Ep. 2: Another Day At The Swinger Office

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. Views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Fed up with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now we do what we love work, party, and play at the Desire resort. After 15 years in a lifestyle together, we thought we saw it all, but we were so wrong, so wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day.

So come to room 77. Let's play. Tell me, what is one of the craziest things you've ever done? Well, a penis in my anus, my vibrator in my vagina.

This is one both, and the second is the china's bowl inside my vagina and. The penis at the same time. Wait, you put the balls in your vagina and then he fucked you afterwards? Exactly.

Oh my god, you're fucking crazy. All right, we started. I like that start. You like, you like the start of.

All right, we started. Yeah, it's kind of how I like it. Are the microphones on? Yeah.

Oh, all right. I have a blue light special happening over here on the charger. Oh, Kmart shoppers, there's a blue light special in linen. You just aged us.

I mean, it's not like Kmart doesn't exist anymore. I'm still there's there's one or two left. That's what I was about to say is, I mean, this has nothing to do with a swinging podcast. Let's change the podcast to businesses that are going out of business.

Dying ying business. Welcome to dying business. Where we discussed. All right, so, uh, at the resort we did an extra workshop because it was raining.

No, I had nothing to do with it because it was raining. There are so many people that wanted to go to the workshop because it was raining. There's nothing else to do. We came home and podcasted.

I, I thought, I thought it was because we were popular. I didn't even know it was raining. What is wrong with you like. I don't know.

I, it's, there's a difference in a chuckle, and I hold the chuckles. If I belt out, then I'll belt. I held chuckles once. Again, this has nothing to do with.

All right, go back to Saturday. We had to go do an extra class this week at The Pearl on Saturday because Friday there was some overflow. I danced at the foam party because I like the foam party. Oh yeah, you went to the foam party.

You were dancing on the stage slash bar slash entertainment. cubby. I don't know. They always run up to bring a towel, and I'm like, that's more dangerous.

I don't know. I don't know what what happens in your life when I'm not around. He was eating. You were eating.

I was having a cheeseburger. I mean, that's, that's the truth. I get much better service when you're with me. I know it's true.

Well, it's not sweet for me. It's just shitty service. I bet they were really busy. Yeah, they're always busy when you're not around when you party when everyone's out.

Yeah, they're really sweet. I love them all. I guess it was good. I mean, I had 22 waiters.

You got double teamed. I got double teamed. That would be the second time this week. Where are you going?

Holy shit. Walk out in the middle of a, I had to go put my ice pack away. Your ice pack from what? I have an ice pack.

Why? a bruise bruise where? On my neck. You have a bruise on your neck.

What happened? Pray tell. I honest to God, I don't know how it got there. I'm assuming.

This girl biting me. Yeah, I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a few questions of this delightful couple, and you can answer yes, no, or I don't know. I don't remember because it's not because I was inebriated. It's because there were 900 stimuli happening at the same time.

All right, I'm just going to ask you a series of questions. Let's go. You do not have to go into detail. Was your butt played with?

Yes. Were you tied up at any point? Yes. Was there a gag ball in your mouth at any point?

Yes I'm waiting for a yes or no. You have to pretend we're in court here. Oh, the survey says yes. Was there a gag ball in your mouth at any point?

Yes or no, ma'am, I just need a yes or no. The survey says yes. We're not on the Family Feud. This is a, this is a legal court.

Oh shit. Uh, yes, Your Honor. Was there, were you in any way, shape or form electrocuted last night? Oh God, I forgot about that.

Ma'am, were you or were you not electrocuted? It, it, yeah, with the tin, I don't, I just need a yes or a no. Were you or were you not electrocuted? Oh yeah, OK, mistletoe, ma'am.

I have one final question for you. Did you fulfill any vampire? Any vampire fantasies last night. I just simple yes or like a simple yes or no will do.

Yes, was that a yes for the jury? OK, so I think that paints a pretty good picture. Daddy. Yes, there was some daddy play.

I'm just throwing that out there just to, yeah, there was a lot of, uh, there was a lot of daddy do it to me, Daddy, daddy, daddy. That was fun. Yeah, I was, it's fun for me to watch you. All right, don't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't, no, no, no, don't tell no dirty too much if they want to.

