Ep. 72: Almost Breaking My Junk In Half

Hello everybody and we are so sorry for being late. Uh, we know our podcast is behind and that is because we are inept and unprofessional and kind of dumb. Now if you can't appreciate that kind of honesty, then you should go listen to another podcast. Now there's only 2 things you need to know about listening to this podcast.

This is a follow-up story from the last podcast, so if you haven't heard that one, you should go listen. Number 2, we tried to redeem ourselves so bad, we both broke our genitalia in half. True story. All right, Lauren, we are back.

I mean, it feels like it's been 3 years. How are you, by the way? I'm really good. I'm, it's getting hot here and I've been jumping in the pool and I am actually loving that.

Guess who still has not been in the pool? Richard. Richard, Richard refuses to go into the pool. You're missing out.

I have a shower. Oh, I can use that, you know, someday I'll have my own little pool. For now, I wouldn't mind getting a baby pool. And just ending up inside the house and having my own little indoor pool.

We can do that. I think the thing is here, we don't have a bathtub and I believe this is what I believe. I believe in the United States of the Americas, it is code to have at least one bathtub inside of your home, inside of the states of the United of Americas, but here in the gustados Mexicanos. I believe in Mexico you do not have to have a tub.

I don't even think you have to have a bathroom. I was gonna say probably just like as long as you have something hanging from the ceiling. Yeah, there's just not a lot of codes here. I mean, we have seen bathrooms that have been built like there's a 4 ft drop out of your shower.

That doesn't seem safe at all. Well, I, I remember we were trying to do something, a toilet. It is supposed to be X amount of inches, 12 inches, 12 inches from a wall. Yeah, yeah, and at the very least 12 inches.

I don't know how you know this, but, and I was like, well, it's certainly not that it's like 6 inches, like your, your, your leg gets caught in between, shimmy around it. You can't shut a door. Uh, yeah, it's very different here, but, uh, so that explains one of the reasons there is no. tub in here, so I think a baby pool is not really out of the question.

I'll pick one up at the grocery store because they have them there. One time, true story, Richard had a hemorrhoid, not to get too personal, and we bought what we call a butt tub, which was just a little tub where I had to put my butt in there and just soak it with a little bit of salt and warm water. It was like I was brining myself. And um I looked so ridiculous and you felt so bad for me you took a photo.

Yeah, that's how bad I have to take this photo of you uh in your butt tub because you're watching TV like it was a red. What else can you do? Oh my God, it's so funny. I keep it actually on my phone because when I'm scrolling just to find something to post on social media, I'll scroll past it sometimes and I just chuckled.

Oh, you saved it. Oh yeah, I still have it. Good, good. That's why I take photos like that because they make me smile.

Great, great, great. But um. You look great. Oh, stop it.

OK, um, so, uh, this is we're doing something a little bit in order, which is really rare now. In the last episode we had talked about this perfect host couple, right, and I think. Failed miserably. Yeah, you did fail.

I think I got a minus. Someone wrote in and they're very unhappy about that. We have, we have strict, we have strict, a strict grading system, and I had promised a story of redemption. Because we all like them, we do.

It's what we watch most on the Netflix. But before we get to that story, I want to ask all of our listeners to please, we started our little TikTok. So if you want to watch us, mostly fresh material of you and I just bantering about really meaningless crap, mostly about being naked and bulges and. Go over to TikTok.

Where do they go? At room 77 podcast. It's very consistent. Yeah, we like to keep it that way.

Make sure to follow us, like us, share us, lick the screen, do whatever it is you do over there. Watch us do our thing over there. We are bringing you, in fact, this time a story of redemption. They missed us so much, so much.

That these two beauties got back on a plane and came back to get more of that limp penis. Are you? You know, the international the sign, do that. Is it the flashing the boob sign?

What is the sign? No, this is I'm choking. Oh, but I'm super in a lot of equipment, but I do have my phone. I'll call 911.

I'm sure someone will be here, so. No one's showing up, um, so a story of redemption. Yeah, so they got on a plane and they came down to see us again. Yeah, they, they, they wanted me to make it right.

I mean, that's, that's pretty much how I took it because I mean, let's face it, they couldn't get enough. They really couldn't, but they, they had a hard time sleeping at night without giving you that space to redeem yourself. Pause that they have a hard time sleeping, period. Alright, so now it's our time to play hostesses with the hostesses.

God, it makes me so nervous because I know it's not a strong suit of mine. Well, I suck and you suck, so, uh, we're gonna suck at this, but we try hard and we really do. Yeah, first things first, they are, they're really obviously. We didn't take into account they're gonna be they're the best hosts, so they're gonna be the best guests.

They come in and they're like, we don't need anything. I'm like, well, you're sleeping outside, they're like, we're cool with that. I mean, you just can't even, you can't even rub them the next way. They brought Muchacho a toy that was first.

They brought him, uh, a little pineapple. Of course it was a pineapple. She's perfect. And by the way, if anybody wants to know, Muchacho constantly carries it upside down.

