Ep. 101: Thumbs in Your Butt Rules

All right, Lauren, this question comes from Marshall from Marshall, Texas. Again, for huge coincidence. Marshall wants to know, I want my wife to dress hoary. I mean hoary.

Problem is she dresses really, really conservatively. How can I get her to dress hoary? Good question. Expressing the desire of yours and then it doesn't mean that you're changing the way you look at her, but that you would like for her to do this for you.

It seems like a logical piece of advice, but don't communicate. It doesn't work. The best thing to do in these situations, gaslighting. What we do.

sometimes we'll say things to her like, Oh, so you're going with that Amish look again. Sometimes we'll say things like, you know, none of my friends want to fuck you. These are things that really push her into a direction that just make her feel less sexy. And then that's when you turn things around and you go, I want to make you feel sexy.

I'm here for you, Marshall. This is what will make you a hero. Remember that this logic of gaslighting and getting her to look like a whore through manipulation. It's really a win-win for everybody.

77 is how it is said in British English. 77. You know, the. Alright Lauren, we have started.

One more for the books, one more until we crumble inside of ourselves and just fall to the ground and this all just ends. Whatever happened to you guys, just all just stopped one day, one listener left, we called him and apologized that we had to stop. But we can't stop because people like Lucas keep sending bangers like that intro song. I loved it.

Thank you, Lucas. Thank you, Lucas. There's also one at the end, the Mexico takeover that we're about to mention. We're taking over Mexico.

We're not taking over Mexico. It's not. Don't say things like that. It is not, it's not a very good time to say things like that.

Please. People are scared enough. So how are you, by the way? I'm really good, getting excited.

Um, a few things really, really quickly. We are 2 weeks away from flirt. Not when you people listen to this, we'll probably be almost there, but, um, as far as you're concerned, it's happening now. the party.

But we have our next one coming up, October, back to Isla Mujeres. Get away from the craziness, the mayhem of life and the world to go to a little island where no one has to deal with reality and be in a little peaceful world at a low, low price to have sex and be naked. And have fun. Dance in the warm tropical weather, by the way.

We're going to put it in the show notes, but you can always go to room 77life.com. We're going to put it right there. It's October 11th through the 16th. We will also be launching alert February 2027 at the same time.

If they book early because we understand that things are not easy right now. Things, I mean, even for us, things are not easy. So we wanted to give a little bit to the people, we want to give them a little bit of relief, give them a little bit of incentive. What can we give them if they commit early and say, hey, we're going to come together like we always do.

Let's, let's work together. We're giving you free round trip transportation. And that's, and that's USA transfers. It's not like you're going to be picked up by Jose in a white windowless van.

Yeah, and the ferry and we'll cover you all the way to the island and home. Take advantage of that. In other news, I am still awkward as fuck. That's, that's what I've realized during sex.

After 20 years of playing in this world, I still find myself in situations where I'm like, I don't know what to do here. When you look at me across the room or across the bed, do you look at me and go, What in God's name is he even doing? Like, do you look at me with those eyes? Like, what is he doing?

Why? I'm so embarrassed that that's my husband. Having sex with that woman and that's what he's doing. Like he should be doing A or he should be doing B.

Why doesn't he try that move? Like pick up her ass, do something, Richard, try harder, do something, do something besides the basics. I know I do it with you. I mean, we'll get into that later because sometimes you could just lay there and in my mind I'm trying to say, move, do something else.

That's what I was gonna say. I'm trying to tell you in your mind. Go sit on him. Go do something, you know, tickle his balls.

Do something. Do you do that with me? Like when I look over at you, I try and will you with my mind to like be more aggressive or like, like what give me an example like flip her over and just start doing our doggy. It's not even so much the position.

It's like, you know, grabbing her tits or neck or like something more aggressive than like an automatic in and out penis. Yeah, I treat them like blow up sex dolls. Yeah. So I was like get more involved just besides the vagina, like more parts of her body.

Hold her wrist back. It's what I practice with. But here's the problem. I still, I envy those guys that do that.

I really do, but I still don't know. The communication part is, I still don't know what to do. What is the level of that? Like, do you want, do you want that?

And things have triggered me in the past, like where it's been like, like I love grabbing the back of women's hair, right, until, until that one person. I was like, Don't touch my hair. Don't grab my hair, right? And then immediately I'm like, I'm never grabbing anyone's hair ever again for the rest of my life.

My suggestion is err on the side of trying and let them tell you, I don't like that. But what if they don't tell you? What if they don't tell you anything at all? And then they walk out of there and they tell all their friends in the lunchroom.

They're sitting at a table and then I walk into the lunchroom and they're all staring at me and they're like, Guess what he did while he was fucking me. And then they all laugh at me, you know what I mean? All right, I'll try that if, if we ever even get more parts involved, OK, ankles, wrists, even if we get a chance. I, I will try to do those things, but especially when it comes to like slapping or like smack, not like in the face, but like smacking them in the ass or doing stuff like that.

