Ep. 88: DP and the Lifestyle Secret Signals Unlocked

Brian from Saskatchewan wants to know, do you enjoy your nipples being tugged on? No, Brian, I don't have a lot of nipple sensitivity. Yeah. Oh, you know what?

That question was for me. Uh, yes, I do, Brian. Yes, yes, I do. Sorry, some of these get mixed up.

Ron Pyle, yeah, I don't know. Sorry, I'm just saving Brian in my phone. Give me a second. Oh God.

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with your chicken alive. 77 is how it is said in British English, 77. In American English it would be pronounced as 77 77 77. All right, Lauren, we've started.

I have nothing new to say. I've run, I've, I've covered everything in the lifestyle. Sometimes you do that when you're on your phone, you're like, I just finished the internet. I did.

I finished the internet and by the time the news comes on, it's not news because you've already read it. I've seen a reel about it. I've seen tweets about it and then the news comes on at night and I'm like, old, it's old and there's actually the problem with the news cycle is everybody's got to stay ahead of it. So what do you do?

You just make it up. That's. That's new. Here's what is not made up.

We just announced sin October 2025, 11th to 16th of October. What month is it? Like you just said that it's in 2025, so I just wanted to give them a month. Yeah, that is important.

Sin, October 11th to 116th. Make sure you book now. We want to see everybody there. Room 77 events.com.

You can go there and it'll take you to all the information. Now this entire episode and maybe the next one, I don't know, is going to be all about what not to do in the lifestyle. Learn it from me. And you know what, don't even learn it.

Just listen to me. These are things not to do, uh, based on embarrassment of myself and just me looking at you embarrassing yourself. It's what we do. We either make fun of ourselves or we're making fun of you.

So sometimes and sometimes I'm dumb and sometimes you're dumb and sometimes we read things online or we see things and it's just don't be dumb. Our first little tidbit is about temptation and spa. Is it resort and spa resorts temptation, temptation I think it's just Temptation Resorts Cancun. Just temptation.

Our first is about temptation. Also, by the way, if you want to go to temptation in a cheap way there and free bikini, reach out to me on either Facebook at Lauren Reese or contact us on our website. I'm really good at saving money. It's my jam.

Let her get you there. That's what I tell all the guys. So if you want to book a little Temptation, Trist, reach out to Lauren and she will get you there cheaper. It's my superpower, Richard.

Temptation. We were there last time and we only went for one night. It was someone's birthday and they were like, hey, come up and celebrate our birthday with us, AKA let's fuck. I know, right?

Which is, is great for us. We know this couple, we've been with them a few times. They are amazing. At corrupting us, this couple, they introduce us to things that we've never done before all the time.

I love them for that, but they literally didn't remember. They were like, no, not us. And we're like, absolutely. Yeah, you're really bad influences and we love you for that because they're such like they're not troublemakers.

They're not troublemakers, which is so great. They're just very confident. You just do whatever they do. Sounds like a good plan.

I'm just doing what you do. You're successful. They are the definition of I learned it by watching you. She's very intimidating to me but they're both very, they're an intimidating couple, both confidence wise and physically.

He is one of those take charge kind of guys like he's just sort of in control, take charge. I am the opposite of take charge kind of guy. Tell me what to do. We didn't have a lot of time up there, which was fine that we got a room with a view.

Hold up, let me, let me clarify this. A room with a view of air conditioners. Now I don't know if you've ever been in this particular room, but it is in a certain spot and sometimes we go through the door of the rooms at Temptation, the blinds are closed, but when you walk in they automatically open it's kind of a cool little feature in this room they just stay shut. It's best.

It's best for everyone and did the wires in the wall for that. Why, why are the blinds shut? It's like I just glue the blinds to the glass. I mean, I don't expect a great view.

I just didn't expect industrial equipment expect that. And again, you know, you're not there for the view. You're not there for the food, really. You're just there for the thing.

