Ep. 90: C@ckblocking Yourself at Temptation Resorts

Garth from Kansas City, Kansas wants to know, Lauren, how many hands do you like on you at once? I like, wait, he left a, it's a multiple choice. uh, 4, 7.5, or more than 20. It's funny, Garth, because I was gonna go with 7.

So 7.5 works for me. 7 is good because it means there's a single armed person, and you're in the amputees. You're open like that. I am, and it means that they're probably in the military thing, and that's hot for me.

So only people in the military lose their limbs. No, but it's so discriminatory of you. It's not. How dare you?

I'm ashamed. What about the half? I think we're done here. Everything you ever wanted to hear starts in 60 seconds.

All right, Lauren, you know what I think you need to do something for your ass. I do. Everybody needs to do something for their ass. It's bikini addiction time.

Do something good for your ass. That's what people used to say to me, do something good for your ass. Yeah, when I was growing up, one of the good things they can do for their ass is buy a bikini addiction just in general because it is run by a couple that is married legally in some states and they are wonderful. E.

The piece is meticulously designed and constructed just like this sentence to make you look and feel great. You know what else is great for your ass? Your ass is great for your ass. They have 5 bottom styles that can work all the way from show them everything to cover it up vanilla.

Those Karen's whispering, I think they have an open marriage. You're just jealous because your husband can't stop looking at my sweet ass and my husband's bulge. It's OK, Kevin, we know. What else is good for your ass?

Saving money that's good for your ass. That's good for your ass. Yeah, Bikini Addiction is reasonably priced and they fit better than all competitors. It's true.

Show off that beautiful ass. Save your ass and save some money. They are designed to fit like a dream so you can strut with confidence. Make sure to support a semi-hoory, maybe married couple's business.

Go to bikini Addiction.com, use code room 77 at checkout to save 10%. 77 is how it is said in British English, 77. In American English, it would be pronounced as 77 77 77. What's up girly?

Hi. How you doing? Was that in our lexicon before Friends? How you doing?

A lot of Italians said it. How you doing? There has to be someone who put it in there before Joey. Yeah, Italians, I know, but from a movie.

How you doing? Which movie? And then he just altered it a little bit too. How are you?

How you doing? See how he did that? Pretty genius. Yeah, that's why he's famous, you know, I, I worked with Matt.

Your best friend Matt. Yeah, my best friend Matt LeBlanc. Yeah, he was funny. He was very sweet.

I will leave that in because anytime a name drop, it has to stay in. It's more fun, by law, yeah. Listen, we have to finish this and get out of here because we are on our way to where? Where?

We're on our way to Eastland Mujera's for flirt. I am a bucket of sweat because this event is always a lot of work, but we love doing them and we have another one coming up and it is sin in October and we only have 15 rooms left. I'm telling you this now, listener, because by the time you get this, I don't even know if there's going to be 15 left. This is 15 in the main hotel, right?

Not 15 total because you could still sit stay next door, which is lovely. But if you want to be in that main hotel, we know the procrastinators are out there and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. I'll get to it. You're gonna reach out and you're going to be like, hey, I tried to get on the site.

I tried to purchase, but I can't find the button, and, and we're going to be like, it's sold out, man. And you're going to be like, but I didn't know. And we're going to be like, well, we told you on the podcast and you're gonna. Like, yeah, but I'm behind.

That's what they're going to say. And then they're going to be like, Are there any workshops this weekend? And we're like, dude, you're years behind, dude, like you're pre-COVID in October. What are the dates for them to get there?

11th through the 16th. It will be again on East Lamu Harris with fun DJs and entertainers, sexy people. Go look at the pictures online. Room 77 Life.

Go check it out. Honestly, if you're naked, the pictures look better. Do that. Picture yourself there.

We'll get to this because after this, it's not going to be fun. We have to pack stuff up and I'm not looking forward to that. I also have to shave my testicles. It's also very important to do before an event.

And normally people who are in business don't have to think, uh, pack the tools, load the truck, shave testicles like. That's not something that belongs on anyone's list when they're running a company. I think the listener might be asking, Richard, just get laser. And then I would say, listener, you don't understand Richard's pain threshold and a laser near his testicles, I think it's probably not.

Yeah, someone said it to me. They're like, well, it's just the pain of like someone takes. rubber band and just snaps it on your balls like it was nothing, but my brain went, man, that's the end of that. He has to do this over and over and over again.

That seems horrible, horrible. I have honest, when I was in school and they used to do that thing where they would, they would take a rubber band and like bam, they put it on your arm and do that. I would almost punch people in the face. Back in just by slapping your teacher just accident.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just reacting. You're gonna do that to my nut sack? No thanks. So I'll just, oh, I think we should just put you out.

Just put me down. No, we'll just like completely put you out, be in hibernation, then we'll wake you up like with Michael Jackson's milk or something. We'll wake you up and we'll be like, your balls are done. I would listen, if I could get Michael Jackson milk for everything in my life.

Honestly, I would do it. Give me the milk. Brush my teeth. Is it too soon?

No, it's not too soon. We all still listen to Michael. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

No one talks about Elvis. Fucked a bunch of teenagers. He did, of course he did. So did, uh, Frank Sinatra.

I'm sure he raped his village. No, but, um, I think, uh, there's a bunch of them out there, a bunch of them. What was that? The other one?

Elton John. No, but he probably did too. I'm, I'm sure he's done some stuff that would make a prisoner blush. Um, I forget his name, but he had a child bride too.

But it was OK back then. It was the 50s. Things are different. You wore fedoras and married young.

Things were different then. They solved problems by just turning their head. Um, so yeah, but we listened to all their music. Why was I talking about Michael Jackson?

