Ep. 1: Welcome To The Jungle

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. Views, thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Fed up with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now we do what we love, work, party, and play at the Desire resort. After 15 years in the lifestyle together, we thought we saw it all, but we were so wrong, so wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day.

So come to room 77. Let's play. My heart's pounding. Well, that means you're not dead.

And we've started. This is it. We've started the podcast. I am R.

I'm, and those are letters. By the way, if you're looking for a podcast with great editing and wonderful sound, this is not the podcast for you. We have been together for 15 years and we've been in the lifestyle for 15 years. We've been here for a year and we've had the opportunity to come to teach the sex workshops or sensual workshops at the Desire Resorts.

Now if you're. familiar with the Desire Resorts. Desire Resorts is Desire RM or Desire Riviera my end Desire Pearl. And both of these hotels are clothing optional, lifestyle friendly, uh, couples only resorts, high-end.

Uh, pretty expensive resorts that cater to lifestyle crowds, nudists, etc. So we teach a workshop at the same workshop at both resorts, and it's 2 days at Pearl, 2 days at RM. And we get to meet a lot of great couples this way. We meet a lot of naked horny couples this way, a lot.

And now we, after a year, we have a house and a car and a life and bills. And so over the past year, we, we've met a lot of people, a lot of horny naked people. And we also got to meet these podcasters that came through. A bunch of them came through in the same week last year, 2017.

They were. And if you're listening to this one, you, you. You might know of them. It's um, we got a thing, we got a thing, the Joneses, C and D swinging Down under, and then TNA and Swinger Diaries.

They're all great people. Yeah, so we all and, and, and we never really thought about doing a podcast. But the one thing that people did tell us we should write a book because we see so much shit every week that they're like, you should write a book, you should write a book. But the problem is, is ambition is not our strong suit.

So. The one thing we did notice was a lot of people who were listening to these, these, these guys' podcasts were saying that they came to the resort because they heard them talking about it. And then that was really what sort of tipped us over the edge, you know, we should do this because before, we had talked about it. So why don't you guys do a podcast?

We didn't really feel like we had anything that was special to add because there's So much like the guys that are out there doing it now, they do such a great job about talking about the swinging lifestyle, how to do it, how to get into it, what it's about, all that stuff. And we just have a bunch of crazy stories. Yeah, they just talked about, they talk about everything and they have like 9000 episodes. So like we're like, what are we going to do?

I mean, you know, we can't teach everybody or talk about what everybody already knows from them and So we thought maybe people would be interested in these, these crazy things that happen at the hotel. We love desire. We want people to experience what we think our paradise is and, and sometimes people think it's just a giant crazy Roman orgy. And although.

We do have a bunch of crazy ass stories. Sometimes it's the sweetness in the stories too. Like we just meet some really amazing people and I think that those stories are just as important as the crazy ones. Yeah, and the frustrations and, you know, anywhere you go, people are people and Sexy is sexy, but sometimes it's just work.

And sometimes it turns into a party. And sometimes you black out with a next to a woman that you've never met before. I'm just saying random things, not that any of those things actually happen. But um, well, anyway, what we hope to do is we want to share some stories, we want to share some, some random things.

That happened to us, random insights into our lives and what we do on a week to week basis. Yeah, we're just hoping that you're interested in that. And if we make you smile, that's, that's fantastic. If you learn something, that's great too.

So just reach out to us and tell us what to say. No, literally tell us what to say because we have no fucking clue what we're doing. Yeah. So that was us and we hope you have fun.

Hope you have fun. So enjoy. She sets the bar. How long have you been here, Didi?

1 year and a half years, and she shows everybody how to fucking do it. What is the one thing that you would say stands out about the people that come here at Desire? Just simply. They're just all incredible, super friendly and awesome, and you love working here.

I love, I literally work like with my heart for all the people. OK, so if you had to talk to somebody and tell them. Uh, somebody who's never been to this concept but they sort of secretly wanna come, why would you, what would you say to people who wanna try it out but are a little bit scared? Give it a shot.

You won't regret it. This is the best place on earth, the happiest, where you can find all the most awesome, amazing, incredibly friendly people. So yeah, give it a shot. You're gonna.

Love it. You can't lose, right? Of course. What's to lose?

Your pants, of course, bikini, the tan lines, that's virginity. If you're, if you're a virgin, don't worry, we got you covered. We got you covered. You could lose your dignity, of course, that's the point, right?

That's the best part. All right, we're started. It gets me every time. Yeah, aside from this bird that's outside that won't shut up.

I know it's 5 o'clock though. This is why we need, what does that mean? They're always out at this time. You think that birds come out at 5 o'clock, or is this something, I don't know.

Yeah, they do at 5 o'clock. Well, I don't know if it's at 5 o'clock. Like, whoop, we're starting at 5. I open my eye.

Can you take a sip of the coffee that you're holding next to your face? Oh, it's so tasty. So I woke up a few minutes before my alarm went off. Yeah, your brain does that sometimes, and it was just before the sun came up and the bird was out in the tree.

