Ep. 30: How To Celebrate Your Birthday at Desire Resorts

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Fed up with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now we We do what we love. Work, party, and play at the Desire resorts. After 16 years in the lifestyle, we thought we saw it all. We were so wrong.

So wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day. So come to room 77.

Let's play. All right, Lauren, here we are back again. What day is it? I don't know, Richard, but I am glad to be alive in this day.

I don't wanna hear a positive fucking attitude. This is what I wanna hear. I was almost killed by a scorpion, and you don't even care. Well, you, you killed it.

I did kill the scorpion. So if we retold the story, it would be, thank you for saving my life. Thank you honey for saving. You're welcome.

Oh, it's so good to have a little communication lesson right off the top. All right, so I am, however, a little upset tonight because at desire someone had brought me, they brought me 3 smart light bulbs which I really needed, yeah, just to finish off the lighthouse the way it needed to be. A smart lighthouse. As everyone knows that I am setting up a smart home.

So then I saw online that they were having a 2 for 1 sale on one of those Google hubs. What a deal. OK, OK, that came today, yeah, they came for my birthday. Got those someone to smuggle those in.

Also, somebody brought me another smart device also for my birthday extravaganza where I was showered with presents. Over the course of 48 hours we'll get to that later. We'll get to that in a second, yeah, so I plug it in now right before I'm about to record. I only have so much energy left in me.

I mean, we pushed dinner like 45 minutes so you can talk to Google. There's no time to eat, Lawrence. I'm hungry, but nothing ever really works. My smart home is getting dumber as I add more and more things, and it's driving me absolutely insane.

So I wanna talk about things that happened at Desire that make me smile. Oh good. So it makes me a little bit happier. Let's do that.

I am happy that some. They brought me smart light bulbs. That was very, very sweet of them. I rubbed them extra, extra well.

They also, I think, brought us Nicorette. Yeah, anytime someone goes out of their way for us, it's like it blows my mind. It's so sweet. Speaking of sweet and blowing you away, my birthday extravaganza were those things.

I mean, I had an amazing time. I think everybody else had an absolutely amazing time. I'm gonna start with things that I liked about my birthday. Number one, no birthday party.

I was very happy. No surprise. No silly streamers. I did.

I had a little streamer. You did, yeah, I remember I put it in the bathroom. That's not a streamer. There was a sign that said Happy birthday.

Well, it's streamy. People booked their trip. Specifically, they traveled halfway around the globe to celebrate me, essential celebrate you. I don't, I don't know if that's true.

It doesn't matter. I'm gonna pretend like I came. It's absolutely true. You're gonna say it like that.

Some people may have came for my birthday. I think a couple did. There were hundreds there gathered, maybe thousands. I don't know how many rooms are desire, to be honest.

It may have been thousands. It doesn't matter. Let's not focus on the numbers, OK? It was more than any presidential inauguration.

OK. Let's just keep it at that. Regardless, it gets very difficult, right, because there are people there that booked with us, and I wanna have a good time with my friends. Yeah, I wanna.

They're on vacation and it's like, oh, it'd be so nice to just hang out and take a vacation too, but we are, yeah, the other people gave us money. That's basically what I'm saying. We're also there to work, whatever. The other people gave us money.

That's an easy answer in my mind. Do I deal with the friends, or do I deal with the affiliates? Affiliate people, they're, they're easy to deal with because they don't know better or worse of us, right? Well, and also they're lucky because I'm always like, Hey, what do you need?

What are you doing? The friends? I'm like, Fuck off. I don't have time for you.

I don't have time or the energy, so go find something to do. Go entertain yourself. Good luck. Godspeed.

But no, I really enjoyed the affiliate program turned into something for us. We sort of backed into this really amazing thing, especially with people that come there for the first time, you know. We did it 100% for greed. That's so not true.

We did it to buy fast cars, Teslas, and you know hookers and blow, yeah, and build a moat around our rental property. That was our dream. That's my dream. It was a dream.

But no, but these people are coming in and that I just think that they're, we get to be sort of a mentor or something. Is that what you were gonna say? Yeah, I don't want to say mentor because I don't think you guys should mentor anyone, but they do have questions. They, I forget.

I really do forget how scary it is. Well, that's, I guess what I was sort of thinking about is like when we sat down, we had lunch. It's like we get to talk to people, but It's on a different level, I guess it's what I meant by mentor, but I hate that word too. I don't know what else you would call it, but I do like just being able to be like, listen, we're here, we're your friend.

We, you already know we're not going to judge you. So just like have a good time. What do you need to have a good time? Like, what do you know?

Yeah, what do you want to know? Let's get naked. Let's go. Let's all jerk off together.

Let's just do something. Let's get this started. And there was. That one couple that came in, they just couldn't stop thanking us because they wrote a sweet email.

No, I was talking about the couple even before that that was like she was freaking out. She got in the pool and we were like, Hey, nice to meet you. Thank you for booking through us. And she's like, I have never seen this many penises in one place in my entire life.

That's the worst accent ever. This is dead on. I went to acting school. This is the standard Southern.

Alright, you do it. You do it because she, she was from the South somewhere, so you say it. You say it. How should we say it?

I don't know. Uh, you could do it. Oh, come on. I have never seen more penises in my life.

That would be my best. No, yeah, I sound a little British. Where'd you go? You took a little trip to England, but we told her, as we tell everybody, look, this is how you feel right now.

6 hours from now it's gonna change. 6 hours, 6 hours, 6 hours. But in 24 hours you're gonna feel like a completely different person. And then, yeah, on RM we, uh, we ran into a couple who didn't book through us.

They just came up to us and said, Hey, we're new. Help us. They gave us this, this signal. Call 911, and they had.

Been in the lifestyle for I think 3 hours. They're like, Oh, we just got in the lifestyle when, like, I don't know, 3 hours ago. We just decided this is something we wanna do. They were like, so we're up in the air about the workshop.

I was like, Oh, if you guys are just dipping your toes into the, you have to go to the workshop. This is the best thing that you could do. And, uh, they just had an amazing time, and they wrote us an email. I don't wanna say we're changing the world.

I don't wanna say that. I would never say that. Yeah, I hate being like talking about us. There was that one moment we were in RM and the sky opened up and there was a rainbow around the sun and everybody was looking up and they were saying, Oh my God, what is that thing?

