Ep. 94: The Hot, Young Desire Orgy That Never Was

All right, Lauren, this question comes from Joel. They want to know if you think that tan lines are sexy. Guys, I'm gonna have to be honest with you, I do not like the, uh, t-shirt and shorts tanned into your body. What do you mean like the shirt sleeve where everything's white except for halfway down your arm.

You do not like that. I'm gonna be fair here. I don't think that any woman ever looked at a man who was obviously wearing a sleeveless shirt and just has tan arms and a white pasty torso and said with confidence, I love tan lines. I don't think that's really what we're talking about here.

To me, sometimes they just look like, I'm gonna make you naked, but I'm just gonna highlight these areas. Look at my boobies. Look at my ass. Hey, look at me, look at your penis.

I'm gonna make that all a different color. How would you feel if instead of tan lines, I just took a black marker and just circled your titties, circled your ass, circled your vagina, because to me, that's what tan lines look like. All right, Lauren, it's time to talk about bikini addiction, and this particular ad is inspired by one of our favorite customers who went to Disney World in her bi. Bikini Addiction bikini.

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Show these Karens, I don't give a fuck. I don't care what your opinion is. I have a body and I am gonna flaunt it. Now, let me ask you this, Lauren, have you ever seen a man approach another man?

And men like, yo, bro, you gotta put those guns away. And that ass, you got some dump truck going on, bro. You never see a guy doing that. So why are girls like that to other girls?

It's horrible because they're Karen's. There's 4 or 5 bottom styles. Now is the time to kick it up a notch. Go down to scrunchie, go down to the triangle, go down to that rhinestone tee and just flaunt it, wear it out.

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In American English it would be pronounced as 77, 7777. All right, Lauren, welcome back. I'm sorry I cut you off. What were you gonna say?

I was gonna say thank you. Oh, you're very welcome. Hold on, I have to turn my volume down because I'm blowing myself out. If I could blow myself, we wouldn't have a podcast.

I wouldn't. I'd just be doing it right now. Just be blowing myself. So we have so much that happened in the past month.

I wish we had a podcast to tell. Everyone, I know, wouldn't that be cool? Yeah, and then I could just record it and just let everybody know what happened this month in our life, both personally and sexually, and then everybody would know all of the good things that happened and the bad things and maybe come away with something that would help them in their life, either sexually or personally. You're welcome.

So. Here's what happened. We were going to desire for this birthday party. It was going to be awesome because we were going with a group that was super young and also not awesome.

We are not super young. Yes, I thought that he was celebrating a 40th birthday, that I'm still in my 40s, that we would be OK, you know. Is that what you thought? It's not that much.

Yeah, sure, but it wasn't, it was way, you know, 30s, 20s. I wasn't expecting those. What's the difference? Yeah, I mean, it all looks the same.

Honestly, standing next to them. How much older did I look standing. Right next to them. Don't you lie to me.

I would say, how much older did I look? Did I look like their dads? No, because your body's in shape. I would say, um, maybe 10 years.

But that's not that bad. No, I guess not. Yeah, yeah, I'll take that. OK, I'll take that.

Thank you. You looked super old. I'm kidding. We knew we were going to show up, like not youngest people in the bunch.

You know, you do start to get like a little bit, I wanna say insecure. I'm not going to say I didn't Google Express plastic surgery a couple of times, see how fast I could get my face lifted. My goal personally, I don't know what your goal was. It was a win if no one called me sir.

That was my absolute goal. No one, which by the way, although no one did call me sir, it was some things were said that were like, oh, that kind of counts as sir. And other things happened at the resort. I got such heavy validations both as a podcast and a scientist and a doctor, a philanthropist.

I don't know if that one's true, but I just wanted to. Throw it in, but I got validated that the work we're doing here is not only important but also grounded in science and truth and truth. I also got evidence from a clinically boarded, I don't know if it's clinically boarded, a doctor that told me something that I will take with me for the rest of my life. Yeah, medically certified, let's say that.

We also had some sex with some people that was what was beautiful. Beautiful sex. I may want to have their children. I don't know how.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, but they were so beautiful that I would like to carry their children. They already have some children, so maybe I'll take some of theirs. What, however, it's going to work, but they're beautiful people.

Uh, but let's get started. So we show up to this thing and it turns out, yeah, they weren't lying. They're young, right? So I try to not be that guy.

You don't have. To really do anything because you're pretty. And immediately all the guys are automatically like, yeah, I'd stick it in her. It's kind of easy.

They were definitely choosing the other girls first and then kind of came around to me at the end. I don't want this to make you feel worse, but I was choosing them first as well. Of course you were. And that doesn't make me feel bad.

