Ep. 91: All That Temptation Ship!

Lauren Marty from Teaneck, New Jersey wants to know if you like it when a man has a scent like a cologne. I do sort of like it. I have known to have allergies, but I have also been known to say, can I keep that shirt? Does it turn you on more if a man has a scent?

I do, yeah, I like, I think I do have a pheromoney type way. Does it bother you that I don't wear any scent except soap? No, you have a scent. No, no, no, no, I don't mean, I don't mean body odor.

I mean like a cologne, like AXE body spray. No, um, but you, yeah, I guess they don't have to smell like AXE body spray, but you do have like a soap slash um your deodorant has a smell to it. Listen, a guy comes into your space and he's wearing a fragrance that he bought, right? Does that make you more prone to Yes, absolutely.

It does. Then why don't you tell me to wear cologne? Because your deodorant has a cologne in that it's deodorant, but it has a cologne in it. No, it doesn't.

That's deodorant. That's for my, that's for my armpits. But you're you're saying that I can smell it. That's how sensitive.

He goes, go with me. It smells like a fragrance. It has a fragrance in it, like an AXE body spray would. It's the same thing.

I've told girls that you smell so good and they're like, it's my shampoo. Well, no, that's hair. I mean, I could see that happening. Have you ever heard this?

You smell good. What is that degree? Have they said that? No.

So you have a first smell, which is your own pheromones. Then you have a secondary smell, which is shampoo, deodorant, things that are necessary. And then you have a third level smell, which is a cologne or a body spray or something that you put on to say, hey, my nether regions smell like this. Does that tip you over the edge?

It smells good. And I think I think, should I? I mean, I know I'm old, but I still feel like, should I be doing that? I like it.

I think you should. So AXE body spray. No, use the Creed I bought you. It smells good to me.

It doesn't really make much of a difference to me whether you're going to fuck them better. I don't care what they smell like. I care if they smell like a skank. That makes a difference.

But like if, if, if she walks up to me and she smells like nothingness, like she's more dolce than she is like Bulgari, you're not going to be like, mm, no idea what either of those scents are. She's hot, she walks up to me, she is smell normal level normal, right? She's in tier 2 though. She's tier 2.

She's got her shampoos and. Yeah, whatever. Let's just even lower the bar more. She does not smell like a homeless person.

That's the bar. That's bar one. That's one. She does not smell like a homeless person.

I look at her and I'm like, I hate that. OK, now situation two, same girl walks up to me. She smells like a bouquet of flowers. At no point do I go, Oh, I'm gonna fuck her harder.

So to me it's useless. I don't, I don't understand. But if you're saying that if I put on some AXE body spray, that women are going to be like, I need to hit that dick, then I'll, I'll do, I'll do a bottle a day. I don't know.

You can't do that. That's too much. We don't want to like suffocate in your AXE body spray, but just a little like poop, and that's gonna say, let me get some D. If, if a woman wants to be with me just for my scent, I find that shallow, and I don't think I want to be with her.

So I think what I learned about you today is that you're shallow. 77 is how it is said in British English, 77. In American English it would be pronounced as 77, 7777. All right, Lauren, what's up?

You look good. Are you hitting on me a little bit. I'm good. I'm good.

How are you? Tell me something new. My toe's broke. It's actually not new, but it's new that we're going to try to get it fixed.

Checking the boxes, Richard. It's time. Today we are talking about all of that temptation shit, the cruise, right? So we're also going to talk about, uh.

Penises. We're gonna talk about penis augmentation. I'm gonna go through a penis augmentation. That's not true, but I might.

I don't know. I'm not. I don't know. I don't know scary.

It really is. I keep looking at horror stories and I keep looking at other photos, but then we're gonna talk about that. And I'm just, we're going to talk about our event and just partying in general, and we're also going to talk about drugs. Oh, we're going to talk about speaking of drugs, New Jersey, my home state.

We're going there. We are going to, uh, Liquid Lust in Cherry Hill, New Jersey in July. What are the dates? July 25th, 27th.

It's by, it's by friction parties. It's their Liquid Lust pool party event, which is super like, it's their one of their biggest, I think she said. I don't know. It's the biggest.

We are going to go there and we are going to do two things. We're going to have an amazing time and also try to not run into immediate or extended family members. That's the town next to where I did most of my growing up, right? So this is something that I've never done before.

No, you never lifestyled. You didn't know lifestyle back then. Well, no, no, you didn't until I thought about it in a, in a different way. Well, yeah, I mean, I think that's we had had this conversation about me too, but it wasn't until me too.

You got me too. And then, yeah, before we move on, I just want to say, I'm really sorry. I know we're late, and it's because Lauren got sick and I'm not blaming on her. It's because then I got sick.

And then we still had enough time to finish. But then what happened is I just gave up on life. And that's a true story. Like what you, I don't know you, but sometimes we go through those points in life where you're like, I just give up.

You freeze and you don't know what to do because there's so many things to do. There's so many things to do that I just said, I am going to become a professional internet browser. You became best friends with AI is what you did. I don't know why they call it artificial.

It's real. Did you name your AI? Yeah. All right, but I want to say you said speaking of drugs, we're going to friction parties in July, and that is we will be there with our sponsor Shivers.

I already said that you didn't say that, ma'am. Do you need me to have the, uh, can you hit the replay? I'm going to do it for you and then you have to come back live and apologize to all 100,000 listeners. OK.