We thought it might be a trendy garden, so that's what we booked, you know, whatever. I don't care. It's got a balcony. Let me go out there and see if I can make this a little bit sexy.

It's so close to the whatever. I don't even know the hotel that's next door, whatever. I go outside. There's like employees showing up.

It's like their entrance, and then you can sort of see over the fence into just a part of the pool of the pool next door, not going great. Employees are walking in. Air conditioners are going. You can hear the other pool.

Is it adding ambience? What I could hear is Spanish bingo. The DS. I'm like we have to get out of this room.

There's no we're not doing balcony stuff anyway. It didn't matter. We were only there for less than literally less than 24 hours, and we were there to, to have, have the sex. Well, we ended up doing like a, like a happy hour kind of thing.

Like we went out to the pool, but we just sat at the premier bar out there and just, oh yeah, yeah, we just talked for a long time. I was trying to flirt with the military guy on the beach. He was so cute. Again, it's so funny because he's super touchy and I'm super touchy and we're already like arm around or touching or little waist or whatever and you guys are standing on the floor.

Yeah, the opposite just not touchy touching at all, barely making eye contact. We had a good time reconnecting out there. You were trying to flirt with the military man, uh, Megan pew pew pew pew. Surprised you didn't get shot.

So then we're like, well, let's, what are the plans for tonight? And basically, we know them and we respect them for this. They're basically like, Oh, when are we having sex? Right?

Good question. Well, it was so cute. She was like, Are we even gonna dress it up for the theme night? I want to dress up.

And I was like, Yeah, yeah, let's totally dress up. I'm not like the clothes. Yeah, I'm not saying like sex at 8 and for 6 hours. Let's just, no, no, let's go feel it out, you know, go people watch for a second and then we'll go in and do our own thing.

So that's exactly what we do. It's again sort of like Chevy Chase in vacation looking at the Grand Canyon. And then just head out. So I didn't, I wasn't sure if I called it too early, but we were, you know, it was perfect, perfect, because it wound up being a late night anyway.

I remember from last time she's pretty shy, like she's not very aggressive, him very aggressive this time what I'm gonna do is I am going to try a different approach, right? That sounds like. A good plan, great plan in theory, what I do is I try to soften everything up with a little bit of humor this time, which I don't think I really tried last time to get those guns out. She comes at me with a little bit of awkwardness and it's not awkward like she's awkward.

Well, in my defense, she literally says I'm awkward. So I say back to her, I'm more awkward and now we're both having an awkward contest. Even if we both win, we both fucking lose. And then I look over at you two and you're being fucking porn stars.

I don't know what you're doing. You're just getting fucking railed, thrown around. It was so good, Richard. I love being handled like that.

I could tell you guys were so good. I kept looking over. I was like, what, what are you guys doing over there? Maybe I should just do what you guys are doing.

But I couldn't even, I couldn't even do that. He's like, he's got big hands. He's, he's tall. And he likes throwing her around.

So that's what sort of their dynamic is. So I'm like, I am sign me up. And I told him that I was like, sign me up for that. And you were going down on her and that was, and that's one of your insecurities, right?

And so he looked over. Well, we'd had this conversation afterwards, but he was like, yeah, like, she's so enjoying it. Listen. Thank God to 3 years of art of touch.

I used everything I had, and it is the most perfect pussy ever and I was in heaven down there. Yeah, you were down there for much longer than you normally are. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't nearly do that to you at all. At all, like, half the time I was like, Lauren's gonna be really pissed off at this because I don't do this to her.

But I was like down there forever. I was having a grand old time. OK, good, because I was stressing that you were like, I'm just going to keep trying stuff. That's why you were down there for so long.

So I was so into it, so, so into it. Yeah, I look, a lot of guys go into these situations with a a feeling where they, they want to go into a situation and have the person walk away. With I want to be the best fuck ever. Like that's what I want her or him to walk away with.

I want them to be the best fuck up fuck ever. Whereas I set my bar at I want them to not have the feeling of I don't have to shower the ick away. That's all. That's all if I, if I feel that I want.

