Cruising For a Schmoozing: Troubles Aboard the Temptation Cruise

All right, Lauren, this question comes from Victor in Victor, New York. That's convenient. My wife and I got into the lifestyle a few years ago, and it was a great decision. I have a lot of fun when we're playing.

The problem is, is she specifically doesn't turn me on anymore. What should I do? Well, Victor, I think it's, it's time for maybe a little self reflection. Maybe it's time to revisit your marriage, revisit your relationship, revisit your decisions.

Because if your wife isn't turning you on during this, the whole bedrock of the lifestyle depends on the two of you connecting and getting turned on by, by one another. So I may pause a little bit before that next play date. Or you can do what I do and just close your eyes and think of somebody else. Yeah, that's what?

What? Who are you thinking of when we're fucking? It's not Aaron. Aaron, I said not Aaron.

Oh. We'll be right back. Bikini Addiction. Lauren, hold on.

I was contacted last night from Bikini Addiction. There's some information they want us to share and they want us to pass on. It sounds important. It is.

It's getting colder out there. I know that everybody's mind isn't necessarily on bikinis. I don't know. Maybe they are.

Maybe people. Heating up their living rooms and maybe they're jumping in the shower and pretending they're in a tropical rain. I don't know your life, OK. This is what I am here to share.

Santa, sadly, Santa has developed a small coke problem. Yes, yes, his heart is not what it used to be. Mrs. found out she went to Miami and I only know this because I saw her profile in SDC.

She opened up an OnlyFans account. She brought the elves, and let me tell you something, these little fuckers are perverted. Oh shit, I am gonna renew. So Rudolph got this whole thing started.

Red nose. How do we not see that coming? He couldn't handle it either. Sad but true.

Rudolph's dead. How did he die? His heart basically exploded. Oh shit, I'm sorry, little children who listen to Room 77 Swinger podcast.

This is how you can help. Let's lighten the load for Santa Claus. You people just buy a bunch of heavy crap. Let's not do something that's gonna blow out Blitzen's hammies.

Let's give it a break this year. What you can do is order bikinis because they're light, they can be transported, and you're saving a reindeer and helping get Santa back on track. Help him kick this. Get on that wagon, Santa.

How do we help them help Santa and help not Rudolph, he's dead. How do they do this? Go to bikiniadddiction.com and be sure and use room 77 for 10% off. And what about all those people who say, I already have every bikini.

You can still design your own at the custom site, Bikini Addiction Customs.com and check the show notes for the link and password on how to get in. Do they have any in Rudolph Red? They do, and it has a little white dust on it. Perfect.

Rest in peace, Rudolph. Sorry, kids. 77 is how it is said in British English, 77. In American English it would be pronounced as 77 77 77.

All right, Lauren, we have started. Yes we have. How are you feeling? Rested, I think finally.

You rested? I don't believe you. We are in our new studio, hopefully our last studio. Um, we are back from 5 days at sea after volunteering for Save the Whales campaign.

I feel better as a as a person. How many do you think we saved? Whales, at least 100. Oh yeah, it's so good.

At least 100 whales. I stopped counting, to be honest with you. Actually, it was a temptation cruise we were on, I think. I get those confused all the time when we go out for charity and when we go on swinger cruises.

Sometimes they feel the same, and we're gonna talk a little bit about that. I still have some questions left over from the last one that we're gonna dump in there that still kind of relate. We're just gonna tell you our experience and why it's probably our last. Cruise, and I don't mean last swinger cruise.

I just mean last cruise of any kind of any sort. Why our specific opinion. Now, just as a note, and this has nothing to do with why we wouldn't go on a cruise again, but we were initially dropped at the wrong ship, checked in our bags to the wrong ship, and the person that we were with, uh, as we were walking away said, I think we just gave our bags to the wrong ship, but let's keep going. And I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, let's go back.

And check if your feeling is correct. And we went and they were going to a different ship. Yeah, it was a different terminal, and that's when we realized that. We're like, what?

So that was almost an absolute catastrophe. Can you imagine? I mean, clothing optional, but literally like, no, we would have had nothing and it was not even like there's a shop. Yeah, that would have been, it would have been incredibly a horrible start to the trip.

So, you know, you get on the ship, this is the 2nd. cruise that we had been on. So we sort of knew the routine at this point, you get checked, like you're going into Czechoslovakia, you go in and they make sure that you're not contrabanding anything in, a lot like customs, which makes sense because you are going into other countries and they just want to take care of it there. So we go in, but one of the first things they do is they take you on a safety thing first.

They get it out of the way quickly and efficiently. They basically take you as a group to a meeting point. So you basically go through this gigantic ship. It's this confusing maze.

You go up elevators and stairs and down hallways, and you wind up in this restaurant and everybody's looking at you, and then they look at you and they go, OK, if anything bad happens, everybody meet here. And you're like, I have no idea where I am. I didn't leave bread crumbs. No, I could not find this place with a compass and a Sherpa.

If you asked me, totally, I would be completely sober, by the way, can you imagine? Like I saw the movie Titanic. If something happens, I'm running straight to one of those boats and I'm throwing an old lady out. Sorry, children.

Well, thank God there's no children. No, I'm throwing an old lady out and I'm jumping on board. That's right. That's where I'm meeting.

I got it in my head. I'm not going to this restaurant, which doesn't. You look great, by the way. So we get to the room.