And there was a pilot and the pilot in the pool was like explaining the atmosphere. And how it worked and what that light was and how we were seeing it, right? It was a rainbow, right, but I still think it's because I am the Messiah. I do think it was a, um, a thought.

I mean, I am the desire messiah. I am the desire messiah. I wanna see if they can carry me in on a chair. And maybe like Yi can throw rose petals in my path.

They should take the little pond that drain it where that Buddha is, and it should be me, yes. It's just me, me. Take Buddha out when you come into the entrance. It's just me and I'm getting a fat belly, so they really may only have to, they may only have to change the face.

This is a great idea. I thought you were gonna sit in there like live theater, live art. It's a great idea. So we were on our way there and I had said to you, I was like, you know what, I don't really feel like playing with couples.

This weekend, that's crazy, right, because you're going to desire. That's like going to the movies and being like, hey, let's go to the movies and read a book. Yeah, I take a nap. Doesn't make any sense at all.

I was just like, I'm sort of not in the mood. I don't really wanna force it with anybody. I just wanna relax. I wanna have a good time.

And let me tell you something, it was really, really difficult to relax. No, for those women that wanted to have sex with me. Did you get like complaint cards? I mean, almost, I mean, on a serious note, there was a lot of demand.

There was, I don't wanna say demand. I mean, I think they get intimidated by someone who is so in control of their sexual prowess. You're like, not into it, you know. Well, it's not that I listen, lady, it's not that I'm not into it.

We're here to relax. Now there is one point where I was holding a conversation with one of the people who did a book through us, and I was holding a conversation with this person who was actually one of the people who brought me a. A smart device and a crap load of gum. Every flavor, every flavor, so many boxes.

Thank you so much. You know who you are. But I was talking to them and there was another friend of ours who was on the stripper pole stage. She was bouncing her ass.

Into my face kind of twerking. The left side of my face was inside of the crack of her ass, and I never stopped my conversation. I never broke eye contact while this person was essentially trying to smother me with her ass, and she looks at me and she's like, this is just a Monday night for you, huh? She did.

I, I was standing there. They were a lot of fun though, and there was this particular woman there that I really, really enjoy having sex with. Who is so hot. She looks like the girl who's on the mud flaps of the trucks.

Yes, oh my God, she totally does. Had to turn her down. I mean, probably gonna need some therapy. Why did you feel like you wanted to turn people down?

Is it just like, yeah, I told you I was, I had a super low libido. Like if I'm not in the mood to have sex with you, then I'm not in the mood to have sex with anybody. That's just how my body works, and I felt, you know, a lot of us in the lifestyle. Sometimes when we're in these situations, there is sometimes a sense of obligation, and it is a terrible feeling to have.

It's not well communicated most of the time. It did suck for me because I wanted to be in that headspace, but it doesn't, it just doesn't always, the cards don't always align. Obligatory sex is not fun. That situation isn't fun, yeah, and I think that that is just the honest truth.

Look, there are some people who understand. There's some people. People who don't understand, there's some people who take it differently, but it doesn't matter. It's my birthday.

All right, now other things that made me happy, this is my meditation moment of the week. Now, when we do the workshop, if you're not familiar with it, we do a little bit boring sort of speech in the front, and then we do meditation, and then after the meditation, everybody's in this sort of calm, cool, quiet state. We start to give instructions. We've almost done this 500 times.

This has never happened before and when it did happen, I was like. I can't believe this is the first time this has ever happened. When we give the meditation, we start giving out instructions to people what to do. So it sounds a little bit like this.

All right, now, while you stay in that calm state in that relaxed state, I want to remind the guys that there's absolutely no goals today. There's nothing that you have to do, OK? And then I go on for the ladies, same thing, there's no goals, there's nothing, there's no right or wrong. We're just taking that energy between the two of you and just celebrating that today, right?

But this day, this is what it sounded like while you stay in this calm state, in this relaxed state, I just wanna remind the guys the room was so silent, silent that there is absolutely nothing that you have to do. Someone farted. Kind of surprising. That was a first.

I, I really hope it was the last. And then there was a friend that was in the pool or somebody I really enjoyed talking to. I was talking to you and right before my eyes, a bird shat on his back. I was so priceless.

You looked over at me and you're like, I think that bird just shat on him. Yeah, so then I got the whole group. I was like, Is that bird shat on his back? And they're like, No, it's, that's suntan lotion.

I'm like, that's bird shat. To. So I crossed the pool and I tap him on the shoulder. I'm like, Hey, I think a bird just shat on your back.

And he jumped in the water and started flapping around and he's like, I thought I felt something. I thought maybe somebody was splashing me, but he thanked me for being such a good friend. Thank you. You were the only one that came over here and said, Hey, there's bird shit on your back.

You really did have his back. Thank you for saying that. So while I am saving lives from, uh, scorpions and bird poop, I just feel like we're. Sort of stretched now, a lot of people, I guess, think that we do a lot of nothing, which is so far from the truth, but it's not, it's great.

It's fun, but we are always doing something, right? But they want to live vicariously. Then, then they want to be like, woo, that's their life, so we gotta keep that alive. I understand it.

What I'm trying to do with my smart home and other things is find ways to save time. Yes, so this is what I was thinking. I bring, I bring 3 outfits to work, so do I, right? So I workout outfit, a pool, casual day outfit, and then a workshop outfit.

It's not that they're nice outfits. We live out of a backpack. The amount of time changing is insane right now. I was standing by the pool the other day.

I'm putting on my shirt, put my shorts on, put my sand. Handles on my hat, sunglasses. Sometimes the hat has to come off to take the shirt off. It's a lot, right?

Especially at a naked resort where you always have to go to default. Yeah, well, you're in the pool, you're out of the pool, you're everything. It's a lot. I was getting ready one day and there was a man sort of next to me, and he walked over.

He put on a sarong and walked away, and I thought, well, looky there, maybe Richard starts wearing sarongs. Follow me. Stay with me. You know those skirts that guys wear around the pool, the wraps, is that what they're called?

I guess that's what my, I call mine. I don't know why we have to have gender-specific wrap. I think I start wearing wraps. I think it saves me time.

I think I would look good. The only thing that scares me about starting to wear wraps is as soon as I put the wrap on, I feel like instantaneously I would have to accessorize. So it's not, I'm not a huge fan of the skirts. So maybe I do the man skirt thing, right, but I do it with like a Johnny Depp thing.

There is a certain quality that maybe I could bring to it, you know what I mean, like where it's cool and a little different. They're like, Oh, that dude's badass. I don't think so, baby. Why you don't think so?