They can come and visit me in room 77 and find out for themselves. So here's the funny part. So obviously we wound up in a situation last night where it sounds like we were almost tortured and brought to a Mexican prison, but we did this voluntarily. There was us and another couple in a penthouse overlooking the Caribbean Sea.

The experienced couple, the experienced couple. Totally hot, totally fun, sweet, nice. But there was another couple that wanted to. Come to the room and I usually don't do this.

I usually don't invite another couple because I'm always like 6 is a crowd. It always has been for us like anything above 4, it just starts getting confusing. And once again, I mean, I just, I proved my point again. You did.

It's hard enough to get 4 people on the same page, right? So anyway, now I, I, I've warned this couple, they don't play a lot. I wanted to warn them because I know, I know some shit's gonna go down. Because you can tell because you're talking to them in a certain way in the jacuzzi, right?

And I'm hearing what they're saying and I'm like, oh, these motherfuckers are serious. And us, we're like, yeah, we're down, do it to us. Stick it in. Let's see how it feels.

So I said to the to the woman and the man, I think, I think he was there, I don't know, vodka. And I said, Listen, things may get a little weird up there. They may get a little weird. She said, No, no, no, no, no, I want to go.

I want to come up there. I want to experience. I want to see everything. There's nothing.

We're not really scared of anything, really. And then she said, Well, wait, is there blood involved? Of course, I say, absolutely not. Why would there be blood involved?

It's such a bizarre question. You brought blood into that shit. You, you blooded in. I bled it in like I was a rip.

You did. You bleed in. Uh, you had a little bit of a weird vampire. I'm not going to go any further, weird vampire thing that happened, which also has nothing to do with that crazy bite mark on your own neck.

Honestly, I mean, I should be arrested for domestic abuse before further, further. That's that looks like you were strangled, um, which you were also strangled. That just that part didn't leave any marks. So we get up to the penthouse and the.

6 of us start to play and then we find out what do we find out about about the woman. So, um, she's complimenting your cock. She did, yeah, she's like, you have a beautiful cock. You have a nice cock.

You're making that up. No, and you were like, blow me. And she's like, Well, I, I, I won't without a condom. Blow me with a condom.

That's what she said. Blow me with it. You have to be wearing a condom. And we were both like.

So then I said, uh, no, I don't think you're going to blow me. Uh, and she said, Oh, well, I'm just really safe. And I thought, uh oh, this is not going to go well up here if this is the, this is the starting point, right? Little did I know there would be a gory horror movie blood scene going on.

Full on BDSM, full on randomness. Yeah, I mean, there's, it's stuff I left out to you. Were you spanked at any point during, during the evening? Were you, I was, and there was a Point where she was like, honey, you choke her out because you know how to do it.

These are just thoughts that are processing through my head today. Not, it did not happen, but his fingers were at those two points on my neck to, to make me pass out and then bring me back. It's a little like post-traumatic stress disorder because I keep getting these flashes. Yes, that's what I do today.

And I'm like, oh God, she had her entire finger up my ass. So I, yeah, I just keep getting, I keep getting these flashes. All right, then we ate, we ate. Well, no, first we went back to the spa because that's where our stuff was, got locked inside the spa.

They locked the doors while we were inside and came back out and then we were like fish in a tank and guests came by and they were like, Are you stuck? We're like, we're stuck. So we went back to the room, ate, and then it just got messy again. I mean, it just gets got messy.

You anticipated this. I did not. I envisioned us going back and eating because I just don't think we walked in, they had the thing flipped over the door thing, the door lock flipped over, so the door was open. We walked in.

And they're back in the bedroom. Of course, of course they were. So what do you do? You join in.

You take off your clothes and just go to town until the food comes. And then here's a good subject. So it's weird there like playing when you're there at the hotel and you're playing waiters, uh, waitresses. Well, there are no waitresses right now, but waiters, cleaning staff, security, they've all seen it a million times, right?

So there's really no reaction. It's not. You know, it's not like you're staying at the Hilton, you walk into an orgy. I think a housekeeper would have a heart attack.

And here they're like, Hello, do you need more towels? And so, and that's just the way the resort is, right? But the thing that's different with us, we not only know every single person that works at the hotel, we're legitimately friends with them. So it's like when Luis walks in.

Delivering the Delivering the room service, we look like caught children. Hey Louis. Hey Louise, we're fucking the people. Sorry, oopsies, but his response was, Do you want body shots?