I could see him. Now I have to let everybody know that we live in a jungle. Yeah, I mean, we literally live in a jungle there. Monkeys outside of our house.

Even today, there was monkeys outside with a new baby. One had a new baby. Yeah, they came and swinging on the trees behind our house. Our house backs up to a jungle.

OK, so I open my eyes and I look out the window and there's the bird in the tree that always wakes me up, quiet, just sitting there being a bird in the tree. And wouldn't you know, the sun broke the horizon and he started his little song and I'm like, Oh my God, they I mean, he literally sings when the sun comes up. Well, that was a lovely story. It had to do with time and birds.

I'll add a bunch of birds in the background. Oh, insert bird chirping. It'll all blend in. Let's talk about the workshops this week.

So during the workshop that we do, we go around and we massage up against people, a lot of people. We are massaging and rubbing, and we are all naked, and it's very sexy and very seductive, and I know it turns you on. I love it. 20 minutes of.

Just slow sensual touching with complete strangers. I don't care. I love it. I know.

So it's a, I know that you are just, you are sopping wet. I do get sopping wet. I know. So I mean, it's not as easy for me, but it does happen like in in RM's class when we did RM's class, like when we go around to the classes, sometimes the, the couples can be so sexual.

Like I'm getting a little hard thinking of it now. I get so turned on and then I have to stand up and walk with a fucking raging heart on. Awesome. It's my favorite part.

Um, like I'm I'm always afraid like the person that's next is going to see me get up with this huge raging heart on and they probably do. They peek a lot. Oh, they do pee a lot. They do.

I know they do because I wear a cock ring during the class, which a lot of people are starting to inquire about this cock, which a lot of guys have been saying. So what's that thing around your cock? It's a cock ring. I don't know if anybody knows about cock rings, but cock rings are for guys.

They wrap around your dick and your balls. They help sort of maintain. And keep an erection longer. It's not like anything magic.

It's just keep blood in there, right? But um I am slowly turning one guy at a time every week because I'm, I always say, here, try it on. Yeah, and they do, and they like it and they like it. They're like, I kind of like this.

Like you should get one. They have like a, I don't know, like a weird stereotype as in like, I just think people don't know what they are. Oh really? Yeah.

Oh, OK. I, I mean, it's not like. It's jewelry. It's not a jewelry one.

It's just a black rubber circle, or, well, they make them out of stainless steel too. Yeah, but that's not what you wear. You just wear a plain old black rubber one and you put it on and it's like, yeah, it just makes sometimes it just it just makes it a little easier to maintain. It makes it a little more sensitive.

It makes it, but anyway, um, so I hopefully within a year, everyone will be wearing a cocker. That's my goal. So during RM's class, I swear that there are some points where I could just slip my cock inside of a woman and she would be OK with it. Like, they get so turned on and so I love it.

Obviously, I would never do it, but I'm like they are so ready to go. And some of these are not even swingers and I'm putting, I'm making quotes, but they're not in the lifestyle, right? Exactly. They're, you know, either first time to the hotel or first time to a concert.

concept like this. They're just here because they want to be around the sexually charged energy. They're they're looking. Last week when I forgot to point out the couple because I don't think you knew what happened, last week when we were there, it was, I remember what they looked like.

I was, I was rubbing up against her and she took my hand and Took my fingers and shoved them up inside of her. Oh my God, yeah, which was like, oh. OK. And I was probably head down into massaging the, the man on Lingham Day because I get really into it for the men.

Yeah, I can't ever really tell how much the guys are enjoying. I imagine they're enjoying it. I guess they are. I can hear them.

That's why I get in some, what do they do? They moan like how, or they'll reach their hands. If they have their hands up, then they'll reach it around or they'll just. It gently touched my foot or something to give me that, hey, it's OK.

I'm enjoying it, but they'll just they'll moan, they'll be like. And we tell them we want you to get into it. We want, we want to know if we, we're gonna read your body language. Well, sometimes I leave that out because I forget.

I did that, I did that workshop, uh, which wasn't, oh, it was full. It got full. That's right. It got pretty full, but because I was a little tipsy, I was so horny that I was going around.

I could not be hard. I was walking from bed to bed with a heart on. Like it was pointing the way to the next bed and um there was one woman in the middle. She was older.

Oh, you know how you'll know who I'm talking about. The guy had, I think, the largest cock I've ever seen in my life. Do you know who I'm talking about? Which hotel is this?

At Desire Pearl. You, there's no way you missed this cock. If you missed this cock, I'm going to divorce you. Oh God.

Oh Lord, in the middle, middle bed, 1234 couples over or 3. I don't know who was in the first bed. It's not the problem that I don't remember the cock. It's that I don't even remember the placement of couples in the workshop from this week.

I can't even tell you how full the class was. I mean, Friday's was full. I'm trying to describe where it was. You want me to describe her?

I can't describe her. No, it doesn't matter. I mean, I guess I could. I mean, she was on the older side.