That's so bad, Richard. You're so good. Like, I, I wish I could tell you you're confident up your confidence level. I appreciate that.

I really do. I, and I gave up on her because, um, I just wasn't doing well. I, I physically she's not vocal and so you didn't know you were doing well, but you were. I don't know if it was, it doesn't matter.

The whole thing was a success as a whole. I don't want to say that it wasn't. I just, what, what I start to do is I start watching you guys at some point, you were like, I need a break. I'm getting fucked so hard, right?

And I'm like over on the side doing a crossword and You're like, I need a little break. And then I would like turn around and then he's got you bent over and he's just like fucking you against the table. And I'm like, Oh, this is so hot. Well, what I thought was so hysterical about this is she was cold, right?

Because she has like zero body fat. So she was cold. So she took the hair dryer and she plugged it into the wall and she sat it in the umbrella stand. So we are like, we're fucking so hard and we are, I'm just sweaty.

As balls and he's like, he's rubbing my back and he's like this sweat's so hot. Oh my god, because he's just thinking like animals were animals and I was like, I need a break. I need a break. I need water, getting water and then that's when he turned around.

It's like I just had like a couple sips and it's basically like that's enough bent over the back you're like a marathon runner grabbing a cup on the way. It went on for a while though, it, but we, we were exhausting things. To do my favorite part was when he had you pinned down. We actually have this on film, not film, no uses film anymore.

We actually have it on camera where he has you literally has your hips pinned down on the bed and he is just, just taking you. That was my, that's the image that I have in my head that I really, really like. I saw him do that to her and I said, I want that. And he was like, oh, OK, I can do that to you.

Well, my image will be right back. We all know that bikini Addiction is not just about swimwear. It's about a mindset. It's about a vibe.

Every guy in their lifestyle wants their wife to be the best looking whore in the place, and I mean that in the best way possible. Well, whore in the lifestyle is a compliment. Yeah, what a hot little whore. So it's like that energy of being bold and confident and We all want to look like that, right?

But then when you take that same bikini to a cookout, suddenly it's, oh my God, what is that little whore wearing? Right? Won't someone think of the children and listen to the subtle difference. Yeah, look at what she's wearing, that little whore.

Now listen. What is she wearing? That little whore. It's subtle, but it exists.

Bikini Addiction understands that. So they have the sexy ones for the wife to wear like the triangle back and the rhinestone tee at the sexy pool party. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the ones where they outline the labla. That's how you say it, right?

Yes, and then there's the more conservative ones with the added front liner and a little bit more coverage in the back so she can keep the peace, right, keep granny happy. So if you're a guy like me who wants to describe his wife's location at a lifestyle resort like this, oh, she's the little whore over there in the bikini edition bottoms, or when she's at the neighborhood car wash fundraiser, she's the charitable gal. Over in that classy Bikini Addiction bikini over hither. Head to bikiniadddiction.com and get your classy or your sexy or both and use promo code room 77 at checkout to save 10%.

Or you can book a qualifying stay at Temptation or Desire with us, and I will give you a free bikini. Bikini Addiction, they didn't invent Madonna or the Whore, they're just slapping the right bikini on them. My image that I loved was she actually got to ride on top of you, which is not something you allow very often. Well, no, because she's so tiny that I could hold her up with one arm and I know she's not Latina and she's not a Latina who's gonna break my cock so I felt very safe with her riding me like a crazy person and and in my defense, I just want to bring this up doctors and it's in Cosmopolitan magazine, so it has to be true, doctors have come out and said that reverse cowgirl is the most uh dangerous sex position because it increases.

Is the risk of penile fracture. Shut up. I won't shut up. I will only spread the message.

Yeah, cringe like that. Let everybody know that you're cringing right now because that's how I feel. I'm not crazy. I know that it can happen and I just don't want it to, OK?