I love you dearly. I do. You're not a man skirt sarong wrap guy. I think with a nice belt, maybe a small buckle.

Maybe some pumps. I think it would save time if I just accessorized a little bit. Mine's gonna be like a combination of a wrap and a kilt, I think. Maybe a snap, maybe a little button on the side, maybe a zipper.

Maybe it's just a kilt. It's sort of a, a skirt with pre-built-in accessories. It's got a leather strap, some buckles, maybe some tassels. I'm probably not gonna think about it, but what kind of purse would you carry?

Just, just if I wanna do it, just a shoulder bag. Well, that's good to know. Maybe some, some sassy sunglasses. All right, what room are you in?

77. All right, everyone knows you're lying. You just said something to my beautiful wife Lauren. What did you just say to her?

I said that she said something to me when we, when we met the first time, and it was the hottest thing that I've ever heard in the lifestyle. And can you tell us what that thing is? When she looked at me and said, I want you to come all over my face. Wow wow, I win.

Honey, why is this the first time that I'm hearing you say to another man with a penis of that size to come on my face? You know that I only allow men that are smaller than me to come on your face. That's the rule that limits, population control. We met you guys.

We met you at the other resort. It was Pearl, and the two of you were perched inside of the lobby, and you looked like frightened kittens. And we took you, I think this is on another podcast, and we took you, you two, let's go to the jacuzzi. We're bringing you in head first.

Do you remember that? I do. We didn't know that was our first lifestyle anything. Would you refer to me as the midwife of lifestyle couples just coaxed it out of us.

Would you spread that around? I've been telling everyone that you're just like a midwife. I'm letting them decide what that means. That's not the same as what I just said.

When you don't put context around it, it's completely different. Weird. It is weird. Who knew?

So now you had said something, I don't want to use the words life changing, but I think that's what you meant. You said something about us being life changing to you. Is that, is that something that you remember saying five minutes ago? Yeah, more or less.

When my wife and I showed up at the resort, we had done nothing. Lifestyle related of any kind, any ilk whatsoever. And so as we started getting ready to come down here, listening to your podcast was one of the first things that we had done that kind of introduced us to it. You guys were celebrities in our minds, and then as we walk in, frightened kittens in the lobby, you guys were the first people we saw, ushered us into this, uh, these festivities, and it has been life changing.

You're welcome. Second of all, the thing that I learned today from your. Adorable yet vacant husband is that I have been saying the word urine wrong. So I say, what do I say?

urine and the correct way is urine. When he brought up the urine thing, y'all are going to the urinal. Did he bring it up to you? We were on the airplane with our earbuds in and we would count down and push play on both of our podcasts at the same time, and we started giggling like everyone in the plane is looking at us.

So you were giggling it the way I talk. I mean that sounds so mean when you say it like that. It is. I mean you are, yeah, we've all heard it.

All right, so here we are a year later we're at a different resort. Your hands are all over my wife. One of the interesting things that I remember specifically about us, one of the things that we learned you is that correct grammar we learned you that checks out. You for the first time in your life realized that you had a massive penis.

I had no idea. Did that change your life in any way? I, I honestly had no idea. I know because no, no, no, so, so it was, it was definitely strange to, to hang out with someone as beautiful as Lauren and realize that like I can play with someone that looks like that and then it's only because of your size and then get excited and then to hear like, oh, and you have a.

Giant dick to boot. It's like, oh man, there's no bigger ego stroke than that. Very, very beautiful wife you have here. I'm sure you guys do rather well in this lifestyle that we birthed you into.

Yeah, we're racking them up. A lot of notches on the bedposts. Yeah, that's right. We actually do like World War bomber style.

We just paint, paint a little picture of a dick and some boobs on the wall. All of our bedroom. That's what Kilroy is. Do you know what Kilroy is?

I have no idea. You need to look that up. I want to relay one of the other more memorable moments for me was when we were hanging out in the hot tub that first time you came over, we were chatting and I looked down. So I turned to my wife and I'm like, Hey honey, Richard's dick is on my leg.

And your response was, You'll be all right. You're still alive and breathing, breathing and everything, and you liked it a little bit. Alright, so a year later now, where do you feel you are like your comfort level walking in completely different? How did you walk in today than you remember walking in last year?

Utter panic. Take the top off and then it's like, oh we're here. But now you're home, right? It is great to see you guys back.

Uh, we, we really appreciate the experience that we had with you guys and you're really special. You really are. I said that in an email that you ignored. He's not lying.

We will hopefully see you on Thursday when we come back here. Give me a kiss. Oh, by the way, I should let his wife know now, your husband did tell me in the disco that he had his first male kiss today with me. Is this true?

Really? It was on the cheek, but yes. Oh wait, no. Is it true or not?

Yes or no? Yes, sir, I will. All right, we have started. So we have the pleasure to actually sit down with an actual doctor who stopped me in the jacuzzi and said, Richard, that thing that is wrapped around your cock, which is my junk jewelry, she said, I have to remove those sometimes and that immediately scared the shit out of me.

So, I, I'm so happy that You're here and you can explain this to me. What is the process of getting a cock ring stuck on you? I can tell you that. I can do that part.

It is when you either take too many pills or you shoot your penis with something that makes you absolutely rock hard and then it doesn't go down. The doctors say that you have about 4 hours or so, and I was always like, It sounds like more of a suggestion. You actually have had to cut off cock rings for the first time it happened. Did you know what it was?

Did you already know what a cock ring was? So tell me about that. I actually hadn't seen a metal one. I didn't realize that was a thing.

Mine is metal. Mine I saw that. I, that's why I pointed it out to you, because rubber is easy to cut. Glass I can break.

Metal gets a little ugly. Glass, I never thought of that. It's hard in but in case of an emergency. Break glass, which is what I would put engraved on mine, right?

Because I'd rather cut my penis than have gangrene of the penis. What your lovely and handsome husband opened my eyes to was, I was like, well, I would just wait till it went down. And he's like, Well, that's the trick, right? Because if it's too tight, it will just hold everything in there and it won't, the blood won't find its way back out.

Yes, correct. Once all of the blood is in there and it's erect and rock hard for. However long, if it's swollen for any reason, if it stays that way, that blood flow, it actually swells more, so blood can get in and then it can't get out. And so it just keeps happening until the venous blood flow is cut off.

