Ep. 83: Getting (almost) Everything Out of Soft Swap

In this episode we move to a new semi-temporary location. We'll talk about why we're late slash short slash sorry listener. We're talking about Lauren's sex chat with strangers while using her taboo toy vibrator and what new turn on we discovered. You're gonna hear about not having sex with another couple, and none of you are gonna hear coming.

Which you don't give a fuck. All right, Lauren, We have once again started again. And we're broadcasting from yet, yet another brand new studio, which is different from the brand new studio we were supposed to be broadcasting from. Because it has been totally 39 days and 39 nights of rain here in Cancun, biblical record.

Uh, we've had quite the run here, so we wanted to actually talk to our listener. Listener, gather up close to the a.m. dial. Um, we've had a rough go of it this month, sort of a major disaster, but not a major disaster, but a minor disaster between a minor and major disaster.

I don't know how what it would be on an insurance claim form. But I wanted to say a special thanks to our patreons who stepped up and really made a huge difference this month, and that is Lemony, Carl, Piccolo, Doc, and Trisome. Yeah, thank you for reaching out and giving us assistance. We really, really appreciate it.

It meant the world to us. Guys, we can't thank you enough. So we're gonna need a little bit. Of Grace, because uh this episode may be a little bit short.

So we don't have a lot of time to talk about all the things that we wanted to talk about on this particular episode, because there were some fun things and then there were some really, really important things that we needed the listener to hear for their own good, sort of a PSA. But had nothing to do with your prostate. Is that a PSA? I don't know.

It starts with a P. Anyway, back on topic, uh, what we're gonna be talking about specifically is soft swaps. Soft swaps. We all know what they are.

You don't have to be a full swap to have a good time. Oh no, everybody within our generation. Knows exactly what we're singing and then the people who are like, did he just make that up? Um, thank you for listening youngsters.

Um, but yeah, soft swaps, all the kids are doing it. Well, not the kids. That would be a different podcast somewhere on the dark web. But no, I mean, we're just, I think we're just trying to make it cool because we did it recently and we do what we always do, which is whatever we're doing, we want to make that sound cool because, you know, yeah, everyone's doing it, we're doing it, yeah, everyone's doing it.

That's what we should be too. We don't mind it. We actually don't mind, which we'll get to later. We don't mind doing soft, sloppy sex things at all.

I don't mind it at all. I like it. I really enjoy it. Yeah, I do too.

I don't mind just, I don't even mind just masturbating next to people, really. Yeah, we all know that Richard. I know that's an even softer sex. What's softer than soft swat like marshmallow sex.

Maybe we can make that a thing, you know who masturbates a lot is our monkeys, so we could call that like marshmallow swap or monkey swap. Monkey swap. If we could get that going and then somewhere within the next year and we just hear in a crowd somewhere, are you guys into monkey swapping or are we like, we did that, Lauren. That that would be our yada yada yada.

Sometimes our life is just a little bit amusing, so we wanted to share a little bit about our amusing Mexican life. Um, maybe we will infuse some of the soft swapping into our vanilla life so that we can just keep the vibe going throughout, you know what I mean? Just to, just to thread the needle. That's a great analogy.

Give it context. It took a while. After the move into our new house slash office slash studio slash uh event storage event storage, we had to change out an air conditioner, right? If you want to be exact, we had to kind of soft swap air conditioners.

There you go. I already did it almost, almost checked that box. And this often happens in Mexico. You can't laugh.

It's so funny. Well, where you hire a professional, and you, you believe that they really know what they're doing. They convinced me every time, not unlike a Quentin Tarantino movie. I'm going to jump all the way to the end here and then I'm going to come all the way back.

Brilliant. It took a total of 8 days and biblical, a lot of biblical references. At some points, this person was here until 10 o'clock at night. At some points he was here till 10 o'clock at night.

Late enough for a soft swap. Yes, he didn't seem to be into that show. Not interested. Now I'll just say this about the air conditioning repair man.

If I have to explain to the air conditioner tech person, when you set the air conditioner to 70 degrees, that does not mean that the air that's coming out of the air conditioner is in fact 70 degrees. If I have to explain that. To one more air conditioner technician. Because the first time you put it in, it was, it was, it was blowing out hot air and I'm like this isn't right, man.

I said, and I have this thermometer. I was like I put it up there, it was blowing out about it was Celsius, but it was blowing out at about 75 degrees and he's like, well yeah, that's what it set out. I'm like, no, no, no, that's, that's not how this works. He took his turkey baster thermometer and stuck it up there and he's like, I don't have the thermometer.

I left it in my office. You're like, just use this one. Yeah, I, I mean, every day it was like, hey man, you have a wrench I can borrow? Uh, you got a hammer.

You got a screwdriver I can borrow? Can you drive me, you got any zip ties? I mean. Oh hey, I need a part.

I need you to go to the store and get it for me. You're like, I think I work for you now. Yeah, now that we work together, you think we could bang out this air conditioning repairman soft swap fantasy I have? Uh, you just have to do the oral part.

This is a soft swap. You're gonna be the oral end. After he fixes it, we take all of our equipment and we move it down, and we finally set up. I mean, we put the mics out, everything was ready.