Lauren, we're back and as we are gathered here today, I pronounce to you. And our 100,000 listeners. I'm sorry, I did not say it. I thought I did, and I apologize for that.

Tell them, uh, what you were going to say. We're going to go to the friction party with our sponsor Shivers. So that'll be fun. We're going to both get together again after flirt and, um, just, I don't know, pass out drugs.

Maybe we can pass them out to your family as well. I think your sister could do well with them. It's so gross. Last time we spoke to one another was, I believe, on a ship.

It was our first cruise ever together and wow, what a cruise it was. Yeah, we met the perfect couple on this cruise, 2 out of like 2000 people, and it was too late. We met them too late, and this is because of a mix of chaos and time. Timing and overcrowded situation and a lot of distraction and a guy named Trent.

We just were not on the right trajectory to have our destiny fulfilled. And this is one of the things we learned about cruises. We had a lot of learning to do. We hated it so much that we are going back in November.

We had absolutely no time. We went straight from the event, well, not straight. We had 4 days in between, but it was a lot. So we never really got to talk about the event.

So let's do that. Let's do it now. 123, go. In fact, we'll compare the two.

Our event wins. Why? Because it's our event. Obviously, we're not going to be fair and balanced.

You really thought we were going to be serious. I'll say this, if you're looking for something that floats better. There the island, it's been there longer. We win.

We'll try to be fair and balanced. Let's just give them a few of the great things that we had and then they can decide for themselves. You're right, because here's the real deal. The main hotel is sold out for really for October, yeah, for October.

So we're not trying to hard sell here or anything, but we do want you to come to the Overflow hotel because it was a lot of fun. So we'll just give you a great breakdown because I know there was a lot of people who wanted to go who couldn't, and I know you're waiting. This episode because you want the update. Yeah, well, the thing, I'm just going to say this real fast about overflow.

The thing that's great is you don't have to go for all 5 days. If you can't make it, come for 3, come for 4. And that's kind of a positive about staying in the overflow. Yeah, and I'll also say this about overflow.

We've done the math and it is longer to, when you're staying inside of temptation and you're staying inside of desire RM, it is longer to walk the distance from your room. Room to the main parts of that hotel than it is to walk to the event Hotel to the overflow Hotel. They're that close together. So it's, it's actually closer and we float better if we're talking about equidistance with a cruise, forget about it.

Holy shit. Holy moly, Jesus, call me a taxi. OK, so the, the event, not a great crowd and I was afraid. I was too because the last one was so great.

And then there were some people who had been before. This one had a lot of new people. Had a lot of new people. So we were like, oh no, I hope that it's good, right?

Yeah, I thought, I thought, oh man, new people are going to show up and it's not going to be as good as last time. People are going to be like, oh, it was so great last time. But it wound up being almost better. And that kind of surprised me.

There was people that brought their friends, which is always great. Yeah, that's, I think that's the clicker for me. People bring their friends and that's how we grow. And it's a similar vibe.

So it keeps the vibe the same. It's just with, Better, not better people. Sorry. Last, no, better people.

There are a couple of assholes there. There's a few assholes. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Well, it's hospitality for you. Um, but yeah, it was, they all partied like, uh, rock stars and were full of grace and it was just a good mesh, a good vibe, good synergy. As far as behind the scenes, this one. It was my toughest, my toughest event ever.

There was more behind the scenes stress going on simultaneously trying to hide it from the guests, which was almost impossible because it was so much stress happening in real time that everybody was asking, what is wrong with you? Richard, why are you smoking 3 cigarettes at the same time? I thought you quit. Shut up.

You're always carrying around a glass of bourbon and ice. You're smoking a pipe now. What's happening? Oh my God.

Um, there was a lot of, a lot of stuff that was happening. It was just uncontrollable stuff that was just like, well, some of the funnier things are like the, I don't know if any of them. I mean, some internal things that were happening that were keeping my face in a position in a, in a full on bitch position. Most of the time.

It had nothing to do with 99.9% of the guests. Yeah. Except one. It was a great party.

Um, theme nights were great. That again, the playroom is always, it's always such a huge hit. Always proud to watch it alive and running like the naked circus that it is. I know it's not like, oh, it's a sponsor, but Taboo Toys, the sex swing always gets the most praise.

People love that thing. I'll put the link in the show notes for you guys. And Shivers was there. They were, they were there.

The party, we did the bikini addiction thing. The thing that I remember about it most is the new people that we met. Like, we met new people that are now new friends. Yeah, that's what happened.

Event that I left with the most new chat groups. Yeah, I mean, let's see how long they last. You know what I mean, see if they're real friends. Some we still talk to, some faded away because they're just fake friends.

Kevin, um. Not that Kevin. You're my real friend Kevin. The other Kevin, my best friend, my best friend Kevin.

Where are you, Kevin? Remember us? You're gonna text us. So yeah, but no, we, we met a lot of people there's, there's a few of them I'm just really, really happy we met and are now friends with and beginning relationships with.

And, uh, in fact, we just spoke to, this is a couple at the event we just spoke to, we've been speaking to them a lot lately, and they just called us last night and they were high on mushrooms and decided to call us. And it was sounds like a waste of time, which it was for us, not for them. But, what is time? Yeah, there was no time for them, um, but, uh, no, I, I genuinely, genuinely enjoy them.

I also now want to do whatever shrooms they were doing because that sounded really, really fun. There's like a lot of people are microdosing shrooms now. It's like the thing that people are talking about it at the event, you know what, um, shivers is doing, put out a, um, shrumi thing. They're going to do a new shivers that's not THC based but has the silo, which is.

