Ep. 42: How To Do A Party in Dallas | How To Group-Use A Sybian

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Better with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now we do. We love work, party, and play in the middle of paradise after 18 years in the lifestyle, we thought we saw it all, but we were so wrong, so wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day.

So come to room 77. Let's play. All right, Lauren, here we are. We are sitting back in warmth and sunshine in sunny Cancun, Mexico.

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. You're not built for the cold weather. I'm not built for the cold weather, not for the polar vortexes. Uh, there's a lot of things that we have to talk about.

Then maybe some people are like, I have no idea what you're talking about, maybe, yeah, so, but how are you doing? I, I, I missed you. I, I haven't really talked to you since, uh, since Dallas, Texas, the Valentine's Project. We were there.

I know you were there. I saw I was in photos with you, so obviously we were there together. How are you since then? I'm busy.

I'm busy, Richard. I never stop. Yeah, I know we'll get into that. We'll, we'll get into the busyness of, of, of everything that's happening.

The busiest poor people we know is us. Well, tell me about yourself. How are you feeling now sitting there in your little white panties, and they're like panties that are like they're sexy because they're like, I guess, schoolgirl panties. Yeah, that's someone gave these to me as a girl, a woman who likes to play little girl daddy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what they look like. They look like, come here, you are bad, and now I'm gonna spank you. And so we had this whole conversation about it. So she's like, I'm gonna bring you some.

So she bought them for me. Yeah, super, super sexy. Now we had planned the perfect Valentine's party, Valentine's project. It was bigger than Coachella, I think it was bigger than Coachella and that other one.

I don't know the name of Burning Man. Yeah, it was like Coachella and Burning Man together and what's that brave one? That's what I was trying to think of Fantasy fest. I don't know, it's all those things.

That's how awesome our event was. It was a whole weekend of extravaganzas. The spoiler alert, everybody had an amazing time. Before we get into it, I just want to say that we know that the things that happened in Texas, it was a national emergency, so we're not making light of any of that.

We understand that it was a very serious situation. People had died, they suffered. They're still suffering. Our hearts go out to everybody in Texas.

Uh, a major thing that happened, right? We're not used to that in Texas. We're not prepared, right? A lot of suffering.

It was if we were not there, there would have been all of that suffering without us. We helped people suffer less. So that's a good point, Richard. So for at least the people that were there that had a great time, they did suffer less because we were there, thus, in my brain, saving hundreds if not thousands of lives.

I think the joy that we delivered was then spread to the rest of Texas, yeah, because it's like the butterfly effect. Now you know what the butterfly effect is, right? I don't, but it's awesome. You should look that up later.

There are a few little hangups in there that we'll talk about. The first day consisted of what, Lauren? We did speed dating. Now I heard that this was amazing, right?

Now I, I did not partake because I prefer my dating to be very slow, but Everybody kept talking about it, right? Well, I did speed and then I realized that wasn't what it was about. So then I just took a nap. Amazing that you were able to take speed and then take a nap.

Let's go with Molly dating. That sounds fun. Molly slow dating, slow dating or shroom dating. Let's do that shroom dating.

People had a lot of fun. They were laughing. It's just a good way to meet people so that when you're in the club environment part of the party, you don't have to scream and lose your voice like I did. I think a couple got married from the speed dating again.

I don't know how any of this works. And then we had the party that night, right? That was the, uh, the winter white party. Winter.

Now this is just a great example of how powerful our brand is because. I suspect, and I didn't want to tell anybody this, I suspect that a month ago when we announced that we were having a winter white party, we are so attractive that the polar vortex was like, what? Party in Texas? I'm going to that shit, which brought all of this cold mass down.

You didn't think about that at first, that as soon as we announced it, that the weather shifted. I did not. I don't want to say that room 77 is responsible for climate change. To set this up, it was the two of us and a gentleman we'll call Jeff.

So Jeff was doing a stellar job of setting everything up for this 3-day event. It was going well until Mother Nature decided to come in and say, Uh, oh, I'm going to fuck with you, Richard and Lauren. Well, I remember you showing me your phone and you were like, Hey, look, it's a storm coming through, and I'm like, Oh, so the temperatures are dropping, whatever. It's not a big deal, right?

I got the, the forecast and it says it's gonna be cold, right? And that's about all I take from it is, oh, they better turn the heat up. That was really the only note in my head. Hey, uh, Jeff, uh, just FYI, what I'd like to.

To offer this particular meeting is, uh, make sure the heater is working. This thing exploded, right? We had to basically stop selling tickets because there were so many people that were coming to this thing. So we had, I think, 300 and 300 and something people over there.

It was scheduled to show up there. We went through a list of like 22 hotels, narrowed them down to like 3, and when I say we, I pretty much mean Jeff, our partner who did everything on the ground there. Set up and break down. We went through a ton of hotels that accepted us.

That in and of itself wasn't easy to do because he had the task of finding a place that was private enough that would accept us because some of the hotels were like, you're not bringing your devil work into our hotel. That's not gonna happen. So he finally found somebody who was eager for our business and just did a $10 million makeover. So one of the rules that we had had, uh, There were no other groups in the hotel.