Now, we got treated to this room. I, I, I can't say enough about this suite. When I tell you it's a million square feet. It's got a dining room, living room, a bar, a jacuzzi, a sun deck, 3 bedroom.

It was this amazing, stupid. It was it was just so silliness. It was amazing. If you were gonna shoot the real world of Temptationruises.

This, this is the suite they would use and this entire thing sits overlooking the pool and the area where everybody parties. So you are constantly looking down on the party and I, I don't mean that in a figurative sense, but it's kind of how you feel. You, you, they feel like your subjects, like what are the people doing today? It's a little like you're on American.

An idol, you finally, you're looking down there and all of a sudden you're like Randy Jackson. You're looking at people and you're like, look at her. No, dog, that's not working for me. Yeah, look at that one.

Yeah, look at that one. I also saw that one. There was one girl we all four of us saw it separate times and pointed her out. She looked, there was a couple that I was like, how about them?

Bring them to me. And then I realized I didn't have that power. We only had a balcony. You, you come hither.

But uh it doesn't really work like that apparently. Great for me in that window and it being clothing optional because I got to penis judge the entire time I was there. I just got to look down and check out penis size all day long, which is great for just for my data points so I can so I can put it in my penis diary, you know. I have some of those leftover questions regarding uh just penis size in general and the woman's perspective on like there was one guy, there was a few, I mean, there's a few guys that were like, oh my God, that guy's huge.

And then and then there were some some normal ones there. I noticed. Here's the perspective from women. Oh God.

Why do you have a tape measure. All right, settle down, everyone. Jesus, where did you come in from? Where are you from?

We're from Phoenix, Arizona, United States. Yeah, it's a place. I want to talk to your wife really quick, really quickly. Can you come here for one second?

You look lovely today. I love that bikini on you, on me. Your tits look great in it. Do me a favor really quickly.

Can you with both hands show me the size of an average penis with both hands? Average, average. No, no, no, just the world's average, the world's average penis. OK, stay right there.

Ladies and gentlemen, she just showed me an 8-inch penis as average. OK, I now, now can you show me, can you show me? No, you don't get to change. You don't get to change.

No, no, no. Now show me a large penis. A large penis. Stop.

That was a 10-inch penis. That was a that was a 10-inch penis. Proof again, women are insane. She's never done home improvement projects is my guess.

Yeah, no, unrealistic. Unlike me, are you obsessed with ginormous penises? Not as much as you, no, I, I'm more like what they can do compared to the size. Mine just sits there, mostly.

It's a, it's a model penis. Yeah, see, you're modeling your penis to everyone, but. You think that a giant penis is a great conversation opener? Yes, but sometimes they seem a little scary, you know, like, I don't know if I'd want to get on that thing.

That might, yeah, that might hurt. That might hurt. But if I was, if I was a woman, if I had a vagina, which by the way, if I did, I'd be laying down constantly. I, I'd be, I'd be such a whore.

There's not a question in my mind. I'd be such a whore. So in my mind it's like I would look at something and be like, even if it was scary, I'd be like, but I gotta try. I mean, don't get me wrong, yeah, I mean you always wonder, right?

You're like, well, how is that gonna go? I think that might feel good. But then, then my mind goes to after like how much is that gonna hurt after the fact. That's a good point.

All right, now to you, sir, um, I don't know if you're like me. When you watch porn and you see these gigantic cocks, can you appreciate it? I think that's the coolest thing ever. Like, where, where do they find these guys?

I mean, it's like every porn has a dude with a giant cock. Do you sometimes look at it and you're like, come on, that's not real. That can't be real. That would be like having an.

Arm that goes down to my foot that can't be real. What does he do for a proportion porn is what he does. Really, really quickly. One of my first questions is this.

If you could for me, please, with both hands, can you show me the size of an average penis with your hands, with both hands, both hands. No, no, no, not the circle. Circumference, no, no, no. All right, say, don't move.

Very good, very good. You, you measured out with your hands about a 6 inch penis. That is very good. At first, I don't know if you saw, but she was doing girth first.

If you saw, she had her hands. I was, I, I have to measure it like I know like so I'm like, wait, what is he? And then I have to fix it. It's not that, like she was holding a Coke bottle she started with 2.

But, so, so, all right, so, all right, good, good. I haven't done this with anybody. Show me average girth, average girth. So, I have to start where he is, and then, so about, oh my God, give me a kiss.

You make me feel, you just made me feel so much better. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Oh God, anytime you need to feel better, just, you know, yeah, he, he has, he has, he has a beautiful thick cock which is really, really gay.

All right. With your two hands, show me the length of an average size cock with your two hands. Stop. Don't move.

She did it. She did 5 inches. That's really good. That's really good.

No, we, we, we the world's average, we've got, it's about 5 or 6. She's right, she's right. Listen, we've had some, some women doing some what the fuck. So hold on, hold on, he's only 3, that's why he's, he's so upset.

I don't know I'm like, what the fuck? Hold on, you should be excited. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You're factoring in my penis.

Hold on, hold on, no, we're not factoring in your, your penis. Alright, alright, alright, hold on. Hold on, I can change this up. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

With your 2, with your 2, so am I. So am I. I am a, I am obsessed with penises. I know from your podcast, right?

All right. So now, now, now with your two hands, show me the size of his penis. Hold on. Yeah, I gotta see it.

I wanna see it now. I want to see it. I mean, not now because I already lied to him and I said you don't have to whip your dick out. No, not now, not now.