It won't go down and then eventually the arterial blood flow gets cut off. All right, so I'm holding my penis right now, not for sexual reasons, but more for ouch reasons. Is, is it actually a thing like gangrene of the penis? I've never seen it completely rotten and dead, but Definitely the blood flow will die.

The venous structure will die, and it will never get hard again. That is not a happy ending. So this guy comes in. You see it.

Does everybody know what it is? Or are there are people that are like, What the fuck does he have on his penis? I work in the emergency room. Everyone's seen it.

Oh, everyone has seen it. You guys pretty much know everything, right? So this guy comes in, his penis is how big? Bigger than mine, like a.

A Little bit bigger than mine. It was enormous. It was enormous. So just like mine.

Yes, OK, good, identical, great. OK, I just want people to get a, a, a picture in their head. So, all right, so he has a ginormous penis. It is engorged, we would say.

Did he tell you how long he had been in his cock ring? He had fallen asleep in it the night before, and this was like noon. Do you know if he tried to take it off, because I sure as hell would have. I would have used every kind of oil I had gasoline just because he tried to wrap it in like elastic, no, like, you know, exercise bands like the wide rubber band like to try to like squish it.

That doesn't make any sense. Why would he waste, why would he do that? He was desperate, I guess. Is he in pain at this point?

Is he screaming, Oh, my penis hurts. My penis hurts, because I would have. He was actually more kind of like hunched over pseudo fetal position, and anytime he tried to touch anything, he would like. slap your hands.

I'm like, you, I gotta, I gotta get to it if you're gonna let me fix it. He's like, Ah, no, don't touch that. All right, so everybody wastes at least 7 seconds talking about the size of the penis. But now we move on to the emergency part of this, and you have to get this off.

What is your first way of getting this apparatus off? It, it depends what they're made out of. We do actually have a ring cutter for finger rings, not they're not really. There's a metal tool like a little, it has a little spinner with a.

Protection that's like slides underneath of the ring and then you spin the blade and it cuts through metal, but it was a titanium one and the ring cutter wouldn't work. All right, what's step two? Because I'm picturing George Clooney and uh Maura Tierney. Uh, this is, these are all the cast of the old show ER and they're talking to one another like the ring cutter didn't work.

Bring in the buzz saw. Well, it, it was actually a sort of Dremel tool from the maintenance department. Get maintenance on the phone. Our door is broken and I gotta get this cock ring off this guy.

You guys got an extra Dremel down there by any chance? The Dremel comes up. What is the look in his eyes, you, when you're like, hey, this surgically developed tool is not working. So I called Jeff in maintenance.

He's gonna bring a Dremel up here. We're gonna get this thing off of you. He was at that point a bit panicked and ready to. Accept whatever.

Get Jeff here. Whoever knows how to use that Dremel, just, just bring it. All right. So you bring the dremel in now.

One of the things that the Dremel is going to do to this metal thing is what get really hot, right? So now we have another problem. We're gonna both cut it off and melt his penis at the same time. Basically.

What do you do where you're like, did you know this thing's gonna get really hot? We knew. The, like the castols that we use sometimes, you can feel that it heats up and, and I imagined at least that that was not going to work out very well. The, the actual ring cutter, the tool itself that's made to do this, has a little safety protection plate that slides underneath of the ring, and because that piece gets hot as you're spinning.

So I knew if there's not that piece underneath of it, then it's going to get hot. Now, I'm guessing one of the medical procedures is not to go. That's probably not. That was his wife's job.

That's what got him there in the first place. What do you have to do to keep the heat down? The, the first thing we actually did was take a like a tongue, tongue depressor and stick it underneath so that there was something, because also it's a spinning blade, right? It's gonna cut him just like it's gonna cut the ring.

So tongue depressor doesn't seem that safe for it. I've got, I've got very steady hands. So you put wood underneath. Put the wood on the wood.

You put the wood on the wood, and you start going and this thing starts heating up. What do you do? The nurse. Had a bottle of like a saline sterile water that we poked holes in the top of so that she can hose it while I cut so that it cools the blade.

It's kind of like a wet saw like we're cutting tile, cutting tile. That's what I was gonna say. That's pretty genius. So is somebody like touching it and making sure I have a hold of it.

I have to stabilize it. The hand grip that you're making right now is like you're holding a baseball bat. So the image that I have in my head is this man was quite endowed. I feel like in my brain it gets bigger every time I tell this story.

OK. It probably wasn't that impressive, but this was a decade ago. I want it to be really, really big. I do.

All right. How long did it take you to cut through? Once we actually found the right tool, it was 15 seconds. 15 seconds.

Well, we had to do it twice because it doesn't bend either, so we had to cut a notch on both sides. Was he super thankful? Yes, it was like instant relief. It went right back down to 8 inches.

It was kind of like once you blow up a balloon like 3 times and it's a little more stretched out than it ever used to be. I, I, well, I guess I'd never seen it previously, but it didn't look like it should have. I wouldn't think. Was his wife there while the procedure was being done?

Was she saying, Careful, careful, careful? Uh, no, she just sort of stood there like grimacing, waiting for him to lose a piece that she really cared about. Oh God. Second question I have for you, anal cavities and vaginal canals.

How much stuff can get stuck in there and how do we deal with a situation like that? We've all heard the hamster story. Now, I don't believe that that is real. Can you validate right now, right here, have you ever seen a rodent in an ass?

No, no, right? I still believe it's kind of true. I don't know. Maybe it's not.

It's a great story. It's a great story. And for me, the rodent always gets bigger and bigger every time I tell it. We've heard these stories before.

Women, I tried to masturbate with a shoe, now I can't get it out. Or men, a lot of them come in and they're like, I have a maglite up my ass. I fell. You're nodding yes.

You're nodding yes. So this is a thing though, right? So in the hospital. Hospital people come in with things stuck inside of them.

I could tell stories for days if you really wanted to. The first thing, so the vaginas, women use them as purses. I mean, like I have pulled a cell phone out. I have pulled now wait, cash just drops.

No, stop. Let's stop at cell phone. 4 tampons. Stop it.

She forgot. She forgot. Just keep putting them in. No, fuck.

No, All right, like I'm just gonna pause it cell phone. Was it on vibrate? It, it was dead by the time I got to it. Do you have to ask them like how did it get there, or do you just do your job?

I generally do ask more to make sure that they're not being abused and not being a mule and like the other things that you would worry about. Well, that's caring. I would ask for entertainment value, but, but that's probably better, sort of a professional. OK, so you have cell phones and strange things.