The active ingredient in the mushrooms, so they're going to swap ingredients. I just want to laugh and giggle like they were. So if it does that, I'm good. Also, if you are a drug addict or have a government job, it won't show up on your blood test.

So are you on probation? Then shiver, new shivers are for you. Yeah, just fun fact, coming your way. Buy shivers.

Check them out next month, I think. So stay tuned. Also, saw a lot of shivers on the, the cruise because they are easy to get on a ship. We're going to get to that later.

I'm being a bunny. I'm jumping ahead right now. So since we've already won, not much of a contest, and you want to go to Sin 2025, what do they do, Lauren? Get them into that overflow hotel, get them to the best party there is in Mexico.

Go to room 77events.com or I'll put it in the show notes and just click the link and it will take you there. Come by event passes, come join us. Yeah, any questions, reach out. See you there.

Before we move on, pay some bills here really quickly, just stay with us. We have some good news and maybe some bad news, not terrible. A bikini addiction, great news. Here's the good part.

New, new pattern, awesome, amazing new pattern. Glorian, Glorian, Glorian, Lauren's way of saying orange. Here's the great news. It's amazing.

Here's the bad news. In the time that it launched, it's already sold out. That's how popular they are. I mean, look, if you want the best bikini in the biz, you gotta, you gotta pay attention.

So here, Lauren, how do they get one if they weren't able to get one? We didn't even have time to put it on the podcast, even though it was broken down. This thing launched, I think 2 days ago, and it's, it's already gone. So we didn't even have a chance.

If you missed out, you can go create your own limited edition at any moment. in time. By Bikini Addiction's custom bikini site, they have an entire site with over 200 fabrics to choose from. And you can choose the fabric, you can mix it with a different trim, you can even adjust the cut by inches just to make it fit your body perfectly.

Um, and even if you have a penis. I'm just saying it's a different time. We're living in a different time. I actually just bussed at them about the addicted line.

I tried to, I tried to get a GoFundMe going for this machine that they need. We need. I know, get ted. I know, and she's still giving me resistance, but in.

We're going to start the GoFundMe, I think next year for that machine. Next year is a little too late, but I'll tell you what, if I get the augmentation. Yeah, the addicted, it's going to be based on your penis. Anyway, you can build a custom bikini suit at any moment, top and bottom, by going to bikiniadddiction customs.com.

And it's like a speakeasy for the truly addicted. So you have to have a password to even get into the website. Addicted, get it in. I'm just, I can't stop.

That's not the password, but check the show notes. I'll put it in there for you. And if you want to save 10%, don't use that room 77 code like you use on the. website, you have to join our Patreon and send me a message and I'll send you the secret code.

But I'm just saying, if you saw a male bathing suit with a really great package in it, right, and it just said, dick it, get it in, you would know kind of what we're talking about, right? Yeah, I'm just saying. All right. 2nd, 2nd thing, taboo toys.

In the last segment, we talked about the sex swing that does so well at the parties. We Really encourage you guys to go grab this thing. It, it's pretty amazing. We encourage everyone to swing.

Well, the thing I love about this one is it's actually like a giant piece of leather, so you're not in there, sort of in the dark trying to put straps on 19 different straps in different places and figure out where your feet go and all this stuff. It's like, it's a real freaking sex swing and it's withstood. Thousands of people swinging on that thing. So many hours.

Yeah, we're advocates of swinging. It's a swing. How does it not work? That's it.

Go to tabootoys.com, save 15% by using our promo code room 77, and I'll put it in the link down below in the show notes. That's it. Let us tell you about this special, wonderful couple that we did not get to fulfill our density. Not only are they both gorgeous.

Everyone's always like, 01 was nice. They're both drop dead gorgeous. But the best part is they're gorgeous people inside. And that's like, I can't get over that we met these people.

They're just so awesome. $500 if you can get what this quote is. I won't get it. I already know I won't.

I'm going to do it and everyone that's listening is going to be like, I know exactly what that is. You ready? You are my density, my destiny. What movie is that from?

Um, it's Back to the Future. God darn it. All right, beginning. Let's just tell these people, if you haven't been on a, a cruise, this is how it begins.

It is a lot like checking in to a low security prison. I totally, oh my God. OK, and you kind of are, right, because you're about to be trapped. So you go in, you go through these, they check you, they check all of your credentials.

They're guards. I, I don't know if they're armed, but it's very official looking. You go through metal detectors, there are, there are doggies there, and they're not support animals. Yeah, they're gonna sniff for stuff.

Yeah, so you want to, why you bring your shivers, very careful when you get on these minimum security prison floating prisons because they're watching. Yeah, they're looking for stuff. They don't want to be responsible. They're gonna house you.

You're gonna be with a bunch of other horny little inmates and you can't go anywhere. They feed you, that's it. Anything else you want, you gotta find a way to pay for it. Nothing.

Listen, in that little floating prison, nothing's for free. No, you want to communicate, you're gonna get fucked. I mean, financially fucked, but you're gonna get fucked. So you check into this thing and they put you into a large group.

I mean, it's almost like going to a concert. Like you feel like, I'm going to a concert. I'm going to see Justin Bieber. Oh, you're much cooler than me and also not gay.

So we're going to REO Speedwagon and you're like going to this, this hall, and then you start talking to the other little inmates and you're like, what are you in for? And you start, you know, getting a feel for things. They talk to you quickly like if anything happens, jump in a boat. It was a lovely room.