One morning I get up at like 6 o'clock in the morning and I'm gonna work on some photos that we have to do for the event. It's Been raining now for a few days, but I'm fine because I have an air conditioner and a lovely office. So I'm walking down the stairs and I look out the window and I see this really huge puddle. I say puddle, but it looked like a pond.

And I noticed that the puddle pond is kind of attached to the house. Well, that's odd. That looks like it would come right into the house. I looked down the stairs and I see something blinking, whether it was like an LED or I know what it was.

Oh, what was it? The landlord has kids and it's one of those little rings, that jelly ring, and it has a little blinky battery in it and a lot of people wore them to the glow parties and stuff. That's what it was. These little kids go to raves.

That's awesome, but there's. Fingers, I don't know. It doesn't matter what my brain immediately does is that thing turned on. There's water, so I start slowly walking down the stairs.

I turn and I look, and there's like 3 to 4 inches of water everywhere in the brand new office, in the brand new office that we just set up. That was the beginning of our hell. So we're a little bit behind. We lost equipment.

We lost furniture. We lost our dog. He floated away. Poor Muchacho.

I don't know where he is, but I hope he's OK. Muchacho's fine. He's sitting here sleeping right below us, uh, acting as a sound blanket. Moved everything back upstairs.

What was our wonderful, lovely office slash studio is now moved into our dining room. We are so professional. No dining room table. The lower level is literally dead to us.

There's nothing, there's nothing down there. Nothing. I didn't even go down there. Not that I'm saying that anybody's guilty for this, the architect, uh.

We call the landlord and we're like, hey man, we gotta tell you that your place is flooded, dude. Like, you know, you just, you have to know. I don't know who to call, but I'm gonna call the architect who built the place. He lives down the way and he's gonna come right over in Mexico, right over, right over is literally 4 hours from, from when they say it, and we know this.

I actually don't know what an architect's gonna do in this situation, right? It's not, it's not the right profession I would have heard like. You know, cleanup crew, even a plumber would have been closer to To something I would have wanted to hear the architect comes over. He's doing cat drawing.

I'm gonna redesign this. It's not helping the water that's in my place. Our shit's getting wet. So he, he rolls over and I should have taken this as a red flag.

He gets out of the car. He only speaks Spanish, but the first thing he says to me is, this is not my fault. It is the neighborhood's fault, not. I don't wanna call you defensive.

I don't wanna call you guilty. Oh God. But he immediately starts blaming the design of the neighborhood. I'm like, OK, maybe they are, but we still have water in the, in the house and I was blaming Mother Nature.

He pulls out his drawings. Look, look at the slope.0 degree. I have a drain right here approved by the city. OK, look, I'm not blaming you.

It's also not working, so. Who's at fault. He had one job because we had asked him, we were like, can he bring a squeegee? He said he will absolutely bring a squeegee.

That was his job. He didn't bring a squeegee. I have a T square. From my iPad.

I can do cat drawing. I have a render of what it looks like drying. So we didn't get our squeegee or our architect soft swaps fantasy. I know we ruined our chance.

Our oops, that's not the album I wanted to show you, Mr. Architect. I'm so embarrassed. Oh, that's not my Pinterest board.

What is? Don't look. Stop looking. Stop looking.

It's nude. While I make this episode much longer, um, soft swaps, soft swaps. We had a hookup that was a soft swap hookup. It is a term that is used often, usually, but not always with beginners, and we just did a poll in our our Patreon Telegram group.

What is your definition of soft swap? Let me look up the results because I didn't even see the results. Oh, I did. You know what they are?

Yeah, it was like 86% C choice C. OK, so we, the choices. Were a only the girls play, b only kissing and touching, no penetration of the other partner, or C, all of the above plus oral, but still no penetration of the other partner and it came out like 80 high 80% of C. Yeah, take a break.

We enjoy it and we had a good experience. So yeah, I have different reasons for, for enjoying it. We had had this couple who was coming to the desire. Resorts, which if you want to book Desire resorts, please book through Lauren, use our link and support Room 77.

If you're thinking about going, go to Lauren Reese on Facebook and reach out or just email us. This couple had had reached out and they were going to desire. They had ordered shivers, Shivers, the THC gummy. It's your friend is what it is.

It is. It's a female enhancement that we had been talking about that we take, uh, they make it for both sexes. It's been doing really great. Great.

A lot of people really, really love it. If you want to see what everyone's loving on, go to shivers.store, use our promo code R77 and get 10% off. They ship worldwide. They didn't actually want to carry it into the country.

They were a little wary of doing that. So we're like, well, we'll get it and bring it to you. Yeah, because we had to go back to the states. So I was like, well, first I called her a pussy bitch, and I was like, but I'll order it, send it to, uh, Richard's brother's house, and I'll pick it up and I'll, I'll bring it over the border.

For you, we don't mind muling. Yeah, and it's not illegal, by the way, while we were muling those gummies, I had 6 kg of heroin strapped to my strapped to my torso. So it was the least thing cash. I wasn't even worried about that.

Yeah, so she, she bought them. I muled them in, and I was like, I'll just, when you guys get here, I'll come drop them at the hotel for you. So I decided to, to go with you. I was like, I'll go with you to meet these people.

First of all, they're so super cute, kind of blew me away cute. Whack it like whacked me in the face. I was like, these two are hot. I know I was like, wow.