The, the thing that worked out is we didn't work out is we're like, hey, um, the room you're staying in, I was wondering if you're gonna bring this up is um under construction. The day you're coming here, so it's, uh, timing wise. I'm so sorry. They're like, it's all right.

You just can't shake them. You can't fluster them. I wish I had some like whatever vitamin that is. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I mean, I have come to an absolute conclusion as this ends, uh, as far as redemption, as far as what who I am as a person.

I mean they've really made me dig deep. He had a therapy session. Yeah, I mean, I, I just know who I am as a person, more who I am as a person. The thing that, that they do correctly in the lifestyle, and these are not people who are huge lifestyle people, and I mean they, and I mean this, they just landed on a swing site and I shit you not yesterday, and that is because of our bad influence.

I think they really live sporadically. ically through just finding people that they find it's not something that they really go out and are obsessed with, but that's how I would describe them, right? They're not, uh, they're not like hunters like, yeah, for sure. I was going to use the word hunting, even though they, they do hunt for vanillas in their own adorable way.

They're not your typical, we're going to go to every lifestyle and every takeover, every lifestyle party, every takeover, every club, every, every everything. They really do sort of march to their own drummer, but there are a lot of things that they do that people who are who are starting out and who have been in in the lifestyle should kind of take notice of what they do and how they do it, because of the ease that they bring. There's also some things that they are inherently that if there are couples out there that are like them, they should know, scare the shit out of some people. Well, I like that they definitely, they don't really host a lot.

So they treat it very socially. Like if they, if they're going to go do something, they look for a party or what are the clubs doing. So they make it like almost like a date night. Like they're going to go to this club and see what happens.

So they're not really looking for people to come over or to go on a, on a meet up with and see if they like them to come over because it's just not really how they do it. And I think that makes a big difference on what they do versus, you know, how we were in LA. We were like on the site looking for people, then you go have a drink and it's just, it's, it's a different approach. I liked it.

I wish they worked for me in a way. We were walking down the beach the other day. We live near a bunch of hotels. We're walking down the beach and we see this hot 22 year old sitting on a chair.

And because we're hoary and disgusting, we immediately start flirting with him. He's literally all by himself sitting on the beach. Well, Muchacho walked over. Yeah, Muchacho, who's here doing his job of sleeping, walked over to him, just laid, laid right down.

I mean, best, best wingman ever. And uh so we walk over to him and he's from the middle of the US somewhere. We're like, oh God, we could tear this boy to shreds. And we come to.

Find out he's with 1212, 1414, 22 year olds. And I'm like, oh God, where are our friends when we need them because we could just send them into that crowd and just let them loose. Because I hear that. I'm like, I can't hang with that.

I can barely talk to this one in terms of, you know, thank God Muchacha was there to have something like a Kickstarter. But yeah, it was mean energy. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm not, I can't do.

22 year old energy. No, you're up at you're gonna be a senior frogs and Coco Bongo. No, I'm looking at them. I'm thinking energy.

That's what, uh, rope and duct tape's for because I don't have, I don't have that kind of energy, you know what I mean? Hell no. Yeah, but, but, but the couple would, they would put them to bed, I promise you that, and they would outdrink them too, probably they would outdrink them and be like, why are you guys going to bed so early. I, I guarantee it.

The sexiness of it sort of starts in the, in the evening. Again, no pressure. Everything is very, very social with them. And I am, thank God, feeling really horny and I'm not as tired as I was last time.

So I know that I'm going to do kind of OK. Never gonna do great. I know you always say that you're like we're average. I'm average.

We are. It's just it is what it is. You're gonna get an average lay with me, right? I'm gonna, I'm gonna have sex with you and I'm gonna stare at you looking for some.

Some sign of content, right? We should have one of those like hospital signs with the emoji with the pain emoji, yeah, right? I'm just looking for any, any sign of discomfort, any sign of content for me is a win. Right, you exhale.

I will consider that an orgasm. That's how easy I am. Oh God, that's great. Oh, I'm gonna come then you came.

I'm coming. Wait, what? Just breathing. Yeah, I'm done.

What's the sandwich? So she brought a lot of sexy clothing, right? I mean, they literally beat to their own drum, and I loved it because, you know, we all get in our routines and they love to dance. We had the music on.

We had, they brought lights, tricked out the whole house with lights and lasers and like so cute. They're like a band on tour with no bus, just a backpack. We're gonna light this shit. All right, this is what I need.

She was, she was like moving outlets like she was looking at it like I love that. She immediately felt at home in this house. There was like one time I turned around and she's pouring herself a drink and making. Shots and grabbing.

I was like, I love that you're at home in my kitchen because as a bad hostess, which I get so stressed out about being a hostess that immediately put me at ease so that I was like, woohoo. All right, let's dance in your lasers and all that stuff. She was like, I brought a bunch of lingerie and let's take photos. I'm like, great, because I never take a photo.