We had a room with a balcony, a balcony, and ocean view, very, very, very special. Anybody who had a window, apparently everybody had an ocean view, didn't feel so special. But the room was actually really comfortable. There's enough space for us to get around.

I like the bathroom and everything too. It's kind of fun. It was, it was pretty spacious. It was really well designed.

I had times, no idea that we were even on a ship. That's that. That's all the, all the boring stuff. That's the room was fine.

The food is great. I mean, look, if you're going for the food, go on a cruise, yeah, go on a different cruise. Like, you know, the food was, was edible. Nobody got poisoned.

The thing is with the ship, it's, it's incredibly, incredibly large. Yeah, like just for comparison, like the Desire cruises, the ship is like around, I think like a few 100 people, and this is like 2000. It is like 2000. It has 14 decks or something.

I know. We were on deck 11. No one knows what happens below deck 6. No one asks.

I don't even know how to get down there. No one has any idea what's happening below 6. Don't go below 6. That's what I heard, so we just don't do it.

Yeah, we didn't do it. It was our first time. Who would? Personally, in life, I have a horrible sense of direction anywhere.

It's true. I yell at Google Maps. I believe it's always wrong. Happens to always be right.

I was always lost. I'd walk trying to find you. I'd get there and I'm like, I'm on the wrong end of the ship. I have to walk all the way to the other side now.

Just try and run and go get a coffee and then I come back like 20 minutes later with cold coffee. Here you go. Yeah, it was just huge. It was overwhelmingly huge.

And this isn't even, this is a 2000 trip. Like the ship that they use for the groove cruise is like over 6000. I can't even imagine. And bliss is the same.

The other thing with this, when you go on a cruise to be ready for it, and this is like in juxtaposition to like our event. Our event is like, I don't know, 150, 170 people, right? So much smaller. You get a feel for.

The people on a, on a level where you're really, really friendly, even at a resort that is in the hundreds, when you're in the lifestyle, you have that feeling of saying hi to to one another. Yeah, you pass them and you're, hey, where are you guys? I'll hold the elevator. Come on in.

Cute costume. Yeah, where are you guys from? What are you doing? That's cordial.

That was cut very short from the very beginning. You say hi to people and they sort of look at their feet and you're like, oh, that's how it's going to be. It's rough in that jail. That will spread throughout wherever you're at because that is either a, OK, that's how it's going to be, that's how it is here, and that is, it's like a cancer.

Not one of the things that I loved about the cruise. Because you think that was because it was a temptation cruise? No, I mean, the temptation already is, you know, split 50/50 or 40/60, whatever it is, you know, half lifestyle, half just adventurous people. This is split.

Into thirds, even lifestyle people. And then you have the temptation people who are just sort of, you know, ra and living on the edge. And then there's a whole subsection of lifestylers that I was introduced to that we were introduced to, that I didn't even know existed. That is like the ship lifestyle cruisers.

And I had no idea, obviously, because I've never been on a cruise before. This is like. They all know each other. Yeah, they kind of all know each other.

These are the, these are the ones that decorate their doors. They put stickers and photos, uh, board, yeah. And even though it's not my thing, to me, every time I walk by the door with these photos of this couple, it feels more like an In memoriam than anything else. I stare at it and I'm like, I just want to like make the sign of the cross and go, they seem like a really nice couple, rest in peace.

I didn't see them jumping overboard. I really just didn't see it happening. They seem so sweet. God rest their souls, whatever.

I don't know what happened, but. It's like a cross between, I don't know, summer camp, freshman dorm for sure is what I felt like. Yeah, and a and a cruise cemetery. I don't know.

It's. That is in and of itself an entire culture that I've never been introduced to, right? And they're there. So that's new to me.

Trying to move inside all of that is its own game because the theme nights in and of itself, very different with 2000 people than 200 people, right? Because it feels almost like the themes that get, it just feels a little bit watered down, right? Because they're more general and less sexy overall. Because they want to give something for everyone to be able to dress like.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but at what point does it go from theme night to a theme convention? Yes, yes, yes. It actually affected me in a reverse way because I felt a little more insecure wearing like just sexy lingerie and walking out the door because I felt almost too risque. Normal theme nights, uniform night, 2000 people, 1,999 nurses.

It's just ridiculous. Glow night, it's my favorite night. Only thing they were missing, one fucking black light. If you're going to have glow night, please make us glow.

Please, please put up a black light. At first I was like, Oh, that's not glowing at all. I look at none, 0, zip, big fail. You show me photos of a black light there, sue me if I'm wrong.

Well, we're going, but we'll check in November. We were supposed to stop twice and get off the ship. We never got off the ship. I mean, what's the point, really?

I mean, because I'm just, I'm just, I'm just sleeping really. I'm good. I don't need to go to Jamaica today for 20 minutes. Follow this crowd.

I'm like, oh hell no. Do you want to see Jamaica? Yeah, it's right out there in the window. I can see it.

I took a couple of pictures of it. Look, there it is. It's great. Let's keep this shit moving.

Let's drive past something else. What I wasn't expecting, you're a person that gets seasick. So if you are a person that gets seasick, you did not get sick at any point. I did not, but I did not expect to feel the boat move.

I didn't think that you would be able to feel the ship moving back and forth. No, I didn't expect it at all. I always looked at the ship and I was like, nothing's moving. Nothing's moving that ship.