Hey, do you guys need body shots? Yeah, I like to phase him. He's just great. So did you finish about the we we had one other segment that we were going to do, but I forgot failing businesses.

Oh, I recovered that, yeah. In the You, you came in and you gave us food and we were naked with another couple. What was your first thought? Did you want to jump in the bed with us?

It's very exciting. It's very difficult for me. It's very exciting, right, because you see all of these naked people here in a bed and you're bringing up food and you're like, I want to be the 5th guy that's that's naked. And I wanna fuck all of you.

Yes, it's very difficult, but it's my job. So how did you deal with that particular situation when you saw us, you were like, hey Lois, what's up? Uh, the, the, the rules is only see, don't touch, see, don't touch. That's a good rule.

Well, I have a story that goes along with that. When we were at RM one night, day, it was day, and I was across the pool, um, and there was a woman who was in one of the beds directly across from me, right? I mean, we're talking 60 ft, maybe 80. I'm not really a good, I'm not a good judge of feet.

So she was about 100 ft away. And uh so I'm sitting there and just sitting in the chair, probably playing with my penis and she starts rubbing her clit and she's by herself. I mean, the adrenaline, it was unbelievable. I started to get hard and I'm watching her and I'm like, holy, this chick is full on.

Masturbating by herself on a bed at desire. What I didn't see was behind a pole out of my vision was her husband, and she was just fucking around in the pool. No, she was in the bed, but he was down in the. No, he was behind the pillar.

I couldn't see him. She was doing it for him. I found it incredibly arousing. So why don't more women do that?

It takes more for a woman to masturbate in public mentally than it does for a guy. Guys can play with it. They like to. Many guys do not.

Many guys do not. They don't. They don't. I do because there's stuff wrong with me, right?

But we're talking in a, in a scale of, well, what it would start with would be nervous tic to fluffing to actually. Intentionally playing and masturbating. I think that's hot. I do too, but I'm saying women, we're not, there's nothing to do down there.

There's no except masturbate. Rub it. Yeah, but what am I going to do? Just nervously play with my lips?

Yes. No. That would be the weirdest nervous tic ever. Honey, if you were across the pool and you were just sort of looking out with your sunglasses, your chest is a little bit sweaty.

Drinking maybe a mai tai or a mojito, right? And your hand slowly touches your nipple and then it slowly starts to come down over your slim, trim, tight stomach down. All right, erotic. All right.

And then you start touching yourself. Holy shit, that's fucking awesome. Actually, I love masturbation porn. I know.

You do, but I don't think, but that there, there are a lot of questions. Why don't more men do it? Why don't women do it? And why don't women think it's hot when men do it?

I know men would think it's hot if a woman did it. Yeah, especially if she was alone. If she was alone on a bed, and it doesn't even have to be over, it's just like if she was alone on a bed, she was like gently touching herself. It brings me back to that story when you told me.

You were standing on the beach and you looked over and this woman was by herself and she saw I remember her looking at her and then I remember what country she was from. She spread her legs. Oh, that girl, that was a different girl. That was a different girl.

That was an awesome story. Oh God, that was such an awesome story. It's just like that never happens and you were so excited about it. Yeah, I was really excited about that.

I'll tell that story. I was by myself on the beach, which sounds sounds creepy. But I was almost, I was by myself on the beach as sometimes I find myself and I did. I saw a pretty hot couple sitting on the beach.

I, I was behind them, so I couldn't really see what they look like, exactly what they look like, and she was there with her husband and you weren't there and I was like, well, I'm going to go, I don't know, look for seashells. So I walked down to the beach. I walk in the ocean and all of a sudden I'm interested in seashells. As I walked down there, the husband left.

He, he left. He put on his shorts and he went away. I don't know what he had to do. I didn't care, but I looked and she was so smoking hot.

In fact, I don't even know what. What happened to them. I never saw them again. Never saw them again.

And she was sitting in the chair and I was I was just in the ocean. I was standing directly in front of her and she was sort of looking at me from the top of her sunglasses. I could be making that part up just because it seems hot in my head. I just, it's like a old movie.

Just edit edited and edited. She's, yeah, licking her lips. I don't know, maybe, but I do know she was sitting there. She just put on lip gloss.