I brought it up. Oh, speaking of Michael Jackson, sometimes, uh, Michael Jackson impersonator shows up at Temptation, and that's where we were, which is where this story takes place, because if you want two stories inside of one of cock blocking yourself, Jesus, listen to this. So we went up to Temptation, which if you want to go book through Lauren, she'll give you great prices. You have a.

Better time while you're there. That is a scientific fact. They've done studies on it. They've used mice and they've hooked little electrodes up to them.

They've gone through Lauren, and then they've set the mice free at temptation, and the mice rave more when booking through me. It's true. You can't lie. There's just a few tricks to save you money.

So it's just reach out Facebook or our website. When we're saving money at temptation, we can blow it on other things like cock blocking. We show up at TTR and I had no expectations, really. This time we showed up and this is, this is usually a rarity for us, but we show up and it is like a candy store for swingers.

Everyone was hot. Everyone was absolutely beautiful. Just everywhere you turned, you were like, Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. It was utterly intimidating and Wonderful.

At the same time, I was like, there's just too many to to choose from. How beautiful were those people? A crowd like at Temptation I've never seen before. It was awesome.

I was like, this is great. I wish Temptation was like this every time, but not on New Year's when it's maybe less. Yeah, can it be less expensive? It was just, it was overwhelming.

It was just, it was too much, not too much. It was just fun. It was really, really fun. We did meet this.

This couple, long story short, just beautiful, beautiful couple. Long story short, they decide to include us in their six up, which we're happy to do. We're always game. You know what I mean?

Yeah, we don't turn down an invitation. Now it happened that the gentleman, he listened to our podcast. She did not. I gave her hell for, wouldn't let her live it down, to be honest.

So, but that was, that was really fun. You really liked them, right? They're great people. Yeah.

We wound up in a penthouse, as we always do, and then we don't. Um, so we wound up in a penthouse, right? I just, I had a really good rapport with both of them, laughing a lot while I was there. I was just kind of messing with her a lot.

He had really good banter. I really, I had good banter with him. So I go out on the balcony of the penthouse with Matt LeBlanc and. I start talking to her.

You are like, hey, I'm gonna go poppa shivers because you're always nervous. You want to get socially lubricated. I'm like, All right, go do your shivers, which again, usually makes you not listen well, but more of this is my fault. Anyway, so you go over in the corner and you pop, I don't know, 20 shivers, was it?

Yeah, that's usually my dose. You ate the, you ate the package as well. I thought it was like Cirque du Soleil, so I just was like, yeah, I went all in, right? She's a very gorgeous woman.

So all I can do now is show off my sense of humor. It's all I have. So I'm up there on the balcony of the penthouse looking like Matt LeBlanc. I'm curious what kind of play they have like what, what do they do?

What do you guys do? Like what are you into? How many times have you played? and they give me their history a little bit and I say to her, look, here are the rules.

You can't touch me. That is the rule is you can do anything you want, but I don't want you touching me. See, I'm playing hard to get. Yeah, I see that that's what I'm doing.

I'm just being a dick because this is what I do right now you come out to the sliding glass door. Of the penthouse and, and I start filling you in on what we're talking about. The thing that I did learn about her mostly is she was extremely, extremely bisexual. She really, really loved women and I wanted you to know that, right?

So you come over, you're already high. I start filling you in and I say, hey, so I got a little history. This is like how they play. This is how many times they play.

And by the way, uh, just so you know, she is very, very bisexual. What that means is, honey, she wants nothing to do with me. She doesn't want to touch me. She doesn't really even want to be next to me.

She's going to go through this entire thing. And not even really pay attention to me at all. It's mainly going to be me playing with you and with the other couple, but we really won't be doing anything with one another. And she had a complete poker face with this whole thing.

She was like a good sidekick for you. Now we all start playing and everybody's naked. Everybody's doing stuff. We're in things are going great.

Everybody's getting bloated. Everybody's naked, cocks are in mouths. It's, it's doing stuff. There was one other person there who always hogs the new girl.

She was the new girl. He always does it. I love him to death, but he always does it. So I actually never did in fact get to go over to her.

So I was, in fact, not really spending any time with her because he was hugging her. So it did in fact look like she was not paying me any attention at all, and I wasn't paying her any attention. Then I was, I was, I think we started fucking a little bit, you and I. The other guy immediately starts fucking her, the girl, my biggest fan, that's what we'll call her.

They start fucking and you're, you're there and you're kind of facing one another but backwards and almost 69 or whatever. Things are proceeding and they're they're getting hotter and hotter. I sort of walked back around and I'm, I'm going around the other couple and I think I was fucking you for sure. And I know he wanted to fuck you, right?

And I walk around the other girl, and the other woman, I should say, and he said, Where are the condoms? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're right over there. And he starts putting on a condom and you look at me like you're about to be raped. My eyes go wide open, eyes wide open.

I'm like, Why did you just put me on the chopping block? What happened? And you look at me, there's fear and terror and And our friend looks at me and says, Is she OK? And any loving husband turns to her and says what any kind and loving, caring husband would say, which was, you know, she's fine.

I don't know, I don't know what that's all about. I have no idea what she's, I don't know what she's fucking doing. So she takes, she kicks into female mama bear and she's like, no, something is definitely wrong. I'm like, Nothing is wrong.

Go tell him to stick it in her. Like, I don't know what's happening. She stops him and what did she say? Oh yeah, she said she's sore.

And I'm like, No, she's not. Well, that's what I was thinking. And I'm like, What is happening here? What is going on?

I'm looking at you, you're looking at me. We're giving you. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? You're fucking all of this up.

What is happening? You're looking at me like, What? What? What is going on?