It's the shape. Just get used to it, ladies. I'm sorry. I can't please you in that way.

There's many other things that we can do. Just fill out the form. And we'll circle the parts on your body. Anyway, what were you saying?

So seeing her body and her stomach and her ass was on top of you was just, I can still just think about that and masturbate. It's so hot to me. Yeah, she's built like a sex doll. And then what, what, what really stopped me, to be honest with you, I don't know if this has happened to anybody else ever, is she wanted to get.

Fuck from behind and I started to fuck her from behind. She is so physically small that I felt like I hit something like, oh, that felt like it hurt. Not that she made a motion that it hurt. I don't know what I just did, but I don't want to hurt anyone.

You were hitting her cervix. I don't know if that's what a cervix is. How do I know? Her belly button?

I don't know. Could have been her wallet. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know what's in there. Sort of failure on my, my end. Everybody did really well except for me, but as a whole experience, so very, very, very big win. The biggest win was they gave us our most successful DP we've ever had, DP meaning vaginal and anal, because usually it lasts about 7 to 11 seconds and it went on and on and on and I was.

Fucking your ass and he was fucking you and it was super, super hot. I was so into it. Like the sensation of being filled like that is so hot to me and I wasn't like super prepared, but I was prepared in a way and I wanted it so bad. I was already in that submission sort of state.

I can't get over the feeling of being so full that. Way and having it being fucked both at the same time. Yeah, I imagine it's pretty intense because sometimes it doesn't actually work once one's stationary and one's fucking and this one you guys both just started going at it and I was like finding a rhythm fucking take me now except for I will say this because I'm never perfect and she was shooting this film lasted so long that she stopped filming because we had enough coverage. That's it.

That's a great sign in and of itself. It's like, I got that, we're moving on. That's a wrap on this scene. But what was happening with me is I still have a positioning problem with DP.

So for me, I was down, one leg up with like one knee was up and one knee was on the mattress, and I kept switching so that one knee kept popping up, like I kept popping up and then popping down and it started looking like I was doing one of those Russian squat dances while I was. Fucking, I just folded my arms to my chest. I, because I didn't know, is this better or is that better? Is this better or is this better?

But I haven't even, I really haven't watched the video yet to even see me switching knees, but I should put it to some sort of Russian music. I think we should, ya, yes, and we are on our way back to Temptation in just a few days and we are going to see them again. I know. I think it's just going to be you.

I don't think I'm going to make the cut. Well, part of it was because it was his birthday. So that's why she was like, I'm gonna pull it was not his birthday. Well, it was not his birthday, which I found out in the room.

I mean, it was for him, it wasn't even close to his birthday. That's what the trip was planned. It wasn't even in the right month. It was the right month.

It was just early, 2 weeks early, but it could also literally changed to the right month while we were in the room. That's right, because we were like, Can we celebrate your birthday yet? Hard sell, but it worked. I was sold.

I'm like, he signed me up. Listen, it didn't take that much of a sell, but. Love them so much. Thank you guys.

Oh, I can't wait to see them again. I can't wait to DP you again. We just need one more to put in your mouth, get this years long airtight struggle over with. Yeah, because I feel like I'm, I'm graduating up to like I'm more sophomoric level now, so I can be like, OK, let's get airtight going literally in that moment.

When they were both inside, we were pumping away. She have had somebody just run out the front door, just you fly down, anyone who's got a cop, it's a room service guy. It doesn't matter. Come here would have worked and then check that box and then we could have finished the podcast, collect the lifestyle pension.

I think that's how it works. I thought you were gonna say like a patch. You get a patch. You do get a patch, and then in the pension you get a credit for.

Airtight. That's nice. And then we would have been able to retire. That's I think I have to look at the rules.

I don't know. It's an ASA. I don't know. Revisit.

All right, well, we will see each other at Temptation then, Lauren. I will see you there, OK. Bring your lube. Bring your plug.

We will have more cocks with us though. Yes, I know. Next story up in a few. We'll be right back.