Like you can't feel the movement on that ship. Oh, it's so funny. However, I would like to tell everybody, if you want to know what a kaywalk feels like and you've been on a cruise ship, that's exactly what a kaywalk feels like just so you know. And if you're doing k on a ship, you don't know if you just don't know if you're high.

You don't know if you're high or not because you're like, is this ship moving? That's what I kept asking. Was that the ship? Was that the ship or am I high?

Did I do? I didn't even do OK. What is happening? But we are just not connecting.

Little do we know these two beautiful people are just walking around the ship who want to be with us, but we don't even know. They don't know we exist. I don't know they exist. This is what happens when we put 2000 people together on a giant ship with 900 restaurants and a bowling alley and a spa and shops and different pools.

Here's the deal. I, I know what you're going to say. One or two restaurants, one bar, one place to meet, just scale it down a bit. Well, that's like the difference with going to the hotels is everyone's always like, Oh, we know the routine.

And we like a routine as lifestylers. We'd like to go as a flow, as a general crowd of people, and this is just too many choose your own adventures. It's everything everywhere all at once. It is.

So it's like. You're not surprised that you don't get to meet that perfect little couple that we were supposed to meet, but are not meeting them because we're all on different paths at a different time or just trying to take a nap. By the time we actually did meet them, we realized that their room was on the same floor as ours in the same hall, literally about 10 doors down. And we never saw them.

That was so crazy. Maybe they should have had photos on their door. They should have. We did keep trying to meet people the entire, the entire time we were there, but it was, it was incredibly hard.

And here's why, you know, the people, the people were nice. I don't want to say that the people weren't not nice. They, they weren't, but there was, you know, there's, there's the different types of people that we already named. There's the people that are there just to party.

There's the people that there are in the lifestyle. There are people there that are there to decorate their doors. And Finding where you fit kind of takes a bit of time. 0, 100% agree on that.

You know, we spent a lot of our time sort of seeing where, where you fit in. And that's one of the reasons we kept seeing Trent, who was like, the lifestyle. Where's Waldo. He just kept popping up everywhere.

Now, he was half fun, half rapist, but I really enjoyed his rapiness because he was freaking adorable. He was, he was a little. Younger than us, full of energy, full of life, always happy. Yeah, I think that's what it was.

He's a very positive person. Yeah, it was just, it's just really happy, positive energy. So whenever he, you're talking to people or you're talking to another couple and Zoom comes from across, he'll just give you a big hug out of nowhere and then maybe not let go. That was the rapey part.

And then the couple that we're supposed to be with is with these people, never saw them, still haven't seen them and I can't not, not see this. Guy, every time I turn around, met him on day one, within the 1st 6 hours. Yeah, and had a full on conversation with him and then saw him the next day and the next day, day and night, by the way, I know it's so random every day trying to get our rest so that we can stay out all night so that we can nail a couple. I mean, basically that's what we're trying to do, always coming up short.

Here's the problem with the nap on this ship. Two things that were a little upsetting. One was named Rusty. Rusty was like, he's the guy that does everything.

I don't know he cleans your room. He's an employee. Yeah, he works on the ship. Yeah, he brings you stuff, I guess.

Yeah, he's like your concierge guy or I don't know, but he just brings you stuff. So like he comes in, he's like, what do you need, Mr. Richard? What do you need?

I said, I need internet. I said, What? How do I get internet? He says, You sign up here and then you realize that you're paying $300 for internet for 5 days.

Holy shit. Why? Because you're fucking in prison. That's why.

I mean, what did Rusty just say? You want to get on the internet? Suck my dick, Richard. That's what you can do.

That's what you can do. That's what it takes. So then I say, he says, Do you need anything? It's an all-inclusive.

Do you want any water? I said, Yes, Rusty. We would love some water. He says, Do you want a case of water?

I said, we would love a case of water. He says, Well, that's not included. That's gonna cost you 80 bucks. OK.

All right, Jesus Christ. All right, well, just bring the case of water, the $80 case of water. Just bring it to me, Rusty. You know, the food was never a problem.

You know, you can go anywhere to eat. And by the way, the rules are there, no shirt, no shoes, no problem. Even though the signs say it. You just can keep walking past it, and they won't.

They'll just spray you down with the hand sanitizer. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I, I just don't like any, any flesh while I'm eating. I just don't.

It's just a thing for me. So again, people, if you want to go on a cruise and that's how you like to eat, this is what it's gonna be. They're gonna come in like they're sitting at their kitchen table like my dad. Dad came in from cutting the lawn, sat down and had a sandwich.

That's normal. Yeah, it's his house because you live there. It's Dad. That's Steve from cabin 11:20.

Not the same, Steve. I don't know you. Go put something on, Steve. Your fucking chest hair is getting in the fucking buffet.

Stop it. The other thing that they had, which was amazing, was a PA system that they installed right above your bed. So what you would do is you would go to sleep. Our nap time is usually around 44.

Maybe 5 o'clock, you would go to take a nap. Again, really quiet room, comfortable bed. You were out like a light. We play white noise.

It's like a spa in there. Yeah. You're gently rocking to that kywalk ocean. It's lovely.

And then all of a sudden, hello passengers, listen up. Uh, we have an announcement that has little to no information. Uh, we just wanted to wake everyone up to tell you we have no information, and you can go back to sleep. Thank you for sailing with us.

And that would happen every goddamn nap over and over and over. I mean, who's who thought of that? We didn't really partake in the pool activities and the belly flopping contests and stuff. Yeah, the main pool, the two main pools, not really our jam, and it was a really small space as far as I'm concerned to do.