Why are you offering me? What's happening? Why did you say yes? So things are sort of moving along little by little.

And eventually, um, I do wind up over with her and start having sex with her. And then we're alone for like a second and I'm like, you obviously saw me have sex with her. So you're like, oh, I guess, I guess it is full swappy swab. Still, we're on literally two different planets at this point.

He comes back, he can't get hired anymore. Why? Because you killed him. You literally, you took all of his insides and you destroyed his soul.

That's what you did. That's what you did. Oh, it's mortified. Everybody finishes up and at the end, everybody sort of leaves the room and I'm like, What was going on?

And you're like, I just, I don't understand. I'm like, What did you not understand? You're like, I thought that you weren't allowed to touch her and she wasn't going to touch you. Why would he be with me if you weren't allowed to be with her?

And I'm like, Oh God, honey. That was a joke. How many shivers did you have? Oh my God, I know exactly what happened now.

So then we had to go into the other room and I'm like, hey guys, um, I know your ego is absolutely shattered. So, um, let me tell you what happened in there, because I know you're going to go back to your room and probably start off the conversation as soon as the door closes. What the fuck was that? And we told him that when we made that joke, you thought I was dead serious because you're high as fuck.

So this is why I've hired a team of lawyers. I'm going to sue Shivers. Yeah, because I don't think that um they need a communication warning. Yeah, there's no, there is nothing on the, on the label that says that your partner may not understand dry humor.

And I think it's really important. Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. Warning sarcasm may not be fully understood. Yeah, so, uh, thank you, shivers.

Uh, maybe put that on the box. We'll be depositioning somebody soon, sir, deposing. I'm so sorry you did not get to put it in. That was a big fail on us.

Um, that was my fault. Richard sometimes just can't really ever shut his mouth. And just, just be a normal person and talk like a human being. He has to act like he's doing a set on in Cancun, Mexico, in a penthouse, in a penthouse, acting like Matt LeBlanc or something.

I would just to sum it up, like I would say that having that conversation with all six of us, being at 4 o'clock in the morning, laughing, completely just vulnerable because we were. everything was finished. And just laughing through what had just happened was a really probably like one of my favorite things. These are awesome people.

They were so intelligent and funny and just we've kept in touch with them and like we didn't get to fuck, but it'll happen at some point. Like, who cares? That was funny. It's a story for their lives, but still suing shivers.

Canceling them like Blake Lively at this point. So, um, yeah, so sorry, guy. I know your, your ego and your prowess is down to about 0 right now and that is, that is Lauren's fault. It is not my fault or your wife's fault.

Take that blame and deny. You know, they'll they'll possibly be a next time. I don't think we'll ever see temptation like that again. I don't think that's ever going to happen again.

No, there's no way. I shouldn't even go back, to be honest. We just cut it off there. Yeah, yeah.

No, it's like, uh, it's like it's like when I went to, when I went to Disney World. I went to Disney World when I was a senior in high school. And then the next time I went back, I had one of those VIP passes, you know, where you walk around, you go to the front of the line. You can't ever go back.

You can't, you can't ever go back. It's you're done. It's just like, why? I mean unless you pay for it, but I had like a, I had, yeah, that was back when you were me, Matt LeBlanc, the Matt LeBlanc hanging out.

It just seemed and then we have a second little story, but first, if you want any of those shivers that make you forget and feel better, uh, go to shivers.store. How much do they get? 10% off. 10% off with the code what?

R7777 and it will make you remember things that you want to remember and forget the shit you don't want to remember. It's magical like that. It'll also make you feel good, good, good, good, good. We'll be right back.

Everyone, if you want to get into our pants virtually, you have to become a member. Go to room 77life.com and in the top click become a member. If you want to do us, this is your first step. If you wanna not do us and just support us, this is the perfect way to do it.

Go to our website and click become a member. If you want to get closer to yourself as a person and find the meaning. Of life, this is the first step. It's worth 5 bucks per month.

What does it do for you? I could tell you, but you wouldn't understand it's that deep. You just have to experience the feeling like hundreds of others. Go into our private Telegram chat group, ask them for yourself.

Ah, you see what I did there? You can't because you have to join to get in there. It's a catch-22. See, my father would call that a pile of shit.

I didn't wanna have to bring my dead father into this. You did that yourself, listener, and now I don't know any other way to feel better than for you to join. That's what we call guilt trip sale or as my father would also call pile of shit. All of these people who joined last month that we're gonna list right now, they.

Also want a free vacation. My girl crush, Nerds with a Feather, Lola, Michael Young, Peter, Jacqueline, Leonard, and MCO couple. That is a sale by deception because it's not true. Also rightfully called a pile of shit.

What's not a pile of shit is becoming a member. Go do it now at room 77life.com and click become a member at the top. We'll wait, we'll even pause this for you. Hey, Google, pause.

Alexa, pause podcast. Siri, pause podcast. That should cover it. Second story, 2nd cock blocking again, I mean, you look around, describe it.

Describe that, I mean the women describe that one woman. I don't know who she was, but she had the fake, the fake butt. It was, it was Megan Fox with a fake ass. Now you think fake ass and you think, I wouldn't, that's not attractive to me.

It was to me. It was to me. I'd hit that all day. It was a good.

It was a good one. That's why I don't care. Yeah, fake everything. I, I would have came all of that fake stuff.

I don't care. Maybe he was fake hair. I don't know, fake or not. It looked fucking great.

She was dancing and literally and figuratively. It was unreal. Unreal. Yeah, she was gorgeous.

There was the little new couple that was like I'm about to get to. Oh, OK. There was, I mean, that whole couch area of hot people. Yeah, they were just everywhere and everyone was so fit in full.