I would hope that you would. And then I came around to you at the end. I mean, that you always you were the only choice left for me. Well, let's be fair, let's paint a picture here.

They're all pretty. There's not one girl that I wouldn't have sex with, right? Because usually you go into a place and you're like, well, I have to take all the people that I wouldn't touch, put them in a pile, and then all of the people that I would touch, and then that narrows it down. We're in a, in a group of like 20 couples, and then you go, OK, which ones will I have sex with?

All of them, all of them. That's not helping at all. So now what you have to do is you have to narrow down your pile that you made of who will I have sex with. Now you have to see who will reciprocate, who will have sex with me, right now it gets narrowed.

Now it gets really narrowed down. Well, it's not even just me, it's who will have sex with us. Well, let's just start with me. I narrow it down a lot, right?

It's a lot easier for you. I mean, let's just lean that on the guy or on me, right, because I'm going to cancel out 90% of them. I'm fine with it. But, you know, I throw my.

Out there, forgive the pun, and we got a few hits. I'm getting flirted with a bit by some of the ladies that I thought were the most attractive. So I'm feeling pretty good about myself. I'm thinking maybe this will go somewhere.

Here's the thing that we discovered a deterrent, sort of an obstacle, an obstacle, which is strangers versus a group of friends. They're two completely different dynamics. When you show up to a place and there's a bunch of friends, and there is a bunch of strangers. Sometimes you think, well, this is going to be great because everybody sort of knows everybody, and there are both pluses and minuses to both, but there is something to say about everybody starting on the same playing field, right?

Yeah, especially when we're the older and the stranger, because they all know each other, trying to grab anyone's attention is a little bit difficult because everyone is sort of like golden retrievers seeing squirrels because everybody's getting interrupted because they're all sort of friends, they all have relationships, and they're like. Catch up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it does get kind of difficult.

So I'm trying very hard to connect in any way, shape or form, while at the same time, I'm just trying to be cool. Well, yeah, you're never aggressive flirter regardless of being in a group or not a group. And I was actually encouraging you to be more aggressive in this particular sense, because I think you needed to overcome the obstacle of them all knowing each other. It's like you almost had to get over that.

Wall and be like, I'm in here to play too, like, and that's just not your natural style. So that was one thing right off the bat that was very difficult for you. I thought I was doing pretty good. Yeah, it was doing great with everyone except for one guy, uh, just would not like me.

I don't know. I just wouldn't. If there was a movie made of this, he was my nemesis. Like he would be the guy that was like plotting revenge in his room with cutting out letters in a magazine.

He just did not like me. I don't know what I did to him. I, I just was saying you were wearing your invisible theme night costume. I tried, but then I just gave up and thought, can't win them all.

So we had our own friends there as well. It was cool, but it was very, very busy. It's a very, very busy group. It was very hard to get grounded and say, do you want to fuck?

It was just, it was just difficult, right? And there was a couple there that we knew we were going to, we're absolutely going to have sex with. And we did, and we will get to that that soon. Yes.

I digress. While we were there, we met somebody and they had listened to the podcast and they had heard about my Trimix test. Yes, your experiments, both experiments, both there. He even pointed to the jacuzzi.

I did. And this gentleman walks up to me and he says, Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I heard about your Trimix test, and I have to tell you that you are in fact wrong and I'm a neurologist and like a neurologist, I'm not going to listen to a neurologist. What the fuck does a neurologist know? You're like Nothing, nothing.

Fake news, sir. I stopped listening already and you're like, no, you said urologist. Oh, urologist. Oh, that makes more sense.

You actually do, you actually do this prescribe this shit. He's like, so you did the experiment in the, in the hot tub with the thing and quite frankly, you don't know what you're talking about. And I said, Excuse me, yes, I do. I have my degree.

I did two experiments and they both worked. This has been proven peer reviewed, and I already, I already wrote a, uh, an abstract, and it's been published. So deal with it, sir. And I even offered him, I said, Would you like to do the experiment a 3rd time with me right now?

He said, No, I would not. I tried to push him to do it. I was like, we need a 3rd experiment. And he was like, Hmm, which would have given us some real credit, but he wasn't into it.

No. Well, what was your plan? or did you have a plan if he said yes? No.

I know what I would have done. Run to the room, run to the room. Get my lab coat. Oh, I thought you were gonna say shots.

No, no, that's silly. Well, yeah, yeah, my shots and a lab coat, and I would have worn my, my shots like there were pens in my lab coat, brilliant, which, by the way, we should get a lab coat on Sheehan just to have, and I won't wear anything. It'd just be a naked, me naked in a lab coat with a lab, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's just it.