No, fully erect. my face. It was good. It was a good crowd.

It didn't have quite the energy that it had the last time. Last time it's just seemed very fun, very social. This, this time it seemed a little bit more subdued. I don't, I don't know really how to describe it.

It was subdued because people were separated into too many spaces. One of the issues with a cruise ship, I mean, there's just so much space, so many places to go, but I just felt like the social part of it was lower. It was already a. A little more difficult to socialize in the first one, but it seemed like even more.

And the other difference with this, this particular cruise, this one was completely clothing optional. It didn't have a clothing optional section. The entire ship was clothing optional, which changed the dynamic just a little bit. People didn't really kick in till till a little bit later.

Once again, and this is for not just the ship, every hotel on earth, they still have somehow not figured out the solution to not enough chairs to guests. This is a dilemma that has been facing society since the invention of a hotel, that their amount of guests and they seem like they can only seat about 25% of them. It's crazy. And then out of those seats, only 25% of those are being used.

Yeah, so this is my PSA to the people out there. When you want to go down there, by the time you wake up at 8:30 in the morning and you look down on your subjects, I mean, the people. And they're already placed their stuff on the chairs, and I'm not the type that's like going to rush down like the Amazing Race and put my stuff down on a chair. I'm just not, I just don't have it inside of me.

You know, at some point during the day, even if you wanted to go down there and sit, there's just nothing available. And I think the thing that bugs me the most is the people that put stuff down on chairs and never go to them. They never go to them. And I don't know if they go someplace else.

Putting things in multiple places or they're just staying in their room or it's just a personal contest to them to wake up in the morning. I can get it down there. I can get the first one. Now I'm gonna go back to sleep and I'll see everybody tonight.

If you're one of those people that does that, that just either put your stuff there, because you go down there at 3, it's 8 o'clock, you see the stuff there and then you see it at 3 o'clock, and shit hasn't moved. You, you have either your, your towel that's sitting down there or your stupid, your stupid pineapple clamp. Or somehow you've taken a flip-flop and have stretched it over two lounges, claiming it and it stays there from 8:30 in the morning till 3 o'clock. All I say to you people is, fuck you all day long.

Fuck you all day long. There were times when I was like, I'll go move that one. That one hasn't moved. And I'm like, let's go lay out naked.

And then we end up having to go to the front of the ship or the back ship. I still don't know which way was, you know, we've been through this before at other hotels. It's like not only are they, do they do it, they're watching their shit from afar. Waiting for you to do it so they can come over and go, that's my chair.

That's my chair. That's my stuff. That's my chair. And you just want to be like, All right, Karen, just stop it.

We have done that before. Pick a place because you've been in the, you've been in the pool for 4 hours. Pick a spot either here or there. And if you want a place to put your stuff, then grab one chair.

You don't need to. Yeah, it's incredibly annoying and it's not just this cruise. It really. most hotels, it's it's just one of those things, but it's, it's one of the reasons that, um, I kind of stay antisocial during the day and the first day we did absolutely nothing.

And I mean absolutely nothing. We went out that night, but then, you know, it was kind of an early night. Uh, the second night, we had some scheduled sex, scheduled it. Yeah, because you have to.

There's so many people. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if that's why we scheduled it, but I mean, we, we had to have sex with them. They're beautiful people. We have a lot of fun with them.

So it was mandatory. Oh, I, yeah, I mean, y'all scheduled it. I was already asleep for a nap and then you were like, honey, wake up. You got to get ready.

We have scheduled sex. I'm like, oh, yeah. Either way, it was very well worth it. Had a lot of fun.

Went back to their cabin. Did it really, really well. I was pretty proud of all of us. She wanted me to come on her.

That's what I remember just her thing and I was like, oh no, I don't know if I can come tonight because I have a lot of illegal stuff in my system right now. Somebody on the ship had asked me, Do you have any gummies that can make me feel better? I said, I do actually, but I actually only had 2 left since it was the feeling of giving and sharing. I figured I'm going to give these away.

And so I did. I gave my only two shivers away. Tis the time of free stuff, we know that, and Shivers knows that. So they're giving away stuff for free, which you should do.

If you do want some magic mushrooms and you do want some hemp derived THC gummies, we are gonna give them to you. Well, we're not, but Shivers is, Shivers is gonna give them to you. They were doing a ho ho bag. I saw a lot of those on the ship.

So this is fitting right in. 4 full size bottles in this poho bag, full size female and male shivers, and a female and male magic mushrooms. If you go to room 77life.com, click Become a member, and the first person who is an annual member of the super important or higher tier will get this ho ho back because you are the biggest hoe. Biggest ho ho.

And they're giving away more at shivers.store or just click the link in the episode description. From now. Till the end of the year, they are giving 20%, which is double the amount of discount on the entire store. 20%, that's basically free.

Yeah, so you use a different code. This code is ho ho 77 and you will get 20% off your order. Go get your magic mushrooms, go get your hemp-based THC gummies and have an amazing trippy, fun holiday. And this goes out to our members.

Thank you so much for supporting us and we want everyone else to get inside. Get inside our private chat, become a member, go to the site and join. We're almost 100 episodes in. If you listen, you're getting anything out of this podcast, Advice, a laugh, an erection, whatever you get, consider giving something back.

Yes, we would accept sexual favors, but we don't know how to do it logistically. So, member support is a huge part of our life and it's a big part of how we maintain. So please consider going to room 77 and joining up, getting inside of our private chat and becoming a member of our. Cult group becoming a member of our group.