Her teeth weren't the best. I mean, there was, was it big because it was fat or big? It was both. It was, it was and there was a joke when I made when we, when we go up to the the restaurant bar that we go up to here, uh, I always pick up this giant cucumber and I'm like, what if my cock is this big?

That's what it looked like. That's how, that's why I can't believe you missed it. Oh my God. Oh Lord, I mean, I'm sure I did, but I in my brain, I didn't lock it.

Send me the papers, I guess. I divorce, divorce. Creme brulee. So anyway, I just, I wanted to bring that up, that some, not every, it doesn't happen in every workshop.

But how do we go from you having a raging heart on to the guy in the bed with the giant cock? Oh, because the wife was one of those people where I, I'm pretty sure I could have just slipped it in. Oh, right, I mean she. She was losing her shit.

I know who you're talking about. You do now, yes, and you don't remember his penis. I mean, I know that he was hard because I was brushing it. You know that he was hard because it was the size of my forearm because it was, I was up on his neck and he was hitting me in the face.

Yeah, so she was like she kept going, oh God, she did, and she stopped. She would stop massaging him, which is her job. Her only job is to sit there and massage him. And she, uh, she's 11 of, of, of a couple of people who starts to reach behind to grab you, to grab me, yeah, so that happens a lot actually.

So especially I'm to grab me. Well, they stop on Lingham Day. The women massage their husbands. We walk around.

I add my touch to the husband, and you ask the woman, May I touch you? And you'll either guide her hands. Or you know, depending on what's happening, just, just massage behind her, but I'm behind her, yeah, like behind her and depending on what positions they're in, sometimes it's very close to doing her doggy style. Yes, what I was going to say was there's sometimes I would say even 15% of the time they stop massaging and they just want, they're like, oh, it's on, you're just going to do me.

And you can tag in and it's like we wrestling tag team, they tap me in. I massage their husbands and they just relax and get horny with you. I thought we were specifically talking about them reaching around to grab me. No, I'm talking about how they stop.

Oh, I thought you were going to tell me that all the women try to reach around and grab me, which would have made me really happy. Well, I can't always see what their hands are doing except when I can see that they're not in front of them. And they're not on their partner, but I do see them a lot just drop them down beside their legs, and I don't know if they're touching you, if they're touching what they're touching, but I do notice when they stop touching their husband because I'm like, oh, it's supposed to be a fore-handed massage for him to experience that multiple confusing hand touching, body touching. So then I have to contort myself and add a.

Extra body parts. I do a hip. I'll run a leg somewhere, right? Well, I'm trying to put her hands back on his body.

Come on, lady. Come on, lady. Let's, yeah, no, you're, you're so good. I love that you turn them on so much, not all of them, but there were a few others in the class.

The woman that was directly, uh, to our right, her, she was, she was wild. I think I could have stuck it in her. Mhm. The one next to them, they were new.

She, they both walked out of class and we're like, we have never, that was something so out of our comfort zone. And I'm like, it was because you guys seem like pros. You sure fooled me. Yeah, they, they, uh, some of them really come out of the show.

I think it's a really great experience. I think it's awesome. It makes me so happy. It's a really great experience.

Yeah, it is. It's, it's fun to watch it unfold, to watch sort of sometimes the fear in their faces before the workshop and then them walking out of there is close, closest to a coma as a human being can get a walking coma. I call them my happy little zombies, happy little zombies. So my last question then to you after talking about this for so long is, are you ever massaging and you're like, oh, they turned me on right now.

I was just going to sit on his cock. What I like to do instead is I like to. I'll like sit on either their wrist, like somewhere like on their arm or their um leg, like on their shin bone. Oh, and you ride your click.

Yes, and I straddle it. No, I don't necessarily ride it, but I straddle it and I smoosh it down so that they can feel that I'm wet. Do you think that men or even women can sense moisture? Their shin.

I am, I did. I thought that was my thought. Maybe it's true. I'll try it next time.

I don't know if, if I can tell moisture from your shin, my knee. I don't know, but they, I don't know, maybe they can't. An arm, maybe, yeah, maybe, yeah. You should just sit on their fingers.

I thought about sitting on someone's nose before. Well, see, that's a thought, but you've never, but you don't look at them and go, I'm just going to sit down right on their cock right now. No, I don't. Sad.

It to me, it's still, it's still like it's about what the penis is attached to. I can't just like go rogue on that, but that's, and you're hard to match up to. Well, that's not only sweet, but also a lie. Um, I just, the, the thought, it was more about the thought process.

It's like it, it's like you're, it's more about what it's attached to. Which is true, you know, it's, it's, it's not like I can just walk up to any human being and say, I'm going to stick it in you, right, right. I do it in a more artsy fashion, artsy, artsy, like because of the lights and everything in the class. I mean, mind you, I do probably have the class with my eyes closed.

I'm not kidding, which is why. I like that you tap me on the head when it's time to get up. If you're, if you're getting up, and that way I won't be left on somebody, um, because we like to move around the room together. But half the time I don't see you or whatever because my eyes are closed.