Uh, he was taking pictures. You took some pictures, chill, you know, like. And I'm trying not to drink a lot because the last thing I want is for my penis to fall asleep and have a repeat of what happens last time and he's uh he's a shot pusher like uh listen, if he ever lose, I, I don't really know what he does for a living, but if he ever loses his job, drug dealing would be his jam because like when it comes to pusher, I think he, I think he could probably start his own cartel if, if he needed to if he needed. Yeah, because he is quite the pusher.

So he was pushing me all night. I'm like, I'm not doing it, man. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.

So another thing that they brought with them that was really cool was this wax candle. You light it, let it burn, and then it has a little pore thing and you pour it on and start massaging. Brilliant. Love it.

So we, we get that out and we, and I had never experienced it before. I, I don't know. I liked it. I'm glad they left it behind.

They left it behind. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I meant to, I, I think it was just because it was on our nightstand. She, we started doing the massages and all right, we'll be right back.

Lauren, bikini addiction is an addiction of bikinis, something that we don't have a twelve-step program for, nor do you need one, really. You want to live with this addiction. This is one of the healthiest addictions you can have. This is.

Equal to going to the gym, equal to eating, uh, healthy, healthy food if you practice good energy, feng shui, which I believe is the next line of bikinis that they're putting out, it is a bikini that fits on your body that gives you positive energy. What will happen is, is you will send a picture of your completely nude body. And I will tell you what position to put that bikini on in. I will feng shui your body, OK?

So if you want me to feng you. Go to the new line of feng shui Bikini Addiction bikinis. I want you to go to Bikini Addiction and look for Feng Shui bikinis. If you don't find it, just keep refreshing.

Or buy something using room 77 as your promo code and then it will show up because that's how you get the feng shui bikini line to show up. Richard will no longer be working for the marketing division of Bikini Addiction.com. So if you want to save 10%, go to bikini Addiction.com and use our promo code, get your Turky bottoms, get your scrunch backs, promo code room 77, save 10% and support us at the same time. Again, here's how you do it.

Go to bikini Addiction.com, use room 77 as your promo code. You get 10% off that code. Then you go back a secret sexual show up called feng shui line. Then send me nude pictures of yourself.

I will tell you how to put a feng shui bikini on you. If you don't see that box show up or if you're looking for something special that may have been out of stock, AKA perky bottoms in the pineapple, you can go there now because they're back. There are 7 styles. Of perky that are on Bikini Addiction.

So if you need to cover more because maybe that would be something that you suggest if you need to cover more of your ass for that feng shui feel, I will let you know. But again, if that category doesn't show up, try resetting your browser. Turn your device on and off again. Try using a VPN, your cache.

Make sure that you are not in North Korea. But the feng shui line will be coming soon. Also, the owners of Bikini Addiction will be coming for my life for pitching all of this. Now back to the show.

One of my biggest turn ons is giving an oil massage to a person lying on a bed. I, I love it. I love getting oiled up and massaging with you another person. If you ask me to do that for a couple hours, I will do it for, I will get all oiled up and I will do it all night long.

It's a turn on for you like you always get hard, especially if the person's really into it. Everybody took their turn. Uh, she went last, right? She was, they're funny because they're very directive, like both of them.

They're very alpha and they're very, you know, we had said this before in the, in the last one is they take charge and they tell us where to go. We're like, great. So even in the bedroom, they're like, OK, who's first? Richard, you first.

And then it was me and then it was him and then she was like, I'm last. Like, OK, great. Well, she did a little sneaky thing there. She was last, which we all did face down.

No one got face up except for who was last. She did face up. She did. She doubled down, but I was fine with that because I was fine with that too.

I mean, I just love massaging and I loved her body and. Her skin, yeah, and that's when things started to get really hot and steamy, and that's when the play really, really starts and starts to go to, to the next level. But yeah, we brought up the motor bunny, and that was me trying to be perfect host. I was like, let's do that we brought out the motor bunny.

That's actually one of the ways we got started, and she was looking at it like. Yeah, she's a little intimidated. She was looking at it like, like. Like your friends take you to do something and you know it's wrong and she's the friends that's like you try it first.

And you try it, and then if you don't die, I'll do it. I'll try it. Yeah, so she did. She made me go first.

So you went first. Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of people feel like this, that you, you can't be on a motor bunny for very long. You, you have to, and of course, he had the control, so he's like. Yeah, he, he's like 2 seconds.

He's like started low and then, you know, his attention span is just like and 100 and I'm like, OK, well, I don't want to be numb. Yeah, it's, it's such a guy mentality that's like you have vibration mode from one. To 10, you start the vibration out slowly and you're like, I started on a 1 and then maximum come. That's how it works, right?

Well, that's what he was looking at me like you're gonna come and score it everywhere. I'm, and I'm just looking like you're making a smoothie with my internal organs. That's what's happening. Oh God.