Totally meant to say group. Lauren, where do they go? Go to room 77life.com and in the upper right click Become a member. Shout out to Happy people too, Alex and Madison, Pacific Northwest couple, Ashley, Dakota 2000, Joe, Samantha, Robert, CJ 2, Daniel, Tess and Laws from Down Under, and BLT.

Thank you all for joining our cult group. Damn it. Wasn't able to to to come but regardless of that, we did. A lot of fun.

We were all kind of playing and then he and I, both of them are such good kissers, which I absolutely love. And he and I started doing this thing because we just got so fixated on watching the two of you. And it was so sexy with the lighting and the way that she was like climbing on you and just dominating you. We just got mesmeric.

Memorized and start like grinding like we were in high school almost against each other and watching you guys. And it was so hot. It was like you don't even know sometimes the stuff that ends up being hot and turned you on and it's just like, I encourage most ladies to just climb on top of me and take me for a ride and for their partners to just. Watch for a while so that they could pick up some stuff.

So something, yeah, if you want to bring a notepad or just take notes in your phone. Oh, speaking of phones, I tried to take, it was so hot that they tried to take some photos and some, I'm so bad at this. This is the end of our OnlyFans career. The only video I grabbed from it was 57 seconds of unusable video.

That was like the first part was just too dark and then the second part was just sideways and then as soon as it came into focus and looked hot, my big fat thumb got in the way. I should send you to like some sort of school. It really is hard. Yeah, that's why I'm hiring a cameraman.

If anybody wants that job, uh, we are hiring for a cameraman, being hot and hung or being hot is, is, uh, is extra. It's a bonus for us. You'll, you'll probably get a higher salary. Um, so every night was basically the same, and we went out every, we participated in some way.

Well, I in some way participated every theme night. The nights were fun. Again, it was a little difficult to be social. It's just a little bit more difficult to meet people there.

Again, I don't know what that is. It comes with the cruise. It comes with, it just comes with it. I don't know if it's part of the volume of the music or the fact that people are so hammered by the time you get.

Get out there. I don't know what it is. I think it's the volume of the people and the and the space. It's one of the things that makes us, makes me appreciate our little event so much because, which is sold out, by the way, there's no intimacy whatsoever.

You're constantly seeing people for the first time over and over again. And some people I tried to see, I couldn't even find them. The other people from what you notice, sometimes you are interested in people. The people that you are interested in, a lot of the times are rubbernecking because they're seeing new people, and they're like, Well, I got 5 things I'm working on right now.

I'm like, well, you're going home alone tonight, because you're working too many angles. It's just frustrating in that way. There just wasn't a lot of flirting. And there's definitely not a lot of closing of deals.

If you want to flirt with some couple, this is what I found sort of works best for us is everyone dances pretty much as a couple, most of the people, and the best you can do is just sort of navigate to a point of adjacency to the couple you want to flirt with and you like dance. Near them and then try and catch eyes. And you know, maybe you can get an introduction in, but it's like you just got to dance near people. And that's kind of what we ended up doing.

Yeah, I mean, there's couples that are like having a lot of fun out there and dancing with one another, but usually the flirting is like a lot of people that are standing near one another, but not necessarily talking to one another. And by the way, when I'm out there, even if I am dance flirting, I have no idea what I'm doing, what I'm doing when a woman comes up and starts dancing with me. Number one, the first thing I started doing. was lose the bottle of water because I always had one hand holding a bottle of water, which only gave me one hand to work with.

So like one hand was on her waist, and then the other hand had a bottle on her face. Like I didn't know what to do with that rubbing her tit with the bottle of water. And like I do get very confused with women dance flirting with me because I don't really ever know how much is too much, how much is too little, what they expect. But I did ask.

I did ask to find out to get to the bottom of the mystery. Do you dance flirt? On the dance floor. Absolutely.

Tell me what I'm supposed to do. Where are my hands? What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to dry hump you?

Am I feeling your titties? I go to a strip club mode where my hands, I'm sitting in my hands and I'm not allowed to touch keys. I just freeze. I don't know what to do.

So from a woman's perspective, for the love of God, what do we do? If I'm backed up into you and grinding on you, one hand is on my hip, so you can pull into me without it being like too handy. And then the other one is like around my neck. Soft touches.

You're doing soft touches, OK. You're pulling me in. Do I touch a booby? I do.

That's what these are for. Like if anybody pretends that you're not supposed to, that's just ridiculous. But I don't touch a vagina. OK, so I do not go under your clothes and start finger banging you.

So one thing that I do though is I sometimes will go over a breast, but I won't touch the nipple because I feel like we're trying to keep it PG-13. Am I allowed to graze the nipple? Graze the nipple. OK.

We're sometimes we're dancing face to face. Are we talking to one another? Are we saying things or are we just looking at one another? Mostly just looking, unless it's a, you guys ready to get out of here?

Oh, like you're ready to start talking. Are you ready to go? Like business conversations only. All right, and this is my last question, and this one's really, really important.

When you're grinding up against us, do you expect us to get fully erect? No. Are you sure? Because you seem like you do.

Because you grind into it like you're looking for it. Well, you're kind of testing the waters because like people are nice and maybe they're not that into you, but no, no, see this is, no, no, no, no, it's hard, then you're like, OK, no, no, no, no, I could be really into you, but that does not necessarily mean that I can get hard at the drop of a hat on a dance floor in Isla Mujeres, Mexico at one o'clock in the morning. We are your clothes, right? I'm not saying it's an expectation.