All of that stuff. So we, because we are nudists at heart, um, we would go up to the clothing optional sun deck. There was a lot of people up there. I actually thought it was going to be relatively empty.

Me too. The problem with this particular nude sun deck is the decorum. OK, it's great, except, you know how like when you're in your house and you look out your window and someone came onto your lawn, they're not really doing anything, but they're on your lawn and you're confused, and you're confused and you're not really angry yet, but you're sort of disgusted and you don't know why. And then you walk up to the window and you're like, I'm going to give this person a look.

And the look says like what the fuck are you doing? Like I'm not going to say anything, but my look should be like enough stop. What are you doing? Get off my lawn.

Get off my lawn. I know it's just my lawn, but stop. It's my lawn. Go step on the easement part of the get on the sidewalk.

If you're getting that look while fucking in a public place, you've gone too far. There was, uh, 1 or 222 couples. It seemed like to me, anyway, the guys, two of the guys just trimixed the shit out of their dicks, used it as their own amateur porn shoot. Open space studio.

Yeah, cattle call casting for this is, this is a true story. When we first laid down one of the days you had asked me to rub, I think oil on you. And I just sort of got over you and I started rubbing lotion on your back or oil on your back. And the two women that were sitting right by the stairs that came to come up on the deck.

Yeah, but it was the two women that were with the two guys that were doing all this stuff. They came up and they stopped at us, stood there, watched for a good 5 to 10 seconds, and then started talking to one another and said, This is really hot. We should go get our camera and film this. And we were like, What?

Or you can fuck off. What the actual fuck are you talking about? But you know, it's, it's just, it's just one of those things. You know, we're all about PDA.

I think it's very sexy. I love doing it. I love watching people do it. But there's a line.

There's a code that goes with it. Yeah, there's a difference between, you know, being in that situation and playing with your partner. And then there's Using that audience to your sexual gratification with an utter disregard for how comfortable they are. Exactly.

And that's what they were doing. Not one time, not every single day. That's the part where you need to have somebody there that needs to be like, hey, you guys, bring it down a notch. You know, there has to be some sort of sex.

Police up there, like they didn't go to the resorts enough almost to, or maybe they went to some resorts where you can just do whatever wherever and there's nowhere for these people to go. It's not like, well, we'll go to the other sun deck. There's only one. You've trapped them in this place.

It's people like that that are going to complain and then they take it away, and this is why we can't have anything nice. It's just the truth. I would like to come up with a title for that porn though. Uh, Dirty Sailors, um, Dirty Sean, that's what it was.

Dirty Semens on deck 14. You know who wasn't up there? Trent. Oh, that's right, he wasn't.

So 2nd to last night we're going out ready to have fun. Yeah. What was the theme night? I don't remember.

Yeah, it's glow night. Yeah, so we're going out that night. We're feeling, um, what's the word, desperate at this point. Because we're doing so poorly and I had talked to you earlier and I'm just like, just let's just get out there.

Let's just get out there. Just if you see anybody you like, anything you like at all, just just point it out, just point it out, just say, yeah, I'm into that or I'm into her, I'm into him, I'm into them like. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Steal a piece of furniture, anything.

I don't care at this point. Let's just get something out of this trip. We were dancing that night. Uh, the music was really good.

You start walking through the crowd and you're in front of me. You turn to me and at first I didn't know what you said. You turned to me and you go, white shorts and like I'm in some sort of spy code like white shorts. And you said it twice.

I look over, I see a really handsome guy in white shorts. Like, Oh, she's picking somebody that she likes. And I look at him I'm like, Oh, he's a good looking guy. Then I was trying to find who he was with.

Yeah, he was like in a music trance just dancing by himself. And there were several people behind him, but we didn't know. Here comes Trent. So, so, um, it's, it's, it takes that combination to realize, oh, he's friends with them.

And then those two sort of get together and then we can see who White Shorts is with him, with her. And we're like, wow, this couple is beautiful. And then turns out, we met them a really, really long time ago at Desire. And when they were just getting into the lifestyle, and I think it was.

Within, I don't know, 2 minutes, we were all standing in a lump and holding each other and making out. And that was that. And then we were just sort of swaying back and forth and kissing one another. And I was like, oh my God, we did it.

It's happening. It's happening. It's happening. It was just, it was so sexy to find something when you're just open minded and just having fun and letting everything go.

And then. When I kissed her first, it was um like, she's such a good kisser. I literally can think about it right now. And it was just like we were talking.

She was a talking through kissing person and she pulled back and she's like, Oh my God, you're a good kisser, honey, she's a good kisser. And I was like, you're a good kisser. And I'm like, oh, I want to try him too. I just remember swaying there rock hard because I was so turned on.

I would like to. To go have sex with these people right now. And so we did, we're sort of leaning in that direction. We're like, well, let's, let's not even tempt fate.

Well, she had lost her voice, right? She could not speak. So I was already losing mine. And so that it kind of pushed us to be in this really tight circle to start talking, which led to kissing.

And I was like, maybe we should go somewhere quieter. We can go back to the room. Nice. I was just putting it out there.

They, I believe, had taken too many gummies at that point. And they were into it, but they were also out of it at the same time. So collectively, we had just made a decision. You know what, let's not do this because this is like, we have, which we didn't take full advantage of.