Yeah, it's, uh, and she, OK, so she's a multiple comer. She's, I think maybe, and with me, it's like, you wouldn't want to do this before a playlisting starts because then, you know, you get dragging Lauren, who's, if I come really hard, I'm sort of like a guy where I'm exhausted. If I hit that one half orgasm, then I get, can get the role. Ones, but it takes a while to get there.

And when you put me on a spot like where I'm sitting on something like a motor bunny and everyone was just staring at me, that's way too much pressure. I was like, OK, I need to get off. And that's one of the things about the motor bunny or the the sibian, whatever you're using at that point. There is a, there is a component of it that everybody's just sort of staring at you, right?

Like you went to the bar. You're like, who's gonna ride the bull next? And everybody's staring at you, so there's a component of it that doesn't allow you to completely relax. There is not a lot for people to do.

There was one point where she was so excited. He was because he cranked it up to like 11. He's like, Go, go stick your cock in her mouth. Go stick your cock in her mouth.

And I was like, she's gonna bite it off. Go stick your cock in her mouth. I go over and she bit down on my cock and I'm like, What the fuck? And then he stopped and after she stopped she's like, I almost bit his cock off.

I'm like, yeah. Because you have it up to fucking level 10. It's like she's being electrocuted. That's why they put, that's why they put leather straps in their mouths.

We've all seen. It's like she's having a seizure. Who would say she's having a seizure? Put your cock in her mouth.

It's the safest place for it. So it was like you put your cock in her mouth so she couldn't even. I'm busy with the controls. It was so into it.

It was like it wasn't directly through his cock that knob on that thing, them both being alphas, usually in the dynamics of a couple, there's usually one that's very for sort of, uh, there's the dominant and then there's, there's the, the sub, right? It's sort of especially in the bed. Room. It's not like there's both people who are like, I want this.

Yeah, these two are, are both very, very, very secure people, and they both work the same way in the bedroom, which for someone like me can be very intimidating, right? Bless your heart. I just blessed your heart. Sorry.

Well, it is because it's like I, I don't, I don't know how to say it like it's like, uh, I need some sort of weakness. I need some sort of room to, to have some power. I need some, some crevice to crawl into where I am in some control, and, and I'll get into a little bit of this. Basically, at this point, my goal is to fuck because that's what I did not get to do, but I am hard and I'm ready.

And he immediately starts fucking you. Honestly, I could watch him have sex with you all night because he's got such a great cock. He's got such a great rhythm. Uh, she enjoys it.

He enjoys it. I could watch it all night and it really turns me on. So then it's my turn, right? So I politely ask, may I fuck you please.

And she says yes. So then this is what happens to me. Now if you are the listener of the podcast, you know that Richard has a fear. What is it?

Yes, you are correct, breaking my penis. So it's breaking my penis and it is going reverse cow cowgirl or being on top of my penis and riding me like you're bucking a bronco. uh, I say what do you, what do you like best? and she says, can I ride you?

and my brain goes, uh oh, I know you're a strong personality and riding on top. I know how this is going so I'm already putting on the condom. And I'm thinking, 00 all right just control control her hips, Richard, that you know what you gotta do in this situation. This is not your first rodeo forgive the pun, this is not your first rodeo just control those hips control those hips, right?

So she climbs on top of me, she puts my swollen cock inside of her dripping wet vagina. Uh, I slide into her and she grabs my hands and pins them. On the headboard. Oh shit, right, and I'm watching you and I'm seeing your face, right, panic, and then she starts bouncing up and down on me, bouncing up and down on me like I'm a hobby horse.

What were those that thing that you used to do, uh, that ball thing, that ball thing when we were kids and used to jump up and down on it really hard. Right now there's just sheer panic, so I start, I start. Trying to escape from her, right? Like I'm like I'm trying to run away from a cop who's trying to cuff me at this point, and I'm trying to get, and she grabs tighter and she's like, Where do you think you're going?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Like, it's not, I'm not doing like a play thing. I'm actually, I'm actually I kind of want my hands free at this point. I'm watching all of this go on your face, right?

And then I let it go a little bit. I'm like. And then I go a little bit and she goes a little bit harder, and then I, I sort of feel my dick bend a little bit and I'm, and I'm like, enough, get off of me. No, I can't.

I can't. So then I have to have the conversation with her that I'm like, well, she had to let go of your hands so she can grab it and put it. Well, I pulled them away. I pulled them out and put it back in.

I was like, Oh, I think, I think that's gonna put the heart on down. For a second you might as well, of course it did. Yeah, and listen again, this is why I'm terrible in bed and he's looking at me like, what's wrong with you? Well, first of all, you're like, listen, there's a difference here.

Like something like your cock, it's girthy. It's, it's sort of juicy and it's straight up fat, straight fat cock, I think you called it a. Fire hydrant fire hydrant cock. Uh, I know another gentleman like this, also my hero.

I love him. I want their cocks. That's what I want. If I could trade with them, I would.

If I, if someone told me if you murder them, you will get their cops. I would consider murdering them. That's how much I want their cocks. I love them as people, but I love them dearly, but it might be worth it.