I did try to slap a titty once and that just backfired. That was, but I mean, but it goes to show you I'm trying. So that was the last time I'll I'll, I'll slap a titty, you know, there's, there's, there's so many things that I'm just like, you have damaged me in the way that like doggy style isn't like your, your favorite position. So my brain is going, don't do her doggy because that's not going to be pleasurable for her.

That's, I'm not talking about positions though. That's what I'm talking about. Like maybe you spit on her. Maybe like on her junk while you're fucking her.

What other things can you do while you're penetrating? That's what I'm talking about. Again, stick a thumb in her ass again. Absolutely out of someone out there is like, spit on my nipple, and they twist it if they said that, but they don't.

So what you're saying is, is, is I have to walk into a room, strangle a bitch, spit on her, and pin her down with her wrist, pin her down with her wrist, and then when they're like, we're out of here, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be like, my wife told me to do it. I mean. And then you're just gonna look over like he's you trying, baby. No, you would throw me on the bus and be like, I don't know what's wrong with you, I wouldn't.

I'd be like, oh, it's because I told him to try. He's being such a good listener. When I look over at you and you're not doing anything, my first thing for you is like, move, move around, do something like go like before we start, maybe like the way players in the NFL watch films. Like, go watch some porn, watch some film, you know what I mean?

Just watch some tape, pause it, rewind it really quick. See what the defense is doing. See, see, see how the, what the, what kind of routes they're running. And then you could be like, oh, I'm gonna try that.

Oh, she switched that up from going on her back and then rolled over and then pointed her ass up in the air, giving a clear signal, take my ass. Like. I see how she's moved gracefully like a figure skater from, from one position to another. How she climbed on, on that, that man like a spider monkey and then started riding him like, like a bronco.

OK, let me say here that I, my observations are to make you work harder and your observations are to make the women work harder. What does that mean? It means we both suck. But I think there's a lot of confusion because of regardless of whatever happens in this world, there's still just a lack.

What stops us is the lack of communication because the truth is, is we've trained for our partners, but we didn't train for the world. We've never trained for the world. So if there is no communication, things get confusing. And if things get confusing, they may wind up awkward.

And then awkward. Awkwardness, usually you default to stop. Yeah, not doing stuff. What I wanted to do was come up with, what is the happy mediums?

What are, I don't know exactly what her or you don't know what exactly his likes or dislikes are. What is the happy, what is the happy medium? What is the point of maybe not spit on her face like you just said? Lauren's example of, I don't know, try to try to take a piss on her like.

You know, change it up. Yeah, do something different. Bend over and take a dump on her chest. Maybe she's into it.

Make her eat lube. I don't know. Just try stuff. Yeah, sure.

There's a lot of, a lot of different scenarios all the way from many different areas. We just don't know because of the lack of communication, which is always why we in the lifestyle say communication is. is absolutely key, right? Because it's the key that opens up that lock of guessing versus making it successful.

It helps avoid awkwardness. Yeah, 100%. The other thing that helps avoid awkwardness that works really well is drugs. Yes.

The good news is, we have found the best source for the way to not feel awkward, which is drugs. Yes, it's legal. We are working with this new distributor called King B. King Bee Distribution, they sell this thing called the Kush Cube, a bunch of different flavors.

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Look at the lab tested results online. They have a quiz over there to find what the best product is for you. So you go to the homepage and you click on the product recommendations and you take the quiz, and it will tell you exactly what you need for you. It's amazing.

I took it and it tells you like, how high do you want to be? What kind of high do you want it for sleep? Do you want to be awake? It's really awesome.

It's so clean, really. Yeah, so they have THC gummies, they have the shroom stuff, they have, and they have other stuff too that I've never even knew existed before. They'll ship it out in 24 to 48 hours and usually arrive in 3 to 4 days. We had a few sent to our friends.

We chose our most gummy friendly, gummy loving friends, and they absolutely raved about it. So we're really, really excited to work with Push Cube King Bee Distribution. We want everybody to go over there. The best part is.

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Use our code room 77 at checkout. It'll save you 10% and it works with any sales that they do have sales all the time. Works with that too. So make sure you take the time to go look over there.

There's a lot of stuff on the site. I guarantee you they have something for absolutely everybody. So what we did was we took our members and we held them hostage and we said, look, we have these questions for rules of thumb. Told our members, hey, meet here and we're all going to talk about it.

And they came, they sat there and they waited for us to get through a lot of technical difficulties. And helped us with the rules of thumb. What are the rules of thumb? Rules of thumb are these things in the lifestyle that we think we may know from, from being in this for so long, and we, we have the answers to everything, which is usually what I tell people.

I know everything. You're the everyman. Yeah, I always find myself in situations where I'm like, I've been doing this for 20 years and I have no idea what to do. What do I do here in this situation?

I've been asking the same question for 20 years. So what we wanted to do was come up with a baseline default. The. Situations that we always find ourselves in, like, what is the safest, best bet to do?

