to live them out and she had. No qualms about saying I want you over here and I want to see you suck this cock with me. You get behind her. You go down on her.

Love that so much and I want to adopt that more. She had a list in her head and she was like, I'm gonna accomplish these things. I want to see them play out for better or worse. She was no, and she did them and she was like, one by one.

She's like, now I want. And then I got to the point where I was even asking her. What do you want to see next? What do you wanna do next?

What do you wanna do next? And as long as you can sort of time it correctly, that's really great because most of the time we're all like, I don't know what I'm doing. What do we do next? I'll go over to that section over there.

I'll crawl onto this side of the bed. I enjoyed their connection always. I, I enjoy being with people who are really connected to each other and giving such a safe space, and I didn't have the. Hard to tell them I had a latex allergy.

I was like, you know what, fuck it. And I even texted. I told, I texted her. I was like, she's like, Oh, and I'm so, so sorry about that again.

And I was like, you know what, it wasn't worth it for me because I didn't want to ruin the momentum and the mood. Well, well, your vagina is gonna hurt tomorrow because I you'll sacrifice sex with me. Well, it's been 4 years, right? You've just asked us to do this thing, and we're gonna stop by the time.

His gigantic penis gets a condom on and you're be like, oh, here's this thing that would be horrible, right? Horrible. Who would have the nerve to do that? And I forgot the lube, so there was just a lot and you got a black eye, so there's a lot that was happening, but the end of the story is we impregnated both of them.

So we'll be, uh, 9 months, have a bundle of joy that we'll all share together in a happy little family. So that's it. But that is a story. And again they ended that one again.

Hey, if you're the only two we ever have sex with, we're, we're fine with that too. We had said we'll see you in 2025. They are a classic example for those of you out there who are getting started or you're in the middle of it or whatever you're doing. There's no right time.

There's no wrong time. You take it at your own pace, do whatever you wanna do. Don't force it. Don't feel like you.

Have to cross some sort of threshold by a certain point or you know you're not keeping up with everybody, do it at your own pace. That is something that is always gonna happen if you stay in this lifestyle. Sometimes you, you feel like you'll be in the lifestyle and sometimes you feel like, no, I'm not really in the lifestyle right now, and then you'll be like, Oh, I'm gonna get back in the lifestyle right now. That's OK.

That's all, that's all normal, you know. It's, it's, it's what it is. It's extracurricular. It is.

Again, it is not a lifestyle. It is actually a hobby, so get used to that. It's not like you have to live it as a lifestyle. If there is anybody else out there who's getting started and does not have a gigantic cock that can fit into our non-latex condoms, please give us a call and we too will have sex with you.

It also sort of brings us to that, that next concept which was to have a via party for. People who are just getting into are in it but haven't really done much and they're just sort of that new fresh new mentality and yeah having a a party here, a villa party here where everyone is new, every couple is new, very, very limited amount of experience. I think that we would be able to facilitate that well why not have a party right where everybody feels. Like that, no pressure, and we'll do it here in in Mexico, uh, again, only beginners only limited amount of sexual activity with others we will have to verify that through you with your friends and your family so just give us a number to call and we'll interview them 11 at a time.

Hi, this is Richard. I'm calling from room 77 talking about your daughter. Uh, how many sexual partners has she had? If that's something that, uh, first-timers are interested in, uh, call me.

It's just a thought we had. We're always trying to think of new things and new ways to do stuff, and, and that was something we came up with. Meanwhile, we will be in this closet slash studio slash storage room next to my power tools. That's my drill right there, right next to me, and, uh, we're here to help.

So reach out and touch someone. No one under 40 got that joke. That one. I'll talk to you later, Lauren.

I'm gonna stay in the closet, you, uh, dirty slut. All right, Lauren, that's gonna almost wrap it up for us. Who are the other batch of names that are responsible for the second half of this show? We have Preston, Danny, Eric, Mr.

and Mrs. Venom, John and Rachel, David, Jordan, DDLSP, Keenan, Joe, Sue, Dave, Sato, that. One low wife Tony Cat, Jed, Curious rhino, JM Carl B, and Seth. All right, remember what I said about those other patrons that we said before that were awesome.