And because I'm so awkward in person, sometimes I just literally just jumped in his arms. I don't know what I was doing. I literally like climbed him because he's tall and he's beautiful. I just put my arms up on his shoulders and then I just jumped and wrapped my legs around him like a monkey.

She started laughing so hard and she was like, I have to take a picture of this. So he's really tall, really sexy, really manly, and she's really, she's kind of petite and really cute, so cute, beautiful eyes, beautiful smile. Immediately I'm like, we are way too busy to try to hook up with these people like at this time living in one house and we have to move, I think 2 days after we're dropping this off. In fact, this is the first and only couple where we've met them in one house and the play date was in a completely separate house.

That's so funny. I think we wound up, we wound up chatting with them. They're like, Oh, we're here for like 8 days or something like, Oh, they had a long trip and we're like, All right, well, you know, if you want to help us move or unpack boxes, blah blah blah, that sort of thing. But we were like, we're, we're really tired.

But they came, they brought us presents, really sweet, and they brought us muchia presents. They brought muchchacho, the loudest, squeakiest, uh, penis dog toy. It's so giant. It's just a giant penis dog toy, and when I tell you it, it was loud and obnoxious, that's an understatement and.

It was a great gift, but what made it bad is how much muchchacho loved that cock, and you, you love to egg it on too. I get that cock muchchacho. You get that cock, and, and they already got shivers, so I'm like, well, they're already lubed up a little bit in that department. You want to try those shivers out on us?

Let's do it. We really weren't going to do anything, but you and I are both like, I don't know. I really don't want to pass this one up. Like, do you think you can ride?

Without even telling you, I was like, I'm gonna make time for this. And we don't have any time for this, but I'm going to make time for this because I really, really like them. Let's make this happen. I don't know how we're going to make it happen, but let's make this happen.

They text out, they're like made a comment about coming over. Are you sure? And they were like, yeah, we're sure. And we're like, OK, twist our arms.

They said, but we want to make sure that you guys know we're not very experienced. We're relatively new, and we are only soft swap. And immediately we were like, we blocked them. We were like, mute chat, bam.

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And we were like, Oh my God, I'm so glad that you said something. And honestly, it doesn't matter to us. We're fine with that. We then once we actually got them over here, we had a whole conversation about why they had to tell us and what was going on at Desire when they would finally reveal or people would ask directly or something.

They had been talking to people, great chemistry. And as soon as the term soft swap would come up, it was like 180 and people. beeline out of the jacuzzi and they're just like, see you later. And they're like, what happened?

I don't understand why we're keep getting this response. And we've encountered that it's like a, I will not invest any more time into you if I'm not getting exactly what I want, because I'm not investing in the stock. I find it odd, but I mean, you know, everyone wants what they want. And if you just want to stick it in another hole and that's your goal, maybe it was people's last night at the.

The hotel and they're just like, but lucky they found us, huh? We have full swaps that wind up being soft swaps or people don't realize it, yeah, or sometimes the full swap only winds up being a full swap for about 60 to 90 seconds. It happens sometimes, not all the time, or one couple stopped doing it and the other one isn't. It's just, it doesn't always end up like, and 321, switch partners and penetrate.

I wish it did go like 321, and penetrate. It sounds like a Fosse number. 3, 25, 678 penetrate. That number was amazing.

I don't know how they got those guys to do jazz fingers and jazz penis at the same time. It's mesmerizing. That's what made me squirt. They put that on the poster.

So we have this, this little pool up on our roof for anyone who wants to come and visit us here in Mexico. We have this, uh, stays pretty warm. We hadn't been in it yet because we had only been here for a short period of time. So we said, if you're into it, obviously you're OK with being naked.

You're a desire. Uh, we could all, I said in the chat, bring something to get naked in. So it doesn't even make sense. That's why it's funny.

We came here and we talked for a little while, then we, we went upstairs and talked more. We got into the pool. Richard got a little bit cold because of the breeze. We went into our air conditioned room, got naked, got naked.

I don't know if she took more shivers or you took more gummies. Did you take more gummies? I did. I just, you know me, I'm like, I'm just gonna do one more half because I wasn't feeling super great and so I decided that THC would help me feel better.

And pain. I was getting like body pains. I didn't know I was actually getting, I was really getting sick and I didn't, you didn't know you're getting sick, sick. I didn't know I was getting sick, but I took that and I was like, woo, I'm ready.

Shivers fixes everything. shivers on the shelves now at CVS. It's right under cough drops. But I didn't know I was coming down.

We'll get to that later. I'm a trooper. This is why you are the union leader of swingers. Well, I wanted that sensation.

Like I love touch and so I was like, I'm just gonna do one more half. I got the oil and we started with a massage. We were like, we'll give you, this is like a soft, swappy as it can get, give you a taste of what the art of touch was back in the day. As always, it starts off as a six-handed massage, but it usually ends pretty quickly, um.

But yeah, that's how I got started and it was, um, again for me, it was all really, really fun and really, really hot. I really enjoy having fun with you and and watching you in every capacity with, with other people. It was going and going and going and then I sort of noticed something was going on with him. Did you notice?

Yeah. Well, I noticed more her trying extra hard to like where it's like, let me blow him a little more, let me blow him a little harder. I did, I just sensed an uncomfortableness, but I wasn't really sure what was happening, um, because they're new, so I was just like, oh, I don't know. I start looking over and I'm actually telling you, don't even go over there like, like leave them alone because I can tell he's having trouble with.