So you're like, in contrast, my cock is not, yeah, you were like, yours is fire hydrant, mine is curved, not as girthy, which women hate. It's just, it's longer but we're talking about so when you're sitting on it, you can't sit and bounce up and down. It bends, yeah, it bends towards your face like so if you were masturbating, you could just come right in your mouth if you want to bends like this, which is. Great, which is, is cool sometimes, right?

Because when you are, when you get, when you are in the right position, right, and you have that, I can't do it just like in bed, I can't get in the right position. When you're in bed and it's in the right position, you can tap, you can tap up with a, with a straight one, you're sort of like this, right? But when you have that little curve, you get to, you get to tap up and. Everybody knows that that motion is the thing that usually makes the G-spot right, or the G-spot.

We don't still don't know if the G-spot is real, but so you're like, OK, great, take a break, and I'm going to explain to you the aerodynamics of how you would have to be riding my cock, and she's just like, All right, got it. So I can't sit up and down. So I got to bend forward. I'm going to do more of this like coming towards your face.

But I'm still going to bounce up and down and you're like, yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, Mr. Sex Olympia, he's a strong guy. He's a strong guy, basically is again alpha taking control.

I'm, he's literally holding me off the bed and just fucking me, which I love. You, you do that to me. I love when I'm just kind of hovering shaking because my muscles are giving in. Oh, I mean, he was using it like a rag doll.

That's what I, I love. One of my favorite moments was you sitting on top of him because you were riding him on top, right? And there was this moment when you first started, you, it was the, it was the first point that you were starting to have sex with him and you were putting him inside of you. You were just sitting on top and it was difficult for you to.

Put him inside of you. Yeah, I have to go really, really slow. Oh my God, you're so funny. I know because I can hear you behind me and it really turns me on.

I'm glad you're so vocal about I mean, I'm just watching him. I'm just watching your tiny little body sitting on sitting on him and I'm just seeing him like concentrate, trying to get that thing inside of your tiny little hole. And I'm just like watching you slowly sit down on it and you're like, you're just trying to sit on it. And I'm like, oh my God, there's fucking heaven.

I'm like baby fucks, baby fucks, teeny tiny baby fucks, and then I get a little deeper and then I get a little deeper well, he, he, he takes you and he's basically just, and I'm taking all of it. Oh my God, and I know he's destroying your fragile little vagina at this point because. You had just had a gang bang, which we will get to in another episode. You had just had a gang bang with 6 guys, equally as hot.

So your vagina is still fragile. Also, side note, this is the 2nd time I was treated like a bitch in 1 month. Also in the gang bang story. Now I'm watching him do this to you now from a guy's point of view, what happens is this is remember a story of redemption.

And you immediately want a guy like me, I start thinking, I mean this is like in a film I would slowly start to dolly in on my face right into my eyes looking at it and I wouldn't even have to say a word but you know my thoughts are I can't do that to your wife. I don't have the capabilities. I'm not trained like you are. I am not a Jedi and I cannot do those things that I am witnessing you do.

I thank you, but, but your cock is different. I want you like that's why I'm trying to the difference. It's just the stamina and the, the, the thing and power of the thrust, right? Little lady says, come on, let me do a reverse cowgirl on you, and I said to her.

I don't trust you. So she's like, trust me. I'm like, all right, so she starts reverse cowgirling. She's like, I know how to do it.

She starts going, she starts going, and I'm like holding her a little bit. Bitch got out of control again. I was like, Stop. Stop it.

Get off. Throw a flag. I'm trying to throw a flag for you. She turned over and.

Started laughing. She's like, I did go a little too far. I did. I felt it.

I felt it on that one. And then she, she even turned to her husband. She was like, I did. I felt it.

I felt it, that one. I felt it, right? So, so you are, you get to a point where you, you're broken, your vagina is broken in half. I think it's time for my my internals to take a rest and I'm just going to come with my vibrator watching this nastiness y'all start spit roasting, which is my favorite.

Well, hold on, this is how horrible of a husband I am and this is. What everybody should know about men, especially women, how sex and drugs are almost the same. You're borderline in pain, and you're sitting next to him and his penis and me and, and you're like kind of in pain, and me and him are like. Come on, come on.

Just a little more lube. You can do it. You are, you both are like you're kind of egging each other on like, come on baby, come on baby, you can sit on it one more time. Come on, can't hurt that bad.

There's a part of me that does love the pain. Like there is definitely like I, there is a masochistic, I don't know which. When it is, but I do love paint. There is something about that that is very true for me.

So I start to negotiate with myself and I'm like, well, maybe I do. Maybe I can go one more time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is where you're lucky that you have a husband that loves you because I start to hear myself, right? And I start to say it and I go, what are you doing?

Stop it. No, no, no, no, no. And then I say, honey, no, no, no, no, no, I think you should stop. Just stop, just stop because this is, what are you doing to your wife?