Costume, it was just everyone was like having a really good time and just and that was part of the hotness, you know, like there weren't people standing around being insecure. It was just like, oh, just kidding. I didn't notice them. Well it was me.

I was the one standing. I said one night. Well, I'm not gonna go into it, but there was a guy who threw up in a bucket. Oh, right, I heard that.

Yeah, that was me. Um, so there was this couple, the very first night we were there, we walked out into the open space. I spotted them and I was like, honey, oh my God, I love them so much. Look at them so much so that we.

Stopped, we doubled back. And I just threw out like a crazy compliment because I can't speak to women. I was like, I love your wings and me so scared. I just, I go into automatically like, I don't even know this lady.

Like I just start like, like I'm looking at the sky and checking out the security. Yeah, like looking at my watch like sound good. I'm only with her if this goes well. They were so pretty, both of them.

I mean, just magnificent, right? And then, and you try to talk to them, right? And then the night goes on and we see them all night long. They're always standing by themselves, right?

Having a good time though, but standing by themselves. No one's really talking to them. They're not really talking to anybody else. And I am stalking them with my eyes all night long.

That's probably why they're standing in the corner. Listen, what else do they want? You know, don't dress cute. Play hide and go seek with me.

This is, don't just stand in the same spot. Then maybe wear a mask to take down your cuteness. You're making it too easy, but they were adorable. I just, I can't say it enough.

I know. I don't even know how to describe them. Anyway. Second night comes, come down, see them again.

They didn't change, not from the second night. Still absolutely gorgeous. Nailed the costume. Costs like the costumes were to a T.

Cuteness to a T. Always never too drunk. You go over them, you start talking to them again. Again, they give you barely anything.

I stand behind you like I don't know you, and we proceed to our area and then we go back to our area and ignore them for the rest of the night. But I still stalk them. I still have my eyes on them. I watch them all night.

Nothing. Last night, come down, see them again. There they are, mocking us in their cuteness. I mean, they're even cuter the third night.

Maybe we're a little more desperate, but they were super cute. And now I'm, I'm up in the stalk mode because I mean, if they can't find a date after 3 nights, they're damaged. And that's perfect for us. They're obviously damaged.

We can work, we can work with damage. Yeah, I got you, so. So I'm like we have to find a way to talk to them. So now what we do is in a very stalkerish way we keep finding ways to pass them, which is great because they're right by the door.

It's not that hard. No, you're giving us a great excuse to keep walking by. I keep telling you to go get drinks that are not even in our area. Why, why go to outside bar when you can go to the inside bar?

No, always go inside. I need another water. That's right. Just go get me a regular Sprite.

Go ask if they have doctors to the room and pass. Go throw this out at that trash can at the corner. Do whatever just get near them. So it gets later and later and later.

This is our last night there we're going home in the morning when we're sitting in a corner, we're staring over there like I don't know, like what should we do? And by the way, we, I mean you, because I'm too much of a pussy. I think I actually said, why don't you walk up and start talking to him? You're like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

And I said, I'm going to go ask for water, but I'm going to go ask by the bar where they're standing, where there is not even really a bartender, but I'm going to wave them all the way down to the door area just so I can stand by them and I'm, I'm just going to start general conversation. I'm just going for it. Yeah, you are. And you did.

I did. Yeah. And before I know it, you're in a full on conversation. I did it, Richard, and you were with me to join.

No, I wasn't. So I'm, I'm literally like at least 70 ft away and I'm watching. I'm watching. I mean, you're pretty far away.

So I'm like, I'm trying to look in the distance. People are talking to me. It looks like I'm at an airport waiting for somebody to arrive. They're talking to me and they're talking to me and our friend, the one who usually hugs the, uh, hugs the newbies, who again, who I love.

So who's Lauren talking to? I'm like, no, nobody. Nobody. Nobody, they won't talk, they won't talk to nobody, nobody, no, no, no, no, no, just fuck off.

I was like, Oh, I'm just going to, I'm just going to hang back and you know, let her do her thing, but I'm sitting back there and then it's getting longer and longer and longer. And I'm like, All right, well, I'll just walk by because she's not turning around and waving me over. At this point, you may leave with them. I mean, they were just so chatty once you just start a conversation that there wasn't any one of those moments where you're like, All right, then, it's nice to meet you and leave.

We just full on started chatting. Yeah, so easy, right? Eventually I walk over there. I feign the surprise like, where have you been?

I don't even think I was like, where have you been? I was just like, I was just like, hey, you had my water, you never came back with my water, which is true, kind of, but I really didn't need the water. So, um, we start talking, he starts, uh, telling a story, really funny story. We start chatting and chatting and chatting and chatting.

Now this is where I blame you. And if I could blame. Givers, I would, but this is where I blame you. At some point, we're, we're having a really good time and just talking, and he goes away.

He gets us shots and comes back with shots, right? And we do the shots and then you, right after the shots go, All right, guys, it was nice meeting you. Have a great night. No, someone said something.

Yeah, there was something that happened that was like awkward posy. No, no. Oh no, no, nothing really happened. I think it was just the drinks.

It was like, it's like for you, you were like toasting them goodbye, toasting my smartness goodbye and my skills, and I'm processing that in my head while it's happening in real time. Because the drink happened, you basically put the cup down. You were like, All right, guys, great talking to you. Have a great night.

Are you sure he didn't say it was nice to meet you? And I took that as like, it was nice to have met you. Please leave. Maybe he said it in the toast, like maybe toasted to it or something.

I don't know. It's so funny. You excuse yourself from the conversation that we've been trying to have for 3 days. We walk 40 ft away alone.