I have about 12 here. I don't want to use all 12, but I have 12 in case you people are all boring and can't fill the time. I have about 5 good ones, maybe 4, but, uh, they span all the way from flirting to feelings, post hookups, what to do while you're fucking to oral. That's a good one.

I can't see on the screen for some. You don't need these notes. Oh, OK. These are my notes.

OK, good deal then. That's basically what it is. And what we want from you is your input, whether you've been in these situations, what your take is, what our default is, or what our rule of thumb is. If you have your any situation where you feel like, I kind of get confused all the time, this, this was born.

This happens often. I shouldn't blame it on just being with this specific couple, but this, this happens often is you go back as a foursome sometimes, right? You know what I'm about to say because we talked about this and we lived together. And You go back and you start as a foursome.

Sometimes what happens, I start to slowly realize this man, for whatever reason, immediately wants nothing to do with his wife, and I mean nothing. Like, he's not even looking in that direction. He's become completely disengaged. Then I wind up in a situation because we're very group play type people.

And then Lauren, who isn't the best offensive player. is just sitting there. So I'm like, I can't like look down at this woman and be like, I'm kind of, yeah, I'm kind of done with you for now. I'm going to go over there.

Like it's a weird situation. It always is. I don't speak up and say like, OK, let's be closer to the other side of the bed where they are because I feel alone over here. I'm just going to tell you now, free agency is coming up in March and the, uh, NFL draft is in April and I may be looking up to freshen up my offense.

So. I just, just consider yourself warned. That's fine. OK, fine.

That's how this was born. Why is it called the rule of thumb? It's very, very easy because rule of thumb, if you're gonna stick any digit inside of an asshole, don't start with the thumb. That's the rule of thumb.

So we wanted to start with first, and this is where we, we would love to have your input, flirting. And this is for men and women, those situations where you're interested in someone or you think that someone is interested in you. Yeah, you're trying to feel it out kind of thing on both sides. Let's give an example.

I'm interested in you, but I'm not getting a vibe back. And I'm like, I don't know what to do. I can't tell. Is she?

Is she not? Is she? And it turns out maybe they're just bad communicators, right? I'm too shy to touch you or I'm not good at compliments, and I just, but I'm looking at you and maybe I'm waiting for you to say something to me.

Right? Or maybe it's like me because you always say, I'm horrible because I never touch women. Or grope them in any way, shape or form. You're like, do something, do something, show them something.

So short of groping them, what is the rule of thumb when you are flirting with a couple, what should happen if you are a person and you want to show interest? Let's put it like this with a couple. Let's say you're interested. Flirting is like, uh, making, you're the dish, they're going to eat you.

OK, great. So, so the flirting part is the seasoning up, right? In that conversation, Compliments and the flirting and the talking should be like the seasoning. You should be drizzling it, sprinkling it in, just sprinkle, just a little sprinkle, a little dash here, a little, little plating, you know what I mean?

Not too much though. No, too much sauce, no, because if you're really hungry and you spill a. Bottle of paprika on there, then you're just an idiot with then you're just a nasty tortilla with a lot of paprika on it, right? So there's, there's levels here.

The opposite of that, by the way, if you're not interested, there's no seasoning. Don't season the conversation. You're a bland piece of chicken boiled in water, boiled chicken. You prison food.

That's what you are. You want them to walk away and think, well, they were pretty tasteless. Yeah, that's what you want. Because you don't want them to eat you.

That's the whole point, right? It makes sense. So, so, by the way, stop sending, you're guilty of this. Stop adding seasoning to people that you don't want to eat you, OK, because that makes me turn to you and go, What the fuck are you doing?

And have to tell them she has a shellfish allergy. I'm sorry, she can't eat you, even though she seasoned you up. And then they go, huh. So what is the minimum someone should or shouldn't do?

OK, let's go to the field. I mean, we've been in this situation. Has anybody been in this situation where they're confused because the guy or the husband seems interested and the woman doesn't seem interested or vice versa? Anyone?

Hi guys. Hi. Um, is this something that you're familiar with? On both the male and female side, we, we feel the same thing.

We're like. Talking to a bunch of people and everyone's very friendly, which is, which is how you don't know, are they friendly or are they friendly, friendly? So for me, for me, a good subtle sprinkle it in, not too much is a little arm touch, hand touch, little shoulder touch, a vanilla touch, not a grope, just a physical contact. Never a grope.

I broke it down into 3 sections, even though I'm holding up 4 fingers. This is true. So I think it should go like this. The first compliment that should be given out, flirting should be a very airy, easygoing, just a vibe check.

OK. Do you have an example of that or do you want me to start? Um, how, how long are you guys here? Like how much time do we have?

Not the, not the right answer. It's a good flirty. Not if you're at an event and you're all there together at the same, same time, but I just, I love your energy. I love your energy.

I love, you make me smile. You, God, you make me laugh. God, you make me feel a certain way. I like being around you.

I think that's the first, the first communication. That's one of the, the thumb. I think second is a compliment on something, whether it's something they're wearing, whether it's something. Right.