You know, we could do a partial takeover, but we don't want any groups coming into the hotel while we're there because we need all of your ballrooms and your space, basically. They said absolutely. So we jump on a plane, we get off the plane, we get into the car with one of the ambassadors of the party, and we do the first thing that is super important to a lot of people, which is make a direct line to Chick fil A. I seriously, I had two things on my list, In N-Out Burger and Chick fil A.

So we go to Chick fil A, then we go to the hotel, right? And we start checking out the hotel and things are. Uh, things are chilly, right? Things are kind of cold, you know, first note, hey, Jeff, doing a great job.

Everything looks amazing. Uh, I gotta say, a little chilly in here. So, you know, he's gonna talk to, to the manager and his name is Mark and Mark, as far as like, how do I explain his work ethic, uh, worthless. Yeah, I think it's like worthless.

Like you would ask Mark a question like, hey, you're gonna get that, you gonna get that heater working? He was like, yep. And like it was just like noise would come out of his mouth. It was just like, yep, the Oompa Loompas are on it.

We gotta put a broom against the, why? Just can you make it hotter or not? So the, the answer was always yes, yes, it's by the time, you know, you get in here, the thing will be working. They had done a $10 million renovation on this hotel and that's how they sold it to us.

Like we've done a $10 million renovation. On this hotel, if you look at it, it looks beautiful. They, they really did look amazing, but it was equivalent to as if I was selling a car, right, and I said, I just did an entire engine rebuild on this thing, and all I did was wash it. And just to give you an idea as to how the management works in this particular hotel, Jeff comes in with all the equipment, and this is how they work.

Hey, do you guys have, uh, freight elevators? And Mark says, yes, we do have freight elevators. Yes, we do. Awesome.

When Jeff gets to the freight elevators, they're not working. So he goes back and he says, your freight elevators are not working. And he says, yep, but we do have them. Oh, well, fuck you.

Holy shit. I'm sorry, I wasn't clear on that. That should be your first red flag that things are gonna go to hell really fast. While we're there, we're sort of climbing up the elevator and we noticed that a table is sort of set off to the side there.

Now we know that there's another group that's coming in here. When we had booked the hotel, there was no other group at the hotel. Now, even though there's supposed to be no other group. At the hotel while we're there, we had been informed that they had to take in another group, which is a group of volunteers that were helping the homeless during the cold temperature snap polar vortex thing.

Wonderful people, way better people than I am, super altruistic. I love it. It's a very, very difficult thing to complain about, right? You are immediately in a position where that tiny part of your brain is like, but that's gonna ruin my party.

But the better part of your brain is like, but they're homeless and they need help. We were told that, you know, it was an outreach program, awesome, but they're setting up a table and I walked by the table and there's one book that says ban on it, B A N N E D. I'm like, uh, what does that mean? That seems odd and it is a thick fucking book.

It was not a 5-inch binder. Yeah, this was not a pamphlet. I'm thinking, band, that's so weird. Alright, well, whatever.

Later on in the day, while I'm sort of setting up, I hear a kerfuffle down in the lobby. That's when I find out during our party, what was supposed to be a sort of empty hotel. Almost kind of take over, uh, 72 homeless people will be joining us for our party now. An outreach program, altruistic, that is one thing.

72 homeless people at your swinger party, that is something else. Again, how do you react to that? You have to say, oh. Well, that's nice of you to house them here next to our party.

Good for you. They need it. It's cold out there, Cold out there. All the best.

Keep doing your thing. So you're, you're grinding through that. I support you. I really do.

But, however, Mark has also told us some very, very different things. This was not supposed to happen, but the temperatures are incredibly low, and this is just the deal. But they say this is what we. We're going to do for you.

You are gonna have your own set of elevators. Your people are gonna have elevators and the outreach program, they're gonna have their own elevators. And there's gonna be somebody here at all times to separate those people and make sure everybody gets to their floors. We will have the Dallas police.

The Dallas police will be here presents for your safety. They will be posted down here making sure that everything is OK. All right, Mark, they are, they are some wonderful ideas. By the way, how are the Oompa Loompas doing with the heater?

Yeah, still working on that. Uh, it's gonna be fixed, I promise. We found a clog in the flimflam and we're just gonna stick a plunger in there, we're gonna, we're gonna flush it out. I go into the room where we're supposed to do the art of touch.

And I'm like, Jeff, um, What's the deal with the heater in here? He's like, I, I think it's fine, right? And I'm like, OK, you've been working for 72 hours in a jacket running up flights of stairs. Your body temperature is like 100 degrees right now.

I don't think you understand. You do not want to be in a room naked, covered in oil in a room where you could also safely store lunch meat. Like, That is not gonna work out well. That's the rule.

And I could pretty much, I could safely store lunch meat in this room. I'd be OK. It's not gonna spoil. No, it's not gonna spoil.

So then I get Mark up there and I go, what's the word? Ballistic. I mean, I'm surprised. I, I was 11 sentence away from killing him.

So I'm like, Jeff's like tapping me on the side going, how do I stop this? I was like, you don't. I'm, I'm fucking angry because I hate being lied to, right, because if you had said the truth, the heater doesn't work. That should have been the answer 3 days ago so that we could adjust, not it will be.

Fixed and it will be warm in here, you fucking liar, which is now things, other things start falling into place like it's just an outreach program. You won't even notice they're here to, we're living with 72 homeless people. We're gonna have guards and elevator operators. Our elevators are hanging by fish hooks.