What is the first thing that you have to do to get this thing out? Is it forceps with vaginas, it is. There's, it's called a McGill forcep, but it's like a little ring forcep that you can actually reach in, kind of like when you're getting a pelvic exam. The, the vaginas aren't nearly as, we'll get to assholes in a second, but My question is this.

If it's just forceps, I feel like, why can't the woman get it out? They could have got some cooking tongs. Honestly, part of it is it sort of creates a, a vacuum and a suction to that unless you have the speculum that opens the vaginal opening and then the forceps. Like it's a suction pressure that pulls things back in.

When you get it out, does it go? Does it? No, it doesn't. No, no.

All right. Last question. Hey, doc, uh, I fell down and there's a half of an umbrella up my ass. It was an accident.

Don't even ask. That's what I would say. Don't even ask. It's been one of those days, OK.

Uh, I, I, I got this thing in my ass and, uh, how far can you get up into the human rectum? Me in the emergency room, it's basically if I can feel it with my fingertip, I can get to it with a tool. A lot of times we'll do an X-ray to see exactly where it is, make sure it hasn't perforated anything. And by perforated, so the non-educated people, not me, I know exactly, but I need you to tell people what that means because they didn't go to school like you and I did.

Perforated to make sure that it didn't poke through the wall of the intestine actually into their abdominal cavity. Can it get really high up? I picture myself trying to retrieve it, and it's like trying to get something under the bed, and you keep poking it, and it's just going further and further away. I imagine that's something that could happen, right?

And that tends to be when they wind up coming to me because they've tried and they've tried tongs and they've tried whatever they have at home and, and. It just doesn't come out. You can't actually get a grip on stuff sometimes, or they just can't. The difficulty level vagina versus anus seems exponentially higher, right?

This is a different level of expertise that you need and different kinds of tools. Yes, most definitely. There I am. I have a bottle of vitamins in my ass, and I say to you, I can't get it out.

What do we have to do? It, it depends. There are things that have been in there that I have to send to the operating room anyway, like a, a glass Snapple bottle. So here's, here's my favorite funny story because he wasn't honest.

He, he checked in, I think he said he had a rash was what he had registered for a rash, yeah, and I was like, OK, where's your rash? Tell me about your rash. And he was like, um, actually I haven't been able to poop. I'm like, OK, different than a rash, yeah, but still happens all the time.

Let's check what's going on. So you do an exam to see if they're impacted. So one finger and, you know, once you've opened the bottle, the Snapple bottle, the lid clicks. Don't tell me you heard the click click.

Do you know immediately what it is, or are you like, why is there a tiny button in this guy's asshole? I, I had my suspicions because like, yes, I was like, um, is there any chance, and I actually said a Snapple bottle, and he was like, how did you know that it was a Snapple bottle, actual Snapple bottle. All right, so, what is his answer? Yeah, it started after the rash.

He, he still wouldn't admit that it had intentionally been put there. He's like, Well, we were all partying and I went to sleep early last night. I don't know what happened. I listen, I don't know what happened.

I woke up with this cock ring on, a giant twelve-inch cock, and a bottle of Schnapple in my ass. So you say, well, to fix this rash, um. We have to be really careful because your rash can break into thousands of pieces and perforate your intestines, which we don't want to happen. Yes, in this case, breaking the glass is not a good thing.

Do we have to X-ray him? Yes. What does it look like? On the X-rays it always looks so much bigger and it's like it looked like it was almost at his belly button really because clearly they'd been trying to retrieve it and just push it further and further in.

So how do you not break the glass? So glass I won't ever attempt to retrieve. Do we have to open you actually have to go to open surgery. We have to open him up to open surgery for glass, yes, because of the risk of perforation and the damage that you can cause.

This guy who came in with a rash now has to go get opened up and you tell him, sir, the cream that I was gonna give you is not gonna be that effective. We're gonna have to cut you open. What is his reaction? Do you remember?

It's just denial. It's just denial. Well, if there's a bottle in there, then I guess that's what we'll have to do, get my insurance straightened out, straightened out. I'm sure they'll cover this.

What's my deductible. Tell my wife, uh, nothing. Tell my wife nothing. So what if it is an object that isn't breakable but it's not coming out?

I had a roll-on deodorant tube. No, how do you get this thing out? What do we do first? So you actually have to break the seal and what?

Wait, wait, hold on. Break a seal because we have a hymen. It's suction. There's suction going on.

Yes, that's most of the time why it won't come back out, even if you could grab it and you can pull. It just doesn't. There's a vacuum on the side of this, like the outside of space, motherfucker. This isn't going anywhere.

Yes, so what we do is the Foley catheters that you put into bladder. I can't talk about those. I need you to skip this part about sticking anything in my pee pee hole. Well, I'm already grabbing my penis again.

All right, you gotta stick one of those and get the air out, so we. Regulated on both sides, yeah, so you can actually push it to the side and, and a lot of times we'll do two because once you get it past the object you can blow up that balloon and then, oh, tell me it flies out of his ass like a bullet. It actually works really well. Oh good.

Do we lube it up beforehand and it becomes like a deodorant cannon, like a shirt cannon. That's what I'm picturing in my head. Boom. Congratulations, you've had a baby deodorant.

So we don't have to give, do we give muscle relaxers or anything like that? Most of the time, no. Like, yeah, and there isn't anything that we would do to the anus or the sphincter at all as far as relaxing it, not even talk dirty. A little rim job, a little rim job, nothing.

Thank you so much for answering these questions, and I don't get to run into too many. People who do what you do, so thank you for your service. My pleasure. I'm probably going to, to keep wearing my cock ring.

I think mine's loose enough. Just don't fall asleep in it. I won't fall asleep in it. I promise.

I take it off every night. It's part of my ritual, um, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here. We appreciate it. Thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me. What room are you in? 52. What room are you in?

25, 12. What room are you in? 2003. What room are you in?

1211. What room are you in? 2314. What did you get me for my birthday?

I didn't get you anything for your birthday, but if you let me know next time, you'll have Amazon packages galore coming to your door. If you didn't forget, what would you have gotten me for my birthday? A vibrating cock ring or Nicorette? What did you get me?

An awesome tie. I'm gonna wear it as a bandana. Is that OK? Yes.

What did you get me that you didn't bring? hat. Did it say anything on it? I'm horny.