With his dick. This is something that I have complete empathy for. Like, I start to, I want to do everything I can to, to help. And for me, a lot of one of the biggest mistakes people can make when they're in this situation is to start drawing more attention to it can sometimes, most of the times, it makes it even worse.

Yeah, so let the, you said, let them be together and there's like, that's their his safe partner like that. Let, let them do their thing and let him get a hold of himself. Uh, you don't shake the person and go, I think I can fix this problem because that's what most women do. And I go, You're gonna make it worse.

You're, you're, you're making me so uncomfortable now that my soft cock is in your mouth, and now all I can think about is my soft cock in your mouth and I'm flop sweating. Before, at least I wasn't flop sweating. Now it's worse. Oh, you guys have it so hard, no pun intended.

I love a good pun. Now here's the thing, I tell this story because it's so ironic. They tell us this story afterwards. This is what happened while they were at Desire the day before.

Apparently they were sitting in the, the jacuzzi area and they were having a talk about. Trimix. The rimix is obviously the shot that you put inside of your body and it gets you hard, and I do it a lot more than I thought I would when I first started doing it. I was like, uh, I only, yeah, I only use this when I really need it and now I'm like, I really need it always.

And you say I'm the addict. hm, so I would say you're an addict. AA says you're an addict. You say it when you stand up after eating after you introduce yourself.

So, uh, they're at the jacuzzi and someone's talking about Trimix to him and apparently he made a big deal about saying I don't use it. I don't barely use Viagra. I don't need it and I will never ever inject myself with Trimix ever. It will never ever happen.

Cut to back in our bedroom. So they're trying for a good 7 to 10 minutes or so and then he stands up and he comes over to my side of the bed. He sort of ducks down close to me and he goes, Hey, do you have anything that could help me out? And I said, I got everything.

What do you need? I love it. It sounds like it's like he's going to a guy with a raincoat on New York City street. I mean, what do you got?

If I could be a hard-on drug dealer, it'd be amazing. I mean, do you, do you, it'd be awesome. Do you, what would your cartel name be if you were the for the hard-ons? Great question.

The Hammer. The Hammers. What, what gang are you in? We're the East Side Hammers.

Yeah, I don't know. Diamond rich. Diamonds are hard. I guess it's not as cool if you have to explain it.

That's, that's what I say. We gotta keep it low. They call me diamond rich because diamonds are hard. Do you get it?

Doesn't, doesn't hit as hard. So you're like, Yeah, I got, I got it. What do you need? Whatever you need.

You need pills. Do you need the shot? What, what do you want to do? And then he's like, How fast?

You turn around and go and scream. You are not injecting him with Trimix. And I go, Why not? Because I see you grabbing a little bag.

No, I didn't yet. I, I said, well, because I said to him, I was like, Do you want to do Trimix? And he's like, OK. Like he said it softly, and you were like, you are not injecting him with Trimix.

And that's sort of how the story came out that they were like, Well, this is quite ironic. So I said, Are you OK with this? I was like, I have the antidote. This is, this is all gonna be OK.

Step into my office. Doctor Rich says it'll all be OK. I put on my gloves. I didn't wear gloves, um, but I did.

I sterilized everything. I brought him downstairs. We did the procedure and, uh, so he was like, How does this work? I felt a lot like a doctor.

I wish I had a lab coat. I'm gonna get you one. I'll get you one. I think it was, it was cool.

I mean, I wish I had video of it too. Naked guys just like, well, I'm doing this fully erect, right? Because you're already injected, right? And uh I was like, I'm just going to inject right here, you know, just do this and like milk it like a cow and you should be up and going in a, in a few minutes.

I said, I even said to him, I was like, it's going to take a little bit, like maybe 4 minutes or so. So do you want to sit in the waiting room. I go back. I have some material you can look at that may help.

He's like a water. I know, but I did say to him, I was like, Let's waste a little time down here because I don't want you to go back up there and jump back into things and think that it's not working. Get in, get in your head again. So I was like, so let's waste a little time down here, maybe 2 minutes or so, get a drink of water.

Do you want a snack? Do you want anything to eat? Um. Meanwhile, y'all are together.

She's up there telling me the story about the jacuzzi because none of you guys didn't know it, but, and I didn't know it. And that's when she's telling me the story and I am laughing so hard. She's like, you don't understand what happened yesterday in the jacuzzi. I'm like, what?

Well, he's like, well, I figured if anybody would help me out, I guess it would be you. I mean, I'm sure you have everything. I'm like, I do. So we give it enough time we go back up there.

You guys are in the bed like laughing and cuddling and doing whatever and uh and so we just start to go back at it and within a minute or two he was really, really hard. I mean so much to the point that like a minute she was like, well he really fixed you up. That's what I remember she said. I love that they're so funny.

Well, he really fixed you up, didn't he? It's an amazing feeling with that Trimix because you're just like, you're so rock hard. So then we spent a good 12 hours just, you know, fooling around and, and having a really good time and fucking next week. Fucking next to each other and fucking one another and it went in like two sections.

Now you were fading fast. I was so you had said earlier in the night, I think I might be getting sick and I said to you, no you are not. Shut up. I love you and I care about you.