I probably would have gone up there and been like. OK, doctor, but I would have said it sarcastically like that the entire time. OK, doctor, how long is the normal time that this usually takes? And he would have given me some time because he knows because he tests this all the time.

Would you both inject at the same time like a race car? Not necessarily. I would say, all right, you're gonna do yours or I'm gonna do mine, and we're gonna do this one at a time. I'm gonna do.

Mine outside, you're gonna do yours inside. So one's gonna be tested in, in the thing. We're all, we're both gonna use the same milking action. We're gonna mirror one another.

Basically, we're gonna be jerking each other off alone. I love this experiment. I wish you said yes. No, I would have said, all right, you take yours, we're gonna wait, and we're gonna see how long it takes you to get effects, and then we're gonna use the same technique, exactly the same.

Same technique and then I'm gonna take mine and I'm gonna use the same technique, same amount, same dosage or whatever usually affects you, and then I'm gonna do it in the hot water and we're gonna see who, who's, who's goes faster and then if that happens, you pay me. I don't know how payment got into this, but I just made it, made it get a trophy. But no, he didn't want anything to do with it because, you know what, he's a neurologist, and no one likes real science. He said, no, no, no, you're wrong.

Crushed my hopes and dreams. Just, I don't know what the excuse was that he made up in his medical brain, but what he said was it would barely make a difference. That's what he said. But oh no, what he didn't know, there was a scientist lurking in the pool, waiting for Richard to enter to trash this neurologist, fake neurologist.

So later on, I'm in the pool and I get called over by this beautiful young lady and says, hi, listen, I just wanted to let you know that I'm a science teacher and I listened to your Trimix test and I can tell you why you are correct I immediately boom boom boom ding ding ding. Immediately I look around to find this fucking fake urologist. Sir, get over here right now to this bar. Where is he?

Where is he? Because you didn't hear what I just said. Do you think she was just flirting with you through science though, in the name of science? Absolutely.

I was trying to be like, Richard, she's flirting with you, flirt back. It doesn't matter. The fact that she agreed with me would have fucked her anyway. So it worked.

It doesn't matter. So I have two things here. Uh, someone's flirting with me, when someone's agreeing with me, when. But you were focused more on the science experiment and oblivious to the flirting.

That's what my point was. Well, look, proving somebody wrong is a high priority in my life. So I just, I just, I have to hear the answer though. I have to tell me you're my favorite person here right now, what you know, you don't have to say anything else.

She explains to me as a, as, as someone who knows science, what is happening there is the hot water is really helping the chemical reaction that's happening with, and it's doing a lot of the heavy lifting that your body would otherwise do. The actual heat from the hot tub is doing a lot of the heavy lifting, thus not making your body do what. The heat is actually doing so it happens exponentially quicker, faster, faster moving that blood, faster, stronger, younger, younger, harder, harder, faster, stronger, na, na, na, na. Now she's very into science and I trust everything that she says.

I asked her if she will quiz me on some science questions. She does. I pass. I get A plus plus.

Wait, did you actually know the answers to the questions, or were you guessing? Um, I guessed a little bit, but I mean, I, I know science. I know space pretty well, and I know there's only, there's only a few gasses. I knew it was a gaseous planet.

I knew there's only a few gasses to choose from, so I kind of knew it, but I wasn't completely sure. So she was impressed as one should be, Lauren. I mean, have you seen this education system of late? It's horrific.

It's scary, OK? And for a guy like me who peddles shit on a podcast, I mean, to know what the chemical makeup is of Neptune, come on, it's pretty fucking impressive. You should have fucked her right there. I had more important things to do.

I had a fake urologist, neurologist to find. Now I'm on a, on a, on a vengeance to find this fake urologist. Tell him what I've just you're wearing like your magna cum laud thing around the pool and going, listen, sir. So later on, I think it was maybe 20 minutes, an hour later, I don't even know, but I see him.

Excuse me, are you the urologist? I am. And I go over to him and I start talking to him. I tell him exactly what happened.

Rather than fight me, he just says, oh, OK. Wait, what? Fight me a little, but it does get better. It does redeem himself.

Now, here's where the important part is. He says to me, Richard, uh, I just want to let you know, as a urologist, I hear you on the podcast and you, you talk about your cock. You have a good cock. I see a lot of cocks.

I bet he does. You, you, you have a good cock. I'd say 8 out of 10. Lauren, it goes on my tombstone.

Did you kiss this man? I tried. I mean, he punched me. Do you believe this man?

Because sometimes when your spouse tells you something over and over again, I have to say it did move me. It did move me. I almost cried, but it did make a slight difference. Were you more moved by the fact that he gave you a cock greeting that appeased you or that he finally agreed with your science?