They're standing there alone, and I look at you and I'm like, honey, I think, um, I think when he went and, and, and got those drinks, I think that was maybe his way of saying, hey, let's hang out a little bit more, but I, I think, I think we should go back. So you're like, you know what? I think you're right. Let's go back.

We turn around, our friend is talking to him. Our friends talking to them, we're like, get your damn hands off of them. Get your damn hands off of them. So we're, we stood there, they talked to them for a good 5 minutes too.

Now we're waiting for them to because they said we're going to go, we're gonna, we're going to go to sleep, guys. And we're like, All right, go to sleep, we're gonna try to molest that really hot couple. And they go back and they start talking. Them on the way, way out and they talk to them for like 5 minutes and we wait and we wait and we wait.

So they're finally alone. I turn to you and I go, All right, do you want to go back? And you're like, Yeah, let's go back. I turn around and they're gone, gone, gone, poof.

Like what happened? I just saw you. David Blaine couldn't have done it that well. Oh my God.

gone and we're looking around like we've lost our child. Like what? Where, where she's about this tall. Yeah, I mean, we're looking everywhere.

We're looking under furniture like what just happened? We did. We made a full circle of bash. We're like, oh, it's crazy.

I mean, we turned our heads. It couldn't have been more than 15 seconds. No, it's like a, it was like a pow wow, go team. Let's, you know, focus, focus, her, uh, huddle, is that what they call it?

Yeah. Oh well, I guess it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. I guess we're stuck with each other again. Obviously we go back to the room, have sex with one another, which was great.

We did have, we did have great sex there and we're checking out the next day and who comes up in the hall. Like what the amount of people that are at that hotel at this time. He walks up and he says, Oh, you guys are leaving today. And we're like, yeah, hey, I, what happened to you last night?

Because we had walked over to our spot and we're like, we're bored, we want to go back and talk to you guys, and we had seen you there and we turned around and you were gone. Oh yeah, you know what? We were bored too. We actually just.

Wound up walking up towards like the, the hot tub area and there was really just to people watch because there was really nothing to do. And we were like, oh man, because we're just gonna, we're just going to come back and tell you, you know, there's much going on and we're going to say, if you guys want to just come back to our room and have some fun, let's just, let's just do that. And he's like, you know what, probably would have taken you up on that. I'm like, nothing.

Fuck her. So what is the moral? What is the moral of this story? The moral of the story is when people toast, don't leave.

No, no, I don't think that's the moral of the story. I think the moral of the story is don't, don't overthink it. I really think, I think that a lot of times we cock block ourselves by overthinking things. And we could have just hung out and been like, but we're insecure being thinking we were hindering.

Their time and when they could have perfectly excused themselves. Well, you get in this position where you get in your head and you think like, I'm not good enough for these people. I'm not bringing up, I'm not going to make any sexual innuendos because I don't want to embarrass myself. But then you think about those men or those women who are absolutely disgusting.

And you're like, They'll hit on anything. They'll hit on anything up, straight up ask anytime, anyway. And you think, yeah, that's at least they're getting an answer right away, right? They don't themselves at all.

No, why would they? But it's that, it's that fear of, it's that fear of rejection that, that gets, that gets in our way. Their faces live in my head. And, and I know that they have, they have no idea we do a podcast.

No idea. No, they'll never hear this in a million years. So I just want to say now, I love you guys. I love you.

All I know is they live in Texas. Uh, don't be scared. When you have one job. Just do it, right?

And, uh, when I start conversations, maybe check in. Excuse me one second. Let me just wave my husband over. Just maybe send a text.

I could have launched the water bottle and just be like, hubby, come here, come meet these adorable people. You know what goes through a person's head when you're when you're having those conversations? Like I'm on the other side all by myself, by the way, what are they talking about? Oh, I thought you were thinking in their heads because I.

It would have been like if I was in their heads, I would have been like, why does she not care that her husband's not with her? They're for sure thinking that. Yeah, they're just like, you're a sleazy bitch. They're for sure thinking, what a horrible wife.

Where's your husband? I don't care. Who cares? Probably throwing up in a bucket.

Threesomes are way more fun. Throwing up in a bucket. Yeah, but you do. You're like, what are they saying?

Yeah, I do. I sit there and I'm like, What are they saying? Oh, she just, she just touched his shoulder. What did she just say?

Is it getting flirty already or are they just, is that benign conversation? Are they talking about, are they talking about me? Maybe you show him pictures? Are they flirt?

Are they not flirting? I don't know what's happening. And you usually walk up and so much less has happened than you actually thought. Like, what are you guys talking about?

We're talking about the roads in Texas, huh, for 10 minutes. And I was like, you bought that cowboy hat on Amazon, but you're from Texas. Why wouldn't you just bring one? You look, it looks really good on you.

I don't wear it at home because I, what I do whatever for a living. Uh, I don't remember their names. Not that I would say them anyway, but if you know who you are or anybody knows this couple that we're talking about, find them, bring them to me, please. You'll win a prize.

If I could put a bounty on them, I would. I don't even know if I could draw them to a sketch artist. Yeah, I don't know if I could. I would describe her as looking like I would wind up drawing Ariana Grande.

That's who I'd wind up drawing. Very good. And there's no redemption here. We don't get anything back.

I asked the hotel for our money back. We wanted a refund. I had to only have sex with my wife. Can I get a refund?

Yeah, I didn't quite understand where it was coming from after that 4 hour fight at the front desk. No, I came here to have sex with other couples. And the first couple didn't understand a joke. And then the second couple, they left, and I couldn't find them.

So. I would like a refund, please. I don't know what was unclear. That is it.

We have to pack up. This is true. We really got to pack it up. And I mean that in, in the literal sense.