Shut up with that sick talk. And I was like, OK, I don't know how long I'm gonna last. I'm gonna go back downstairs. I'm gonna we'll do a little re up and I'm gonna come back up.

Woo wee. I came back up and we ended up in another pile again. He was fucking her. We'll be right back.

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Please go over to room 77life.com and become a member and a jockstrap. I went underneath him. He was like on his back and he was, she was riding him reverse cowgirl, I think. I went underneath him like I was rescuing him as if I was a lifeguard.

So I was underneath him. He was laying in my lap, having his entire body weight on me feeling him. Like, sort of fuck her as she was riding him reverse cowgirl. It was almost as if I was fucking her through his penis.

That's how connected the three of us were. And you're right. I was in the next room. You were making sandwiches, and I had other patients.

And, so Pat stops for a second, you know, again, I'm, I'm starting to fade. It's, it's already been like another 45 minutes, and I'm just like, so that was one of those stop points. I kind of look at you and I'm like, like ready to be done. You're like, All right, well, who's come yet?

Yeah, and I look at you and I'm like, I don't care. I need to come. So we had come to this consensus somewhere. We were like, Well, someone should come.

One of the guys should, should come, yeah, and I. I had elected myself. I was like, well, I can come. I think, I think I can come.

I don't think that he had given an indication that he could come. I don't know, or we had given the indication that we're gonna come together. I, I can't quite remember, but I think there was a plan where we were gonna come together. So, um, I'm on the bed and I'm stroking myself, getting myself ready to come in whatever, uh, position the ending come position will be.

Me, I'm just working myself up to that, right? So the position you were just talking about, she's on top of him and they're fucking and I'm, I'm off to the side just stroking myself like Special Richard at the orgy and waiting at what point that I'm gonna come. I'm watching her fuck harder and harder and harder. It's all very hot and you're having a great time behind.

I think, oh well, she's about to come and then I guess after. That he'll pull out and then we'll come all over someone hopefully me right, maybe Lauren, who, who knows so she comes, she has a a beautiful orgasm. He gets up afterwards and I'm still sitting there stroking my penis and starts to grab clothing and I'm like, what, what just happened? What happened?

And and then I brought up the come thing. I thought one of us were going to come. He's like, oh no, no, I did. I'm like.

I lost it. I was like, what? Wait, wait, when, when you didn't make a sound, a face, a nothing, like a movement, a movement, nothing. It was, this is how I think you would learn how to come in prison.

It was stealth. It was stealth coming, a stealth comer that was like secret coming. You're a secret comer like that. And she's like, no, I knew he came.

Yeah, and I'm like, OK, well, I'm sorry I'm not married to you guys. I have no clue. Like most people make sounds. She was even like, you couldn't tell.

Yeah, she was like, You didn't see it. I'm like, No, most people are like, Oh, I'm close. I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come.

00, I'm coming. I'm coming, something, or at the very least, oh. Like I mean nothing. There was, I don't even know if his breathing changed.

He was like, well, he kind of arched his back. Did you notice that? I was like, all right, everybody go home. You're wrapped.

You're wrapped it. I was laughing so hard with them through so much. They were just such lovely, fun people and little idiosyncrasies of people where, again, you make assumptions like everyone's gonna make cum noises or everyone's vocal about saying I'm close or whatever. And, and you learn little things about people.

It's so precious, funny, and you know, again, it's like, well, the joke's on you because you just made a dumb assumption that you're gonna be like, I'm really close, Richard. Where are we coming, bro? Maybe next time if there is a next time, hold me close, my silent comer. Mm.

Make a few phone calls and I go get a Fosse number to that song. It's gonna be a nude ballet. Gonna be beautiful. So moving.

Uh, soft swap isn't anything to be afraid of. You get to do all the same things, really, and I enjoy my wife's vagina the mostest also to that person that's listening, you know, when you're, when you're talking to somebody, if you're not into soft swap, be polite. You know, it doesn't mean you have to treat them like a leper, you know, just cause they, they don't go all the way, doesn't mean that they're social pariah. Give them some dignity.

Don't make them feel like they're. Less than just because their choices are different from you and where they are in their journey. I'll just end with this. You talk longer to people who don't tell you anything, and then you find out a day or two later, they're like, Oh, we're not even in the lifestyle.

They're like, I wasted all of my fucking time with you, you poser. Like you've done everything to indicate that you are because you're playing a role in this environment, you know, people enjoy the atmosphere and they enjoy the environment and sometimes they go along. Along with it a little bit too much to fit in and lead people on, at least soft swappers are at least in the game, you know what I mean? It's just what their preference is, and you don't know why.

I mean, they could be saving you from they have something and they just don't want to tell you that part or I don't know. Look at me. I'm, I'm in the lifestyle show with my glow sticks and my slidy clothes, and I'm at a lifestyle party. Do you want to go play?

I'm so jealous. I can't wrap my head around that. You're at a lifestyle party. I know.

I just love the vibe. Yeah, I love to rave, bitch, go to a rave because go feel old at a rave instead of feeling young at a swinger party. Anywho, you let it out, Richard. You did.