They chose that's a smart whiskey you drink. Love the way you did your like eye makeup. It's so pretty. Thank you, because a lot of women don't like when I wear eyeliner.

No, it looks really badass. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Are there other categories besides speaking?

What if you're not a good speaker? Well, we just heard groping is not a thing, but my third category, which comes last, is nice tits. It's not nice tits though. It's not nice tits, but it would be something physical, either physical about them.

Like, I love your body type. I'm really attracted to your body type. I think that you guys have a great vibe is going to go way further than nice tits. Sir, you really are packing some heat down there.

Not that I have not said any of these things before, um, but yeah, I, I, I am really bad at the, the, the touching part anyway. Is there anything anybody would add to that? Rule of thumb. I missed you, Richard.

We should hang out more. I know. Come over. This one might only work.

It depends on your spouse, but much better at flirting than I am and also better looking. So if the conversation stagnates, I go up to the bar at our local club and I get us each a glass of champagne, and then in the 10 minutes that takes me, we'll have moved the conversation forward. So we'll be in the chatting phase, and then I'll go upstairs and then everybody will be topless, and then I'll go upstairs and I'll come back down and everybody will be like eating. All the girls will be eating each other out and I'll be like, well, this worked out fabulously.

That, that did escalate rather quickly. But it really does in my brain, because you're, you're a positive person. I come back to the bar with champagne and I go, wow, everybody's getting along so much better without me. That doesn't enter your mind.

It will now. Oh boy, now you've cursed me, Richard. Uh, no, no. Listen, I'm very aware of the fact that like I'm a hot guy, but it's a hot girl, and that's, that's better for getting the.

Situation's going. Now, the next one was, was born out of the, the, the story that we told in the beginning, which is when you are in a situation where you're having sex with a woman or a man, it doesn't really matter. But especially for a man, this is, this is my personal question. Let's just say, and I'd like to hear from, from the, from the ladies in here.

Let's say you're going at it, and you're not the best communicator in the world. And it's, there's 4 people playing, Lauren's over there having a good time. I'm having a good time, but Minutes have passed. How much is enough time to now switch position?

I'm looking, yeah, I'm looking down now and I'm going, I think she's having fun. Let me change this up. So if I was to ask the ladies, we are assuming, by the way, let's pretend, let's take orgasm off the table, not till I come. That's not an option.

How long do we stay in that specific position, ladies, how long until you change it up? I want to hear. Yeah, well, mine's like about. About 56 minutes usually because then I just start feeling like if I'm not next to you, I feel detached.

If that's me being too clingy, I don't, I don't know, maybe that's what that is. But I like, but then 5 minutes is about my, but then you go back and your offense sucks. And then it's like you'll lay there forever. I know that's my issue.

But in my mind, I'm like wishing it to, I'm willing it to change with my Yoda mind. Did you ever think about carrying a stun gun? Can you hear me? Yes.

I just think that's very subjective. So it depends on your physical state at that time, right? It could be a physiological problem, like, ow, my back hurts or my knee hurts. Oh, I see.

That's a good point. Explain it to me because I'm slow and not good in bed. They're saying like the reason they may switch positions, they're uncomfortable. It could be like they're physically like, you had my leg behind my head and now let's say you're on your back.

Back being a pillow princess, I, I am over you just like, and there's this gray area of pleasure and boredom on your face. I would say just do it. I'd say 5 drops of sweat. Oh, measuring in sweat after 5 drops of sweat, that's equivalent.

I'm gonna go into my eye. That's when it's no, we're good. Let's roll. That is equivalent to about a minute and a half for me.

So there's your time. OK. Now, I mean, if you're bored, the other person probably is too. So just change.

Y'all are all very confident in your bed play time. I am less confident. We are. That's why I'm asking because I need these pointers.

I need my own rule of thumb. Don't overthink it. I, I do the same thing because I know that sometimes I will probably stay in a position way too long, right? Be nice just to be nice.

But like at the end of the day, I don't care if somebody moves on. OK, so, all right, but if you were in a different. Situation, how would you speak up and say, let's switch? Well, I think that's a good phrase.

Let's switch. Yeah, that would be a good thing. Let's switch. This is not a phrase I hear often from women.

Now do me doggy. I do not hear that all the time. No. Oh well, you're just being with the wrong people then.

Oh, can you, can you slip into my DMs? Yes, you know I can. Yeah, because this is, this is the thing like I then I wind up going, uh, so what do you like? Do you want to soak?

Big spoon, little spoon. What are you into? What are you, what, what are you into? Um, so, OK, I, I guess it is really subjective to, all right, so I'm gonna switch this up and I hope everybody's listening.

I'm gonna flip it around just a little bit, and this is for women and men, and this is a really important one. How long? Same question, oral. We'll be right back.

Lauren, it's that time again, bikini. Addiction and how forward thinking they are. Now, I don't want to say that they are Darwin-ish in their thinking, but they do understand the theory of evolution so much so, you know, that graph to Homo sapien or whatever it's called. Yeah, they do the same thing with granny panties.