But I like to look around and the more that I see people letting go of those inhibitions and just sort of. Getting into it, the, what they look like morphs for me into a more beautiful person. It's really interesting to see people that if you said, I saw you on the street, you're completely clothed, you were at Starbucks, you would look at them and you would judge them as, you know, whatever. And then you get them naked in this class, under these lights and in this mentally free space to just be sexually charged with your partner that people become way sexier.

No, it's true. It's there's something to say about energy, right? So if you, if you had started off the workshop, you, you look at who's in there and you look around and you, you know, you're, you're a human being, so you make quick assessments and quick judgment. Based on age, age, uh, what you see them talking or not talking, how they socialize, what they said to you when they walked through the door, what they look like physically, and you, you make very quick judgments.

Although I'll, I'll, I'll say that I know I'm smarter to know I'm probably wrong. I don't. I don't, I don't lock that assessment in. It's just, it just happens naturally.

Yeah, it's what our brains do. We, we size up to see where we are in the pack. But, but if you told me to point out the couples that are going to be mild and wild, that's a good definition, but it's fun. It's a fun thing to see these people.

Morph and you're like, oh my God, you seem so calm. and 30 minutes later you're wild and sexy and so into your partner and it's just, it's very sexy. And I get into that. I get into being involved in that.

I have to eat something and finish this coffee and then take a nap. That does not even make sense. All right, so I'm here with two sexy motherfuckers who took the class and um we, I don't wanna say we, we, we, we had something. I felt it.

Did you feel it? I thought so. What did you feel like when you were in there and there was all of these bodies on top of you, oily and naked? How did it feel to you on your end with your blindfold on?

It felt amazing. It felt like probably 100 hands on me at once. So you guys are really good because you made that you pulled that off. And also when you left, I wanted you to come back.

We wanted to come back. We really did. I felt that as well. We did want to come back.

We, we wanted to have an experience where she was just pure focus, everybody's hands on her, pulling on her. So we actually had the pleasure, thanks to you, of making a center of focus, even though I would like it off the cuff a little bit more, but she wants a private session tonight. Let's get started. I just broke your headphones.

They were already broken. I couldn't tell by all the tape. The sad part is, is I just replaced the ear pads, but I'm going to blame it on the humidity. I don't think it has anything to do with the humidity, but can you tell from that angle that I'm playing with my penis under the table?

Yes, you can. Yeah, I know you because I always play with my penis. Well, if your arm is doing something, the right arm. Doing something, the shoulder's a little low.

It's a dead giveaway. All right, let's just be honest. I am always playing with my cock. Yes, yes.

Correct. Correct. Right. All right.

I don't think it's that abnormal. However, I never see anyone else playing with their cock. But there's a, there's a difference that you do. Take playing with your cock to like a whole another um like nervous tic.

Yes, that is exactly what it is. It's it's, it's a nervous tic. Last night you were standing in front of the bed telling me something and it was completely unrelated to sex. Completely.

I know exactly what you're talking about. And in my pants in my pocket, I was playing with my dick. You didn't have pants on, which was even funnier because you're standing there butt ass naked, playing with your cock talking about something that was, I don't even remember what it was. It was, I do.

I, I said this is what we're going to talk to the GM about tomorrow. OK, well, yeah, who would tug on the dick while you're saying that. If I keep pulling on it, it appears bigger at sometimes, but I think that other times you just touch it because it's something to pull on. Well, that's what it became, as if it was rubbing the palm of your hand with your thumb or something.

Well, that's what it became. What if that was your poker tail? He's got a full house. Why?

Because his hand is full of cock. Oh, yeah, but so it's become a, uh, it's become a nervous tic, but it was started because I always wanted it to look bigger, so which is false advertising, by the way. I think that you have a distorted, you have penis dysmorphia. So yeah, I mean, being around uh naked.

People all day at desire doesn't help with any insecurity that you may have that you feel like is being reaffirmed all the time. You are a better person than I, so let's just talk about boobs, right? You are around big, fake, sometimes real, sometimes real. You're around big boobs a lot, a lot of, a lot, way more than C cups, yeah, yeah, and your boobs are not, your boobs are not big.

No, they're not at all. You can barely see them from the side. That's what I saw in that, and we just did some photos for to try and express what we do in the workshop, and I could barely see them from the side, right in that photo. In that photo, you could barely see them from the side.

However, I think what you focus on as far as your little boobies, first of all, perfect nipples, beautiful, wonderful, beautiful, perfect areolas. Areolas to me sometimes sounds like a cookie. Oh my God, I love to dip them in milk. Oh, I have a pack of areolas.

For some reason you are, you're OK being around these big boobs, and it doesn't, it doesn't affect your, uh, confidence at all. I mean, granted, the rest of you ass, legs, face, hair, perfect, right? Perfect. So that's what you lean on.

I am a fully flawed human being. I have so many flaws balding head, face that. It looks like I was a burn victim, but not really. Stop it.