And silly string, and that's how they operate. And security, and security is a very loose, I use it very, very loosely, not really security. And they were gonna provide us with a police officer and there was a police officer there, but he wasn't doing so much protect and serve as he was doing a little more perch and socialize. He was, he totally was.

And I'm like, I'm gonna kill you if there's no heat in here. And that's when he basically tells me, look, look, and this is the voice he's using, look, here's the thing, it's just not gonna work, he's just not gonna work. He turned to his engineer, and then I start talking to the engineer, and I realized he doesn't speak English, right? And I said, does he understand?

And he says, no, well, he, he, he, he understands it, and I asked him in Spanish, do you speak English? He says, no. So thankfully, I have a simple understanding of the language. I start talking to him in Spanish, and Mark's response is, Oh, you speak Spanish.

Good. Then, then you guys got it from here. Yes, did he really say that? Yes, I swear to God.

Then you guys got it from here. Now, by the time we make it in there, the place is teeming with homeless people. Again. It is a great thing.

They're not out in the cold. You have to make the best of it, right? And you have to understand, look, I'm gonna share my space with homeless people, and if anybody has a problem with that, they need to search their soul, right now, as long as everybody is fine. Like, because unfortunately, we know that the homeless have mental issues and sometimes social issues.

There's a lot more to being homeless than just not having a home. It's a lot more complicated than that. It's, it's very difficult to find that fine line of treating anybody who is in a different, uh, social situation in a normal fashion without going overboard like an asshole. Right, then that means talking to somebody in a real way without noticing their tin foil hat.

So you're talking to them and like at the same time going, don't look at their tin foil hat, don't look at their tin foil hat. So the, the first instance I think we had, he had come up, I decided to sort of look him dead in the eyes and I said, hey, how are you tonight? And then how do you deal with the response of my belly hurts, my belly, my. It hurts.

There's really no way to react to that statement except look away and pretend that it's just not happening. I sort of glanced over to the table like, hi, he has a problem with his belly. Can you please help him with his belly? And she does.

She's like, Oh, Steve, did you take your medicine? Right. You and I by this point are exhausted and just go take a nap because we spent all day just dealing with all of this stuff. I wake up and I go over to the computer and when you do an SDC event, there's like a message board that you get with your event and I look at the message board because I'm getting some of my inside information this way as to what's happening in the hotel and all.

Reed is 15 people are stuck on the elevator. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The elevators aren't, aren't even working.

Jeff comes up and we have like a pow wow, meditated a little bit. Yeah, it's like the locker room of a football game at halftime. Like, let's set us up. Let's go and we go to the party, shish boom bah.

I looked really smart in my white outfit as long as nobody noticed my black hoodie because I had to wear it because it was so cold and you were very sparkly and shiny and white. It was all sequences. Anything shiny that night was really cool. I think that I, I did taste someone's vain.

Vagina on the dance floor, I can't quite remember, right? We got a present that was in a box. Uh, she gave me her, like a, it wasn't her actual molded vagina, but it was a molded vagina. What else was in there?

Because I know I got one thing and then they turned to you and there was like 6 more things and they're like, and the rest are for Lauren. It was, um, there's like a penis lollipop and some other things, but yeah, all for you. Well, I mean, not really, but yeah, sort of, but, but we danced the night away. That was the point we sort of knew everything was gonna be really great because the people were super, super supportive.

Yeah, Friday night was sort of a blur for me because I was so ready. Get my drink on and my dance on that I think I kind of got drunk and just danced, stripped down meeting and talking and kissing and was all over everywhere. There was a big line for the, for the drinks. I know that we were in a line sort of talking to people in the line, making sure because I kept asking Jeff, Jeff, can we do get another bartender up here?

Or something at this point because the hotel itself was actually falling apart, people were asking, hey, are we allowed to do whatever? Yeah, in fact, I was in the line talking to somebody about WandaVision and I was like, hey, you know what? Listen, if you wanna go to your room and get your bottles of booze and come down here and set up your own minibar, do it. Do anything you want.

They have abandoned us and there's literally no one to say no. So do whatever you want. We don't care. And it was cold in that little lobby waiting for drinks area, but thank God that our main room stayed warm.

I was dancing so much with so many different people by the time I ended up stripping down to just my bikini and was sweating. We moved the sex room sort of in that room, so everything was warm enough for everybody. Everybody over there. The crowd was super positive and super wonderful.

They didn't really care. This is the start of the moral of the story, which is we're so focused on the negative things that kept being piled up against us that we didn't remember how amazing the people in the lifestyle in the community is. They're like, Hey man, shit happens. We just want to have a good time.

The night's going on now. The night did start with the fire department did come out to save the 15 people. On the elevator, that worked out. And then the night ends.

I walked out and there were 15 more people now stuck on the elevator. Once again, I walk out to our guests sticking chairs and signs and anything else that can fit through the crack of an elevator door screaming, Hang in there. Try to open it up. Try to open it up.

I'm thinking, you're gonna get these people killed. To me, I think the best thing to do is stop listening. Listening to the drunk people dressed like whores, they're just still having fun because they're not stuck in there with you. So the fire department shows up and they do not look happy.

They don't look happy at all. People are stopping them for selfies, but they made it. They all survived. They made it out of the elevator.