It's a difficult question from asking a scientist that and a doctor. It's a difficult question. I'd have to say the cock meant more. I do, uh, if it, if it came down to rock, paper, scissors, science, cock beats science.

Yeah, I would guess that for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does. I'm sorry, it's not that I don't care about science. I appreciate it, but I, I don't need it to fuck.

But, uh, I mean, it didn't cure it completely. I still see some people there that I'm like, yeah, thank you, but I want his. Like, but at the same time, it was a, it was a very nice thing to say and I said, you must see a lot. He said, I see a lot.

And I said that means a lot to me, sir. I appreciate it. Yeah, that proves me right, um, in all the ways, yeah, in all the ways. So I have to go back and redo the report.

Put in little footnotes, get some names. So now we're just waiting to have sex with young people. It's basically what we're waiting for, right? I don't know if it's gonna happen.

I'm a little scared. I just say, well, whatever happens happens. I don't really have any expectations. Yeah, we usually never go in with expectations.

We try, we try, but, um, sometimes it happens and, uh, we wind up having this penthouse party. And let me tell you why we had this penthouse party, and it is desires listening, which they're not. We go to the disco, right? One night.

Now I'm all dressed up. I may have been on 9 or 10 shivers. I'm ready to dance my ass off. I'm dressed right.

I'm ready, so I'm kind of high. I just want music and the beat, and I want to go, go, go. It was our first night there, so we were, you're ready to go hard. Yeah, go hard, right?

So we walk up into the disco. Walk in, something already sounds off, didn't even turn the corner yet. Something sounds off. And I'm like, what is going on in here?

When we walk in, there's not really music playing. Well, there is music. It was like a Latin song or yeah, some Latin music playing, which is, you know, fine, depending on what kind of Latin music. But then we slowly, it sounds off.

It just doesn't sound right. And what we slowly realized is it's a two piece Latin band. There's a two-piece Latin band in the disco at midnight. What the actual fuck.

I, I was so stunned. I went over to someone and I was like, I couldn't hear any bass and they have really good bass in that disco and I was like, what is happening? And over in the back corner where a pole is. Stripper pole, I see some lights shining on these people and I'm like, what is happening?

And, and our friends were like, I think it's karaoke. They were just doing Shania Twain, but they didn't leave the thing. Most people thought it was karaoke and whoever the bitch was up there was just hogging the mic. No, I got another song for you.

I got another song. I got another. I signed up 20 times. So most of us as a group, we're like, fuck this.

And one of the people who had a penthouse volunteered the penthouse and said, let's just go back to the penthouse and party there because this is unbearable. And honestly, it was, especially when you're in that mood. I mean, no one, no one there signed up to go to quinceanera. Nobody.

It was, it was people and couples all sitting together, right. So, so we go to, we go to the penthouse and we start partying there. And Uh, had a lot of fun, got to know a lot of people. What happened there?

I thought was really, really interesting. There was this one couple that towards the end of the night, just got naked and started fucking right in the middle of everything. Yes. And usually what you would imagine what would precede this would be a giant group orgy, especially with a bunch of beautiful, horny people, right?

That's and I know each other already. Right. What winds up happening is everybody freezes. Stairs, like on a sideline, right, which I kind of expected.

I kind of had a feeling that that's what was going to happen. So I didn't really have anything against the couple that started it because they looked very good at what they were doing. They put on quite a show. To be honest, it looked like they were hired.

They were that good, weren't they? That's hysterical. I mean, they were fantastic. I mean, beautiful bodies, beautiful, just everything.

And then another, another person jumped in and then it was like a threesome and then everything sort of. But nothing ever really took off. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And that's sort of where we were all left with just like this. Everybody's sort of looking around like that John Travolta meme in Pulp Fiction's like, what do we do? Where do we go? What do we do?

Right? And despite my best efforts, I was in there, like I was adjusting lighting, I was adjusting music, I was trying to like make the ambience, thinking if I dimmed the lights to the perfect level, everyone's clothes would come off. Well, you know, he was really. Confused as to like, I don't know why.

I don't know why everything just didn't start. And it's like, well, you know, when you go into those situations like that, you, you're full committal. I mean, if Lauren sat down on that bed and took off her clothes, it's a buffet. Yeah, it's a buffet.

I'm a choice on the buffet. Go in and grab me. And I don't know if everybody is, is down for that. Nothing was talked about.

Nothing was planned. Nothing was, that's quite a leap. If you're not in that mindset, and you decide you're only into, I don't know, half of the room, that's. That's quite a mindset to jump in.

But hats off to the couple that did it. They look great. I don't hold anything against them. Three of the 4 were playing in their own room before even making it to the penthouse that night.