We actually had friends that we were with, and our friends were having a really good time. And one of the things we didn't want to do was leave anybody for somebody else sort of thing. Because it's really never worth it for us to do that. Right, I guess.

So we actually never ever got to do anything with them. Uh, we wound up having an amazing last night hanging out all night with them and our friends sort of collectively hung out at the silent disco, which was amazing. Um, we will see them again. I mean, we did exchange information and we will see them again pretty shortly actually.

So we're looking forward to that. So that was the highlight. Finding that one needle in the haystack of 2000. So wow.

Well, uh, it didn't end up exactly the way we wanted it to be. I mean, we do have to give credit to drugs here a little bit without the, the, the, the gummies. I don't think we would have efficiently ended up in a circle jerk. It wasn't a circle jerk, in a circle hug makeout session so quickly.

So that was helpful. Yeah, it's that perfect amount of social lubricant. Yeah, so another great time to pay some bills. So if you want to zoom, zoom, zoom and a boom boom and a shroom shroom.

Lauren, tell them everything. Go to shiversstore and I can put the link in the show notes. Use our promo code R77 and save 10%. I mean, it was a good time.

I think it's worth the money. I think, I think it's not incredibly outrageously expensive. I don't know how much it cost. It's more than going to the hotel.

I think it's, yeah, but you get more, right? Don't you? If you're into, look, if you're into cruises, you want to do it, I don't think you're going to walk away going, that was. An absolute waste of money.

Yeah, I don't think you are, and I don't think you have to have a fancy room with a balcony either to have a good time. I think you could get an ocean view room and be fine. Isn't this the, aren't they all ocean views? No, well, there are interior staterooms, but I didn't want to correct you and be like, OK, Miss travel agent, I was just making a joke about ocean views.

Well, no, a room, an interior stateroom is. No view room. Yeah, there is no view. You know it's not an ocean view room, but if you have a view, it's going to be of the ocean.

Yeah, you were correct. If you have a window, it is an ocean view room. Exactly. It's always funnier when you break the comedy down.

I don't even know what a stateroom looks like. It would be like it would just be the bed, the closet, and the bathroom. Yeah, you can have sex in there and you can, and you can take naps. So you go in that and that's cheap.

Those rooms are cheap. They are, yeah. Well, there you go. Do that then.

Do that. You want to go look at the ocean. Walk outside. You got 360.

You got the ocean. You could see it everywhere. You can go lay on a lounge chair. You get sick of it all day long, all night long, and you'd be like, Oh, I'm so sick of the ocean.

I want to go back to my little stateroom. I'm so happy in here. Oh, so happy. I can't see that fucking ocean.

That's how you got to look at it, yeah, but as far as like you can eat anywhere you want, you can't have water or internet, but you can't have water if you go to the restaurants. That's free. Yeah, you know, I would bring something to carry it in like a little canteen, like a giant bring a 5 gallon jug with you, fill that up. Next time I'm bringing a Starlink.

Darling, I'm bringing just a suitcase full of water. 5 cable and say, Rusty, how do I hook this up? Rusty, can you put this on the roof? No obstructions, Rusty.

I need a clear view of the sky. Look, you wanna charge me 300. I'm gonna give you 100 bucks. Let's go straight in your pocket.

See what we're doing is we're cutting the ship out here, right? You wanna tell my neighbors, I'll give them the code. Charge them 50. This is what we call a little mafia.

I am Italian. How did you know? This is what we do, Rusty. We make a little business.

Next time I come home with 3 fucking dishes. I have pre-printed cards with passports. We start a little thing. Then you hire your friends, maybe some bigger guys, they collect.

I mean, if I was going to make the cruise better, honestly, and I'm, listen, I've only been on one a black light, so I'm only, yeah, I'm gonna bring my own black light. Uh, I'm coming, I'm coming as a black light. That's what I'm, that's what I'm gonna do. The thing, the thing that I didn't love the most is the sheer size of it.

So if I was gonna, if you love the sheer size of having 2000 people around you, then that's your thing. If you don't, then that's, it's not going to be your thing. I mean, if you like being spread out with a bunch of people everywhere, yes, that's so so. Not in a sexual way.

Oh damn it. Uh, then, then that's, that's going to be your thing. And, you know, I guess that's why people like cruises. It's not really my, my thing.

They like this, the option of having too many options. I mean, I don't like too many options. I mean, I want a life assistant as it is to just tell me what to do. I would, I would pay somebody to just tell me what to do every day, but above and beyond that, it's just, it's counterintuitive to the, to the lifestyle.

There's a term here, everybody's seen it. If you're in Mex Mexico. the point of day reunion. I don't know what it translates into, but it's like the meeting point, the meeting point, right?

And that's basically what it should be in any aspect of the night or the day. You should have 11 of those, always. And that's where the masses should go. And when you have too many of those, it breaks things up a little too much.

That's what I did miss as well. I guess I was trying to allude to earlier is that when you go to like desire or something, it's like, OK, you know, you're at the pool till about 4 and then everyone goes to the jacuzzi. And everyone goes to nap or then you go to dinner, and then you go to the show and then you go to the disco and it's, you have a flow and you know where to go and you, it's small enough to see the same people. Keeping it simple in this aspect, it doesn't mean with anything.

I mean, when you go to a sandals, that's probably something you want. You want to keep people active. That's what cruise ships are built for. You don't want them to get bored.

When you go to Vegas, you don't want them to leave the casino. You want them to have a million things to do so they don't get bored. But in the lifestyle, you, you want. People to gather and and sort of focus in one area.