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We enjoy servicing you. But imagine feeling like you're constantly servicing someone for free. I love it, but that doesn't mean that my jaw doesn't get sore from talking, or that my hand isn't carpal tunneled from working that pin, or that my ass Isn't completely worn out from sitting here all day making content. Again, I love servicing you.

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Horsepower, our Vegas, Sarah, Larry, Moed, Attwerk, and couple in North. I have trauma with giving oral to women because I have found more times than not, it's something that their partner. does really well, that they really enjoy doing with their partner, but usually something that they don't want to go on for on and on and on and on. I mean, I know personally, I've been in a situation, we've been in situations where I've felt almost I should stop, walk over while he is buried inside of your crotch, tap him on the shoulder and say, hey man, you gave it your best.

We need you back at base camp. Like it's, it's time. I feel like that would be less insulting. I think that's part of the reason why I don't do it.

I feel like I'm insulting them, like, OK, that's enough that that it translates to you doing a bad job. How long do you want a stranger, ladies, to go down on you? OK, we have 4 people here. Anybody got an answer?

I mean, it depends on if it's a girl or a guy. If it's a girl, if it's a guy, if it's a guy, if it's a guy. So 2 minutes, 2 minutes, that's all they have. Yeah, I agree with her.

The truck by 2 minutes. We're, we're changing lanes. I, I, OK. Wait, what is, what is, what is your answer?

So I would prefer somebody spend a little more time, but I will absolutely tap out and let you know because I'm not, I'm not trying to kill you. All right, how much is a little bit of time? Is that 20 minutes? Probably in the lifestyle situation?

No, with my husband, sure, yes, of course, of course, yeah, but in a lifestyle situation, no, like 5, 10 minutes, 10 minutes, wow, seems like a lot. Well, it also depends on how high. I, I come faster when I'm high. Really slip into my DMs like as soon.

As soon as you can. I have so I have so many drugs, so many drugs. Same. Now, the, um, the, the opposite of this, and then I'm gonna, I'm gonna mute this party, but I would love to come back to that party.

I'd like to be with that party actually, um, as far as with guys, it's like how long? Infinity. That's the answer I know, but I also enjoy it infinity, you know, you assume, you know, sometimes I'll assume that all women love sucking cock the way you love sucking cock, but you know, recently we were with another couple who's just like. You could just tell she's just, she's just not into it.

So at some point it's my job to say, all right, you've, you've served your time. That's how I feel like it is. Sometimes I feel like people are paying their dues to move to the next base. I think for guys, I think 35, 45 minutes is fair.

I'm done. No, I, no, but I, I think, I think a good 4 to 5 minutes is, is ample, really, yeah, I mean, not for once and for all. Oh yeah, but just like one before you move sessions and then move on. So I was 2 in your mouth.

Yeah, well, that's 10 minutes. You just, you just, you just exponential keep out in time. So yeah, I would say rule of thumb is, is 5 minutes on either side, on either side of this. When you are ready to play, who do you focus on first?

You don't have an answer. We do. We prefer the more intermingled kind of more touches, um, option where it's not just paired off. No, he's just saying just to start.

Yeah, we've moved on from oral. This is exactly his answer. He would like to stay on oral for longer, um. But to get play started, um, I, I, I, my default is immediately going to the other guy, but staying physically close to everyone.

So I'm not going to pair off on the other corner of the room with the other male half. But that is my go to, like make out with the other guy. Um, and then hopefully you and the other girl are starting to make out in touch or whatever. A little bit of pair off, but then coming back together after 2.7 minutes.

2.7. We'll go write that down. We'll go write that down. We'll go into the book.

It's Richard, uh, I typically go in the corner and start masturbating. Yeah, I was gonna, I was, I was gonna say drag in a cup chair. That was gonna be the next sentence out of my mouth. I like to put two hands on.

No, like for real, I think we just usually, we usually do start pairing off to make out. Kissing is always like. The first. So true.

I'm 100% down with that. Yeah, we're kissers. We're big kissers. Is there anybody in this group right now who knows how to use their microphone button or raise their hand who has a no kissing rule?

Anybody in here who has a no kissing rule? Nobody. Nobody, or they are all advanced. Or wait, we definitely do not have a no kissing rule.

It's, it's probably my least favorite. Like, honestly, I'd rather do. Soft swap and no kissing. It's a big turn and I feel like the rule, I feel like it came from Pretty Woman starring Julia Roberts in the early 90s and it's not a great rule.

Like I think that it's just something that like new to the lifestyle couples feel like they need to have rules but don't know what rules they need to have, so they default to that one because it's the one you hear of most often. I totally agree with that actually. I agree with fuck Julia Roberts. I absolutely would.

100%. Yulia, what say you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'm back. I'm back.

I'm sorry, I had a little bit of trouble here. The first of all, uh, we used to have a no kiss rule very much in the beginning. Like, I don't know, maybe I didn't even know that Julia Roberts said that, fuck her, right? It's, it's really not a good thing to do.