So they were like, comfortable with one another. Yeah, had already been playing literally within hours. And so it was almost like, yeah, I mean, honestly, if under those circumstances with like 20 people watching, if I took my pants down, there's no way I'm getting hurt because, What if my lighting was right though, Richard? Well, I don't even know.

I don't even know because at that point it's just like 18 eyeballs staring at you like, let me see what you got. I haven't seen you naked. It's a pretty intimidating situation. It's a great thought, hot thought, especially with that crowd.

Do you remember when we used to be that couple? We were always that couple that started trouble. We were trouble. We would walk into a situation, get naked, and start fucking.

We started the, the stuff, yeah, absolutely. And what happened? Uh, why not? This one, I can tell you why.

I think I have, I have my thoughts. What are your thoughts? I feel like because we were on the outside of the group, we weren't um equal playing field and we were on the older side that it would have been creepier if we started. Oh, specific, I thought you meant like in general.

No, in this specific penthouse. In this specific one, it never would have happened. I would have felt too, too uncomfortable, but that would have been in any point in our lifestyle career. I would have felt uncomfortable in this.

In this specific situation, but I've found that we do it less and less in lifestyle situations. We used to always do it all the time, but we don't really do it anymore. And the reason that we don't do it anymore is we have less anonymity now than we used to. We used to sort of be invisible and we used to be able to start shit.

And now we sort of know somebody everywhere, and it changes the dynamics just a little bit. And I don't know if it's a feeling of judgment or a feeling of, well, I just don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to send out that vibe in front of that person when we shouldn't really give a shit. But it did alter our play behavior in that aspect of just knowing masses of amounts of people, that dynamic changed, I think. Definitely was a really fun time.

Like we got to meet, there were some really interesting people, really amazing people that we got to know and you're making friends with. Was it a sexy time? It wasn't as sexy as I had. Though it could be not their fault.

It was like the dynamic fault. Yeah, yeah. And that's sort of where it's like, how is the group? Is it good to have a group of strangers or is it having a group of friends?

And that's, it's like almost every day and after the whole time you almost run out of time because you're focused on 10 couples or 20 couples or however many couples as opposed to just one or two that you, you sort of clicked with throughout, you wind up clicking with all of them because it winds up being a close. Banded group. It's almost a disservice. It's, it's difficult.

Did you ever get the thought that when you're in that and the whole sex thing started, I don't know if your brain works like mine. They're just waiting for us to leave. Like that thought will run that thought will run through my head. Like I will get that insecure.

Like, well, they'll they'll do this when we leave. Like they're just sort of waiting for us to leave because they feel uncomfortable that we're here. I did think that and I'll tell you why, because there were certain pieces of furniture where people were congregating because there. It wasn't, there's not a lot of places to sit when there's 45 people or 40 people in a penthouse, you know, so I found myself kind of wandering around a little bit.

Part of that was, I think because we arrived a little late, people had already plopped in different spaces. But to me, I'm like, that's their group. They're in a furniture pile. They're in this furniture pile outside, where, which place do I go to, you know, immediately you're like, oh, where do I fit in?

You know. You know, did any part of you ever hope that it would turn into an orgy? Yeah, that's why I was adjusting the lightings. I was like, listen, I'm gonna, so you were actually ready for it to turn into an orgy and just lay down and get naked.

I would have probably been on the satellite side thinking like, maybe if we were on a different piece of furniture, not joining the main bed or something like because they have one of those sex chairs like communicated to me, by the way, thoughts going through your head, but never ever communicated to me. Well, I mean, it would have been good to know in the moment. I don't think the moment ever came, or else I would have been like, hey, let's go over to this area and start making out. Would it have been weird if I was the only guy who went into a corner and just started stroking it by himself?

Do you think I would have been judged? Yes, highly judged. It depends on how bad in the corner you were. They probably wouldn't have even noticed you actually darkest corner.

Probably would have been fine, Richard, but with my phone flashlight. Where would I have been holding the light just so it looked creepy enough, you know what I mean, a man in the dark, just in just enough light staring off into the distance. Did anyone end up calling you, sir? No, but not really.

But here's what I found, which was equally as upsetting. They would work this phrase into sentences. Uh, they'd be like, yeah, so, and we would hang out with a group our age and no. So there was always a uh a modifier in there.

Yeah, yeah, we usually go hang out with a group like our age and uh you leave that part out. The group is just cool. Like I'm picturing people your age. I don't know if you know that or not.

I'm like, I'm not picturing you out with a bunch of older people. I'm picturing. You out with your peers. That's what I'm picturing.