Yeah, I know she was just sitting. I know she was sitting there. But anyway, this, the next part is true. I know she knows that I'm there because I'm the only person.

I'm the idiot looking at seashells, and I didn't mean for us to be alone on the beach because essentially we were alone. It was just me and her. She in one motion took her legs. And spread them.

She was wearing a bikini, so she wasn't she wasn't naked, but she took her legs and swung them so wide open. It was, I guess, embarrassing because I started getting hard, right? And I'm like, Oh yeah, I guess so. And I was like, Fuck, what do I do now?

I don't know what to do. Do I run? I don't know what to do. But anyway, that was extremely hot, but she just very intentionally spread her legs.

So wide. It was just a body language thing. I thought that she was not wearing a bathing suit. No, she was told me this story.

No, no, no, no. No, it was actually hotter than she was wearing. It was very erotic. It's not like she was reading.

It wasn't like she was into doing something else. She was looking straight out and because we're not on TV yet, I would do the motion for everyone, for all three of our listeners. I mean, look, maybe I am making it up. Maybe I am.

It doesn't matter. However, it is in your head, that's the story that we're talking about. Last year we were on the beach. There was this woman, she was from Germany.

That's all I can tell you about her. You remember who I'm talking to talking about because she was wild. Do you remember her? I don't know yet.

I have the worst memory ever, but maybe keep talking and I'll remember. I just remember we were on the beach. We were on the And beach bed, I think, or maybe not. And to this day, the only woman who I saw, she was in front of us to the left and she was she was playing with her clit on the beach by herself and she was just sitting there gently masturbating right on the beach.

Do you remember now? I don't. I'm sorry. I'm the worst.

I mean, do you, are we married? There's just, you don't remember. I I do actually remember someone playing, you don't, but I don't know who it was. I don't remember it was from Germany.

I do remember a woman playing with her clip because it turned you on and it, yeah, I told you I was like that woman is masturbating right there. Yeah, and so then I was like you do. You do it too. You do it too.

Yeah, I don't remember who it was. I don't remember. I just remember the situation happening and it amping up our bed play on the beach. I said something to her later.

Maybe I shouldn't have did. No, you should. She didn't speak English, so it didn't matter. How do you feel about public masturbation?

No opinion. What about if a woman is doing it? Great. What if a woman is doing it alone?

Interesting. You can say more than one word. Yeah. Thank you.

When guys play with themselves in public. Um, yeah, it, I have to say it's not really a turn on. I gotta admit. What if it was a woman masturbating?

Wow, like at the grocery store, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right here on a bed masturbating. Oh, got you. OK, I would probably watch a girl on a bed here at Desire masturbating by herself. How would you react?

I'd start rubbing my cock. We met a fancy couple this week and wound up, I said, I am not going back to their room. I said it, I said it 100 times. Not that I didn't like them, not that they weren't super hot, they were.

I just. You knew, I knew, I knew how this shit was gonna go down. I knew, I knew, I knew because she was super duper sweet, super sweet and really attractive, and he was super, super boisterous, aggressive, but in a, in a charming way. Um, uber confident, uber confident.

He was just very confident and but funny, and so he was able to be confident and a little cocky because he, he had a wicked sense of humor, but she was really super shy. Yeah, bless her. Well, I can bless her little heart. I have never seen someone with a body as hot.

Can I say that? Yeah, I guess. I mean, she had a really smoking body, but it doesn't matter at that point because I look at it and then. That's when the little dick starts the little dick.

The little brain starts, starts talking to you like you should go back to her room. She's really hot, but my ups, my brain, my bigger brain, slightly bigger, not much bigger. My slightly bigger brain's like, you know how this is going to end. How, how did I say it was going to end?

You said, well, because you're shy also, sort of, sort of, yeah, I, I think, I think comparatively in this world that you're shy. In a in a normal place, no normal world. It takes a lot for me to be aggressive in the lifestyle world. Yeah, I like to just walk.

Some people just walk up and hit on women and, oh wow, you're hot. 15 years later, I still feel uncomfortable touching a woman, and even if that means my hand on her shoulder. When I don't really know her, right? And, and I see men all the time come up to you while you're in the jacuzzi at desire and just put both their hands on your hip.

I know, and they just, they don't even blink. No, and I tell you, I'm like, honey, you, you'll say I don't think. She likes me or I don't know if she's interested and I'm like, because you didn't hit on her, right? So this becomes a problem.