I let it out. what would that be? # this podcast is already too long to wrap this one up nicely in a bow, to be totally fair and honest to those people who, or guys or anybody, I don't know who, I don't know what you're like to be fair to the guys who are out there calling bullshit with the soft swappy things who are asking, are you? Looking at it at any point going, oh God, I want to fuck her.

Are you like looking at the vagina? Yes, of course you are. Of course you are. Of course you are, but it's OK.

I am staring at her vagina the entire time going, I want to stick my cock in her and you said it out loud, which is OK. That's what I was getting at like a bunny jumping ahead. So when I dropped her off, uh, because you were dying, I did. I skipped.

Out on the drop off. I dropped them off. I told her I was like, if it's any consolation, I wanted to fuck you so. So it's like it is, but it's like that's when you turn to your partner and you're like, Oh, let me fuck you because I just, I want to be inside of that.

Do you, on the other hand, I wanted to ask you live and in person, and I haven't, I've not asked you this question. When you're there with the cock, are you thinking the same? Thing like as I'm with the vagina, I'm talking about like they're puppets when you're with the cock, are you going through that same emotion like I want to stick this in like I want to sit on this? Yeah, I definitely, I definitely am and you know, I wish that there had been more of another thing I really enjoy about soft swapping is you can't have it and I almost like that.

I like the. Tease of um it's not the question. I know, but I wanted to have more of that where you straddle him and you can't put it in. Yeah, it's still not the question.

I'm asking you I want it. OK, that's the question. Are you as a woman, I think men want to know like we look at holes, any holes, mouth, ass, vagina, and we're like, I want to stick at it. Do you look at a cock and go, I want to stick it in.

Um, time's on the clock. I do, I do, but I want it to be like as part of the whole movement. Like me too. No, like I don't just look at the cock and I'm sucking it and being like I want to sit on it.

It's like I want to straddle him and have more movement and pretend and be like, yes, now I want to stick it in. Otherwise I could just be sucking his cock and being like, I want your cock in me. Yeah, you just. Lost all the guys and including me.

I have no idea what you're talking about. Just you either want to stick it or you don't want to stick it in. I do. I do.

All right, so that's, that's a yes, sort of, but it's such a girl thing to say. But what, what's the follow up to that would be, why do you look at a hole and be like, not just be like, well, I'm just going to stick it in my wife's hole because it's a hole. I do. I'm trying to see what the difference is.

There is no difference. It's just a hole. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, you see a vagina, a guy's mind is automatically picturing his penis penetrating it. There is no like, I can't wait to grind up against that till I eventually work my way in, or I can't wait until I mentally connect with her.

Mine is more like I want what I can't have, if that makes sense. Sense because that's part of the fun of soft swap for me. I get it. OK, so now I got all the men and women back on track with me.

You're welcome. OK. And lastly, I want everyone to know that Lauren did get very sick. Everyone actually got very sick, except for me.

I was totally fine. So I can only deduce that whatever disgusting disease that was spread between the three of you was while I was masturbating by myself and you were all in that selfish, silent. Come threesome. That's what it's called.

It was the selfish silent come threesome, selfish silent come flu. So you know what, karma, you all got sick. I didn't. That's worth it.

That's what y'all get hashtag worth it. Tell that to your doctor. Maybe your cum is like the antivirus. Maybe I'm just saying stayed inside of me.

I stayed healthy. So if you hear that, everyone, if you need some antiviral to swallow, I'm right here. What's up? Um, I, to your penis, I don't know.

My penis is not up. Oh, I was so sorry. Oh, our survey says no. I have one shot of this.

I'm sorry, the podcast is over. The water table, uh, the water table is up. In fact, you are correct. OK, yay, I got it right.

Hey, how are you enjoying our new drier above sea level studio so far? I think it's fantastic. Yeah, it's much drier up here, so dry. It's like Colorado dry, but you know it's not dry?

Your vagina. Stop it. Well, that brings me to the next thing that I wanted to talk to you about, which you know, because I already told you, uh, and I don't want you to act shocked. Hold on, I have to adjust myself.

I put, I literally squeezed myself into some sort of weird yoga position. I know I have a weird machacho, by the way, very comfortable. Just it's fine with the new studio, just dead asleep. Speaking of my wet vagina.

Wet vagina. Well, our sexual life has made a slight turn. Doing this for so long, it's rare that you get to fall upon things where you're like, this is kind of a new thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you discovered new turn ons.

Yeah, and this is what happened that I want to share. So we have turned up volume on your OnlyFans because we need the money. Let's be honest. Let's be honest, we, we need the money and we're doing it.

So we've been trying to do that more with that. So with that, you know, you're chatting with different guys and you're videoing with different guys and making content and the chatting part and the doing things for other guys. I didn't know that it was going to have such an effect on me, a positive effect. I'll give our listener an example.

Yes, first I would see some of the chats, and it would be like you talking dirty to another guy. I'm so dirty. I'm such a dirty talker. I know.

And normally you would in a normal world, you look at these chats and you're talking to these guys, and they're just dirty and disgusting at face value. You would look at these and you're like, you know what, this is too far, sister. Turn it down a bit. Why am I hard?

So I was like getting really turned on, just reading these things. And then, you know, it came a time where you came into the room and, you know, you had a little bit of makeup on, and you got yourself looking really, really cute. You're sort of like looking at your phone and you're like, hey, I uh I have to go do a video with this guy. And I'm like, and you like holding a toy in your hand.