Come on, a little bit. No. I want to interject something because I don't want you to keep beating yourself up. I think women have one thing that men don't get.

Women have, I'm either a boob man or an ass man. So I don't have tits as my only thing. Like that's, well, everyone's judging me by the size of my tits. And I think that men think that we all walk around and judge them by the size of their penises.

They do. We don't. They secretly do. You do.

Men judge themselves by the size of their penises, not women. So do you want to talk about what happened today in the spa? Yeah, probably because she birthed a few children. Our listeners out there don't even know what you're talking about.

You're going to tell them. Maybe, maybe I'll keep it as a mystery. All right, so we get into this discussion, uh, yesterday about penises. Pena, is that the plural of penises?

It's a gaggle of a pen. So we get into this discussion. I even had a talk about it online with my friend. What you just said is we don't, we don't judge.

So cut to today in the spa getting ready for the workshop and there's a man and a woman. They're both in, in, in, in, in good shape and come to find out he's a doctor and he's into sort of rejuvenation stuff without getting like high tech rejuvenation. So he's talking about rejuvenation and there is. This thing where, um, there's O shot and a P shot and an O shot is, I, I, and I'm, I know I'm gonna be wrong here, but it's like platelet enriched blood or stem cells and injecting it into the, the woman or injecting it into the penis and the penis is supposed to grow.

And I had just read this article about this dude that in Florida or something who's injecting these stem cells in his dick. Anyway, I'm not saying that that's what this guy was talking about. That's what he was talking about. Anyway, he did leave us, he did leave us a small flyer.

Yeah, so he was talking about, uh, injecting like platelet enriched, and I, I really don't know anything about it, so I'm going to sound ridiculous talking about it. And I said to him, does it work? Did, did you notice a difference? So he says, ask her, and I turned to her and she says, I love big cocks.

I said I could feel it in his hand. It's so much bigger. I can't even. Blow them anymore.

So you're saying she's the exception? Well, I think her preference may be she likes to feel that, but I don't know. I mean, I, I don't think that we walk around looking at people's penis size. I also know that the vagina adjusts to whatever.

I'm saying maybe she's really stretched out. You can't. Oh Jesus Christ, we should put that on. He's a dirty whore.

Well, fine, I want a penis like a horse, and you'd say, I don't want you to have a penis like a horse. And then I'd be like, but you said that it would adapt, and you'd be like, yeah, it would adapt, but I don't want to have to adapt to that. Um, my jaw doesn't adapt. I know that.

All right, as I, as it was coming out of my mouth, I realized all of that was total shit. The other day we were in the jacuzzi. Um, I may or may not have been inebriated. And Someone said, you have a nice cock.

Now I know I'm going against exactly what I'm trying to defend. It's what I say all the time, right? So she says, you have a really nice cock, and I say, because I'm drunk, Well then why don't you suck it? Oh my God.

So she did, right, right. But then you wind up, you're like, oh. Now this lady is sucking my cock and everybody's watching. This did not go as planned because I'm standing up.

I saw, I know. Oh, you did see that moment. You witnessed that. I did.

I was, I was standing right behind you. God bless you. Thank God you're not a jealous person because if you tell the real world, so I turned around and some woman's sucking my husband's cock. Yeah, it sounds a little weird, but we, we have, we have 15 years in the lifestyle and we never separate.

We never do anything like that. So I try to separate from you. It's just that they, it's just if you could just sign these papers I'm pushing across. I always try to separate, but they won't let me because it's you that they want.

So I'm trying to get away from you to get them, but they're trying to get to me to get to you. So the formula never works out anyway, so this lady stuck in my cock, right? It was like 2 seconds. It's weird when it was happening.

My, my, my brain went, I have to tell my wife that this is happening, uh, because her back is to me. And then when you finally turned, you were like, I don't know. Even change the subject of the conversation you were having. Well, I mean, yeah, it wasn't, um, I didn't even really care to even know the backstory because it was just one of those women that it seemed like she sort of jumped on you.

So I was like, oh, poor thing. That's, that was my thought. That's about as much as I went. I see that's the difference between a man mind and a woman mind.

Anytime a woman comes up and starts sucking your cock voluntarily, our thought is not, oh, you poor thing, it's there's a God. Oh, OK, so did we, did we sum up the story though? Was that my, my answer is she said you have a really nice cock, and then you said she's a worn out dirty whore with a big vagina. No, the woman in the jacuzzi.

So the point is, she said, you have a nice cock. That is one who probably represents. Presents more than half the resort woman who looked at me and said, Hey, that guy has a nice cock. Now, most women have that filter that probably steps in and goes, Don't say that out loud.

But she did, she did say it out loud. Yeah, women don't say that to men. That's why I always feel bad for you think it, OK. To me, I think oversize, winning oversize, trumping oversize is aesthetics, aesthetically pleasing pen.

All right, do we get into assholes or do we save that for another episode? I don't know, but I want to get mine bleached. That's another episode, OK. By the way, the, the, the, the, the guy that we were talking to in the spa, the woman that likes giant penises, who apparently my wife thinks is a washed up whore with a giant that's what you said, your words, not mine.