So this is, this is the anyway, this is essentially the problem. So she's really sweet and she's really shy and um she, she kept getting lost. She, she got. Well, the, the whole question was, I, I, you told me how it was going to end up.

You said, I told you how it was going to end up. What did I say? And I, and I was going to say that, and then I went off on a tangent. Well, right, because of signals that that like when you say hello to them.

He comes over and hugs you and she holds onto her coffee cup, holds on to her whatever drink or whatever. And um he's like, hey, come back to our room. And she's like, OK, I'm leaving now. I'm going to go get a drink while y'all talk about this, which is very shy behavior.

So it got to the point where we said, hey. Is she interested or not? And he's like, Yeah, she's totally interested. You got to take my word for it.

And I said, Listen, we don't do that. We don't take your word for what your wife said. If your wife wants to express it, she has to express it. Otherwise it becomes way too confusing.

And we want to respect what her wants. So we knew this going going down before we met them for like a 3rd time. They were like, well, meet us at the bar before you leave because we were on the way out of the hotel of the hotel going home, yeah, for dinner and everything else. We were hungry and tired and dirty.

I mean, we're always dirty. No, no, we were, I was hungry. I had, I had shit I had to do, um. Including just podcast stuff.

Right, so we go down, so we go down to the bar and uh we order coffees and this time they they keep saying we want you to come, but don't leave, don't leave. Yeah, don't leave, stay tonight, and we're like we can't stay, we we we can't, we're just, we can't, we'll die. Um, but, but, but we sort of know ourselves, but I had said I am not. Under any circumstances going back to their room.

So I, he said why he wanted to know why. And, and then you were like, well, I, I'm, can I just be honest for a minute? I'm just going to be honest. Can we just lay it on the table?

And you just said it to her. You said, Listen, this is what I feel like you're very shy. I am actually shy. And what's going to happen is, and then what's going to happen is we're both going to be spooning in a both going to be curled up in a corner spooning.

No, I said, I said, your shy is going to make me shy. My shy is going to make you shy. It's going to make us both anxious. And then when I get anxious, I, I, I worry whether I'm gonna have dick problems.

If that, that's a whole different road that I'd have to go down, and um it's, it's gonna create stress. You're gonna be stressed, I'm gonna be stressed. These two, meaning you and the fella. are both very confident and fun loving.

I was like, they'll be fucking off the walls, and I'll be holding you in a corner because I hurt your feelings somehow. Yeah, and we like to all play. Like we want to just not him, her, him, her. We like just to just let's all just have fun together, but you will naturally go to someone who is being shy and Right, and we, but we also just are, are drama free.

We don't want any drama. We don't want any. Feelings of of what is she thinking? What is he thinking?

We don't know. They're sending mixed signals, like we're out. We're just out. We can kind of foresee it because of just the collective data that we have over 15 years.

And it happened. I went back to their room. I did everything I said I wasn't going to do. Yeah, I was like, All right, let's go.

Let's grab a drink and go. OK. Adding to the fact that he, I mean, he just was a salesman on this. He could have sold me my own shoes on this.

I mean, he did do a good sale. He, he, he was just. Like, all right, one hour. He made a good, no, I said one hour.

OK, and he agreed. I said, you have one hour, right? You have one hour. Let's go right now.

And he said, what happens after the hour? I was like, I don't know, but you got one hour. I'm leaving. That's what happens.

Yeah, you got one hour to make this happen. Let's go. OK, well, their room was closed, so that didn't make it easy. Well, it saved some time.

It, it didn't make it easy. No. No, so what happened? The exact thing that we foresaw.

She got shy. She shut down. We were all naked, kind of left three of us. It wound up being a threesome.

It made me feel awkward. I wound up over there, curling down next to her and whispering in her ear, Are you OK? And it's, it's just, I don't know. Sorry, honey.

No, it's fine, they were hot. Yeah, I just, I don't, I want everyone to have fun. I would rather everyone has fun too, but when I'm in the middle of a situation and my head goes from, oh, I want to do this to her. Oh, I want to do that to her, that when that turns to, I wonder what's on Netflix.

I know that my brain has gone off. I'm done. And that's when things start going haywire for me. That's not good.

No, because I, I just don't want to be there anymore. I thought you were going to say when my brain turns to going, ask her if she's OK. Ask. I, I said that.