Because it turns out each of us starts with kissing, and if we don't start with kissing, then everything else goes belly up. What changed your rule? What do you remember when it changed and what changed it? Yeah, I remember we were in Australia, we, we were with a couple and we had, uh, back then I had like 3 or 4 rules, and we broke all 3 rules in one day and it was the best night ever.

Good for you. That's what. And then I, and then I remember I woke up, like my hair's all messy. I had the best sex night ever, it was the best foursome for us at that time, it was like a long time ago.

And I said, fuck all of those rules, no rules. And we're pretty much going that way. Now, the rules basically are, how do we feel on a day. We are long-term couple, it's a bit easier for us because we can only.

Sense what other person feel just by looking, without the kissing it's turned off. And uh look, if somebody cannot kiss well, I'm fine not to kiss with them, but if the person kiss well, I can just orgasm on the kissing, and I'm not prepared to, to give it away. I agree with the no kissing rule on the spot, on the fly. Yeah, I don't like the way you kiss, we got a no kissing rule.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's, it's, it's so, and then it was another thing, I was trying to raise my hand, but you guys didn't see me. So, uh, with regard to, like, I just like to go back and just say that with regard to like, When you, when you say, if you have a, like, how do you start with the couples, maybe we're a little bit more confident in ourself in some ways, and another maybe not, but I, if, if the woman is receptive to me, and I know she likes me, she likes women in general, I prefer to play with the woman first and tease the man, because almost every man likes to see women teasing. It doesn't matter on their condition, mind, where they are, but if the, Two women starting to make up. No man can typically do anything else but to stare and get horny.

And to me, I feel that's the best way to get the party started. That's, it's personally my thing. I actually prefer not to go where I can to couple to couple, because then you kind of like separate straight away. And if I can keep everyone together, this is the best.

I think it's a, it's a, it's a good stand. To have it's not something that that Lauren, because you're gonna bring us into our next topic, which is Lauren, Lauren specifically lists herself by curious, by by by optional, by by so and, and listen, this is one of those rule of thumbs with your profile like make sure your, your preferences are clear. I mean, I've met some women out there listed as bi and they should be lesbians. I mean they really should just.

Just list yourself as a lesbian because it's, it's like we've met these women where it's like I can't tear and then there's just the two guys left hanging out. Yeah, and then that's, that's an awkward and that goes both ways like everybody needs to know what boundaries there are because it's, it's just this, this shifting thing. So make your profile really, really clear where you stand and it doesn't have to be with a label. It can be in.

The details of the profile itself. There's a giant spectrum out there of what people like and what people want, and people read between the lines, and they read the profiles. But if your profile reads black and white, it becomes really confusing. I would say rule of thumb that if you're OK with contact, put it in your profile.

If you don't want to be in the same room with another man, naked man, put it in your profile because it just winds up being. Yeah, because I really like double blowjobs and, and I don't want to make the guy feel uncomfortable if I'm like putting the cocks in my mouth or if there's a guy who's really, really into watching two women and he's kind of forcing, well, I want to see, I want to watch the women play. I'm like, well, well, my wife isn't really, I mean, she's, she likes it, but she's not like she has to feel the vibe, and I know like, OK, for 3 minutes. Yeah, I know you live on browsers and that's like your jam, but You know, Oh God, there was just a great conversation going on in the background here.

And I wanted everybody to be heard because I think that it needs to be. Well, we, we are fully bisexual, both of us, and we met up with another couple that purported to be both bisexual and really was not the wife was actually a lesbian and the male was actually. Quite straight. So it's very awkward.

Yeah, yeah, and that's, that's, that's one of the things that is, is really, really awkward when you run into those situations. We, we, we run into the situation as well where it's false advertising. The most common false advertising, the woman goes into the situation is very, very bisexual, and then she again performs her acts of service. For 5 minutes and then that's, that's the last time she's ever gone down on a girl for the next 5 years.

This is really for, for my girls out there who really, really like to get down with another chick. It's sort of like saying, hey, I'm gonna cook your favorite meal tonight, and then they go and they preheat the oven and they're like, all right, my husband's gonna finish up the meal. And you're like, no, no, no, that's not, that's not you cooking for me. That's, it's an easy sell when you're out there flirting.

It's like when you get down and dirty, you start to go, oh, this kind of isn't as exciting as I thought it would be, and that was not. Well, then it's like you start like making out with a girl and just like spending a lot of time and then you feel like, oh, is she not enjoying this? And I I was just letting myself go and you feel totally, oh, like, oh, what did I, I just revealed all these things about myself and now I feel stupid. And this is super important when you don't have a chance to read profiles like when you're in live meets, right?

Like you just meet somebody on the fly. So when someone asks you that question, what are you guys into, you know, you don't want to answer with a label, you should be a little bit clear. Don't say nothing at all. because then you wind up in a room and then you go, all right, I want to watch you two ladies go at it.

Well, he just, he just labeled you by, you know what I mean? Like he just with no information, just labeled you by without saying anything. So the next time that happens, Lauren, this is what I want you to do. The very next time someone says to you, Well, why don't we watch the ladies go at it?