I'm saying if it happens, that is a good sign for me that I can keep. And what if it doesn't happen? If it doesn't happen, then the clothes have to come off and we try again. OK, but you're not thinking at all he's not into me?

OK, no. If you're there dancing, like you can avoid people if you're not into them. If you're there dancing with me and letting me grind on you, you're probably OK with it. A beautiful woman is dance flirting with you.

I don't know what to do, really. Yeah, where do I put my hands? Exactly. But do you know what to do?

No, but. I just try to fake it and hope they don't see me as a fraud. We usually use the same tactic. I put my hips in.

I do a lot of grindy things. I hope that I haven't taken so many drugs that they think I'm a Ken doll. Do you think they expect us to get hard on that dance floor with no, you don't think so, no, my friend. I just spoke to someone who said, Well, maybe we'd like to see how much you like us.

Well, I do think if you get hard for many women. They, they feel that that's a connection it makes them helps them feel maybe a little extra special, but most women that are doing that know there's a lot going on there's a lot going on in a guy's head there's lots of stuff in your system whether it's alcohol or other things, and that's an interference. OK, if that's fair and if that's a fair assessment while we're dancing, am I allowed to put my hand down her panties and see if she's wet? A big awkward pause, right?

Thinking that's maybe a consent area, right? Like, do you mind if I touch to see if your panties are wet? But, but let's just say in a world where that was possible, could you imagine if I was dancing and I checked her oil and it so happened that she was low and I thought she doesn't like me. So we're back to the volume of liquid again.

Yes, I'm I'm obsessed're really a weights and measurements guy. Yes, yes, this isn't about sex. This is about weights and measurements. This is about judging myself.

Do you dance a lot? OK, so here's my question. A lot of times guys are in this situation. Let's say it's a stranger and a girl comes up and she starts to dance.

Usually what they do is they start to grind up against you. What are we supposed to do? Am I supposed to grab the ass? Am I supposed to grab titties?

Am I supposed to pull hair? So I think we all want to know what, what, what are. Some good things from your perspective. What do you want to feel on your end?

Well, it depends. If you kind of come up behind me and I like push back into you, yeah, that's what you're doing. All bets are off. Like you can do anything, yeah, pretty much over the nipple, OK, but not like finger bang you.

That's a little too far. I mean, depending, depending, right, but depending. OK. All right, now face to face, we're dancing close.

Are we talking to each other? Are we, let's do it really. Quick, like, so we're here. Oh yeah, we're here.

I got us both. We're here, right? I mean, is this OK? My hand on your ass.

This is good. OK. What, what else would you suggest I do at this point? Is this good?

Like in the back of your neck? Do I give you a little kisses? All right, that's totally acceptable. Is it, do I say things to you if you want?

Do I nibble on the neck yet? What? You haven't nibbled on the neck yet. I think it's a rule.

OK. They're not gonna be able to hear that though. If you do it right, you'll be able to hear her. No, no, no, not those noises.

OK, do I say things like this is groovy? I don't stay, stay away from things like that. Now let's go back to the other position. So turn around please.

I like this lesson. All right, so you're doing this now. Where are my hands? On my, on your hips like here, right?

And I could do this, like a hand over your titty, right? OK. And sometimes you girls bend over like this, right? Now here's my, here's where it starts to get a little bit difficult for you.

You ready? Sit back down because you gotta think about this one. When you get into that position, do you expect us to get fully hard? Expect no.

OK, but what? if it happens, I get happy. OK, but if it doesn't, if it doesn't, then it's a later thing. It could be just nervousness or, or that I'm standing dancing and can't get hard at the same time I'm dancing.

Yeah, that's, you know what I mean? It doesn't bother me because I, I always feel insecure because I think she, she, she thinks I'm going to get rock hard right now. And my body's in fight or flight dance move. Yeah, no, it's not an expectation.

It's like a fun surprise when it does happen. So even feeling the bulge of a soft penis and balls is OK. It's hot, it's hot to you, even if it's not hard. OK, that's good to know.

That's good to know because I think a lot of guys, and give it back to him for a second, I think a lot of guys may assume sometimes, oh, I'm not hard, she's gonna take it as an insult. And then it gets to a point with me because I'm a bitter soul. If it's this hard to talk to this person, how are we going to invite them? Yeah, like it just gets like, oh, I can't.

It's frustrating. I don't have enough energy to go through this process. It's 1 o'clock in the morning. There was one couple that we saw that was this hot couple we ran into coming down on the elevator on the way to the dance floor.

I love them. They were so cute. Yeah, I love them so much and I was very invested in them. And then I was really getting a great vibe from her.

He was very popular with, with the girls, right? So it was, it was hard to get a handle on him because he was getting a lot of attention. We just literally never saw them again. And that's the other problem with the ship.

It's, it's like, all right, well, you just never see them again. Yeah, it's kind of like an Irish goodbye. And then that was Irish goodbye forever and ever and ever. We checked out the playroom.

They did a lot of, they did a lot of changes to the playroom. They built the largest playroom we've ever seen in the world. They did a pretty good job. They set up all the beds and the lighting.

I mean, it was absolutely humongous. They actually took like a disco and turned it into a playroom. It was really, it was really good. The, the only negative thing that I had to say about this could have been a little bit dimmer.