So you could just like, so yeah, so we're at this club is awesome. Like we go there and it's like, it's like a lot of people our age. And I'm like, OK, thank you. So that was kind of equivalent to sir.

Yeah, that was my equivalent to sir. I didn't enjoy that so much. You know, I always have the memories. Yeah.

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We'll wait, we'll even pause this for you. Hey, Google, pause. Alexa, pause podcast, Siri, pause podcast. That should cover it.

But we did have some incredible sex while we were there. Now, we had met a couple a long time ago, while we were with them, we know, well, you could tell the story. We never had a chance to hook up with them. Although we knew we wanted to, we never had a chance to actually hook up with them.

It was kind of one of those things that we're going to be there, you're going to be there, our dates overlap, and we were excited to see them again. And unfortunately, sometimes when you meet people, it's not at the beginning of the of your trip or something. And by the end of the, Trip, you're like, oh shit, we ran out of time. So that was our case with them.

And so we had made a group chat and we're flirting a lot to prep up to that. It was pretty well established, very, very excited to get into their pants. It was definitely one of those four way connections and we were super excited about that. We laid down with them and the expectations of just the beauty of it was beyond my expectation.

Like I was, my jaw was a little bit dropped at. Just because their, their physical bodies are so beautiful, just together. It was like, what? I felt like I blinked and was inside of one of those sexy Cinemax porn.

Yeah, and I got no photos of it, which is very, very sad, because I feel like I want to share it with friends and family. And it's our new Christmas card. Look, we warn them upfront. We are mediocre at best in bed.

And I think we proved that. Nailed it, nailed it once again. They were very good. They came off that they were semi-inexperienced and then once again, uh, we go into the situation and you're like, you guys are very good at this.

Much better than we are. So it's, it's one of those things where you don't. Really know what the vibe is really of of somebody sexually until you start to roll around with them. Me, I was a little distracted by the visual of it the entire time.

I just kept stopping and looking like I was at Yosemite. I was like, let me just get out of the car and look at this one more time. So, and, and you just, I enjoyed watching you with him because not only was it beautiful, it was just I could tell that you're really enjoying him, enjoying every part, which is always a good sign is like reaching over and just feeling how absolutely soaking wet you are. His body really turned me on.

But more than that, his energy or his vibe was really comfortable to me. Like it was an instant sort of I felt really comfortable and not put on the spot. I don't know, put on the spot is the best way I can really describe it. And with him and with her too, I enjoyed being with next.

To her, we were both lying down and the both of the guys were on top. Again, I enjoyed the visuals so much of this because both of your bodies fucking us was super hot. I got to, you know, kiss and make out with her and just kissing girls is so soft. Their skin is so soft and it was just amazing.

But for him, I was like, Um, before we move to the sex part, can I just keep blowing you a little bit longer? And I've never said that before. It was so funny, which is an interesting thing because she was like, she started to apologize about blowjobs because she was like, it's just like I have a small mouth. I'm like, I'm like, no, no, no, don't, don't worry about me.

I'm fine. She just loves it. Like I think she thought because you were doing it so much to him that I needed it reciprocate. Well, it tends to move the.

Speed along, like, you know, whether the girls are playing and then then you switch and you're doing oral and then no, no, no, she made up for it immediately by like fuck me now. So it's like let's just move this speed a lot let's just jump from oral right to fucking. That makes up for it. Just stick it in me.

If you don't mind, we're gonna skip the oral and stick it in my pussy. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Let's just do that then.

I mean, we all knew where it was going. With the WhatsApp group chat. Come on, Richard. Anybody I step in bed with who I know has great cardio, I already know I'm gonna lose.

I already know. And I know he's got great cardio because you could just see it in their body. I know I'm gonna lose this race. That's fine.

If you could just knock it down a level or not, give me a chance. You're at the regular Olympics. I'm at the Special Olympics. You're, you give me a break a little bit.

Uh, so we were at one point where, I was lying on my back. She was cowgirl on him. She lays down some towels, right? I know at this point she's probably gonna squirt, which I'm fine with.

She's like, Well, this is how she, she squirts. He has to fuck her like a locomotive at that point. And I'm looking while it's happening, and I'm like, Well, I can't do that. OK, that's way, that's way too much cardio and work and practice he's doing it from a lying still.

Yeah, he's doing hip thrusts, basically. It's not, it's not like he gets his. Legs involved at all. This is a pure butt exercise, and she's squatting with her, her quads the entire time.

They're doing some sort of ton trick workout that you would only see on a porn channel. This is how you work out your quads, and he's gonna work out his glutes, and you're gonna squirt at the same time. Let's go. Like that's, and that's wasn't 30 seconds long.