All right, Lauren, do you know what this is? Oh fuck, having sex. Well, yes, that is the sound of you getting DP I may play this under the entire thing. Oh my God.

So that is you with two, well, one giant penis inside of you and mine. This has been an episode where we have been telling you things of what not to do. On the, uh, sponsor side of this, we would like to tell you what you should do when it comes to DP. There is really only one thing you should do and prep.

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We spent an amazing time at a resort last week, and most of the time we weren't under the influence of alcohol at all, but we were high as vodka. We just wanted to say, hey, day drinkers, we're on to you. A Bloody Mary does not make it breakfast. We got you a better way because shivers, THE gummies, aren't just for breakfast anymore.

And shivers is a really fun way to chill out during the daytime too, like, you just chill by the pool. It's like we were rubbing oil on each other. It's really sexy. It helps with that, like talking to people can stay hydrated by drinking water and not alcohol.

I met 393 people that day. I don't remember any of them. But I'm pretty sure they loved me. Do we want to indulge in this and save some money, right?

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10%. Yeah. Let me talk to my guy. I think I can get a little bit more.

All right, Lauren, we are back. We started and you are not allowed to look outside at the parrot and you are not allowed to look outside and stare at the dragonflies. Those are the two rules going forward. OK?

Now I know that doesn't make sense to our listener, but it should make sense to you. And if it gets bad enough, we're going to have to change chairs. OK. He was really cool though.

He did like parkour off the tree. I don't know how to explain it, but a parrot is something you just drew a really nice visual. OK, I'm not going to look outside anymore. And if not, we can get AI, a parrot doing parkour.

Yeah, we can do that afterwards. But right now, let's let's focus on this. OK. It's so hard for me.

Yeah, that would be awesome. OK. Remember that this episode, maybe the next one, I don't know, is about. What was it about again?

What not to do. Right? What not to do. It's definitely not about memory.

It's about what not to do. That could be us and it could be somebody else. And this is a combination of both. This encapsulates all of the things.

This is the entire narrative in one. It is what not to do as a lifestyle person. We're going to give the some of the newbies out there some advice, and this is also telling people of a job profession, don't do that. All right, so my friend BDE, that's what I call him, he sent me this article and he said, take a look at this.

I'd like for you to follow up on this on the podcast. Now what happened is there's this social media article that was put out. Social media is, as far as I'm concerned, out. Of control like a TikTok, not a line of article.

It's both. It's, it was a TikTok and and an article. It's one of those things where everybody's an expert, you know what I mean? This TikToker, I'm gonna call her Bree because that's her fucking name.

She goes to temptation, right, and she's going to talk about what the secret language and codes are at Temptation, and not in the lifestyle doesn't know anything about the fucking lifestyle, but she's gonna go to Temptation and she's gonna talk about the rules and how we have a secret life. She's gonna debunk it for us. It's gonna decode it for us, exciting. OK, so then there's another person, Olivia, which pretty sure is probably a name for AI.

Then they take this TikTok and they write an article about it, which is like double stupid now. It's like taking a, you know, taking a carbon copy of a carbon copy, like the movie Duplicity at this point. It's just this thing where influencers come into these spaces because they have nothing to fucking talk about. So they just start coming into spaces like a lifestyle community.

They just start talking about shit. They have no idea about. There's no guardrails, there's nothing. They're just telling masses of people about stuff.

Olivia and Bree. Both come very close to encouraging people to commit sexual assault. Stay with me. Oh my God, I can't wait.

Just stay with me. Not really, but seriously, but you'll know when I get there. Bree is the TikToker, and she describes her time at Temptation Resort as an incredible holiday at a swinger's resort. OK.

Olivia, she's the one who's reporting on Bree. So Olivia did an article on a thirty-second TikTok. Does it get any fucking lazier than that? Never been, Olivia.

No, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna watch. TikTok and write articles on TikToks all day. You know what, maybe they're just fucking geniuses. Yeah, we're working so hard, visiting and telling our real experiences, and they're out there just making shit up.