These are actually the best. They were a tiny bit newer. These are because they're newer, new car smell. They smell better.

They do. Before we talk about, uh, bikini addiction, talking about what we're addicted to this month, Lauren, really quickly, what are you addicted to? And I say quickly because your stuff that you're addicted to is usually random and sounds a little crazy. What are you addicted to?

Putting my rice cakes in the microwave for 30 seconds. This is what I mean. It's so good. You put your rice cakes in the microwave for 30 seconds, and it's like, oh my God, is it popcorn or a rice cake?

I don't know. It's the same. It tastes like nothing whether you microwave it or not. No, it tastes just a little bit better when you microwave it.

All right, so you've been doing this, microwaving your rice cakes. Yeah. All right. It's also a sexual innuendo.

I have been addicted to hurricane shutters. This is true, and I know what to blame too. When I was a kid, there's only a few toys that I could vividly remember playing with. One of the toys I, I would always play with was a doll house.

My parents and brothers and sisters, they would always make fun of me because I always played with the dollhouse. Yeah, but that makes sense. You like architecture, you know. I, I was not a three year old prodigy child.

Well, this is a great floor plan. That's not what was happening. No. What I would do, I remember that toy vividly, that, and I also remember a Fisher Price, uh, speedboat.

It was like a pontoon boat and it was green. It was, uh, in the tub, yeah, I used to bring it in the tub. Yeah, it, it would float. But anyway, this dollhouse, what I would do is I would, it was my sister's dollhouse, and I would put my cars in there.

It was a big garage, but the thing that really, really made. That interesting to me, it had a little garage door on it that you would open and close, and that was my favorite part is I would put the cars in and I would open the door and then I put the door down, right? And ever since then, I mean, you're talking like 4 or 5 years old. That's, that's as far back as I can remember, but since then and until now I am obsessed with gates, doors, and anything that will shut on its own like folding doors.

like a hurricane shutter every week I come to you with a new invention. I'm like, hey, I invented a new kind of door, right? And they close by themselves. We have hurricane shutters here, but they don't work.

And anything that has a button that doesn't work drives me nuts. So I need to figure out how I'm gonna make those go down, up and down, like my little dollhouse when I was a kid. Anyway, that's what I'm addicted to. Thank you, Richard.

Mine made me bad, but yours is like, at least mine makes psychological sense. All right, tell everybody about Bikini Addiction. If you want to support Bikini Addiction, you could get one for free and support us in books of travel for 5 nights or head over to their website bikiniadddiction.com and use promo code room 77 to get 10% off free shipping in the US and support us. Yeah, the bikinis look really, really good.

They have some new patterns come out that I think we're not supposed to talk about, but, oh well, I know I actually gently leaked it on Facebook. You did, yeah, go take a look at them on wherever Lauren posts photos of herself. I had to go get ready for my, oh, you have an OnlyFans shoot tonight. Yeah, I have an OnlyFans.

Are you excited about that? Yeah, I'm a little nervous. Yeah, you should be. She's a really hot, hot female.

I know I haven't showered yet. Well, I would if I were you. She's not having sex with me. Let's be honest.

You get to a point in your life where you're like, why am I gonna shower? She's gonna I'm not gonna have sex with you. This person, she might as well just see me like shit because it doesn't make a difference. I could look my best.

She's still not gonna fuck me. That's really funny. I'm looking forward to you guys, uh, doing girly stuff together, pillow fights, whatever, whatever you're doing. I think we'll start with that just to for OnlyFans.

Yeah, it'd be really fun. So anyway, anyway, I have to go put makeup on. Yeah, also go into the bedroom, put away all my embarrassing stuff, creams, gels. I don't have time for that diaper rash, medicine, mouth guard.

My toe separators split, put it, put it all away. I will change into something that shows off my arms. I'll try a little bit. All right, bye everyone.

Bye. And that about does it for us. For more information, visit us at room 77life.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77.

We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out. Never never. Like a flame in a now.