No, no, no, no, no, no, it's like upwards of 3 minutes, but I'm looking at it. I'm like, I, I can't do that. And then he turns to me. He's like, Are you in the squir?

I was like, well, I mean, I'm fine with it. It happens. It's just not really like it's like not my thing. I'm, I'm, he sort of threw me under the bus.

You're like, well, she doesn't squirt, so we don't really, you know, you don't, I mean, you know, I blame it on her. No, I didn't say that. Well, it's just not, it's like the thing with me with squirting is like anything that is bodily fluids. I'm just not.

I'm just not. It's just who I am as a person, whether it's anything that is bodily fluid. It's, I don't really connect with it too much. Just don't.

I'm just not that guy that's like squirt on my face. So what happens? She says, I'm gonna squirt on your face. Right after he asked you, are you into it?

I'm pretty sure I said no. And I realized, oh, I, I'm next to him. I'm, I'm kind of in the line of fire. But even at that point, I'm like, All right, so if I get it on my face, I'm like, I'm fine with it, whatever.

I don't really care. But he had asked me because he's in the line of fire, I should politely ask, I'm gonna. Right, right. But I was like, I, I don't care.

Anyway, we had switched. So this is the nightmare of everything. We had switched, she's like, now you try it. And I'm like, I watched how this was done.

I didn't practice. I didn't go to this class. I can barely do one hip thrust. I don't have that kind of stamina, so you need like some like bouncy bouncy elastic belt to help you.

But she's as sweet as she is. She's a little bit pushy. She's like, I gotta squirt. She gets up all her things.

I gotta squirt on your face, and then someone puts a towel on my face. That was neat because you were like, do I need goggles? Do I need goggles for this or what? So someone puts a towel on my face and they're like, and go.

And like special needs, he had to start grinding my hips up and down as fast as I can. I could tell immediately this is not fast enough is like 25% the speed that he was going. 100%. This is gonna go nowhere really fast.

Bless her heart. She used to be it's so polite. She gave it, she gave it like a full minute and then she's like, Yeah, this isn't this isn't gonna happen. I'm like, All right, well, yeah, I could, I could have told you.

I appreciate the failure. And putting me in that position. So I wasn't completely finished at the end. And I was like, well, let's try to finish this off with a bang.

Lauren, bend over, let's DVP you. And you're like, uh, let's not do that. Let's, why don't, why don't we instead just go to bed? And I was like, no, no, no, let's try to try to DVPU.

This is again, this is why you load up on those shivers, loosen everything up, you know, it did help, yeah, it's the anal opener, it's the opener. It's just the opener now that's the opener. It's the anal opener. It's the vage opener, things you can't write on a package.

It's the opener, the opener. That's what they should. I can write that on social media, that the opener, and I'll put the link in the promo code in the show notes below to get some shivers. Yeah.

Nobody needs to know what it means. So I'm like, bend over, we're gonna stick both of them inside of you. This is how it went. I could probably play it out in real time because it didn't last very long.

Again, I have trouble seeing who goes in first. I was like, Well, you go first. No, I'll go in first. No, you're going first.

Uh, you put them in. No, you try to put it in. Let's put all put them in together. Let's duck duck goose.

It's just a catastrophe. So then we finally, I was finally like, I'm in. And then I heard him say, Well, I'm in. I was like, Oh, we're in, but we're, I'm completely still, right?

So I'm like, is a success, right? I start to gently start to fuck you, and I could see that you're like, uh, uh. Uh, uh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. So I gently try to fuck you a little bit more and you're like, and we're done.

That was it. That was it. OK, I'll take it. I'll take it as a win.

So we did that. It was, um, sort of a win practice. So we came out that night with that little DVP when I mean a little, it was just a little. It was under, it was just a little bit of DVP.

It wasn't, wasn't much. I don't think that that feels pleasurable to me. Yes, you do. Listen to me.

Yes, you do. All right, I'm going to buy a double dildo. That to because I've seen them. And I'm going to put that on Peggy with it.

And when you can take that, then I will re-attempt. I don't think that's fair at all. What made me laugh so much is she was like, Yeah, let's try DVP. And I was like, go ahead.

And she was like, no, on you. Why are you siding with Richard on this? Because it was a great idea. God, and his poor face because he was laying down.

I was faced, we were facing each other. You were behind me. His poor face was just like, I don't think this is a good idea for her. Like you could just see the worry on his face.

And he was just like, Listen, at that point I knew he was trapped. He was trapped. You were straddling him. I was already climbing on top.

He was, there was nowhere he could go. Just bless his heart. His face was just like, I'm feeling for you. I feel for you.

I'm here for you. I'm not going to move. I didn't need his opinion. I just needed his cock.