As a goof someday just to fuck with people, they should give one of these motherfuckers a Pulitzer just to. Just to see the reaction you did so good they'd be like you did so good on that temptation article and then just put her on a podium in front of scientists. Oh my God. All right, so off the bat, off the bat, Olivia says she's describing the difference between, uh, Temptation cruises and resorts.

This is the first sentence at the Temptation Cruises and resorts, passengers are pretty much free to do anything they please. Oh good, great to send people in there with, yeah, just do whatever the fuck you want, especially in a place where they're single guys, you go online, just book a ticket. And they said I could do anything I please, right? This is from Bree.

I don't know if you know her. It goes back to the TikTok. The creator explains that there's certain signs to look for when you want to enjoy a spicy break with people, OK? And she said there's a few basic ones.

Here's, and this is actually my favorite, and it's, it's gonna go first. It's a basic one that such as a do not disturb sign hanging on someone's door indicates that. No, I can't indicates that those inside don't want any disruptions. No, she didn't.

No, I thought you were gonna see a sign that we want you to knock. Hold on, hold on. That that thing that was invented probably a century ago, do not disturb actually means I don't want to be disturbed. Thank you so much, Bree said there was also another door prompt which she had no idea about.

She explained, apparently if the door is open, that means you. You are more than welcome to go and join. Oh my God, which is a bit of a gamble, she says, because you don't know what you're getting yourself into. Hey Bree, you may be up to sexual assault, or sometimes people just leave fucking doors open by accident, by accident, or for a friend, or it's just in no place in this lifestyle for anyone that's listening or listened to this crazy nut whack job.

If a door is open, do not ever just walk into a room and do whatever you want. Sweet. That is not a rule. It does not exist.

Do not do it. Bree. You should be in jail. Do you know how many times when people like do crack their door for us?

Oh my God, I crack the door all the time. I know, but listen, how many times we'll walk up and we'll be like, Is it 52 1752 17, the door for you? And we're like, but we stop at the cracked door and ask each other 13 times, Is this the right room number? This is the right room.

Number right. What did they tell you? Was this it, Lauren? Do you know that the last couple we were with, the last story that we told, they left the door open for at least 20 minutes to warm the room up because it was so.

Little did they know Bree could have been in, in there and a Bree was in there raping and pillaging. And stealing boots. Oh, I like these. Hold on, I'm not done because I gotta get through this, this, this fucking article.

All right. There's other clues. Bree goes on. Bree says, gee, Bree explains that swingers use other subtle things like the necklace trick.

Do you know what the necklace trick is? Wearing a name necklace with the little beads on it. No. Oh no.

It's important to look at the finer details, Lauren. That's what it says for you gotta look for the for the signals, she continued. Now, quote, If you see a woman wearing a name necklace, that means they want a woman to join. Men with a name necklace with a man means they want a man to join.

Did you ever know this? She cracked it. I did not. I had no idea that we only spoke through clothing and jewelry.

It's this is insane. I have to hear what's next. Bree said that people might also wear a t-shirt that makes their intentions very clear, as for example, some with a unicorn design may be signaling that they are a single female looking to join couples. Here's the thing, Bree.

If a single female is there in a swinger's environment participating in swinger activities, she is a unicorn. Bree seems like the kind of person that when she goes grocery shopping and she stops at the pineapples, pun intended. She looks down to see the sign that says pineapples. She is a unicorn.

She doesn't have to wear a unicorn on her goddamn shirt. Jesus Christ. Oh God, and she goes on, she says, obviously the upside down pineapple on the door, um, if you see this, it just means that the couple is looking for another couple to swap with partners. That's all it means, Lauren.

Let me get this straight, Bree, I'm a little confused. You went to a swinger's resort and you see a sign on a door that says, pineapple. You mean to tell me that there's a couple there looking for other couples? Didn't you go to the entire fucking resort?