I don't know if anyone had sex while they were in there. I hope they did. Me too. Anyway, thank you so much, people who got stuck in the elevator twice.

We're gonna make you special t-shirts or something. Yeah, you should get special t-shirts. Uh, so not once, twice the fire department had to come out. That's a party as far as I'm concerned, until, you know, like, hey, it's not a party until the fire department comes here.

And then the second time, yeah, it's not a party until the fire start comes here. Yeah, the fire department's like, yeah, if we come here one more time, we're gonna shut you the fuck down. So stop it. Stop, stop piling so many people on the elevator.

So at this point. Everything that's traumatic is revolving around these elevators. The homeless, I don't, no one even knows they're there anymore. That's the last of our problems.

While we were there, Lauren was mistaken, and this is true, was mistaken for a homeless person. Lauren was told, no, you are not allowed in this elevator because this is the, the non-homeless elevator. When you texted me and told me that, I was very upset. But when you came inside, I saw how you were dressed, I thought you kind of do look like a homeless person.

You get cold, so you bundled up. They have no heat in the building, right? The lobby's freezing. I went down to go grab coffee and I have my little backpack because I always have to.

There's too many things. I have to get 3 coffees at least, and I'm loading up my coffees and I grab sugars, I grab some creamers. I'm throwing it in my backpack and, and the front desk lady doesn't even say good morning, nothing. She goes, You don't need that many.

Sugars. Now do you think that she said that to you because she thought you were stealing sugars? You come back upstairs crying because this person said this to you. Then I said, Who said that to you?

You said, you said the woman at the front desk, her name is Jen, because I got so angry. Now I want you to imagine being on the other end of this conversation. You pick up the phone and you say, hello, front desk, and you hear this. Listen to me, you fucking bitch.

You just told my wife how many sugars she can have. If you ever tell my wife how many sugars she can have, I will make your life miserable. That makes no sense to no one. No one.

And she's like freezing cold answering the phone and hangs up the phone. She's like, I don't really think it could get any more miserable, sir. She must be like, oh, there's an insane person in the hotel. I also wanna let you know that when that did happen, I knew that there was a chance that I had to climb down 20 flights of stairs to come and get you in your crying state and thought, nah, she'll be OK.

I'll hug her when she gets back up here. So that's a supportive husband. Well, you love me so much. I was, I'm supportive up until 10 floors.

After 10 floors, I get less supportive. You do. Oh sweetheart, you're welcome. So now it's the next day.

Yeah, we're gonna wake up. We're gonna start up fresh. It's a, it's a fresh new day, brand new day, brand new day. The second day was full of events from 10:00 a.m.

to all the way till when the party started. We had strip poker. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, I poked my head into there.

Then I saw some naked people. We had. Another speed dating and everyone went to the lodge on buses, uh, which is like a strip club in Dallas, very big strip club there. Everybody went to the lodge.

Only 1 person was left behind out of that 130, which we never saw her again. That's sad. I think she now works at the lodge, probably does. So we know who you are.

Sorry, lady. Um, and that was really cool. And then we did our very fancy ball night that night. Yeah, masquerade.

This night was even more crowded, more fun. Everybody for cardiovascular purposes was using the stairs. I don't know why they didn't want to use the elevators. I remember using them as well, trying to get a high tight ass.

slight elevator problems. No one would know. No, how would you notice the firemen. But other than that, but that night was, it was even more crowded.

There was a lot of people, and I am very bad at recognizing people, recognizing faces. I just can't do it. It's like I, I have a disorder and I apologize. And I saw people that I've probably seen 100 times, and I walk up to them and say, hi, nice to meet you.

And you're floating through the room like, hi, John, and oh my God, it's so good. To see you good to see you. I know you're coming. Oh my God, how are your grandkids?

And I'm not that good, but you were running around doing a great job talking to everybody. What did you wear that night? I borrowed this dress. A girl was going to lend me some of her things.

Wait, yeah, hold on. What do you mean by borrowed? I thought I was borrowing it. Pretty sure you stole it.

Yeah, so I went down to guest registration just to see everything was closed and finalized in there. It was a little dress folded up on the thing. I'm like, she is so sweet, one of our ambassadors, and so I put it on, getting dressed for the night. You're getting in your little tux.

You're looking amazing. Like I love you when you get dressed up. I know it rarely happens. Well, we live in the tropics, so getting in a suit here is not happening, right?

And so I put that on. I went downstairs and for the party with you and ran into her. You're like, thank you so much for the dress that you left me. And she's like, What dress?

I'm like, you like the dress that you left on the desk. She's like, I didn't leave you anything. So you said, Are you telling me that I am wearing a stranger's dress that I just found somewhere randomly? Yes, you've stolen a dress.

Maybe I do need to get in the homeless elevator, but you looked fantastic, by the way. Did you keep that dress? I stripped the dress off in the, in the party, and I don't even think I grabbed it. I don't know where it went.

Maybe it's the woman from the lodge who's lost at the lodge. Now she's without clothes. She's naked at the lodge. We stole her dress and left her at the lodge.

Oh, poor child. I remember meeting so many couples. There were a lot of couples there that that was their first event. I know.

And every time I met somebody, I was like, I'm so sorry. They're like, Well, you can't control the weather. And I'm like, I know, but I'm sorry. The second night was very sexual, but there was like a Sybian group that started in the middle of the couch sit-down lounge area.