Well, I mean, we may, we may not have fucked like the porn stars that she just dropped right at the beginning, but to me with the lighting and the bodies and the visuals, it did look like, but we tried and cheers to that. We tried, we did try. We were in a porn, except it was our first porn and they're like 10th porn. But another PSA, I told her this, never tell anyone right before you're about to play.

I was with 3 porn stars right before, like it, it takes every piece of confidence out of your body, like, oh. Awesome. Um, so it was great. Honestly, don't know if they'll have sex with us again.

Don't know if the people will invite us back to their party again. So keep winning, Richard and Lauren. Keep winning. But we had fun and we'll get to take those memories with us.

Desire, what's up, that band, man? Go stop that. I don't know when we'll be up there, but we will be. We are going to be in South Jersey for the friction party Liquid Lust in like 2 weeks.

Or if you're listening to this late, we're already there and you missed it. Now a quick plug for, uh, we'll be giving away some taboo toy stuff. Are we giving away taboo toy stuff for friction? Yeah, we're gonna do, um, something for like the best costume, and then we're gonna be giving away shivers.

Oh yeah, yeah, shivers, but it's a different ad buy. You're, you're in the wrong slot, you know what I mean? But the other thing that we're doing with Taboo toys is we have some electronics that we're getting from. In the United States and we're doing the bag of dicks technique.

So this is the other reason we're using taboo toys. Buying a bunch of taboo toys to do dicks in a bag. If you haven't used this method, we suggest that you use taboo toys to do it. If you're ever trying to smuggle something into Mexico, they, they don't really look for drugs, uh, but they do look for electronics and cigarettes and other weird shit.

They really seem to give a shit about. So if you wanna hide that stuff, we recommend that you put it in a bag of dicks. So go to Taboo Toys and buy all of the crap you can, get a bag, fill it with a bag of Dicks. It's not stupid to get a little lube and just wipe them down, make them a little sticky, make them a little slippery, and put your items inside of that bag.

I guarantee. To you, it's not the bag they're going to go through. That bag will be taken and put to the side rather quickly. So we're doing that when we go back because we have some stuff that we have to take, take back.

So thank you Taboo Toys for providing us with the camouflage we need to mule our electronics. God, I hope Mexico's not listening to this. And if you want to save while you're buying your bag of dicks, use our promo code room 77 at checkout and you'll save 15%. Yeah, I was just thinking about that couple that we were with, Lauren, and I'm thinking back and they were originally going to our event in October and they canceled.

And now I'm thinking that they did it because we sucked in bed. No, they did. They canceled before we had sex with them. Yeah, but they knew it.

Like they felt it. They felt it coming. You know what? Let's just cancel this thing so it's not awkward twice.

Do you think like our our WhatsApp chat flirt got like we got bad sexting and they were like, Oh, they're going to be bad in bed? It's possible, but I'm, I'm connecting the two, right. Now, the truth is we have a lot of things coming up. So we got the event that everybody should go to still, it's in October.

When is it? 11th through the 16th. Make sure you get your asses there. It's a lot of fun.

We also are about to announce February Flirt, which is right smack in the middle of February. We haven't officially released the date, but you can figure it out. Can't be more in the middle of February, but we have a. The schedule after friction.

Then we go to France where surely one of us is getting raped. I've already set up counseling. And then we go on a temptation, no, no, no, then we go to our event where the couple will not be. And then we go on a temptation cruise, which hopefully they bring that two-piece band.

I hope they go on tour and that couple that I'm talking about is supposed to also be on the Temptation cruise. I can confirm that they will. Well, well, unless they still have time to cancel. Yeah, you're right, because they did book it.

So if they cancel that cruise, I, I think it's us. Am I building this in my head too much? Just a little bit, I think. Also, I wanted to let everybody know that this is the month of our anniversary, and I don't want to put you on the spot, Lauren, but you have 2 seconds to answer this.

How many years has it been? 14. You are so fucking wrong. 17 years we've been married.

So many that you forgot. Listen, I round down like my age. You're just cutting out the bad moments and the bad years because collectively 14 good years. What are we going to do to celebrate?

Should we register? I want to celebrate their wedding bliss of being bonded together so much so that one of them has no idea how long they've been married. Ashamed of yourself. How about a GoFundMe?

Let's just straight up ask for money in crypto. Well, I don't pay taxes on it. Hell no. That's all we have.

Again. Where do they go to join us at our wonderful event, Lauren, and then let's get out of here. Everything is down in the show notes. If you just scroll down, you can find all of the links and everything.

You can go to room 77life.com, all down in the show notes. We hope to see you there. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go leave a positive review. Or for more information, go to room 77life.com.

Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out. Maybe in Be