Yeah. How many guys do you see pulling on their penis? Only you. How many do you see?

Only you. Now, hold on, I'm not watching a lot of guys' Peters though, but you, you're, you're an attractive man, so I do watch you. OK, we started. Recap.

I'm not gonna do anything. You have to handle this episode because it's very me heavy and every, every time I listen back and edit because I talk too much. So I'm just gonna nod. But I think you're a better storyteller than I.

Even in real life, I always, I always delegate, uh, honey, tell it, it's funnier when you tell it. Doesn't matter. People need to hear your opinion. I don't know right now, and you don't ever have to deal with this.

My legs are squishing my testicles. I am so glad I don't have testicles. How many times do you either sit on them? Do they get in the way?

Well, my testicles are not huge. Now I can tell you from working at these resorts that testicles come in all different sizes and shapes, and some. They're just different. That's what I was going to say.

So I don't ever, I don't ever sit on mine. Mine are not, uh, sitable. They don't hang there. No, that's a, that's a scrotum part.

I don't know. I'm not a doctor. Back to my question, you don't, you'd never sit on them. Me, yeah, purposely.

Well, no, like I don't know. I don't know what it's like. I don't know. They just sort of squish around in there.

I get, but every once in a while, it's like your legs put them in a in a headlock. Uh, the last time we were out together was Thursday night. We were at RM and we were surrounded by a gaggle of twenty-somethings. Oh my God, crazy.

They got me into crazy party mode. They got you in the crazy party mode. Um, I was. Exhausted.

I know. Oh God, 8 of them. I'm relatively. Um, new to the to the lifestyle, I would say.

Yeah, not, well, yeah, not surprising. Some of them were getting married, some of them just got married. Some of them were not the husband and wife. They're just boyfriend, girlfriend.

So they wanted us to stay. Yeah, we being very professional and knowing that we have to get up in the morning, we said, absolutely we'll stay and party. I just don't have any clothes to wear. Yeah, so we went back with the, the young ones.

I had a lot of fun. They were very, they just were very comfortable in who they were. They kind of had that old soul thing going. So you were dancing the night away.

It was a great show. It was neon night and there were, I don't know, again, the place always makes me feel like I. Did ecstasy or mushrooms or LSD or something so awesome. Yeah, it was pretty cool.

And uh I really want some of those glow hula hoops, by the way. I, I don't know what how to hula hoop, but they were awesome. Yeah, let's focus on, well, I was just gonna say other stuff we have going on in our lives and not maybe learning how to hula hoop, right. You know what I mean, I know.

So as the night went on, the gaggle of youngins got closer and closer together, and inevitably this was going to turn into an orgy, right? Really attractive bunch to have an orgy with. Yeah. Yeah, but I wasn't having it.

I know you were having it. You were all about the orgy. Well, it's not necessarily true. I know that you think I was all about the orgy, but I was really all about the partying.

I was drunk. I was going to say drinking. You were so drunk. I was drank.

I just wanted to not go home. That's what happens to me. And then it happened. She, she had asked me, how do we get, how do we get them all back to the room?

Uh, I coached her a little bit and uh. And then it happened and then we got to the room and everybody saw me and you getting naked. Uh, well, they saw me getting naked, but I was just putting on my clothes to go home, right? You were giving back clothes you borrowed, right?

And they thought you were like, wow, it's he doesn't waste any time. Yeah, I don't waste any time because I need to go home. And they, and we, we tiptoed out in the middle of, I guess that was probably what happened afterwards was probably amazing. By the way, smallest room.

Ever in the history of, of, of rooms, it was like 2 ft bigger than the bed, I guess kind of conducive for, for let's just get on the bed. There's nowhere else to go. Nowhere, yeah, I mean, from the looks of it, it looked like they were all going to have a fantastic time when we tiptoed out. I'm sure it all went well.

So being around all of the. Those younger people, did you ever feel different? I always feel different. I'm not talking about your mental issues.

Oh, did I ever feel different from them? Yeah, I'm too old for them. They're too young for me. They were born in the 80s.

0 no, 90s. 1 of them was born in '91. 0 shit. I I can't even do the math on that.

What is that, like 18? Someone was 26. Well, this is what I do because I don't really ask people their ages, right? Or if they tell me, I don't really retain a lot of information.

I tend to make people within 5 to 10 years of my own age. I do it with older people. I do it with younger people. I know I felt weird a couple of times talking to them, not weird, but I don't know because in one sentence she would say one thing and then she would say something about a creepy older guy and in my head I'm like, I am a creepy older guy.

I am that guy. I am the creepy older guy, but she's not talking about me. She's talking about somebody else in her head who's probably the same age as me. No, yes, because see, then I interpret that.

I'm like, well, that one's at least 10 to 15 years older than you, but that would be our creepy older guy. All right. What about the girl? I think it was 2 days before that.