Can you pretend that you got me a gift, but you forgot to pack it? Yes, absolutely. What did you get me? Uh, two girls at the same time.

Will you bring that gift next time? My birthday was last week. Can you pretend that you got me a gift but you forgot to pack it? Sure.

What was it? Shoes. I need shoes. I danced the soles out of my shoes.

Bring them next time. I don't want to say I'm embarrassed. I have a woman's foot. It's an 8 1/2.

But it's all right. I have pretty feet. Do you think a guy would ever admit that he's not in the mood for sex? Yes.

Do you think they lie sometimes? Yes, definitely. With her, I'm always in the mood for sex. How long have you guys been together?

What time is it now? Yes. So you think they're all we're always in the mood for sex no matter what? I think so, yes.

All men are always in the mood for sex. Absolutely. I don't think they ever are not in the mood for sex. No.

Have you ever experienced where a guy's been like, I'm just not in the mood? No. Do you think it's hard for guys to admit that? Yes, usually I'm always always in the mood.

Are you always in the mood for sex? Hell no. Fuck no. You're in the pool, a bird shits on you.

What do you do? Go under the water and wash it out of my hair. I just said it shat on you. You put it in your hair.

Where would it be? Are you always at neck level in the pool? Bird shits on you in the pool. What do you do?

It happened and I went to the ocean to keep the pool clean. Perfect. Birds shat on you. What do you do?

I get out of the pool, I shower, and then I get back into the pool. All right, if you get shat on in the pool, what is your next move? Go up to someone and hug them. Nice.

Just share. What do you do? Get in deeper in the pool. That doesn't seem very hygienic.

I mean, do you know what's going on in that pool? Probably a lot more than bird shit. Have you ever been shat on by a bird? A lot of times.

Have you ever been shat on by him? A lot of times. Can you say I have never seen more penises in my life, but you have to say it in a southern accent. I have never seen more penises in my life.

That accent is worse than mine. I have never seen more penises in my life. Can you say the words I have never seen more penises in my life, but using a Southern accent, I've never seen more penises in my life. Can you say it with your, your, your natural dialect?

Too much dick here. Can you do it with a, with not a southern accent? I've never seen so many penises in my life. She took a trip to England.

Can you do it without a southern accent? I've never seen more penises in my life. I've never seen more penises in my life. That was very good, by the way.

Now I need you to do it with a true Southern accent. Go. I've never seen more penises in my entire life. Everybody's going to England.

Can you say I've never seen more penises in my life, but in a southern accent? Do you accept any other exotic accent? Not the one you're using. That's.

That's cheating. Give it your best try. All right, say it in any accent you want. I have never seen so many penises in my life.

That's my favorite one. That was awesome. Have you ever had obligated sex? Yes.

Have you ever had what felt like obligated sex? Yes. Do you know what that is, obligatory sex? Yeah, OK.

Have you ever had to have obligatory sex? No, no obligatory sex? No, no. How about yourself?

Maybe to pay off a debt? Yes. Do you know what I'm talking about, about feeling obligated to have sex? Yes, feeling sorry for somebody, and you've never done it.

No. Have you ever felt like you should do it? No, obligatory sex. Yes.

Do you remember the scenario 15 minutes ago? How do you feel about me in a kilt? Fantastic. Kind of sexy, huh?

I think you would look awesome in a kilt. Me in a kilt, I wouldn't care. How do you feel about me in a kilt? I think he'd look great in one.

I do too. Feel about your man in a kilt. Awesome. No underwear, right?

Right. Would you like to borrow mine? Do you have one? I do.

I'd like to see it. Would you ever wear a kilt? Sure. Would you wear a sarong?

Yeah, nope. Would you have your man wear a wrap around the pool instead of his shorts? Absolutely. What would it look like in your mind?

A diaper, a diaper. Have you ever had anything stuck inside of you? It depends on what we're talking about. Well, a foreign object.

Yes. Did you have to go to the ER? No, I did not. Yeah, I could get it out.

Have you ever? Yes. In my dick. You got something my cock out.

Oh, is that true? Look, now I'm holding on to mine because I feel squeamish. Did you have to go to the ER? No, pliers were my best friend.

Oh God, have you ever known anyone who's had something stuck inside of them? A relative of mine who got his cock stuck in his zipper and had to go to the ER. Have you ever had anything stuck inside of you? In college, I had a condom stuck inside of me for 2 days.

that I wasn't aware was there until it came out. I fell asleep. I did the walk of shame the next morning, and then I found it like two days later. That's not that bad.

I mean, that must have made you feel like a skank though in some ways, entirely. Yes, I can't believe I just said that either on purpose or by accident. Had anything stuck inside of you? No.

Do you know anybody who has? No, stuck inside of you? No. Have you ever had anything stuck inside of you?

Love in my heart. It's a great answer, but not what I'm looking for. A gerbil. A gerbil is the number one answer.

No. Ever have anything stuck inside of you? A large pill in my throat. I was thinking a different end.

Have you ever had anything stuck inside of you? No, no, but I've actually had to drive someone to the ER to have something removed from his anus. What was in there? Please say I wrote it.

A toothbrush rather. I'm going to stop this. I'm going to hear the rest of that. OK, thank you guys so much.

I really, really appreciate it. All right Lauren, we've started. How are you feeling in Mexico? I'm actually, you know, I'm free.

I'm good, free, yeah, like I don't know, free at last. Last, thank God Almighty. That's, is it a song or a singing? That is Martin Luther King, right?

Not a song. Not a song. I thought you were singing for a second. No, that's just the tone of my voice.

It's velvety and smooth. Well, how are you feeling other than free? Great. Well, I got some new clothes this week that made me feel good.

Someone just gave. The panties. No, well, actually that did happen. A woman did give me her panties today by the pool.

No guy ever comes up to me and says, Hey, Richard, I want you to have my bathing suit. Well, I'm sorry. It never happens to me. The cutest thing was she wrapped it in a, like a hand towel from the, from the restroom.

It was really cute. Disturbing is what that is. Anyway, remind me we're gonna sell those on eBay. My experience today at the workshop, I, I'm a little bit mad at a person who walked out of our workshop without saying goodbye or tipping us, which is really the most.

Important part as far as I'm concerned, but this guy, every time we came around to this guy, we were on top rubbing his lovely wife or whoever she was, I don't know, and he wouldn't stop moaning, Oh yeah, she likes it like that. I know. Oh my God. And I'm like, all right, if that's how she likes it, Daddy's gonna give it to her.