There was an arena area where you could sit like an audience and watch, which is kind of cool, but you have to be, you have to be ready for that. And then the other The thing is, there was a path that you could walk through to get to, to get to the beds, but what, what that turned into was people were using it like they were sampling a model home. So, so people were like playing. People would be like walking through, like they're looking at the square footage of the dining room, like, hm, it's a good space in here.

You're like, 00, that's cool. That's cool. And they're like with a group of 6. we were guilty of it tromping through.

We were guilty of it and then bailed, bailed halfway through our tour because we were like, I do not want any part of this thing anymore. You're like, there's a space between a wall and a bed and a bed. Go out over there, exit. I was, get out of here.

Get off of this tour. This is, I feel embarrassed. It was embarrassing to be a part of this. So I, I would not make it conducive for people to tour the.

The corn maze. Yeah, I would sort of give one path in and one path out. But other than that, I think they, I think they did a really good job. So we were striking out so badly that we just scheduled another sex session.

Yeah, this time we've decided to invite them to the crazy penthouse suite. We hopped in the jacuzzi. Yeah, because we have this entire suite that is crazy. It's so silly and no one's, no one's using it.

And I had imagined. And all of these, you know, sex everywhere and all these people and we're having pre-parties and like we're just having orgies and it just became, it was like a spa. It was we're all in our robes having coffee. Anyway, I was like, come up, let's go.

Let's hop in the jacuzzi. So we hopped in the hot tub, which was really nice. And while we're in there, we were like, we got a little bit hungry. I was like, I have cookies.

Because they brought us cookies, so they were like a variety of cookies. They had like chocolate cookies and they had chocolate chip cookies and the oatmeal cookies, but when we were up there with our friends who were in the suite with us, everybody was stealing all the oatmeal cookie cookies because they were the best. They were hands down, so good. Yeah, so I went back and there was only like one oatmeal cookie left.

I was like, do I save it for myself? Do I give away the oatmeal cookie? So you brought it to, we brought a couple out and we all kind of had a bite of the oatmeal cookie, like we were rationing it and they were like, oh my God. And we're like, see what we're talking about?

This is why we ask for them every day. So we, we, we lay down for the sex. So we start with like y'all kneeling in sort of this. Threesome in a threesome circle and I was down giving both guys a double blowjob, which is my favorite.

That's my favorite way to start always. And I think the three of y'all were up there kissing and I don't really know what was happening. So then I started just incorporating oral of everybody and it was delicious. So then she goes, Oh, she's giving me oral too.

And when I came up, we started kissing and making out and I'm not even neither one of us are really bisexual, but it kind of just branched off into this amazing little girl on girl thing for a hot second. That is special for me. I will always take the opportunity when I'm able to take a small break. So for me, for me, it's great.

But also not on film. None of it. So, um, sex 10 out of 10. Now he, in, in the midst of everything, I watched him come inside of her and I was like, did he just, did he just, did he just come?

Yeah, he was, yeah, he came and I was like, oh, he came. That means I, I think I can come. So then I was, I was fucking you. They started fucking again.

Um, I was like, I think I can come. I think I can come. So I have you on your. Back and I'm fucking you and he is fucking her doggy style.

Her head is closest to me. So we're sort of in opposite directions and I'm watching them and I could feel it coming on and I'm like, I owe her come. She said, come on me. She's come on me and I was fucking you harder and harder.

I could feel myself coming. I'm ready to explode and I jump off of you and I jump onto her and at that moment I realized I'm about to come on her shoulder blade and she has no idea. That I am on top of her coming on her back, which is the least sexy thing I think of, so I'm straddling her and I'm coming on her back, and it sucks because it was kind of a good volume for me too, and I'm like, I don't even know if she can feel this, so I'm gonna be like, oh, I make a loud sound so she can know that something's going on. Meanwhile, she's just getting fucked.

I'm like, oh yeah, she's gonna feel my little bit of cum on her back while she's getting grammed from behind. This is so pathetic, and this is exactly why. I need to come either buckets. Like if, if I came like a gallon of milk on her back, she would have felt it.

If I came like I was shooting a BB gun, she would have felt it. One of those two things would have really, really helped me out, but I have neither. You had to make a sound right again. It's like my penis is crying.

It just drip. Oh, he's tearing, not even crying, just tearing up. Which one would you prefer? Uh, I would prefer strength.

Like when I come, I'd like you to go, ow, that kind of. That's gonna leave a mark. Yeah, I kind of hurt, but it was also very hot at the same time. Here's what other guys decided that they, they would prefer.

OK, when was the last time you had an orgasm? Last night, Ash, you, sir. Tuesday. Is that true?

Yeah. Are you one of those people that just goes, it goes, it goes, and then this is a question about cum. I'm borderline gay, so I get obsessed with penis size and ejaculate, and I'm never happy with the amount of my ejaculate. Are you happy?

With the amount of ejaculate that you ejaculate for the most part, yes, OK, if you had a choice, maybe you have both, but if you could only choose one, what would you rather have a larger quantity like busting open an eclair or power and distance like a hose filled with Jergens lotion? The, like the edging effect, 3 or 4 hours and that thing and then fill up a bucket and then pass out. OK, so you'd rather fill up a bucket than shoot it across the room. OK.

Good enough. If you had to choose overcoming a lot or distance and power, what would you choose? Appreciate the distance. I think distance is the coolest thing when you can spray the wall on the other side of the bed.