I know twice. I thought that's what you're going to say. Anyway. Anyway, let's chalk it up to that will never happen again until it happens the next time.

Has your gut ever steered you wrong? If you don't feel the, the vibe is right from the get-go, you're probably better off walking away because it's not gonna end well. It's not, it's not gonna end well. I, I, not at all.

I agree with you. All right, and we've started. Oh, we've started. Can we start with the 1000 shrimp that I ate for dinner tonight that I think I'm probably gonna.

Bring up later. No, don't say that. I'm so scared. There's a lot.

I was like, Well, maybe we should get something else. I don't want to talk about. I'm getting nauseous now. What were you going to say?

I wanted to talk about the Playboy weekend, my new girlfriend. So now I have two new girlfriends. I have, um, I have Anna, Anna, the entertainment staff. Anna on the entertainment staff, my girlfriend.

She still doesn't know, but I'm letting her know little by little. I too am letting her know, by the way, for you. I got this. I'm, I'm trying to be wing.

I got, I got this. All right, all right, all right, all right, Maverick number 2 girlfriend Veronica Flores. I could reach behind me on the bookcase. And grabbed the Playboy magazine that she gave me because I'm her boyfriend.

Yes, well, I don't know if you're, I don't know if she, she thinks you're her boyfriend, but you can certainly have her as a girlfriend. I don't, I don't want to use the word love. Or please don't. I don't want to use the word love at first sight, but I'm pretty sure after we had dinner, we had dinner, so the playboy Veronica Flores centerfold two time centerfold, uh, came to 22 time cover, but I think when you're in the centerfold you are the cover.

No, it's 3 separate things. She's a 2 time centerfold and I mean 2 time cover, 1 time centerfold, so she has 3 achievements. I heard her say this specific list. Now she has 4 me photos with you.

She's conquered me. So we had dinner with her and a group of other people at the Pearl, the mapping dinner. It's this really cool sort of experience that you can have with a group of people where the, there's a projection on the table happening that. Sort of interacts with your food.

You go through a whole process over about 2 hours and it's really fun. It was amazing. I thought it was really, really cool. I enjoyed getting to meet the people next to me because you sit across from your partner across the table, and so I enjoyed chatting.

With the people next to me, sometimes I chatted too much. No, you're always chatting too much. I know. And I don't, I don't know.

I just thought it was kind of cool to go on, explore different senses. That's what they said at the beginning. I was like, explore different senses, except the sense where they said take your top. Well, it is desire.

This is my problem with those dinners is my lack of etiquette. Lucky me was sitting next to, I think the most refined human beings I've ever seen consume food in my life. So posh, really posh, really educated, and I'm one step above eating the food with my hands and grunting. I kept finishing way too fast.

I would look up. Everybody still had food, and I shoveled mine down. How about just look around? I can't.

I'm too, I'm eating my food. You give me shit about not being aware of my surroundings, and this is, this could be. No, it's not. It is.

This is a basic instinct. This is survival. No, it's versus etiquette. It's what's embedded.

Into your head from your brothers. I just know that the people next to us were extremely posh English people. She wasn't English, yeah, but she's lived there for 30 years, but not English. Yeah, she's Japanese, right?

So that's different, but she's lived posh for 31 years actually. They were celebrating their 31st anniversary. I'm just, I was just stating the point that she's in fact Japanese. She was not English.

We actually made a joke. She tilted her soup plate away from her, but I was like, oh my gosh, I haven't done that in like such a long time because I, I would only pull out my high-end etiquette when I would eat at a really, really, really, really fancy restaurant. You don't have high-end etiquette. I know how to do it.

I don't think you do. I do. Well, that's why I commented on the soup plate. I was like, oh my gosh, I haven't seen someone do that in such a long time.

And she laughed and then she goes, Well, I'm Japanese. We usually pick it up with our hands and drink it. That's what my instinct would say to do that and we had a little laugh. All right, so anyway, so, but I was sitting too far away from my, my girlfriend Veronica to talk to her during dinner and her producer friend, so I didn't really get to talk to them.

We hung out with them afterwards though, we had a couple of drinks. We had a good time. Poor thing was sick. She was a trooper.