The last time. I've seen this was at the hotel where we're doing the art of touch workshops, and I saw a gaggle of women, just a bunch of naked women, but you were all riding a sibian. Not all together, but we had my, I called her my Sybian sister. She was on one side, I was on the other.

We were pulling guinea pigs to sit on it. We're like, have you ever been on one? No, I don't even know what it is. Well, you're on next, sister.

We put them on the sibian, and we would start touching them and talking to them, dirty talking, making out with them. Playing with their nipples, like really kind of making a little private headspace for them to let go. Some people had their lingerie on. Other people just got butt ass naked and were like, fuck it.

I'm just doing this. Let's do it. And it was super fun. It was super fun.

It was super sexy. This little semicircle sort of started, and I would walk by every once in a while, and I would see the guys sort of gazing off as if they were being. Hypnotized by something you would even try to talk to them. You're like, hey man, did you, hello, hello, what?

Because they're watching the, the sort of sex show that's happening. It, it was very, very sexy with all of those ridiculous things that happened. It was still a success. Yeah, people had a great time.

I mean, they kept having a good time. They said it was the best party they were ever at. They did. They said it was the best party they had ever been to, including birthdays and Christmas parties.

We've been getting a lot of support. We've, you've been getting a lot of emails and stuff. People write then have been writing the nicest emails and reviews on SDC or wherever they want to message us. Those comments that warm my heart, I guess they put the warmth back in the party.

Yeah, all in all, I can't wait to do it again. I can't wait to party with those people at a hotel that has heat and work. elevators, that's gonna be a really, really great time. There is a YouTube video of the event that we have up on YouTube called the Valentine's Project.

If you wanna go check out the little clip that we put up there. It's also on our website and it's on our website. So that's about it. So now we are gearing up to go down the street to do the villa party.

We are exhausted. Uh, we start that in another day or two, and then after that we start gearing up for Antigua. So. There's no reason for us to throw these parties unless you guys are there.

Make sure to, uh, check out our website and join us because we want you to come and party with us. And just because we wanted to wrap this up in a very messy, perfect, disgusting bow for you, FYI. So we did evacuate the hotel and that is sort of how it ended. And if you think about it, how fucked up this is, this hotel.

After we had just held a successful event in it, was unfit to house the homeless people that they had put in it. So the hotel broke down so badly. By the end, it had no power, no heat, nothing. They had to evacuate the homeless that they had put there.

They made the homeless homeless to the second power. That's how. Exponentially homeless. Well, that is, that was the story from Dallas.

It will be made into an NBC miniseries. I'm so glad that NBC picked us up for that, the 6 part. Oh, I heard 3 part, but maybe you're right. I haven't, I haven't looked at the trailer.

Yeah, I got a 2nd order. Oh, cool, sweet, awesome. So, uh, thank you to everybody over there. I was really sad that we didn't get to do the art of touch.

I was really sad. There was a lot of people that I wanted to get naked and rub, however, did not want to be responsible for their hypothermia. So we're gonna rub you and then cover you with an aluminum blanket. Yes, but if you do want to come and do the art of touch, you can come to Antigua.

We're gonna be doing them there. Come to Antigua with us. Go look it up on room 77life.com and come and get rubbed over there. And I don't think, I believe this is true.

I don't believe there is one elevator in this resort in Antigua. I believe you are correct. So no fucking elevators to worry about in Antigua. Not doing that anymore.

Uh, we want to say we had an amazing time. Thank you to everybody who came out to that party. It was so special to us because you were there. It was such a blast.

I really, really had a good time and I thank you guys for that. Yeah, that is all because of you. We also want to thank our sponsors of SDC. We want to thank Liquorice Love, who gave away a bunch of fun prizes there.

Also to Bikini Addiction, who gave away a crap load of stuff. They gave away special extra coupons. It was 20% off instead of the normal 10. That was awesome.

So when you go and check out any of those sponsors, use promo code room 77 and you'll get a discount. Go to Bikini Addiction and check it out. They're actually coming out with a men's line calleddicted. You don't know about this.

I, I've been asking him to do one. Yeah, no, this is what I know. It's calleddicted. Now this is the genius part ofdicted, uh, the male side of Bikini Addiction.

Now what they did was pretty genius, right? So they make very sexy man shorts, not like the gross kind. No, these are like the cool, oh my God, these make me look so thin, shorts, right? But what they did was some of the ones you find on the more salacious sites, they pad it, so it looks like you have a lot more junk than you actually have.

What they did Addicted, again, a subsidiary of Bikini Addiction, they just Sew in the penis head into your shorts because I found that women look at my junk, they get most turned on by the outline of the head of the penis. That's absolutely true. I know it is. I'm like twisting and turning already.

They are making shorts that have a faux big outline of a penis head. It's so genius, right? I love it. Now this concept is so new that not even Bikini Addiction knows about it.

It's not up on their website or any social media, but it will be soon, I imagine, and it's spelled D I C or you're spelled addicted. I don't know. So get your addicted. Is that what I said the first time?

Bikini Addiction or no, it's called dicted by Bikini Addiction. What is that? Is it my icted? Yeah, so many commercials can come out of my God.