That's how she likes, yeah, so I was really getting into it. Yeah, round one, I'll play along. That's what I did too. That's funny.

Round 2, game is on. He's like, he's purring by the 2nd round, and then he just walks out. But now I'm all stuck with this horned up feeling inside of me, so I have to go. For the rest of the week now all horned up because this strange man came into the workshop, stiffed me, used me.

I felt violated. I didn't feel violated. I wish I felt violated anyway, so then we go to Pearl the next day, still horned up, great workshop over there, still horned up, and we're like, alright, let's stay. Let's go, uh, let's go to the jacuzzi and hang out a little bit, the hot tub, see what all the cool kids are doing.

We go over to the hot tub and I just wanna be sexual. Do you feel me? Even though the rules are in place, I still wanna just be sexual. Yeah, I get you.

So I'm talking to people. I'm talking to certain people. I'm getting hard. I'm just gonna jump up here and my wife is just gonna start blowing me, or we're gonna start doing something or we're gonna do stuff, but everybody keeps talking.

That's my problem. Maybe, uh, just the two of us talking and not really interacting with people that would be a little more. Well, eventually, I mean, you're sort of jumping ahead a little bit. So then we go over to the smoking section because someone had a cigarette.

It might have been me. I'm talking to all the people that we know and having a really good time. I look to my right, there's a woman that I hadn't seen at the resort, and I turned to her and I say, Hola, because I'm bilingual, she doesn't speak Spanish. She speaks Portuguese, which I do not know.

I barely know Spanish. I'm like, bla espanol. She's like, not really, but this girl, this couple was just gorgeous, and I was like, I can tell they had sort of a like a dirty mind, sort of, yeah, like they, they were into PDA. They were into like exhibitiony voyeuristic stuff.

Nobody else around me is doing stuff. They, they wanna talk about just crap, and I'm just like, let's get our dicks hard. That's, let's talk about that, that, right? This couple, Brazil, they, they don't listen to the podcast.

I, I, we haven't done it in Portuguese yet, so I don't blame them. I immediately am like, I want to go talk to them. I'm watching her sort of play with him a little bit, which is giving me some cues. They're into public displays of affection.

Everybody else is talking about, I don't know, taxes and shit, and I don't want to talk about that right now. It's Friday. I have a drink or two in me. I want to get sexy.

So we go into the thing and I'm like, go sit down, talk with them, and then we start talking with them in Spanish because she sort of knows Spanish. She, I can see she's playing with him a little bit under the water. So I'm like, yes, I picked the right couple. You're so good at that.

Like, I'm so glad your head is on a swivel and sort of taking in everything that's happening. It takes a disgusting mind, but I just watch, I watch little cues, right? Little cues here and there. So then she's like talking to us, having this really bad conversation in Spanish while she's like jerking him off underwater, and I'm like, Oh my God, you're so pretty.

She was she was so pretty. Uh, all right, this is going someplace. I don't really know that many words, so the conversation is gonna cut off at some point. Uh, what's gonna happen.

But right now I'm gonna go get another drink. Honey, hold the fort, hold the fort down. So I go to the bar all the way in, this is a Pearl, so it's like 100 yards. So I go all the way across to the thing and I'm waiting for people to get drinks.

I'm talking to somebody while I'm still waiting for my drink. I'm having a pleasant conversation. How are you? Oh, good to see you.

Thank you very much. And then you're next to me for some reason. What what the fuck are you doing here? You're like, I, I, I just ran out of stuff to say.

I, I don't know what to do anymore. And then in front of this guy who I was very pleasant with, I just, he just sees me turn to you and go, you get back over there right now, right now, and continue that conversation. Go. I mean, he was like, OK, well, I, I'll talk to you later, dude.

Do not screw this up. So I get my drinks. I go back, you're holding on to whatever is left of the conversation, but it worked. She was so intimidating and I'm not good.

I get so shy and I'm just like, OK, they don't want me here anymore. I'm out. They so wanted you there. So I'm like, let's go over to the side of the jacuzzi.

I'm gonna play near them and see if we gradually get closer and closer to one another. What happens after that? I have no plan for that because I can't tell them in any language, we're not allowed to do this. So we start playing, but I can tell that they're sort of first timers.

I sort of asked, I think it was their first time they weren't super, super experienced, so I was like this is sort of a, a cool bet. Uh, I, I don't think they're gonna really wanna get physical, but I did wanna sort of have some fun with you. We start playing sort of next to each other in the water. And another guy comes up and invites us to dinner in Cancun, which is fine.

That's really nice. In the middle of a blowjob, which is like, hey, you guys wanna go to Cancun with us to dinner in Cancun with us. I'm like, hey, no, thanks, man. That's, that's really sweet.

Thanks, man. All right, brother, I'll talk to you later. But that's not how it went. What happened was, he just sat down and started talking while you were blowing me.

It got awkward to the point where it was like, and you were like, Well, I just, I'll go to the bathroom. Yes, and then, and then you get up. Now I'm just having a conversation with a hard dick with a guy who's inviting me to Cancun, and then the couple. That I'm trying to play with, they're like, Nah, I'm over it.

I'm like, Oh dude, yeah, there's such a finite time when you're trying to do that. You're killing me. So you come back from the bathroom. I think he was still with me.

He was, yeah, he was still with me. You're like, Do you want to go to a bed? I'm like, Yeah, I hope he doesn't follow us. But yes, so we go to a bed.

And we start playing by a bed and then that couple, the Portuguese speaking people, they go to a bed across the, the way. I hate that we're like, damn it, I chose the wrong. chose the wrong bed, but here's the thing about giving zero fucks. The bed next to them was empty, so I said, let's just go lay on the bed next to them.

Yeah, I'm like, do you want me to go ask them if we can sit next to them before we do that, I'm like, I get these people to come home with us. I don't know how we're gonna do it. I don't even speak their language. This is gonna be weird and awkward.

So we go over to the bed next to them and we start playing next to them. And it was one of the hottest sex sessions I've had. In a while there at the jacuzzi, everybody's watching us, right? All of our friends that we made that day, and they're like, Oh, I didn't know you could play.

Like, well, we could play, we could do stuff, you know, we're on our own bed. You're not fucking the people, and you guys were talking about taxes and politics. They're fucking. I wanted, that's what I wanted to do.

So it was really, really hot sometimes when it's something that you can't have, it's like super kinky, yeah, but it's. So super frustrating. Maybe, but there is this intensity that was behind it. So it was, again, I was sort of oblivious to who was watching because I'm always like that.