Well, we have to. I, I wanted to have all my clothes packed by today. Oh, that's not gonna happen. Yeah.

Well, listen, uh, I wish you nothing but sex, and I'll see you at the event and good luck and Godspeed to all of you and be less sarcastic. We are back. We may sound a little bit different to our loyal listener, and maybe there are some things that I should explain really quickly. So after the event, you lost your voice, as usual.

So we could not record or finish the actual podcast that we had started. So we had to wait for you to get it back. The problem with that is we had to go. On the Temptation cruise within 4 days.

So we, we couldn't do it. So we are now in our, our aquatic studio. We took our wireless mics with us and we are doing it in the room. And I really honestly, I want to get this finished because I'd rather be out there doing stuff.

But I also don't want to cut. The person who does listen to this short. We also may sound different because of the dehydration, lack of sleep, and no one really cares. Let's, let's just get on with it.

So this intro to the to the next segment, this is actually took place at our event where you lost your voice. One of the things that we did this event and it happened by accident. Was clone a Willie. Explain what Clone Willie is.

Clone Willie is, it's like a trademark toy, a sex toy thing that you buy at, you can buy it at tabootoys.com. And it is a plaster cast that you fill with silicone that you can make a copy of your husband's penis or anyone's penis, really, right, right. So you can clone a penis, not clone like the movie Multiplicity, but like Free Willy. No, Free Willy was about a whale, completely different movie.

You don't want to clone that. It wasn't even about cloning. You're, you're, oh, I see. Yeah, I get it.

That's lack of sleep. Sorry, go ahead. You can make a copy of your husband's penis, and we had a person that had already done this a few times, and I know why, because his penis is absolutely gorgeous. It should be cloned.

It's it's like a penis that you would use to make dildos from. It's beautiful. It has perfect girth, perfect symmetry, curvature. The head is beautiful.

I did take the clone, touch it, feel it, and slap it on my face. This is actually us at the hotel and we are going to the function. We're taking a walk and we're going up to the function. We reached out to Taboo Toys.

We're like, hey, what are the possibilities that you would sponsor this, this thing. So this is actually brought to you by Taboo Toys. They provided us with the clone of Willie also went around while Lauren was dealing with the cock. And I was going around talking to some people, so we talked to some guests.

There is a part in here where we do touch on necrophilia and a woman who jerked off a stallion. So, if you're not interested in the clone the willy, I would stay tuned for, for the couple that are necrophilia, who I never thought would a, would meet, only because I never thought that anyone would admit it. You have a great interviewing style, Richard. That's why.

Yeah, they, uh, they were happy to, to admit that was their, their jam to overshare. But hey, live and fuck the dead. This is us at the hotel. Take a listen.

I hope you enjoy. All right, Lauren, you ready? I think I am. You have the phone.

I have taboo toys, cards. I have a bikini addiction bag. Like I'm just a walking billboard at this point. All you, all you need now is a big dick.

Let's go. Let's go. All right, so right now we are in the hall. That's what the echoes are, and we are at the event and we are going up to do the clone the Willie, which is the taboo toys where you can clone your anus.

Or anyone's penis really anyone's doesn't have to be yours. Yeah, like I may clone this guy's penis and take it home with me. That's what she said. She's like, you can, you can make one of him and take it home when he's here, why don't you just take him home with you?

Well he can't stay here. I mean, I could try it on for a night, but yeah. Do they really do they wind up white because I wonder if you could have them painted flesh color. We have a flesh color.

We have a brown. We have also two neons for that alien kind of. I don't know if you want to go the glow night, neon penis. I get it.

All right, now we're getting into the elevator and we're pressing the top floor, just going to the top pool area where we hold happy hour because it's 4 o'clock. It's actually 4:30 and we're late. Actually may have started without us. I don't think that people are keeping track of time, Richard.

I'm keeping track of time. Time is your jam. Time is not my jam, and I don't think these drunk people, they're not all drunk. Some of them are on drugs.

We're about to walk into the happy hour. Uh, this is a really cool space because it's, it is a rooftop pool and we get to watch the sunset up here. It's a giant pool that's heated, so it's super fun. Hello sir, how are you?

Are you having a really good time so far? Having a great time. Is this your first time here? First time.

Is it everything that you thought it would be? It is more than what I thought it would be. Really? Would you, would you tell your friends to come here?

Yes, thank you, all of them. You're a handsome man. You're here with a very beautiful wife, and we appreciate you being here. We appreciate the invite.

You're, you're making us look really, really good. Cannot wait to come to the next one. I appreciate it. I hope you do.

Hey, there he is. Wait, what is that? This is for your butt. Honestly, like, actually it's a microphone.

You're being recorded right now. Oh, I am. So what do you want to ask me? I know that your knee is hurting you right now.

You had an accident. Yeah, I had a big accident. Yeah, I mean, but I forego it to come to this amazing party. We appreciate you making the effort.

I really do. But. Deformed, but it's OK. Therapeutically, do you think you healed a little bit faster?

100%. I agree 100%. I agree 10%. I was going to say he's moving faster.

Yeah, I saw the limp go away a little bit, yeah, even though even though I'm limited, I can we'll have fun. Yeah, I've noticed. I've noticed that you have. Thank you guys.

Thank you guys so much for being here. No, thank you. All right, so we're outside right now and there is some fluffage going on at the moment. Instructions already.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Are you performing the clone of Willie? I am on your husband. Yes, I am.

I have to say I'm looking at the cock now. It is a gorgeous cock. It is. I love it.

I'm madly in love with that cock. What is the first thing that we have? To do to this cock. And by the way, it can't be easy doing this in front of 100 fucking people.