This is horrible. This is horrible. She's in pain and I know that if I keep asking, you are going to do it, you will do it. You will do it for me.

I will. I know you will. I'll do it for you, but it's also like I, I will venture down that pain. Road because it's, it is enjoyable in a twisted way.

It's like the same reason like I'll get Botox and filler with no numbing cream, but then you will also pay for it for the next 3 days after it's over. Yeah, sorry babe, my vagina's broken. You can masturbate if you want. Like that's what happens.

I was literally straddling an ice pack for 2 days, so, so hot. So you take a, you take a break and then we start to spit roast her, which was really, really hot, uh, she was in the middle of that. Now this is where I come to a point where I had to tell her that she is on my no fly list anymore. Which I love.

I think you should trademark that. Because, because she was, while she was being spit roast, right? I'm sitting there and again we'll go, we'll go into what happened at the gang bang because this relates to what happened at the gang bang. She's, I don't know who was, who was having sex with who at this point because I'm doing her doggy style, but at some point she's basically power bottoming me, right?

So explain power bottom for people who don't have a power bottom, uh, especially in the in the homosexual or gay world is a bottom, a bottom is a guy who receives but does a power bottom is is a receiver but does all the work, so they are in control and they do all the work. So power bottom basically would be someone who is in a position of receiving but still doing all the work. They're in control. They're even though they're receiving, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it would be almost like if a woman riding you cow cowgirl or a reverse cowgirl, and she's squatting with her legs up and down, you're not moving your hips, she's power bottoming you basically. You're starfishing, right? So she's a doggy power bottoming me to the point where she always breaks my dick again. Unbelievable.

I'm like, what the actual. It's not even the position anymore. It's just that she's a wild one. She's wild, right?

She's just wild. She needs people who are the caliber of her husband and up anyway, so she does it again. So she does it again, and I was like, that's it. You're on my no-fly list.

I, I just can't. I don't trust you. And I was waiting for you to get close to coming and to come all over her face. That's what I wanted.

I wanted that to just, well, that, that didn't happen. Because they, they like to play for hours and hours and hours. And then I just get too tired because I'm old. I wanted you there and involved with even though I was like orally and masturbating, but my vagina was out.

So you felt awkward. I kind of wanted you involved. Like it was, I wanted to have sex with you more. I wanted to, I didn't get to have sex with you enough.

And he already ruined you, asshole. Oh man, I'd watch it again. That's funny because the next day y'all were like, Well, your vagina is broken, but we could do anal. Yeah, right?

I mean, that's the, that's the logical solution. All right, well, in conclusion of all of this, I this time. I am giving you, I am giving you an A+. I know last time I gave you a minus, uh, the listener wrote in and they were very upset, but I am giving you an A+ this time so we don't get letters.

I would have been fine with a B+ because I still think I have room for improvement. I, however, this time did get a. But the B stands for bitch. Because I was just made a bitch.

All right, Lauren, we interrupt this really interesting story to talk about becoming a member and a supporter of Room 77 podcast. It is really important that we are able to live this life of luxury that we've been living for so long now. The truth of the matter is we're out of furs. I'm down to 125 pairs of sneakers.

The Maybach is broke, the DeLorean is in the shop. Does anybody even have DeLoreans anymore? Uh, I don't know. That's why it's in the shop.

You can't find parts for them. There's no parts. You have to go to the future to get them. We need your support more than ever, Lauren.

Tell them all the things that they get over at Patreon.com. They get to tell about the Telegram, the OnlyFans. Um, you get that and you get that warm fuzzy feeling for supporting us. There's porn associated with it that we are going to be putting up on a private site for now.

It's gonna be up on our new OnlyFans just for Patreons that will host all of it. You get free a month or a week, depending on if you sign up for the big bucks. You sign up for a year, we'll give you a free hat. There's the Telegram chat, which is the best of all.

Uh, sign up for as little as $5 and head on over to the chat. There's uh over 150 people in there and it just blows up so much that it's so fun sharing dirty pictures and just talking and laughing. We've really made lots of friends in there. It's really kind of cool.

Who are the people who did sign up and looked at all of our junk this month? You can go to our website room 77life.com or patreon.com/room77. So thank you to Carrie, David, Casey, Fun, Curious KT, LGXTC, Tracy and Will, Andrew and Silver Fox 71 and J and S. Just got a message from Silver Fox, very, very thankful for us, and I just want to say a special thank you for thanking us on top of the thank you.

And also I know it's not the Patreon section, but a tiny little shout out to Mr. H over at the Bed Hoppers podcast for coming over here and giving me a BJ. Wait, wrong list. He actually gave me some really good advice for our sound over here and helped me out a whole lot.

So thank you, Mr. H. I appreciate it. I sound so much better.

Sometimes I just come out here at night, I record myself, I just read to myself, and then I listen to it back. So thank you, Mr. H. Bed hoppers.

It's, it's not a story of redemption. She came back and just made me her bitch. I tried and I, I really wonder, and this is a question for you, like what kind of guy would it take her to be like, you, sir, are too much for me. I can't even imagine.