For this concept. I'm lost, Bree. Oh God, Bree, I, I think you're getting your vanilla cruises mixed up with your lifestyle resorts. Sometimes if you go into the eating area and there's a sign that says buffet.

You may find food just laid out everywhere. When you go to the buffet or any restaurant and the girl who works there says, what is your room number? what she's really asking is, do you want me to come join you? Only if she's wearing an earring in her left ear and a name tag that says Roger.

Temptation describes la la la la da da. She also says that she's coming back in August. She hated it. She hated it.

No, she actually, she, she remember Lauren, she, she described it the most incredible holiday at a swingers's resort. So she's coming back in August. A, Bree, please don't, and b. I may go And wear two necklaces, a unicorn t-shirt, a pineapple, and leave my door open with the do not disturb tag on so I can witness Bree's head fucking explode, and that for me would make my most incredible holiday at a swinger's resort.

I can't believe it. So listen, just in summation, if anybody out there has read or better yet, if you know Bree, if you could just pass this on, just this message on to her, um, shut the fuck up. All right, Lauren, And I want to say a few things about the segments that we did because I think they're that important. Number 1, as far as the DP goes, again, well done.

Thank you. I can get you a trophy. There's 2 of them. I was gonna say, is it a double dildo trophy?

It's just 2. It's 2 separate ones. That's awesome. I wanted to ask you, I was thinking about DP.

I'm just gonna be honest. I'm just jealous. You should be. I want the sensation.

Yeah, I wish I could give it to you. I don't know what the equivalent would be in your world. Do you have a sensation with men? Well, the equivalent would be getting pegged or fucked while fucking that would be the closest equivalent.

Do you have an equivalent? Do you have a jealousy, gender thing that a man can do that uh a woman can't do? Uh, I mean, I have always been jealous that guys can just stroke it because they have something to stroke. Yeah, that is fun.

I'm gonna be honest with you. I hope that doesn't make you more jealous. It's super fun, and I often think. It is fun to play with, whip out, write your name in the snow like you do all this stuff with it.

It grows it grows some more than others. I mean that would be something that I could see that you should be jealous of it and you should be. It's, it's really fun. It's part of the reason why I enjoy wearing a strap-on is because it's like you feel like you have something to do stuff with.

So what we're finding out is you have penis envy. I think so. We need to do some Freudian therapy on that we need Freud. I think we just figured it out.

You have, you have penis envy. All right, so the last question before we, we wrap this nugget up, what kind of penis would you put on yourself. I think like Dirk Diggler would be fine. Is that not the right answer?

Come on, what am I supposed to say? I say that. I want the truth. You would really, you would really take a giant penis.

I don't think his was giant. I just think it was like, what? That's what the whole. I know, but like it wasn't like I've seen like gigantic ones that are so big that they can't get hard.

it. His was like of all floppy someone who forgets. I want a floppy child immediately after you watch it. I have to remind you we've saw, we saw Dirk Diggler's penis once.

It was flaccid. It was flaccid, and he looked at it for a second and then that was it. So we just, we never saw it hard. Exactly my point.

OK, well, so I want this like floppy, right, but in its flaccid state it was humongous. Fun. So he's not a grower. It just gets hard.

You don't know how hard it got. You never saw it on camera. OK, well, that's the kind of penis I want. It's my penis, so I want Dirk Diggler's penis, and then it just gets hard.

It doesn't grow. OK, good. So there, that's my penis. No, no, no, that's fine.

I'll keep that in mind. Dirk Diggler's flaccid slash hard penis. No, I'll keep that in mind next time I shower in front of you. Just to have that in the back of my head.

Got it. OK. What kind of penis did you think he had hard? How much bigger did you think it got in your mind as a movie watcher?

Larger. How much though? I mean, it probably like 25% or inches, at least 20 to 30% more. Yes, 25 to 30% more.

Maybe even 50%. That's huge. Yes, that's ridiculous. I know, but most penises that are bigger don't really grow that much.