I want you to say, yeah, but first I want to watch you suck my husband's cup. And then when he looks at you like you're crazy, say, what? You just made me buy. I, I made you buy.

I thought that's what we were doing. Same, same, right? Is that not what we're doing? No.

Oh, OK. I got it. I just, I was trying to get on board. I go down on her, you go down on him.

No, no. You do it. I'll go down on my knees like what are we doing that? I, I really love, love homoerotic situations, love them so much.

This is, let me tell you a story I didn't even tell you today. This is how gay I am and I don't even mean bi. I mean gay, straight up, straight up gay. So today I'm at the gym and it's not like I stare at guys at the gym and I'm like, I wanna fuck him.

It's not that, but I think even. In every man, there's, you look at a man and you find a guy's captivating for some reason. It's not like I want to fuck him, but you're just like, it's just drawing me in something. I'm doing an ab workout and I'm staring at this guy to my right.

I'm just looking at him like he just had tats and everything and it was just really well put together and in front of, yeah. Great ass. And literally straight in front of me, 10 ft cute, 20-something curly haired, beautiful girl struggling to hold up a weight and almost falling. He darts over.

I'm closer to this woman, darts over to help her, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm so gay. You're captivated by the men with the tats. I almost left. It did.

I was like, Oh my God, that was so bad. Like now she's looking at me like, Oh, the gay guy didn't help me. He's busy doing that. And then I was thinking the guy was like, Dude, so gay.

Like he probably was, probably was, right? Yeah. Next time just go to the gym wearing shorter and tighter shorts. Yeah, no, for real.

I mean, honestly, the only thing that I. I have in my brain that I know I'm not fully gay is that at no point after that did I get into his eyeline or his peripheral and start to feign that I was in fact having trouble lifting a weight or dropping something. Help me. I should have.

That would have been very. Would have worked and then just side-eyed that girl, bitch fuck out of my gym. Anyway, that I got a little sidetracked there about me being gay in the gym. Yeah, I be as bi as you actually are.

That's the rule of thumb. What say you? I just wanna say that it's not about, like, look, it's just if you see someone who is handsome, some people have just that it, right? So you can see the guy walks in the room and has it.

It's charisma, it's independence, it's um, You name it. It doesn't matter who you are, man or woman. I mean, I probably, women tend to do it much more often than the men, or at least more often than the men. I, I just through my life I've found that men find themselves a little bit more shy to do so, but it has really something more to do with being attracted to someone as a human body, because, because that's what we do, and that's why we're all here, we like human bodies and we want to have, this is so natural to us, it's we, yeah, and we wanna have something that we may not have.

Or we may want to have, most likely that guy had something, in my opinion, sexual is something different, but we're all attracted to bodies, sexy bodies, and if there is a sexy bodies, men, women, a transvestite, whatever, right? But it's sometimes it's just, just can be that certain something that's just like, I don't know. Look at that, yeah, a touch of cock. It's just, and then there's other times it's just not, just be confident.

Confidence is the true, the true sexy and honest with yourself and. Do you go into these situations, play sessions? How important is the orgasm? Because sometimes being too orgasm focused ruins the, it ruins the flow is sort of what I feel like if unless you're all like cheering for the same person, then it's different because I've been in that situation too where, you know, I'm doing tingly fingers and someone's making out and someone's fucking and we're all trying to get one person to come or something like that.

Yeah, that's, that's fun. But I mean, like from, from the. I'm talking about mostly this guy who's like, I'm going to do everything tonight to make you come. And it may be someone like you who's like, you just did everything you could to make it harder for me to come just by saying that.

Yeah, already I'm stressed out. Is there any guy in here that goes into these play sessions with, I have to conquer this orgasm mentality, because that's who I want to talk to. Sorry, the unmute button like goes to the bottom of your screen. You have to swipe up to find it.

And I did not know that. Uh, quite the opposite. It, Richard, I am terrified of coming too soon. My whole game is not coming for as long as possible, right?

And I would like, I don't really have a time limit. It's not like 20 minutes and I'm safe. It's like, uh, what if she's not done yet and I just have to keep fucking. I, but, but I'm, I'm, and as much as I love talking about you, I'm, I meant, are you focused on making her come?

Oh, absolutely. No, that's my whole goal. I don't enjoy it if she doesn't enjoy it. And, and what if it doesn't happen?

What if it doesn't happen? Have you ever been in the situation where it's just a woman who Just has a hard time coming all the time. Oh, she's going to, she's going to side eye me for saying this is she takes a long time, even with me and especially with new guys. It's devastating.

Like I don't want to say like I just, it just gives me low self-esteem on the nights that I can't finish her, and it shouldn't, and I understand that putting pressure on it puts pressure on her, which just makes it harder. It's a vicious cycle, Richard. Oh, I, I live here. Take a few.

Take a few rides around the block with Lauren. Yeah, I'm the exact same way. You know what we should do is we should trade wives for a while and then at the end of it we should go have a drink and be like, it's, it just, it just, it takes a long time and you really can't come. Yeah.