And I'm like, OK. And I'm just like sitting at the desk, just you just sort of walked off and went into the bedroom and I started getting hard. It was such a fucking turn on thinking about you in there and you just getting off in there. And can you hear me when I'm up there?

I didn't hear you. I can't hear you. No, and I want to give you privacy because I don't want you to be in your head. I know.

I would love for you to be able to hear like at the same time, it's like that's part of the reason why I go away is because it's like, I know that I would get shy, but I don't know why. But like, I want you to hear at the same time. So I was just curious because I hadn't asked you that before yet. I mean, maybe, maybe at some point, but right now, like, I don't want you to get nervous.

I know. I don't want you to get nervous. And I totally am anyway, so it's like. But it's, but like seeing, seeing the photos and seeing the videos, like there's this one photo of you.

I, I don't know where I was at the time, because sometimes I'll go in there and I'll read the chats because I'm disgusting and it gets me off. I want, I want to read the dirty stuff. And I'm lucky that you like that it gets me that it turns me on. So it's this interesting dynamic.

And I know I'm not the, I think I'm turning into a Hot wife. No, I'm not the hot wife. Is that a thing? I don't know what I am.

I have lost my identity. But there's this one photo while you were doing a video chat session with, yeah, and it's you holding a toy against your pussy and there's just like a drip of fluid like connected to your pussy and the toy and it just drove me over the edge and I Had to masturbate and that night as we were going to bed, I just whipped my cock out and just started dirty talking to you about all the guys that were jerking off to you and just came all over your ass. I love it so much. I love that it's like you said, it's a surprise.

I love being paid for it. That's a surprise too. I also like the challenge of making myself go deeper into the dirty talk because I don't. Practice it enough, I think in our real sex life.

And it turns me on. I get turned on myself just by texting dirty stuff to people and seeing them be like, wow, and holy fuck, and this is so hot. And when they come, they're like, I haven't come that hard in such a long time. I love that.

I just wish people knew how genuine it was. Like, I just like I want to film it. I just want to be like, let me. To show you her wet pussy on this side, Sir Bob 21493.

Well, that's part of what that photo was is like we were playing with it's called the Melt actually. It's from Taboo Toys, our newest sponsor, Taboo Toys Tabooys.com, and it's called the Levin's Melt, and it's like double stimulator. You really like that one because that's the one you were using when I was jerking off on your ass. Yes, it goes.

Inside and hits your G-spot and vibrates on the clitoris and it's like spins around. It's like a, it's almost like a acts like a sybian does like it spins and vibrates and then the tip of it vibrates on your clit and it is like it's super powerful, gets me super wet, which is why I pulled it out and took that photo because I was like, I'm super wet sexting right now and they're like bullshit. And I was like, true story, click and if you're. Turned on.

Yeah, they want to know that too. I don't know why, but I guess like I guess they think you're faking it. Yeah. What was that one called?

The flexor. The flexor. The first time I used it, it was intense. And I was like, OK, this is fucking awesome.

And I was trying to like tilt it a little bit more. And it has one button, just a some like the womanizer has like an up and a down so you can adjust and go backwards, lower, lower, higher, higher, like a forklift. Sure, go on. I'm just trying to relate.

I'm relating to the guys. Go on. OK, good. So it just has one button and you just press it and then the next button you press it again and it takes you up a level.

But if you hold it too long, it turns off. So I was trying to position it to hit more of my G-spot because of the way I was sitting, I wasn't laying down. And so my G-spot was in a different sort of spot. So I was trying to press the whole toy inside me a little bit more and I kept hitting the power button and it was turning off.

The toys still inside of you. It's toys inside me. We should go to the hospital now. No, it's not inside me now.

Oh, you mean during the story, during the story, OK, go on, yeah, because it has like a lip on it that hits your clit. So it's half of it's in, half of it's out. I was trying to like tilt it, but that's where the power button is, and it wasn't any other place for me to press to tilt it without hitting the power button. And so I'd be like super close to coming and then it'd be like, and you turn it off.

I turn. It off. It happened 3 times in a row. Then I started laughing and I was like, oh my God, I'm never going to fucking come and I have to come right now.

Like this is killing me. It was frustrating and hysterical at the same time, but you need to, I need to lie down and do it is what I need to do. You need to get someone to do it for you. Well, it actually has a remote control.

It has a whole you didn't use the remote. It's not a you put it on your phone and you can give the link to people and they can run it from their phone. Oh, you just buried the headline. Wait, what?

Wait, what? What? This just proves the difference between men and women. Oh no, it comes with a remote and it's not the first thing you try.

No, it's not. You're like, how do I hook it up to my Google Home? Yeah, the guys would have gotten the remote working first. They wouldn't have even started using it until the remote was working, so you could do it from your phone.

Yeah, that would not have started. That's what I love about women. I, I don't, I don't even know where the remote is. Just I need to come, right?

Yeah, so you can put it. It's an app you download the app from your phone, and then you can either use it yourself from your phone or you can make. Links and you can give the links to people and they can have access to your toy, which is what I'm going to do on OnlyFans, but no one's, no one's done it yet. Is the link up there?

Well, no, you have to buy it. I just asked people if they wanted to and they were like, yeah. And then I'm like, Well, no, I just did a testing the waters to see who wanted to do it. But then it's like I have to schedule it.