No, it's not, it's not, but thankfully my husband loves me and will do anything for me. What is the first step? Place the tube next to an erect penis. OK, we have an erect penis.

OK, it's getting there. It's getting there. OK. And then we need to place the tube next to the erect penis with the open end to you.

And mark 3/4 beyond the tip of the penis. OK, so let's do that. I just want to let the listener know she can read. It's just that the print is super, super small.

So then the next step, oh, OK, I'm blind. OK. OK, so then after we do this we're gonna hold the temperature, the thermometer under the tap water. Do not use microwave because it gets too hot.

Thank God we don't have one. Yes, thank God. So you hold it until it's 90 degrees and then after it's 90 degrees you're gonna mix the plaster, turn it all together for 45 seconds. After 45, no, no, no.

Step 2, step 2 is the plaster, hot water and plaster. All right, the cock, the cock is inside the tube. The cock is inside the tube. You always have a scowl on your face.

Smile. Don't make fun of my face. I'm not making fun of it. I'm.

Why do I feel worse? Because I'm sad that you have a scowl. You should have a big smile. Then talk to my parents.

You know how to smile. Is that it? I just wanted to ask you, have you learned anything yet? You're here at the clone the Willie.

Did you learn anything yet? You pump it up. Good, good, good. I mean, good.

You learned something. I learned pumping. What have you learned so far about the clone the willie? You keep backing away from the mic.

I'm trying to get away from the mic. I feel like I'm suck. This is, this is actually how I have sex too. I just keep shoving it in your face.

I want to clone my willy, OK. Did you know that they can actually take the cremation of a man and mix it into a clone a willy. So if your husband dies, you can you send his ashes to a company and you have sex with your dead husband. Yes, that's called necrophilia.

Well, we can introduce you to somebody who has necrophilia since you're already in the mood for it. Someone has necrophilia. Hi, I heard somebody here has necrophilia. Is this true?

You're very specific. Hold on. So she knows the rule that if she dies, you have to be dead, if she dies before me, that I am going to have sex with her corpse. OK, yes, OK, and I'll just use an MRE heater.

Anybody that's in the military knows what that is. I'll just I'm just gonna stick an MRE heater in her, warm her up, and then I'm going to have sex with her corpse. I only have, I only have a few questions. By all means.

Does it matter how she dies? No, it doesn't matter how she dies. I mean, as long as that half is still there. So, so if half of her torso is gone, if that half is intact, it's still, it's still happening.

It's. How do you feel about this? You know, I'm going to be dead, so, right, but you know now I've always thought it was a little weird, but I've just come to terms with it. That it's in a loving way that you are like he's not trying to be creepy, he just wants me one last little bit trying to be creepy.

He just is creepy. So you're gonna get raped after you does this work both ways? So if he goes first, I have to cremate him and create a dildo out of his ashes. Yeah, I just learned this.

So that's necrophilia by proxy through dildo. I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah. You two are fucked up. That's awesome.

I love it. Yeah, are you into anything like this? No, no. What is the weirdest thing you're into?

I'm asking the wrong person. What is the weirdest thing that she's into? It's probably her maximum capacity is 55 guys, 5 guys. I mean, I have that fantasy too.

I, I want that to happen for my wife. It's, it's something that we talk about. It was, it was like a lot. Well, I'd like to be there.

I mean, I'd like to be one of the 5, me and 4 others. I feel like that's a given. Also, 5 Guys does make a pretty good burger. I don't know if you ever do.

The french fries are awesome. Yeah. Have you ever had your cock cloned? No, we need a couple kits for him.

It's being cloned now. What do you think so far? The it's working out fine. There's a And he's still hard afterwards, so they must have done a good job fluffing.

I have a question for you. Tell me, your dick cloned. I have not had my dick cloned, but I did have it trademarked. I have a stamp on it, never change.

Technically you can't have it cloned. Yeah, well, you can have it cloned and then you can, and then you can sell the product, then China starts copying it. From your wife talking online, she said you have a sizable cock. Somewhat, yes.

Do you think that you would fit in the tube that the clona Probably not with the silicone, no, really, maybe not. What are the chances that we can see your cock right now? I mean, it's not doing much of anything. Well, could you at least fluffed it up before that was, that was pretty, that was a pretty thick cock even though.

It you had bigger than that my wrist. Jesus, you got Richard's attention, you motherfucker. Hey, hey, we get in this argument all the time. He wanted to clone his, and I'm like, I don't want another one of those.

I want smaller. Do you have, I want smaller. Just yes, that's me all the time. That's what I'm here for.

And what about getting head? Is that also a problem? There's almost always teeth involved, always, almost always. I can.

You need to find. Conveniently, I have enough nerve damage that it works out for me. Fantastic. Uh, you need to meet more meth heads.

That's what you need to meet. That's what I heard. What is your story? My story is in vet school, I had to collect stallion like necrophilia, a stallion semen talking about a huge cock.

You had to had a stallion. I had to collect a semen. That is scary, ma'am, you belong in this group over here. With the necrophilias.

It was, it was extremely scary because I thought maybe he was gonna mount me. That, it was very terrifying. Again, a few questions. How long did he last?

Not very long, like 2 minutes. You know why? Because he doesn't give a fuck. Well, there was a mirror in front of him that they'd like tease him with.

And then when he goes up to jump on her, you put the sleeve over and help. He can't go in her, obviously. And then he ejaculates. How much ejaculate are we talking about here?

Probably 1/2 a cup. 1/2 a cup. Do you have a preference. Just the volume.

Do you want a cupful like the stallion? she gets off, no, I don't, I don't care. My, my goal is to make him come. I don't care how much is in there.