You're overgeneralizing here that I've seen. You'll know anything, anything about penises. I don't, OK, I just know about the ones that I had. I've had to shove in my mouth that make me throw up.

Ask me what kind of tits I want. Oh, Richard, we're going to the doctor. What kind of tits? What size do you want?

Me? Oh, I'd love some double D's. That would look good on you, I think. Oh, don't be like that.

Don't even, no, I think double D's would suit you well. You know what. You can fuck right off. How about that?

On a dark t penis? Nope, not. This isn't even fair anymore because I just set you up to win. I'm going to catch you off guard one time.

You know what? I'll just start saying like, love me those big titties. Love me some big tatas. Love them, love them.

I didn't say I love to have sex with it. You said, what kind do I want to have on my body? That's different. It's not to say like I wanna if I had a Dirk Diggler penis, I would shove it in my vagina all the time.

That would be what question hold on, hold on. Having both wasn't part of the deal, you fucking weirdo. Well, I don't know. Maybe, maybe I'd stuck it in my butt.

OK, the question wasn't what kind of dildo do you want. The question was, what kind of penis did you want? So it's not the same as what you're making it. It's exactly what I'm making it, and it's Dirk Diggler's pig penis, and that's good.

It's good. You move on. In the second segment, we talked about God, lovely, lovely, lovely Bree, and I know it probably came off a little bit negative, but I, you know, I honestly, I think, you know, I just want to say that the frustration doesn't necessarily come up, come from her. Necessarily, uh, it does come up with the fact that when I'm reading social media and I'm, I read a lot and we're just on there a lot because it's what we do.

The one thing that constantly comes up is the secret language of the lifestyle, the secret hidden language. What does it mean when someone wears a black ring on their left hand and their shoelaces on the right foot are untied? It doesn't mean anything and I just don't, I, I can't quite wrap my head around why there are so many out there that want there to be. Be some sort of secret language, secret signals.

Of course, everyone wants a secret language. Why do you think that's like the, I don't even know what those, um, it's not the sergeants, the underground people, Illuminati, the people with the eyeball, the all the secret language that's on the back of the dollar. Everyone wants like a secret language. I know it's close because I know what you're talking about and the name that keeps coming is the foreskin men.

But it's, but it's not. No, they had like a little hat with a tassel and they're in the parades sometimes. My great grandfather was one. You may have to go with foreskin men.

What shamans? No, no. Freemasons. Yes, Masons.

Yes. For skinmans is a different one. I just, I have the answer. If anybody is listening and they want the secret language, they want the secret signals, it's very, very easy.

It's very, very simple, and it's true. It actually exists. OK, what is it? Are you going to tell us now?

I am. OK. I'm gonna let it out of the bag once and for all. Oh my gosh, this is going to be huge.

The secret language, body language. Oh, that's so simple, but so right on. It, it's true. It's body language and, and a little bit of communication.

It's keywords that people use when they're talking. Talking to you and it's it's proximity, body language, that is, that is the secret language. Or sorry, no, what were you going to say? It was like you, you see a couple and he puts her hand, his hand on her butt in a public place.

It's a little more, they're obviously super comfortable with each other in that kind of sense. They will tell you exactly who they are if you just let them talk. They will. It's funny.

We've had friends who are like, there's a vanilla couple, but when we're always around them, they say blah blah blah, or they're always flirting with and touching, you know, my husband in this way, exactly what it is if she's blowing your husband. Might be in the lifestyle that is some hardcore body language. So yeah, I, I mean, as far as body language and shirts and necklaces and bracelets, smoke signals, and open doors and open doors, just like there is no one size fits all, just give it all a rest and just All right, that's it. We are off to temptation right now and we'll be back next time with more stuff, and you can ask us questions and we'll give you all wrong answers.

Say goodbye, Lauren. Bye, everybody. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go leave a positive review. Or for more information, go to room 77life.com.

Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out. Our assumption