Well, all right, I know. All right, there's so much I didn't know about this, you almost getting it caught up inside of your uterus brought out so much more information. What is the toy called? It's called the Flexor actually, and you can get it.

Tabu Toys, T A B U as in you do you.com. They also get a discount, yes. Use code room 77. There's a price fixed on really high-end toys like this.

However, do you want to support lifestylers, small businesses, you should, and that's who Taboo Toys is. So they've been around since 2003. It's super awesome. They have all the high-end.

Brands like Levin's, you can go get the milk and save 10%. Use code room 77 at checkout. Do that. Meanwhile, you keep talking to all of these people and keep us all hard at the same time.

Did you read that last one that I told you to read? Which one? The one where I edged him and then, no, no, I told you to go read it. There's so many, so many, like I don't know.

You want me to remember CJ 43921? Yeah, I know exactly who that is. OK, I'll pull it up for you. I was really proud of myself.

I'll read it. Maybe I'll even grab some lube and uh go to Toto myself. I can blow you underneath your desk while you read it. How about that?

I mean, honestly, there's not enough room. No, I know. I don't have a big desk. Your desk is plenty big, honey.

Don't say that. I'm not actually talking about my penis. Oh, OK. All right, Lauren, I've had enough.

In the last episode, I had brought up something about having Alzheimer's, but I can't remember. I'm just kidding. Um, I was talking about toothpaste or something, and someone had reached out to me and sent an article. Research had shown that Viagra or use of Viagra helps this prevention, prevention.

It helps the prevention of Alzheimer's Alzheimer's. Yes, onset, yeah, you're helping me talk. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's ridiculous. I got this how this is progressing, how quickly, fast toothpaste.

It just goes to show you I need more Viagra. Oh yeah, that's right, not toothpaste. That's what they're putting together. The more Viagra you take, the more you don't have Alzheimer's.

That's amazing. I'm gonna go take a Viagra anyway. It doesn't matter. I'm just gonna start taking them.

I, I, it doesn't matter. Get your Pez dispenser out. If anybody doesn't want Alzheimer, take Viagra. That's my recommendation for the day as your doctor with an aspirin.

You're welcome. So here's, uh, here's the thing that we wanted. One of the things that we wanted to get to talk about today was actually it was gonna be a very special episode of Room 77. We don't really ever do very special episodes.

Usually keep it really, really light. But what we were going to talk about was super duper important, and it had to do with life and age and the lifestyle. Briefly, it was, it was about hormones because we have been going through some stuff that has been really, really difficult for us just in the past year, maybe a little bit more personally to deal with. Lauren has reached the death of her vagina.

What do they call it? Menopause. That's, that's right, I think that's the medical term, you know. It's just about dealing with your emotions and, and just your libido and your feelings and how it affects the relationship, how it affects the lifestyle, your dynamics that you, you had, and what the dynamics are like now and how utterly confusing it can be just to, just to deal with.

I mean, it's just, it's a bitch. It's like, I think part of it is like, it's so little by little that in a relationship, you don't see it. It takes like a year of annual visit. It and the doctor was like, oh yeah, your ovaries are gone.

And you're like, wait, what? That sort of explains why I've been so lethargic and why I'm forgetting everything and why I don't have my sex drive the same and the gym is hard, and we had to step out of Mexico because there are no doctors here that can help us. They don't do what they do. We have a husband and wife couple doctor team that has true angels have been helping us through this whole thing, and I can't.

Even tell you how much um just going through the testing and adding the hormones um has completely changed everything. And once you start talking to your friends, then you're like, oh, you're going through it too. But like, I had no idea, like my mom didn't teach me anything about this. And they're like, oh, mine didn't either.

I didn't know you were going through it. And I'm like, yeah, I didn't know you were going through it. And it's just really, really important. So I do want to talk about it, but we can talk about it on the next episode.

It's like. The female doctor, she put it best, she was like, yeah, listen, if menopause was a male problem, this thing would have been sorted decades ago. She was like, there'd be a pill or a shot or a procedure, any sexual issue with men, and it is like medically sorted immediately for some reason. Still, how far we've come along, you know, in in contrast between men getting older and women getting older.

If it was a guy, you'd be like, guys, we have pills, we have pumps, we have surgeries, we have injections, we have websites. What do you guys need to keep fucking. And for women, it feels like, well, you're old, you're done fucking now. Sorry, sister.

So it's, it's not easy for women, uh, you know, and there's not a lot of info out there. For me, I was kind of blindsided. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't educated.

Already. I can tell a difference in terms of like sensation, like even using. The taboo toys, it's, you start to lose sensation in your clip, which is why I've got that double stimulator toy and it's already starting to come back, which is exciting for me. The vaginal dryness is starting to go away like it's just the little things are starting to come back and little by little from what I hear.

So thank you, Taboo Toys for coming into our lives. Yes, at this very moment. Make sure to listen to the next episode. It is going to be really, really important for your overall health, especially ladies in your 50s, really listen, 40s, really, really listen, ladies in your 30s, listen because you're going to go through it sooner or later, and ladies in your 20s, you can just text me.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go leave a positive review. Or for more information, go to room 77life.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast.

Now get your clothes and get out.