It's the whole point is to have people mingle, mingle and meet each other and meet one another. When you're creating FOMO inside of your own event, that's a problem. And that's not their fault. That's a, that's a cruise ship problem fault.

That's the sheer mass of it. You know, if, if you're, if you have FOMO inside of your own event, that's not a good thing to have inside of a lifestyle event. Where are the most people? That's, that's how the lifestyle flows.

Where are the, where's the most mass of people and then. When you go to that mass of people, you decide, do I want to stay here? Do I want to veer off to wherever that place is, I want to go from here. But you, yeah, point B, B is, you know, the, the, the resorts have it, the events have it.

It's like there's the part where everybody is, and then there's that part where people go off to the side, talk and have a conversation, but there's not 7 of those. There's not, there's 9 different restaurants that people go to and you're like, Where are you eating tonight? I don't know. Let me pull out the fucking yellow pages.

Like I said, we'll be back when in November. We'll do it all again. Maybe it'll bring a glow light. I don't know.

I don't know, but I'm excited to do it again. The first one was a little scary, and I think this one will have a different, a little more confidence walking in. Yeah, for sure. I know, yeah, I know, yeah, I'm bringing stuff from my door.

Are you really? I'm bringing a screen. Oh my God, yeah, I'm just, I'm going full, full, a video wall. Yeah, I think it'd be crazy.

One of the greatest things about becoming a member over at Room 77life.com, by becoming a member you can talk to us every single day. If you enjoy having us in your car, your head right now, in the gym, in your cell, wherever you are, imagine talking to us every day. You pick up your phone or whatever, you just text us and you're like, Yo, what's up, Richard? We're friends.

And I just want to check. Or you can do like the other percentage and just join to see the naked naughty photos or to get on OnlyFans and watch people fuck. Either thing, up to you. Go over to room 77life.com, click members, become a Patreon, and all of that is for you.

Meanwhile, thank you to these people who supported us, who make our life better and allow us to pay our rent and our electricity and give Muchacho shelter and His food. Thank you to Marty and Clint, John, Sense8 couple, Henrik Adsenholz, Eric, Jay, Richard, ITA, Netflix, Lone Star Nat, Roger, Russell, Steven Amy, Tom, Francier, and Norco couple 3. All right, really quickly, really quickly, because I can't go on too long because this is getting too long already. Well, it's already too long.

It's already too much because I already quit. Um. Penis penis augmentation, yay or nay. I mean, I say if you, if it's really going to make you feel better, of course it would make me feel better.

What would make me feel worse is if it looks weird. That's my biggest fear is you take down your pants and everyone's like, like, why does it look like that now? I'm never taking my pants because my answer is, but it's big, but it's big when I fuck you. Yeah, that's like it looks like AI fucked it up.

Like you put it in AI. And it fucked it up. It added too many fingers. So on the guy side of things, I think they're a little more lenient on the way things look.

I think that on the guys' side of things, like, look at those tits, they're huge, but they don't really look like boobs. I think we've all forgotten what boobs really look like. We've replaced them with what false false boobs look like. I think we're fine with it.

As a society, we've come to. Terms with, no, that's what boobs look like now, right? That's true. That's fine.

They're pretty. They're wonderful. Fake boobies look great. I think they look great, right?

We've come to terms with it. But if you can remember back when you first saw your first teat, first teat, your first set of fake boobs, you were kind of like, holy moly, that's kind of odd looking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're kind of like, that doesn't look like anything I've ever seen before. But now we've become used to it, right?

So. Either every man gets a penis augmentation, and we get used to it, or I don't know. I don't know. Depends on if they sponsor the podcast.

So, why do you keep, what is it like, yeah, I don't care if you're disfigured as long as I get paid for it. That's your bottom line. Let me ask you something. Hold on.

Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Uh, hello, doctor's office. No, I'm calling you.

Are you the doctor? No. You haven't picked up. You don't know who's calling yet.

I don't know where I am working. Ring ring. Hello. Hi.

Hi, is this Lauren? Hi, Lauren. This is Dr. Schneffelvossel.

Uh, I work out of Idaho. I've come over from Germany and I have a new breast enlargement surgery, and I wanted to put really large breasts inside of you for free. And I'll do that and I will sponsor your podcast. When would you like to schedule?

I don't know if I want to do that. Oh, wait, hold on. Hold on, because I just listened to your podcast. And it seems as though my husband, Dr.

Smeckensmeckle, he said that he would do your husband's penis for free. And you volunteered your husband for a free sponsorship. Yeah, because I think you would, a lot of guys would want it. It doesn't matter.

Um, look, if anybody's had, uh, the penis, uh, filler thing where they put penis filler in your penis, call me. Don't call me, text me and send me photos of your penis. Let me see. And then let's talk about it.

I don't wanna touch it. I just want, I just need to know more. I need to know more as well. Otherwise, Lauren, uh, we'll see everybody in New Jersey, not everybody, probably just the people in New Jersey at the, the friction liquid lust thing in July.

Make sure to go there. Come and see us. Come, come on us. And then we have, we're going to Desire, be at Desire in June.

Do you want to go meet us there? We're come to sin. We'll be there, or you can go on the Temptation cruise in November. It's just come find us.

Come, get, get on the cruise with us. Do cruise with us, man. Come on, do some stuff. Let's do this shit.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go leave a positive review. For more information, go to room 77life.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast.

Now get your clothes and get out.