Everybody's gonna clear us. Yeah, it's so good. I see the, the black and white photoshoots happening now. It's, it's very Calvin Klein, 80s guests, 90s.

Do you feel it? No, my dick did. But seriously, thanks, thanks to them, thanks to them. If they can make that ad to begin with before they even start making the line, yeah, did you feel that?

No, I'm addicted. I'm sure they'll reach out to you to make that commercial. I can, I can run on a beach like a motherfucker. Yeah, we'll do, you know, in slow motion, by the way, holding flowy stuff.

We'll do it at the villa party next week doing it. We're making addicted, and I know whose cock I'm gonna use. I got a stunt cock for this. So good.

Yeah, so this is perfect. Alright, thank you, sponsors SEC Liquorice Love, and Bikini Addiction. All right, Lauren, here we are. I'm gonna start off laughing.

I mean, it is just unbelievably amazing, and by amazing I mean a complete catastrophe. It's Bernstein Bears or something. I don't know why you're bringing up childhood books on a swinger podcast because it's the things that you don't do. We are sitting down with our first guest who has made it through this ordeal somehow.

She looks like she's in. One piece and not only does she look like she's in one piece, she looks fucking amazing and I wanna ask her to stylish, yeah, I wanna ask her to do, would you say hello really quickly? Hi. I just, before we start, I've been dying to ask you this for the past 20 minutes or so.

Can you stand up so I can see your stomach really quick? Holy mother of God. Like you could sit down. You could sit down.

I mean you look like you were sculpted by some sort of mad doctor to make every other human woman angry at you because you are just perfect. No, stop it. She's just saying that because I'm here. She is not.

I saw it last night. I want you to really lead like, like that, like that, that mic is a cock, yeah, that close. Oh, that's so much better. Yeah, tell people where you are right now.

I'm in the ballroom where the party's at the Room 77 swingers convention in Dallas for Valentine's. That's what we should do. We should call it a convention. Yeah, for sure, yeah, the convention went well.

It was a very sexy convention. We all had lanyards. Now this is my first question for you. What was your favorite part last night when The fire department showed up to get the people off the elevator or the 2nd time the fire department showed up to get the people off the elevator.

OK, so the 1st time the fire department showed up, we were just getting to the hotel and we were just in gym clothes and everybody was in these nice fancy white outfits and we were just like gym clothes and tennis shoes. So we couldn't get our luggage upstairs. I didn't know if I was gonna even be able to put on my white dress for the night, but they, they did get one elevator open, and yeah, we went upstairs, got changed, came back down. So the first time was my favorite part.

Now, I was only there for the second elevator incident, which I have video that I cannot show to anyone because it's just a bunch of terrorite swingers stuck inside of an elevator. And, uh, this is what I thought was a little bit unnerving, was when the fire department showed up, here they are in full gear, ready to save lives, and there are swinger men in see-through white pants giving them instructions of how to help. There was one guy in there who had like man underwear. With a man, a garter almost and nothing else on.

That's all he was wearing and it's freaking cold, not in the ballroom outside. It's cold, but imagine a, a team of firemen in full gear and a shirtless guy in a thong who's like, What can I do to help you, dude? I mean, my answer to that is back the fuck away from me, sir. Right, yeah, absolutely.

But other than that, you were at the party last night, right? Other than me being the highlight, what else did you like about last night? It was a great party. I liked the freedom of just being able to be myself.

I liked how friendly people were and complimentary and just we met a lot of people in such a short period of time. Your husband, I'm, I'm assuming that's your husband, yes, your husband is here, right? And, uh, he is also extremely handsome. The trick here is, is you're both fairly new into the lifestyle.

Is this your first lifestyle event? I'm sorry. Um, what are you apologizing for? It's been wonderful.

We appreciate you saying that. It has been a kind of a cluster. Fuck Everybody here, this is sort of a testament, just so you know, you've seen the reactions of the people here of everything that has happened out of our control. You've seen how helpful and how positive and how wonderful the people are.

That is really indicative of the community of the lifestyle. So if it gives any sort of indication of absolutely, I agree. I, I burst into tears about an hour ago, full of gratitude, and I took a picture. Of people were vacuuming.

There were two brooms and and like a sweepy thing cleaning the ballroom while everyone else figured out everything else. It's just been like unbelievable, this teamwork and almost a better mixer, if you would, than even the couple's speed dating that we had earlier. That's what, that's what I heard. It's like a bonding retreat.

It's, it's. It's like it's like we all went on a bonding bonding retreat. So as far as you guys being new, have you been with another couple yet? Have you played?

Have you dipped your toes into that part of it? How many times? 1 to 2020 to 50/100 times. 1 to 20, 1 to 20.

Now, did you guys do a full, I'm looking at your husband, he's smiling ear to ear. Was it like a foursome? Was it a threesome? Was what, what happened?

Well, it was, it's which time? 00, how many? How many has there been? 1 to 20, Richard, Richard?

There's been a threesome. There's been a foursome. There's been another threesome. There's been another foursome.

So you guys are not that new. I mean, you were tearing through the swinger world with quite a lot of efficiency, it sounds like. Yeah, we met a really hot couple the first time, and it was, uh, just jump off the diving board into the deep end kind of experience, and it was, we've just had really good experiences, so I think that's helped. Are you a full swap couple?