That is like my fucking eyes light up like wow, me. Did you see what I have? Yeah, sometimes I see, I see porn where they, these guys jack off in front of mirrors and they just come on the mirrors and these. Walkers are like 3 ft from the mirror.

I'd have to use my penis as a brush. That's what I would have to do. You're, you're younger than me. I'm, I'm, I'm guessing as you have gotten to, I'm, I'm guessing you're 30, let's just say that.

Nobody can see you, so it doesn't matter. But as you, you got to your 30s, or let's say mid-30s, have you noticed that any ejaculate has been declining? Any volume? No, I don't think so.

OK. OK, fuck both of y'all. Oh fuck you. Fuck you.

Is. Anything that you did that made it increase, please tell me what it is. It's her. It's all her.

Oh, she's just making you, the more I blow him, the more it increases. Do you enjoy a lot of cum when he comes? Yes. Where does he put it?

Well, let's see, was it this morning or last night? It was chest to vagina? Jesus Christ. Wow, that was a big area.

She just went from her abdomen all the way up to her neck. Now I want you to take those same measurements. Now keep closing. I'm going to show you what I cover.

Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. There you go. That's it right there. That's what you got.

Nothing's wrong with that. Well, it is when the person's like, did you come? No, this is a true story. One time so little came out that I felt like maybe I should spit, so they felt some sort of moisture drop on them.

Do you allow it in your mouth? Yes. Do you swallow? Yes.

Lauren doesn't really swallow that much. She pretends like she enjoys it and then she, and then she runs to the bathroom. The sink. I run to the sink.

She's a side spinner, a side spinner. It has a term. Yeah, yeah, Lauren, be more like her, please. Why can't you just get used to the taste?

Well, it's pineapple for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That's all I eat is pineapple. Still tastes like cum. I mean, it's got a flavor for, um, I've tasted my own.

It's not bad, but it's nothing I would put on a salad. Hi my friend, how are you? Good. Are you, are you happy with your ejaculate volume?

You would like to increase it, yeah, so would I. Mine's. A teardrop. Like I have a fair amount.

You do. Oh good. I want to get a tattoo teardrop on the head of my penis to represent my disability, yeah, yeah. If you had the choice, you only the two choices, what would you choose, distance or volume?

Distance, distance like, like a Picicasso, just in the hair, not in the hair, not in the hair the hair, yeah, not in the hair. Keep hair out of it, yeah. Uh, last night. Last night, or yeah, this morning.

And, and for you, when is the last time you had or faked an orgasm? Last night, not faked. So at the same time, simultaneously, do you often come together? I usually come 2 or 3 times and then we come together at the end.

Lauren comes days after I do. Now I want to talk about your cum volume. So are you happy with the amount of ejaculate that you have? I honestly don't care.

You really don't care? Why would I care about it? I'm a little obsessed with it. You don't even think about it?

No, and you're not normal, Richard. I, I, I, I understand that this, I don't even think this is a thing. Maybe you're from Hollywood. Can't you get one of those little bags, but instead of blood?

Don't think I haven't. Thought of it. You put jizz in it. Don't think I haven't thought of it.

Some extra, it's called a squib. Don't think I haven't thought of it. I did buy the liquid, the fake cum. We just don't have the apparatus.

Richard could own the market, fake jizz, you know, a little like tube, get it skin color. If there was surgery, if there was surgery where I had to fill up a reservoir, I would get it done. I already have a useless pouch to put it in. I asked him this once already.

He said he would be willing to sacrifice a testicle to put in a fake testicle as a squid to, to hold fake cum, and I'll fill it up. Not normal. I know. What would you rather have more volume of cum or more power and distance?

I would choose distance. That has been the most popular choice so far. I feel like it's more fun. When you come, are you happy with the amount, or would you like more?

Oh, totally more, always, always more, right? The. Orgasm is amazing. ejaculate.

Yeah, but the teardrop is a little bit of a letdown. That's OK. That's kind of the best case scenario. So let's say this.

If you had a choice between volume or distance, what would you choose? That's an amazing question. I think distance. I think distance too.

Yeah, I'd love to. I want them to. There was a time when I could sort of hit a target. Yeah, yeah.

Does it make you feel more manly the further you shoot it? Of course, it's all 2%. Neanderthal and me, they want, oh, look at what I just did to that person's, but you could have the same reaction to volume. That's why I'm curious why you chose distance.

Distance make you feel more manly than having more? Yes, absolutely. It's a Y chromosome thing. When I was of a younger age, I could easily try to hit the face, but now it's really awkward because I have to army crawl up your body.

Same, same, it's just super, super, I'm, yeah. So I came, you came, he came. She was the only one left. Sooner or later, she had, she had used a toy and we all helped her come.

And then I don't even know if she knew I came on her back. I just said, you, you should shower after this. You have come on your back. Our eyes, I don't remember, it's like we rubbed it in a little bit just so you could feel like that something happened on your back and she's like, oh, I think I knew.

Maybe not, but, again, not on video, can't prove it. But he did. We did have one leftover oatmeal cookie. It was hiding under a chocolate chip.

So I said, I'm going to give it to him because he came first. You're gonna give it to him, not the him. Well, it was, yeah, I was gonna say the guy. You do use names.