I can't imagine, you know, that hockey guy, it'd have to be someone like what was that guy in the mountain in Game. Of Thrones. Someone like, I feel like that it's just just ginormous person that can pin her down and because she's strong and and actually keep her pinned, I think would be maybe the only solution, but she has to, there has to be some sort of straps or something. She's a strong one, a wiggly one.

I feel like she could wiggle out. Oh God, they are a hoot. I love them dearly. I really enjoyed having them in our home.

They're welcome back anytime. Again, I think they should write a book on how to be the perfect guest. Yeah, they really should. Uh, they are welcome back here.

I am definitely getting a stand-in. I will try to find somebody. I will, I will, I will try to get somebody to stand in for me to be like, they can call them Richard. It doesn't matter.

I'll hire the person who'll be my sexual stand-in. Well, maybe we. Maybe we get a strap on, but you wear the strap on, and but it's just a straight cock. That doesn't sound that fun for me.

Well, then you can fuck. I'll be laying down and then she could be doggy. You could be actually fucking me and you're underneath milking me like a cow. No, you could be fucking me with your real penis and fucking her.

Oh my God, this is so much worse. Or you can wear the strap on backwards and then she could ride you from the back and you can be fucking coordinated. You don't have to do anything. That's the point, you know what I'll do.

She'll be power bottling. No, I'll just strap the motor buddy to my belly. Call it a day. I'll just be like, hey, get blindfolded.

I've really practiced a lot. You're gonna hear a little bit of buzzing. I'll strap that thing. I'll hook up a, I'll strap it with a vest.

Yeah, that's like a roller coastery vest, I think, and we'll get that hook. In fact, that's gonna be one of my costumes at the event. That's your 0 fucks. My 0 fox costume.

Shit, we need to make it cordless. I am the motor bunny. You know what, this isn't a bad idea. No, it's not.

I'm gonna get you some buddy ears. Yeah, you know what? Call my friends. How can we strap this thing on me?

We just need to get it like a, a battery pack or something. I don't know how to make it. Thank you, uh, and, uh, that's about it. Then the next one where we'll talk about the gang bang and me being a bitch again.

I should just be in prison. That's how bad this is. All right, Machacha, well done. He didn't even open his eyes.

We came to party. Alright Lauren, that is about it. My body is falling apart and I would be remissed if I didn't bring up Sensation coming in October, which is sold out, but here's the caveat let's say you're a person on a budget. Let's say Richard, Lauren, I don't have that much cash, man.

I, I wanna go. I wanna get naked with you. I wanna eat all that food. I wanna drink all that drink, maybe.

Good news. Good news. You could go for as low as starting at $1500. What did I say?

$1500. That's for 5 days. Is it 5 days? 5 nights, 5 nights of all of that.

But wait, there's more. Oh my God, we're throwing in kitchen knives. I mean, I mean, I will throw in kitchen knife, but we, we really won't. There really isn't more.

But if you want to, uh, starting at $1500 in Isla Mujeres, Mexico, October 17th through the 22nd, no, how do they get in touch with us? What would be best? Go to room 77life.com and click contact and use the contact form and reach out to us and put in the note section, Hey Lauren, I'm a cheap date, and we'll tell you how to get there cheap and efficiently and how you can hang out with us just on a final note. Really good news or scary news or exciting news in the in the drug world which we all love to hear about.

There is a something on the precipice, the FDA of maybe possibly approving a drug for it's like a morning after pill and a friend sent us this and said, hey, uh, I know you guys like to bareback it, which, which is true and not true at the same time. I, I just want to bear. Back it all the time. I'm just getting to that point in my life where I just wanna, I know it's, it's, it's wrong to say, and to everybody, to each and their own, yes, it is safe sex is important.

STIs are running rampant right now. They are spiking. They're going through the roof right now, not as much as when COVID was happening, but they're going through the roof right now. This is one of the reasons that they're thinking about approving this drug, so we are not, uh, saying that you should not have unprotected sex.

I'm just saying I don't really value my life. Oh God. So, and I think it feels good. So, um, but they are thinking about taking, uh, doxicillin, is that how you say it?

Doxycycline, doxycycline, I think it's called doxed, Doxed, Doxed, doxed, Doxmex, dox doxy, doxy, doxy, that's what they'll be called on the street. You got some doxy. You got some doxies anyway, you'll take this and, uh, up to 72 hours, you will rid yourself of any possible STIs that you got from your dirty partner. Oh my God, the thing is effective.

Up to 75% of the participants that took it against gonorrhea, syphilis, and I don't know, something else, but still doesn't get rid of, of the HIV, you know. Now the problem with this is, as exciting as it is, I was like, yo, go get me, go get me a bag of that. An instance you had told me when I brought this up to you, this person sent this, this article, and thank you, it changed my life. Um, I brought it up to you and you're like, yeah, from my face.