I mean, she looked, she was 20 something, barely, barely 20. Yeah, she was like 24 or something, maybe. Yeah. Did, would you have felt uncomfortable with her?

Oh, hell yeah, I could barely talk to her. Yeah, because the the mentality sort of changes. But, but here's the thing, what, what, what saves a group like that is really smart bunch. Yeah, they were.

All of them were very, very smart, very high level positions. All of them. Yeah, I have to say that there is, there is something comforting in being with your own age group. I liked the fresh, I mean, I liked their energy level.

One, you'll get couples that young here and there, but you don't get a group of them that didn't come together because we wouldn't have been welcomed in the group if they didn't. If they came together, we would have been creepy old people. Well, I don't know. I probably would have welcomed me in.

Oh, I'm. You are, yeah, you're funny as hell and great looking and I like that they were kind of journeying down their likes and dislikes, very open to communicate what they were about. They weren't afraid to speak their minds and I think maybe that's what you're sort of alluding to a little bit with they hadn't been knocked down with people judging them if they said something they, they didn't know was, oh well. I'm going to get judged for that, or they were just free to really embrace what life was.

And I think that's why I kind of got carried away. Like I kind of felt I just kind of went back in time and was just, oh no, you totally went back in time. I mean, there's not a, I mean, the difference between you and I is you are dancing with them and you are 25 again. It doesn't even enter your mind.

I mean, you are right there with them, dancing with them, and there is That thought doesn't even enter your head that what that I'm older than they are. No, it doesn't. Oh, I know it doesn't. I could watch.

I watch you. I enjoyed that about them, but I was not game for the orgy with that because I don't like new. There's a certain level of whether it's being with your age group, where you've had the life experiences or being with the lifestyle experience equivalent that you have. That knowledge.

It either has to be one or the other. You either have to have the life experience or you have to have the lifestyle experience underneath it for it to be like game. However, that one couple were, they were very old souls, and they were just, they were just so confident in who they were and who they were together that it didn't really matter. I don't even know how long they've been in the lifestyle, but it didn't matter because they like just under 7 minutes, probably they just landed and went through customs.

Um, yeah, but it was fun. It was, it was great. I, I would have liked to have seen them again. Uh, I'm probably never going to see them again.

That's it. Here's to being 25 again and dancing like a fiend. Here's to, uh, it's 9:30 and I just yawned. How's that for, uh, you've been up for 36 hours partying your balls off.

Yeah, not just coming down. Here's to, here's to youth and the new generation of lifestylers. I think they're all sexy and, and more confident and hopefully way more open minded than I think they are. I think sexually, yeah, I think sexually they're, they're even more open minded.

I can, I can already see that there's a, there's just little things that you hear and things that you don't hear. Uh, that slowly start to disappear with, with a different generation. I love it. I welcome it.

I'm excited. I hope they don't think that we're old. Oh, they do. All right, I'm out.

Do you have an attraction to younger men or younger people just because they're younger? So if they were young and stupid, it would be over. Younger chick, dumb as a bag of hammers. Love it.

Even better, even better. Big tits and ass. Sign me up. Attracted to intelligence and no, like if you see a hot girl and she's intelligent and witty on top of it, does that make you more attractive?

Uh, sure. Now what if that woman is 25 years older than you? Uh, is she still beautiful? She's still beautiful, but for a 75-year-old, well, I break her hip at night.

I put her in a wheelchair. She's already in a wheelchair, even better. I don't mean to change the subject, but I feel like the fumes at the gas station gave me a headache. Oh, it just me every time.

That's why I tell you to roll up the window. I mean, we talked about this, yeah, fumes in Mexico. Like there's no, I mean, that guy's gonna have cancer for sure. Well, I don't know if that's true.

I mean something. It's the you're inhaling these like what are they called, fumes. No, yeah, but there's a better name for it. I want to say carbohydrates, but that's not carcinogenics.

Thank you. So let's start with a new, a fresh slate. All right, fresh slate is, I'm a little drunk. Today's your birthday.

So today's my birthday. I'm a little drunk. So we're doing slur cast, slur class, slur class, circle. I can't say it.

It's hard to do when you're inebriated. Oh well, you shouldn't have drank so much, but it was your birthday. I didn't, I didn't drink all day. I had my first drink at.

Uh, after the workshop, so this week we did all the workshops over at RM and at Pearl, and today we had to do the opposite. So we did the Yoni today, met a bunch of great couples again, once again. Yeah, Pearl Pearl had some really great people. We did meet some couples who were very grounded, had really strong relationships, which is always refreshing.

I find they bore me. We did have the, we had one client and today in the class who we were laughing with her afterwards about her raising her hands and her oh yeah, right, like so she would start to have an orgasm and she would raise her hands like she was praising Jesus and we started laughing and she's just said, oh yeah, I, I'm a wild one and her husband was saying the same thing. Oh, she does it all the time. She has to just go with it and she has to raise her hands up and we said, Well, you're just like you're raising your hand to the Lord.