Do you know how big the load is going to be when you're dead and he puts it inside? She'll be, she'll be a spirit looking down on us. I mean, it's just gonna be humongous. Good luck with the police on that.

Hey man. Hey, did you learn anything today? I learned a lot. Like what?

Like anything fun? I learned that foam gets everywhere. Foam does get everywhere in all the places, but we made it fun. But I was, I was talking more about the clone clone the willet.

Did you watch it? I didn't. I missed it. I was, I was apparently I was requested for me to be there, but would you get your, your, your cock, uh, clones?

I think I could, yeah. I'd have to stay hard the whole time. That's the trick, isn't it? I've seen you hard here a lot.

I'm hard right now. I, I can tell. OK, it's sticking through your pants. I'm touching my knee.

Yes, don't move. Why didn't you get it done today? I fully expected that you would get it done today because you're probably the least shy guy here. I don't know.

Sounds like I'm interviewing an NFL player after a game. Everyone was counting on me. I didn't show up today. Maybe tomorrow.

We just got to. on Buffalo next week. So for the record, for the listener who is listening, this man does have a nice cup, and I've seen it hard multiple times. It's a lot coming from you.

Yeah, and I think you should, I think you should get a clone. I really do. I will. OK.

Do you promise? I'll be here. You know I have medicine that will take care of anything that if you fail to stay up. I have something that will keep you up.

I'm not sure I'll need it, but you know where to go for that. I know where to go if I need it though. OK, what room are you again? 77?

I am in room 77. OK, fantastic. I know where to go. Please, will, Lauren, here we are with the finished product.

Let me hold on to this thing. Holy right? I know. I am not this.

I can tell I'm not this. That's what I know. I know this by the finger. Why is my penis going to hurt?

I can't, I can't touch my fingers. God damn it, I want this. jealous. I'm so jealous.

You have no idea. Wearing this around. Hold on, don't judge me for this, but I just, I just have to feel it. It's fantastic.

Oh, you did such a great job. And there's no way I could go home with this, right? Oh, we're going to make you one. We'll send you one as a souvenir.

Lauren, could you, uh, could you fuck me with this tonight? I certainly can. You can borrow it tonight. We can borrow it.

This is, this is gorgeous. It really is. The clone of Willie. I wish I had one to put next to it so that you could see how demoralizing this is for me right now, you know.

She was like, well, take it out, let me say it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, it is a cloned, hard, beautiful cock, and you want me to pull out my flaccid penis in front of happy hour. Let me tell you what's not gonna happen. Absolutely not.

Listen, it, it turns out really nice. I was surprised how detailed it looks and how cool it looked. You may have to get an extra silicone just to get it right. It does take a little practice and you have to be really still.

That's why we wanted to do the demonstration. So how much was the pack? I think it's like 60 bucks. 60 bucks, 60 bucks.

All right, where did they get it? Tell them. Thank you. Well, first of all, thank you, Taboo Toys for doing all of that.

That was really nice. Thank you. Go to Taboot Toys, that's spelled you because you do you. Go to tabootoys.com, use room 77 and you'll get 15% off.

You can collect them and hand them out like calling cards after you're finished. Say you're welcome. Here is a copy of me to use later or. Or you can take a kit along with you to whoever you hook up with and say this will just take a moment and you collect everyone that you've been with, and you set them up on your mantle at your home from left to right.

A dick garden, a dick garden. That's beautiful, Lauren, with a chronological date. I love it. I don't know why I don't market it like that.

Brilliant. On to the next. All right, so here we are back. On the ship, not our ship, but the Temptation ship.

We'll, we'll probably talk about this in another episode, but, you know, since we're here so far, it's been nothing like I expected it to be. Uh, there's a million people here. I mean, well, there might as well be a million people. To us it's a million.

2000 is a million people when you live in a small. Quite happy with the room that we're in, but, uh, having a really good time. The crowd is, is, is also different than I thought they would be. I'm trying to get you to flirt and be as slutty as you can.

You're In shy mode. I think because it is so overwhelming. So I was just like, just be open. And then that worked well until a couple tried to rape you last night on the dance floor.

And then she starts on me and I'm like, Oh, girl, no. I look at her with a confused look like I work in a department store. Can I help you? And she leans in and she says, can we dance with you?

And I said, No, we're good. Three songs later. I'm Larry David in at a at a Temptation cruise. No, we're good, we're good.

Thank you. There are a lot of wonderful people that we've met. There's probably wonderful people that we haven't met, but we will be on this, the next Temptation cruise as well in November. I don't even know where that goes, but we're supposed to be still like it goes Dominican and Bahamas, and I don't care, honestly, I probably don't get off the boat, but, uh, we'll be on that one.

Also, Sin still has some rooms left in October. Make sure you. Go to room 77life.com. Get your room now.

October 6th through 11th, 6th through 11th. Um, you can also go to room 77events.com. And if you want to book the Temptation cruise, you can email me at on room77life.com. Either one of those.

Yeah, come with us in November on the cruise because this is too much to do alone. Come be one of the 2000. Let's make a little gang. Can we have a like name?

Well, yeah, we don't have to come up with it now. But, but yeah, but we'll for sure get tattoos before we get. Yeah, but we're gonna get neck jackets. No, neck tattoos.

No, we're not. If we're coming in, we're coming in strong. No fucking around. Our brains are dead.

Thank you for enduring. We love you all. If anybody's wondering, no, we have not fucked anybody yet. Yeah, maybe we'll tell you if we do in the next 13 more nights, 2 more nights.

I don't know. Lauren, say goodbye to the lovely person. Uh, we love you so much. Next time, if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go leave a positive review.

Or for more information, go to room 77life.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.