Yeah, that's what I used to clear up, you have STIs on your face. Uh, you're like, no, you, you take that as one of the things that you can take when you have, uh, when you have breakouts. So you said it doesn't really work for me, but it is one of the things that you can prescribe to take for your face, and oddly enough, in the, in the abstract, it wasn't really an abstract, it was just an article. I just like saying abstract, but it was effective up to 75%, uh, effective, yeah, except for people in Nigeria and men in France, which proves French men are dirty.

I don't know why it proves that, but it just doesn't. No, it just was just a uh a buildup of antibiotics in those particular countries, probably because they were taking the antibiotics too much, but that's not the problem. That is not the biggest problem with this thing. The problem is, this is something that has to be shared between two parties, right?

It's not like no no no no, I'm cool. I wore a condom last time so I'm clean. no, no, no, I'm cool. I took the pill last time.

This is a comes into a situation where you're like, hey, let's bareback uh because this is not, believe me, this is no way shape or form is being designed for the lifestyle this is being designed, this is being thought about. For the gay and bisexual community where STIs are skyrocketing and becoming a problem, however, if we did maintain a supply of antibiotics, that does cut down on the disease. Hopefully at some point in my lifetime we can eradicate STIs and have one giant bareback orgy. That's the name of our next takeover.

But that's not gonna be the problem. The problem is, is I'm gonna be walking around in our next takeover with a Pez dispenser filled with these pills and my, my dick filled with dick injection, so with a heart on and a bag of pills of doxy going, who wants to here it's getting the other person to take the pill and be like, no, no, no, you'll be fine, sister, just take this pill. So here I am just shoving it in their mouths. You know what I mean.

She doesn't want the tea. I'd rather you wear a condom. I'd rather you take this fucking pill. It doesn't feels better for me.

Take the pill, the fucking pill. So then it's then, then you're just a drug pusher, rapist, sort of, which is really unattractive to most women, I find. Also bringing it up becomes kind of problematic. Like, so, uh, you guys into, uh, bareback because I got pills.

I just sent you home with a like a gift bag and it comes with a pez of pills. Take those tonight, like some massage oil. I put out some, uh, I put out some sexy lights. I got some chill house music on and here is an abstract on doxycycline.

Yeah. So if you could just read over the facts and the side effects, sign here. It is interesting and I hope that it is something that for some of us will make life fun. I hope it does happen because if there is a case where you're like, yeah, I'd like to, I'd like to have some bareback fun with this couple.

Maybe not every couple, but you want to stay extra safe. I don't think it's something that you want to do with every single encounter that you have, but maybe that there is a certain situations out there that you're like, because it's very rare in the lifestyle that you're like I accidentally had bareback sex last night. But the truth is, is I think that the lifestyle stays a lot more protected than the dating world. That is a fact that I'm making up and spreading out there, but I believe it is true.

I believe that the lifestyle world stays way more protected than the dating world out there just because of the stigma attached to it. So look that up, find that drug online, send it to Richard and Lauren. We're gonna start the supply and you will get a tiny little pill dispenser when you meet us. It'll say Sunday through Saturday.

And it will have a little molly in there. It will have a little doxycycline in there, right? You will get a syringe to make your penis hard. It's a gift bag filled with drugs.

It's a really good idea. It also sounds so legal. Yeah, I don't think Amazon will sell it. Like, I don't think we could list as sellers on the amount of things that I could sell if there were no laws in this world, which.

Talking about before, I mean, it can make a fortune, you know. Here's a, there's a little bit of K in there, a little bit of G. It comes in a cute little package, you know, pineapple. It's a little pine.

You take the pineapple off, it's all clearly marked, right? Has, has a time on it when you should take this one. Don't take this one with this. It's all color coded, and that'd be great business until someone dies.

Oh my God, are you totally feeling it? I'm on my doxycycline. You're rolling on doxycycline? No, you're taking this wrong.

It's not. No, you're doing this wrong. Take the one in the Tuesday. Oh man, you're honey, did you take the doxycycline?

We had a lot of, we had an orgy last night, you know what I just realized? I took the doxycycline last night and I am on the plane rolling my ass off right now. And so we'll get our shit together and make sure that that doesn't happen. Yeah, I still think that the spray condom has a has a shot though because it could protect against the viral stuff.

So yeah, we keep working on it. Yeah, we're gonna make that up in a lab, the see-through skinless invisible condom, spray on herbal condom, spray it on and then take your doxycyclines. That is about it from us. If you want more information, go to ASA, uh, American Swingers Association, and it will not be listed there.

I don't think they vouched for it. Please make sure to go over to Patreon and go over to our website and support us. We need the support now more than ever. Why?

Because the peso is strong and the dollar is weak, and we are getting pummeled. Not in a fun way, not in a fun way. So make sure to go over there and support us as much as you can. Remember it is so worth it, which that's our drug dealer who's here with the doxycycline, the doxy.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to go leave a positive review. For more information, go to room 77life.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast.

Now get your clothes and get out. You don't