You don't say the him and the her. I just want people to know that the her was down on me. And uh I had really, I really had fun with the him. So I also want you to picture this man who's who's buffed both of them who are doing the walk of shame at about 34 o'clock in the morning, holding a bunch of feathers because that was part of the theme costume, an oatmeal cookie and a giant vibrator on the way back to their cabin.

She had the cordless magic wand, which if I would have known, I could have said the exact thing that we are promoting today for Taboo Toys. And we said if we had known, we actually would have videotaped it and just use that sound for this ad and we would have had less work. Done. So, and it did work.

She did come. We just don't have video proof. She had the full size magic wand, but the cordless version now waterproof, the one you can submerge into the bathtub. Or take it into the jacuzzi with you.

And it does come with a cord if you want to, but you can go for 4 hours on a cordless motor that is, it's just as powerful as the corded one. This one is amazing. This is the one you use with the cord. It's now cordless and waterproof.

And now if you squirt on it, you won't get shocked. It's absolutely true. So that's a plus. Where do they go to get it?

Go to tabootoys.com and use our promo code room 77 and get 15% off. The ultra. Power, magic wand, waterproof HV 360. It'll be featured on their homepage when you go to tabootoys.com.

I will also put the link directly in the show notes with our promo code room 77. The second to last day, most, a lot of people started getting naked at that point. That's where we went and we laid out, again, not where the people were because it's impossible to find a chair, but we go to like this, this deck area, which is sort of like Siberia, and we go to lay out there. It wasn't that busy.

There were enough people to kind of tease with and try and get. Yeah, because that's, that's always the fun part is going up there and watching people just sort of do a little bit of PDA. It was great. I mean, all the guys were like getting hard and all the people were having a little bit of fun and it was fun being, being up there.

The guy that we sat next to had that who actually sat next to us had the biggest penis in the world. He was the only guy who wouldn't get hard. And I'm like, well, why, why does he have to? He doesn't have to.

I mean, that's what it's like when you have a big cock. You're just like, I have fun, fellas. I win. I'm not even getting hard, and it's bigger, and I'm already bigger than you, so, you know, have fun with your little game.

It was a beautiful package. Yeah, it was all of it together. I have a lot of fun doing that. I wish there was an area where people, it was packed last year because there was only one area, so that, that area existed with more people surrounded, but it was so spread out.

But I have to say there's more people naked in the clothing optional area last year than there was on the actual ship. That's 100% true. So even though they made the ship clothing optional, less people were nude, which means my theory is true. It's like you, you made people less comfortable by doing what you did.

What you did was you made the entire ship clothing optional. You made people feel a little bit more vulnerable, and you needed to make it in a specific place because it just. Confines it and you don't feel like you're under a microscope at that point. Yeah, so having two levels of people looking down on you, you're way less likely to take your clothes off.

Yeah, inside of a certain area, it just felt a little bit more conducive to that environment. It is a mixed crowd still of people who I guess are swingers, not swingers, nudists, not nudist, like topless. Most people are a lot of topless. It's a lot of different people that are that are lumped together in that.

I didn't feel comfortable getting. Naked in the big groupie section as well. And you, you were uncomfortable. Yeah, I know.

So that's, so that's weird. So that's, that's about it. I mean, I, I don't think we would go again, because the vibe just isn't really what we're looking for. There's just too many people.

The, the vibe is, is, it's too large of an area. It's a schedule for sure that is, you have to be like a cruise type person, I think, to enjoy the schedule. And for us, it seemed like the nighttime was really the only time we enjoyed. And I mean, to be fair, I don't really go out during the day during temptation either.

I like a quieter day. I don't like partying by the pool during the day. Well, and that's the only choice you have on a cruise. So that's why I think that's, it goes along with my, there is no quiet pool.

There is no quiet tranquil area. So it's like you don't really have a choice other than to stay in your million square foot suite and watch Billy Billy. Non-level of intimacy. It's very, very different.

I mean, you're talking about 2000 people compared to 300 people. That's a huge difference. It's huge. And that's not even the biggest cruise out there.

I mean, there's cruises with way more people than that. Yeah, I don't want any part of it. I really don't. It's too much because you're, you're just, it's just very hard to find a rhythm, especially if you see a couple that you're interested in.

You may not see them for a few days. And that's no lie, whereas At a hotel or at a resort, probably going to see them the next day at some point, unless they stay in their room. That's why I've become even more of a fan of our events in the space, that intimate space that we created, shameless plug, sorry, fewer people and you get to hang out during the day and you actually get to meet people. I think it's, it becomes rewarding at the very least, even if you don't fuck, you do wind up coming home with relationships.

I promise you that. At our events, you meet a bunch of people and you're like, oh my God, I'm gonna be friends with you guys forever. Even though it is sold out, overflow is open, so there's still time to come join us in February. It's a lot of fun over there, no matter where you stay, come and check us out.

It was a great time, great stay. It definitely was not a bad time and the crowd was good looking. It's just I think for us, we're not cruise people. And that's, you know, if you are cruise people, it's a great time.

Cruise in the spa a little bit. I did very successful, not in a gay way because we didn't touch one another. Just a little a little mutual masturbation, which is a group masturbation session that steam room full of men jerking off, you know, it happens in every spa, every spa when you, this is what you ladies don't know. Every time we go to the steam room, it's just a group of guys jerking off.

That's how it is. I love it. Yeah, that's what happens every time. So that's it.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go leave a positive review. For more information, go to room 77life.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast.

Now get your clothes and get out.