We are. All right. Can I ask, I'm just need to nod here because he's not on mic, but do you, do you enjoy watching your wife have sex with other men? Lauren, write that down.

That's a just write that down. I have a chart actually. I'm just gonna use the registration just write that down for later. I just needed to know that.

I know we were trying to get you guys to go to Antigua and you may have some overlapping schedules, but we really, really hope to, to see you again. I would like to talk to your husband if that's possible, uh, just get a few words from him. Hello, my tall, handsome friend. Well, hello.

Uh, I'm, I'm, I'm not gonna lie, I, uh, I think your wife is really hot, and, and that I'm not even recording right now. I'm just using this as an excuse to meet the two of you. That's brilliant. I just wanted to sit down and talk to both of you.

Are you having a good time? Oh, I'm having a great time now. You and I bonded a little bit last night because we're both in the medical field, as you know. I, I have many, many degrees in both sciences and medical degree stuff, and Yeah, nothing, nothing really super specific, but we share, we save lives is really what we do.

Now you being in that field and being so tall and so handsome, how many times do you get hit on while you're working? Not much because I work with my wife, so we actually work together. So she's always around and if I'm not with her in between cases then I'm actually in the cold OR room. Have you had sex with your wife at work in the broom closet or something?

We had this little thing almost every day we meet around lunchtime when we can get lunch in between breaks and we'll meet in the stairwell and we'll kind of kiss, make out, play around, but we don't, no, we've never had actually had sex at work. No. Next time I have you on, if you don't have that finished, I need that box checked. There you go, just to go.

Along with my fantasy. That is what's happening right now in my brain. So I need that from you. Thank you.

Now, when you guys got into the lifestyle, whose, whose idea would you say it was? Was it yours or was it, was it hers? It was actually mine, and she kind of led her into it, I guess, uh, kind of accidentally on, so we were actually on a trip to Dallas, and COVID had basically taken over at that and go rap had shut down the, the whole state basically. So my wife and, uh.

One of her friends and her husband wanted to go dance. They were desperate to go dance. So I started looking through trying to find places to where we could dance. The only place you go would, would be Colette's there in Dallas.

Without really telling her where we were going, uh, we decided that and her friend knew, knew about it, but I, I, I kind of researched it. So I took him there and I said, Look, just have an open mind, you know, we're here, we got music, you like to dance, so let's go dance. So when she walked in, ignore all of the people who want who try to fuck you tonight. You get molested.

Just give me a signal. Pull on your earlobe. There's definitely a deer in the headlights, and, and she was, oh my God. Oh my God.

We had a great time as we were leaving, you know, you get in that type of atmosphere. It's very sexy. Oh, it's an aphrodisiac, and, uh, and it really kind of unexpected, but she was actually very into it, overwhelmed by it. So as we were leaving, we actually saw a really hot couple in one of the playrooms having sex, and she just like had to stop, and I couldn't get away from.

She says, this is. So hot. Oh my God, this is so hot. And the couple was like, Can you leave us alone, please?

Can you stop this? Can we get a little bit of privacy, please? So finally after we left, I asked her, Well, how do you, how do you feel about that? So that was, oh, that was so hot.

And I think that kind of hooked her on the whole thing that, and, and that's kind of how we got started. We actually started really slow, and then we met another really hot couple. We just decided to go all in, and it was a great experience, uh, especially for everybody involved. And so, um, we just kind of like a fish to water.

Did it feel like it sort of brought you two together even closer than, yeah, she's saying oh absolutely, yeah, I'll tell you what, we actually were kind of living a kind of boring vanilla lobster life and, and then we, we talk so much more now, we're so much more open, and we actually have a lot of fun with our conversation and you say, OK, well how, how are the kids? How's job? How's this so now we get to the point that, that we love to talk about. Did you talk to anybody today?

Did you, you know, I saw this, all our, our LS friends are just, it's just a lot of fun to. To interact with them and talk to them like that, we just kind of, there's a layer of something that happens with communication, and we hear about it a lot. We see it a lot. People talk about it a lot.

Oh absolutely, it's like a staleness and a routine that we get into, and then, you know, it's not that normal stuff in life isn't exciting to talk about, but when you are actively in having sexual fantasies and communicating them to your partner and I don't know, letting. Your mind be more open and free that your conversation gets like that and it gets deeper and your connection gets deeper and I find it really amazing. Your connection gets deeper and you'll also bring down any walls where anything is on the table and nothing is taboo anymore and it opens up your entire world because there's nothing to hide. There's no shame.

There's no nothing, and that is so amazing for it really is, yeah, yeah, it really is. I, I, I mean there's no doubt. How long have you guys been married or together? Uh, we've been married.

We've been together about 21 years. 2021 that's awesome. We just started this and, and when COVID hit, so I mean it's a great time to start. Yeah, I, I was like, I mean the best swingers come out of COVID efficient.

Well, it was kind of funny because the conversation we would have would be like, God, would you have, we, we kind of briefly talked about it. We had met a couple that, that we thought may have done that. We thought, would you ever do out, and she was like, no way. There's no way I'd do that.

Would you? Oh no, I wouldn't do it either, of course, obviously smash here, here we are, yeah. All right, one final. Question.

First of all, uh, 22 questions. Do you listen to this podcast? Have you ever listened to this podcast? Uh, did you find it before or after you were in the, in the lifestyle?