And plus, you lay down, you know, I start blowing you. I can't see anything when I'm doing that. And I'm kind of checking to the side. I just keep looking over.

And so she starts blowing him. We're just like, yeah, we're doing the same thing. And it's like one of those things you don't really need to speak the same language, honestly. But One of my, um, this image that's like burned in my head is by the time we started fucking, they started fucking.

They were waiting for us to sort of lead the queue. I looked over, I was doggy style, I guess she was doggy style, and she just kept creeping down lower and lower and her arms were spreading out further and further and she just grabbed the sheets, and it was right on the side of the bed that was right next to me. And I I just was like looking at her like I wanted to reach over and just grab her hair or something, but we made eye contact and I'm like, I think that's legal. You grab her hair.

Is it? I really don't know. I still don't. I have no idea.

Yeah, I don't know. Then we finish. They're like, All right, well, we'll see you later, and we're like, No, we're not gonna be here later. Here's the thing.

They're like, OK, we'll see you tomorrow. I'm like, No, not gonna be here tomorrow either. And then we went home and I was like, I'm never gonna see them again. Well, how are they gonna find us?

And they Instagram message us. Yeah, I was joking about it. I was like, oh, well, maybe they'll, they somehow found us. I mean, but they don't, how would they know?

I don't even know. I guess I have no idea how they found it. I have no idea, but they did. And then I was like, get them over the house.

They never came over though. So it's hard dealing. With the with the rules and stuff, but it's doable. There was a couple last week that came up with the idea of doing a GoFundMe for a boat.

Yeah, we'll get a boat, parking it on the pier outside of Desire, but we should live on a boat. So I kept asking people if they were in for $50. I don't know how many people it has to give $50 to buy a boat, like a million dollars. That's a big boat.

All right, Lauren, before we wrap this one up, I need to let you know that I need to put you through Google school because you are walking around this house not taking advantage of the smarts that I infuse. You walk around in the dark because you're afraid to talk to the speakers. I took another shower tonight in the dark because, and then I like stare at it and I'm like, I'm gonna talk to you and then I don't. It's not a poltergeist.

I don't know. It feels weird. It's a smart speaker. Just talk to it.

I get afraid to like say stuff out loud. I feel like that's awkward, Lauren. It is the future and you have to get used to it. Let's practice right now.

All right, I'll say, hey, Google. Hey Google. Oh, hey Google. If, if, if that triggered anybody's crap, please write in and let us know.

All right, Lauren, tell me what you are addicted to this month. Is it what or is it who? I'm sorry, who? I'm sorry, what did I say?

Who or what? You said what? Yeah, what? Who?

Because is it the same? I'm addicted to staring at Caesar. I am also addicted to staring at Steve. Steve, not Steve.

It's Steve, I mean, I, there's something I have to tell you later. I know. I am also addicted to staring at Caesar. He is one dreamy playmaker, new playmaker at Pearl, just fell out of a perfect factory.

Yeah, it's like Mattel ordered a Zac Efron doll, and then they were like, but we needed to be ethnically diverse, Brazilian. Yeah, so we just make him tanner because he's this brown piece of perfect chocolate. And I find myself just staring at him. I do stare at him.

He catches me, and I think he likes it a little bit. His proportions are perfect and his stupid hamstrings. Yeah, you do. You like his hamstrings.

Oh, they make me wanna melt, and he has that little, he's got that Luke Perry Dylan McKay sort of scowl going on him. That's my favorite part. I watch him come in and out of the water when he gets in and out of the water. I swear to God, him and the water are in slow motion.

Oh my God. But you talk to him a lot and that's gotta stop. Yeah, it will not stop. Anyway, speaking of addictions, tell them about bikini addiction, those hot bikinis you're wearing and all those Twitter and Instagram photos.

We love them. We support them and they support us, and they are gonna give you a free bikini to the 1st 10 people who book. 5 nights or more after this podcast. Or if you just want a bikini, go to bikiniadddiction.com.

Be sure to enter room 77 in the promo code, and you'll get an extra 10% off just for knowing this. And remember, if you're thinking about coming to Desire, you wanna go to Temptation or you wanna go on a cruise, go to our website, room 77life.com and go to Lauren's box. Play with Lauren's box, look around, check it out, give it a smear, do whatever you have to do. And come and visit us at the resort.

Also, what we are offering now is some very special exclusive things. They're not too exclusive. I mean, basically, what we're doing is we're taking the membership aspect of desire. If you've ever wanted to stay in one of those kick-ass villas or in the mansion, now you can do so.

How? Volume. That's how. No, it has nothing to do with volume.

We are selling someone's membership. That is how this is working, and they're passing those savings on to you. So get up to 25% savings if you want to stay in that mansion or those villas. Now, the people that are doing this, they usually offer 10% off.

We are offering 25% and 20% off most everything because we're super generous and cool. You can go to our website and check it out. So, Lauren, tell them a little bit more about what they can do to wear that super. Cool, different colored bracelet.

And yes, with that you get all the membership benefits that the members get, including unlimited hookers and blow. I'm pretty sure that's in the in the membership, correct? I think so, yeah. All right, check it out.

Instead of going to Lauren's box, pick the dates that you want, contact us, tell us your dates, what room you want, and we will take it from there. If you can't visit us because you are stuck under something heavy, consider joining us on Patreon and you can find the link down there at the footer. Right now, we wanna thank Thank the people who sent us money that they will not be able to write off for a charitable donation. Thanks to the Patreons who raised their pledge to us, David, Matt and Kristen, Jeff and Karen, Randy M and Lowland Squeak, and then we had new ones.

This is the best name ever. Richard is my sex god. Bud, Mr. Reeves, Dan and my Okaya, Lauren, Greg, H, uh, rockstar astronauts, Manny and Mr.

Herron. Thank you guys so, so, so much. Also thank you to Jeff and Karis for bringing us gum and thank you Jeff and Karen for bringing us that shirt with the cool pineapple on us. Also that shirt that says Lose your soul on the dance floor brought to us by Karen and Jeff.

Thank you guys. So I hope you had fun today. Now, I wanna figure out how to hook a his Smith up to a Google. This way I can say, hey Google, fuck my wife.

That is a smart His Smith. We'll see y'all next time. And that about does it for us. For more information, photos, or to contact us, go to room 77 podcast.com.

Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.