And she's like, I am. And then she would take her hand down and muffle herself so she didn't disturb the other people. It was really cute. I want to talk about that dude who I, do you know who Eric McCormick is?

Yes, that's who he reminds me of, right? Right. And bum bum. Wasn't he on that show?

No, not even close. No. What show was he on? Will and Grace, and now he's on Will and Grace again.

Oh he was Will. He was Will and Grace. OK, yeah. So you just agree with me.

You had no idea who I was talking about. I know, but I feel like there's another guy too that he reminds me of. Only one Eric McCormick. I could look him up.

No, I know, I know who he is. I know Will, but, um, really funny guy. I just had no idea who his wife was. He, they also didn't make it to, to the, to the workshop because they, there wasn't enough room.

But I think he might, he was trying to schedule a private. Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen. Yeah, I don't know. He was like, can we just close the deal already?

Let's just set a time. And I was like, well, you know, we, you got a foam party tomorrow. That's a big deal for you guys. He was laughing about the foam.

He was really excited to have a butler, so he was joking around with that, um. And then you decided to sing Happy Birthday to me with a bunch of naked strangers. That was amazing in the disco. That was the best part.

I actually wish that I had already downloaded the Happy Birthday song from Amazon. That would have been awesome. That would have been good planning. Then not a good planner.

I am not a good plan. I just, I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted nothing to do with singing me happy birthday. That's what was so great.

Yeah, great. And the slowest rendition of Happy Birthday ever in the world. Happy Happy birthday. Because everyone's waiting because no one was really leading the song and then you go, can we speed it up a little bit?

And we did it like a DJ cranking up the tempo to a normal speed, but it's weird when no one is leading the song. Everyone's but you were bragging. You were supposed to be the leader. I tried.

I'm not a strong singer. Do you know what we should talk about is the new hot entertainment girl. Oh, we could do that. Anna, Anna.

Beautiful. Longest legs ever. I think she's sweet. I don't know.

I haven't really paid attention to her talking because I'm just looking at her. She seems nice. I see her mouth moving, but I don't hear a word. She's nice.

I did the runway show with her on Monday. She's really sweet, very sweet. I met her before you actually. I met her while you were getting ready for.

The runway show. I was having dinner with her. No no, we did. We had dinner together.

Well, I was having dinner with Alfredo and oh, right, right, right. I do remember that and Jade Hade and Anna. She's a funky one. Yeah, she's she's small, but I don't know how you veered this away from Anna, my new girlfriend, but you did anyway, so we were fucking last night.

I think I don't know if I'd be, she's 5'8, which is tall for a Mexican. That sounded racist, but it's just true. I mean, they're, they're of shorter stature here, sure, especially in when they're from Chiapas. Wow, you're a tall Mexican, and they love that.

Or if they're pale, really pale, they kind of make fun of that of themselves that way too, like the new guy, he makes fun of himself for being so pale. Who Anwar? Well, he needs to just get out in the sun. Yeah, he is in the sun and he still isn't getting any darker.

Is he really Mexican though? Yeah, Anwar is not a Mexican name. I think he's lying to everyone. Oh, like he's part Cuban or something.

I think he, I think he was born in Afghanistan. No, I don't know where he was born. I don't know. I don't, but isn't Anwar an uh a Middle Eastern name?

Well, the Anwar we know is from Cuba. Yeah, but I think his name was like Pakistani or something. I could Google it. OK, Google, where is the name Anwar derived from?

I don't even know if it'll understand that. What is my phone doing? Here's what I found. The first result is from Wikipedia.

Oh my God. Uh, what is the Wikipedia thing? Oh, I have to read it. I thought it was going to talk to me.

Um, here's what I found. Annoir as English of two Arabic names. Arabic. See, wow, I am a smart ass motherfucker.

Yeah, you are. See how I just whipped that out? You did. I am Google, bitch.

Uh, yeah, so, so Anwar is not a Mexican name. I, it's not, it's, it's, it's an Arabic name. I mean, I'm just saying, and he's pale. He's pale.

Things are getting a little suspicious. Yeah, I don't know who this guy is. I think he's a mole. All right, so I guess we should just wrap up this and go to bed because it's 11:15 on a Friday night.

It's sad. I'm just tired. I'm one year older. One year older.

All in one day you turn 1 year older. When I was growing up, that's what I used to think. I used to think I aged an entire year in one day. I'm just throwing that out there.

You were raised incorrectly. And if you put anything on a podcast, you put this like this place will bring out the best side of you you've ever seen in your life. If you wanna feel sexy, if you want to feel welcomed like this is the absolute best place in the world. Hands down.

I will, I will come. We, we showed up yesterday and literally we were like, OK, let's give it a shot because he has his birthday coming up this summer and we were like, Should we go to Vegas or what should we do? And we're like, well, let's just go see what this is like and I mean, literally by the end, and it took one full day for me to say this because yesterday we got here like 4, but after today, I would, I would come back here hands down again and again and again. And that about does it for us.

For more information, photos, or to contact us, go to room 77 podcast.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.