We actually found it right after we got in a lifestyle, and I feel like we helped you usher you into the lifestyle, yes, I'll tell you what, I, I, I, my wife can actually attest to totally and completely because a lot of things really open her mind up by listening to the podcast. And so she actually told me, she said, you know. She told me that you guys were, oh well, Richard and Lauren basically said that, you know, said this or said that, basically, and, and said it's, you know, it's OK to think this, OK to do that, you know, and, and using the experiences you guys have, have said on the podcast and stuff, so yeah, it's been, it's been very, you know, enlighting. Well, you are welcome.

Now one last question, would you say that your wife is a size queen in the way that she only likes really giant huge thick cocks? I would, well. He's definitely. That's a yes.

Uh, there's definitely a, uh, an upside to that. Yeah, she, she definitely, uh, but she, but she would take someone else that's of a, of, of more of an average size, right, you know, as long as it is in good working order. Yeah, yeah, I think Richard's asking for personal reasons. I'm going out on a limb here.

This is just a general question, right? We ask everyone this. Sorry, I don't even know what you're implying. Exactly.

That's so, so silly of me. It must be this cold weather. All right, well, thank you guys so much. It's, it's a pleasure it was a pleasure meeting you.

Thank you for being here. We hope you join us again, and we promise that we will have less cold, less homeless people. We'll have working elevators. Actually, I fireman part was kind of fun though.

Yeah, that was fun to watch. Right now we're gonna. We look for a 400 room hotel but it's all on one floor and that's gonna, that's gonna save us, save us some stuff. So, alright, well thank you so much.

Uh, we will see you later tonight because we have another big party. We're gonna keep forging forward and, uh, we hope to see you again at another event. Uh, thank you for being on the podcast. Thank you so much.

Alright, Lauren, I am very excited for this part of the podcast because this, this is, uh, well, it's the end, so I'm excited to be finished, but I'm also excited because it has everything to do with the Patreon. Now how long have we been doing this podcast thing? I honestly don't know. Like 3 years.

Has it been 3? It'll be 3 in May, I think it'll be 3 in May, May, and then we launched like in. August maybe? I don't even remember, it doesn't matter.

Anyway, uh, people started sending us money, which we really appreciate and need, and for 3 something years we have been complaining about the god awful couches that are in our house and the big announcement is, and I usually make fun about the things that we buy with our money, but this time we actually bought a fucking couch. This is huge. It's a big deal, and we thank you. I can't wait to fuck on that couch.

Yeah, we'll have to break that in. We will, but don't stain it, honestly, because this one was more expensive. I'm gonna, we'll put some towels down. Let's wrap it in plastic actually, like my grandparents, which actually did, and I'm not kidding.

Jersey Italian, everything was in plastic. I'm not kidding. So let's, let's talk about who this month was partially responsible for our furniture purchase. We have, thank you to Heather, Woods Pla, John L.

Darren from the UK, Ashley, Steve, Dwayne, Alex, HS Tal Vintage, Lisa, Will, TNA, and yoga lover. Thank you so much, Patreons. We hope to buy more furniture soon. If you wanna contribute to our interior decorating, please go over to patreon.com.

Slash room 77 because we are unsearchable. You have to search us on Google. Don't search us inside Patreon because we're dirty people and we do devil stuff. Tomorrow, we take our stuff and we go to the villa for Richard's birthday bash at the villa with 16 or 17 couples down there party in Playa.

If you want to be a part of that, not this time because it got sold out. Next time, keep a lookout for the flirty, down and dirty parties at the villas here in Mexico. We put everything up on social media or our website room 77life.com. Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

I can't wait to get there. I'm not super happy that I gotta move all the crap. Yeah, that's just part of it. And speaking of moving last, we are actually literally moving.

So when we come back from the villa, we are moving houses. A lot of people, I had said it in one of the podcasts, I said we'll get into that later, and then I never did. I'm sorry for that. A lot of people thought we were moving back to the states, but we are not moving back to the states.

We are moving down the street. So, uh. We found a place that's cool and different for the same price that we pay now. COVID kind of screwed with the rental prices here, so we're gonna, we're gonna be moving closer to the beach.

We're moving pretty close to desire actually. So literally if you wanna walk down the beach, you can walk down the beach and find us. So we hope to broadcast next from there. It's got a lot of work to do.

Yeah, it does, but that's OK. But it's OK because we're willing to put in burgers. Yeah, we're, we're gonna have a lot of fun. So we're gonna look for those desire bracelets on the beach every time we look out our window.

So I'm gonna buy, invest in like a box of flares or something and then you know where we live. We just get a sign in the beach that just says 77, right? And then they'll know where to find us, right? They won't know.

They won't know which one we are. That's right, but it'll be like they're in this building somewhere. Our neighbors will love us. They'll just scream up, Richard, Lauren, yeah, be like, oh.

Hey guys, and they'll be like the hoary naked people are here again. They're doing it again. My favorite part is like we went to go look at the house the second time or the condo, the house next to it, there on both sides are Airbnbs, and the pool was like full of these young boys, and you're like, Oh no, is this gonna be a problem? And I'm like, Oh no, this is gonna be just fine.

This is a good problem to have, Richard. All right, so we will see you there next time broadcasting from the beach. And that about does it for us. For more information, visit us at room 77life.com.

Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.