How are you with that mentality? How are you with strangers, uh, with strangers, honestly, it's a little less pressure. I feel like, and women, correct me if I'm wrong, I feel like you're less likely to come with somebody at a club than you are with your own partner, which kind of takes the pressure on me. Like I still.

Do my best. I still try and listen to your cues, but like I know the combination to lock. I'm still learning yours, and if I don't get it on the first try, I don't feel as bad about it. And also, I've got a vibrator.

I'm willing to go down after I finish in a condom. Like it, like I will get you there if you give me the time. Yeah, you should live here. I'm way lazier than that.

See, as far as not making women come, I've been training for this my entire life. That's how I feel. I get more insecure when I watch. Guys trying to find the combination to Lauren's box, which makes me not try to find the combination to strangers' boxes because to me, all I'm going to do is put more pressure on that woman to make her come.

And that, that, that to me is not something that I really want to, to do. What I try to do is go into a situation and what we try to do is go into a situation and make it the most fun, easy. memorable experience or one of that they've ever had. That's not so like, if you come, you come.

If you don't, you don't. If I don't, I don't like it's, it's more about what's happening in the process than the outcome of it. Can you hear me? Yeah, awesome.

So I would say when we were first, when we first started, and by the way, our first trip to desire, we took your workshop, and that was before we even really knew what the lifestyle was, um, but we, we quickly figured it out on. That trip. But I would say when we started, yes, I was focused on, oh my God, I have to make her calm. I have to make her happy.

And as we sort of progressed through it, and I talked to my wife about her experiences, I realized that every woman is very, very different in how they orgasm, what makes them orgasm. And I got so distracted by, is she going to come? Is she going to come? I wasn't just being myself in bed.

Um yeah. So I realized that I needed to get that specific goal out of my head and just make sure that whatever I'm doing, she's enjoying. I think that's, that's, I think the healthiest part. I mean, thank you for that.

So if you're going to make a rule of thumb for that, what would you say? The rule of thumb is, don't go in orgasm based, go in experience based. Like, I want this to be a great experience, not I want to make everybody come because we've met those, especially men. So many guys are like, well, I, I'll come later.

I'll come later. But every guy who walks through the door is like, No, you'll come now. You'll come now and you'll come multiple times, I will do it for you. Yeah, so it's like, well, that's, that doesn't seem fair at all, does it?

Yeah, that's very good. Yeah, all right, last one I did one before I unmuted Norse Asian. Hey, hey, good evening. Hey, hey, hey, uh, I, I wanna change gears a little bit.

I hope you don't mind, but this isn't a tax question, is it? It's related to the consumer price index, but the, uh, I just wanted to point out that the orgasm for the guys had made the comment of holding back. We've, we've had several experiences where guys have done that with, with my partner and ended up not being able to do it, uh, to, to orgasm, and that, that can play a significant psychological role on, on the woman if she is unable to make the guy orgasm. So, uh, we've taken the stance that just, just.

Go naturally, don't hold back, get it done. And then you can do what said and break out the vibrator or whatever, but just my two cents. The only difference I see with women and men is, is the timing of the men. So it's like, it sort of has to happen or want it to happen at the end of the session or at the climax of the session.

Because everyone thinks we're multiple comers and some of us are, even if you're not, if even if you come at any point. You know, men just get sleepy. Well, I mean, we want a sandwich and go to sleep, but it's like it does. There is a refraction period that usually unless we meet those aliens every once in a while who are like, I can go again, Jack.

Um, so I think that the, the rule of thumb is, is just go in for the experience and forget about the the orgasm and if it's a Byproduct of the experience, it's a win for everybody. All right, so you have a play session with a couple, whether it was good or bad. What is for the post message hookup 24 hours, 48 hours? What is the default, uh, like, hey, we had a good time, or, yeah, thanks.

Send us a video. I learned a lot. I really enjoyed you squirting on my face. Yes, get tested.

Hello. Proper etiquette is to give a high five and say good game immediately. I don't think. Can we do chest bumps next time?

Absolutely. I'm looking forward to it. I don't think high fives in the middle of the activity is ever really acceptable. It's so after your high fives and you go back to your homes, it feels it feels like an X-rated Mentos commercial.

That's what it feels like. We usually text the next morning and be like, hey, it was fun, but desperate. I would say at least 24 hours. Do we have a different rule of thumb for people we enjoyed being with and people we didn't quite enjoy being with?

Yeah, I would say the rule of thumb is no more than 24 hours whether you like them or not. Whether you like them or not. Yeah, does that make sense? Yeah, like whether you enjoy, if you enjoyed it, then it can be less than that.

But if you, in order to not be rude after a play session, you should not wait longer than 24 hours to respond to a cordial message. All right, good night, everybody, and thank you so much for being a patreon. We appreciate it so much. Also, don't forget to go to Room 77 Life and book the Sin Takeover in October of this year or flirt in February of 2027.

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