She really was, and I was, I don't know, I am, I'm always happy for people when they get success when they are a genuinely sweet, awesome people. It was just refreshing. It was awesome. All right, I'm standing here with these lovely people and we just finished having a meal together.

But, and I'm gonna go on a limb and ask you, what, what do you think of my husband's banner? s First of all, I'm not finished with my meal, but I, I'd like to. Does he wanna eat off my plate? He does eat fast.

I know, I know, bless him at the same time, so I don't understand the question. I have some food left on my plate and he's welcome to have it, but I do. Are you sure? All right, we started.

OK, I'm going to start with something. You are? Yeah, because this is rare. I know.

Oh, don't be surprised. I wish our listener could see my reaction. If I could come home from work any day, any day, and not sing, um, Despacito, Despacito one or the other one that I don't know the words, but I sing ungato. I don't know the words, but I just sing it and.

but it doesn't say anything about a cat. Music doesn't stay in my head. Won't leave mine with the voices. I don't have voices.

You have voices. I don't. I have music. Just promise me you're not going to browse the web this time during the the podcast.

No. And I put my phone on silent. Oh, see, now we're professionals. You think I don't listen to you, but I do.

No, no, no, I know you don't listen to me. I'm trying 15 years and I'm really trying, but your patience is, it needs a certificate. It's at its limits. No, you're doing so good.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to get you more patience for your anniversary. I appreciate it. I think the 10 year anniversary is patience.

Do you think we're going to make it to 10 years? Anyway, it was hot today. It was even um we were talking to the dive master guy, Alonzo, I believe his name is Alonzo, the most energetic man, really good dancer, Amazing. I started a dance.

Did you see me? Yeah, he's a really good dancer and I just did like one move and then he started dancing and I was like, oh my God, it's so easy to get you started. He's like, Oh my God, you just woke me up. Why doesn't you teach the dance class?

I don't know. He's amazing though. He's got a great body. He's fit.

He's wait, do you have a crush on Alonzo? I don't know, but there was a, there was a guest who was telling me that um she has a huge crush on him. I think a lot of people have a crush on him. Yeah, I mean, he's got a good personality.

He's got a good body. He dances well. Oh shit, I have a crush on Alonzo. Put him in your in your bucket of crushes with girlfriend Veronica Flores, the Playboy model, and my other girlfriend Anna, who I get to see tomorrow.

Yes, I have to text her first. I have to get her number, but then I have to text her. You have to reach out. Yes, yeah, don't let that ball drop.

No, I won't. Um, speaking of balls dropping today at the pool, this is one of the things that I, I can't seem to get. Hold of as a man. I hope you don't grab other people's balls.

You don't know what I do when you're not looking, when I'm sitting, when I'm standing on the jet having an orgasm. Um, I, I've been, I don't know if I have more of an expectation of my body than my body does. Wait, I, my brain has more expectations of my body than my actual body does. I don't know.

That makes sense. It doesn't make any fucking sense. That doesn't make any sense. All right.

OK, so you're God, how do I put it? And it works its way into class too. I, there's something on one side of my brain that feels like I should want to have sex with every single person that I see, right? Especially if they're attractive to me.

Right? Like, oh, that girl is really hot. I should want to have sex with her. It should give me a hard on, right, whatever, but it doesn't work like that.

And I feel like after I'm not going to say my age, but it's, it's, it's pretty far up there. It's close to half a century. If you round down, you're just making fun of me, which I don't think you're not over 50. OK, back to hot girls and fucking.

Right. So then I, I would like to know how I wish I had a friend or our listener would call me and tell me what it's like for them. I don't know. It's, it's like that feeling doesn't always.

I don't know. I don't even know if I should go down this path because it doesn't make sense to me. Do you want me to take a guess? Yes, OK.

I'm just going to try and put words in your mouth since you don't have any. So you're good at this. Go ahead. I do.

So I think that you're trying to say you don't know why you don't react at every single thing that's hot like as if you were a 16 year old. OK, well, that's the answer. Well, that's not an answer. That was a question.

I'm saying. Why doesn't my brain match up with my libido? Because sometimes my brain can view a situation, can view a girl, even if the girl is flirting with me or whatever, and or being sexual, and I can look at the girl and my brain's like, Oh, I would be with her in a second. But my libido is going, No, that's that's experience.

I don't know what that means. Well, that's the difference between being 16 and going, Oh, yeah, and it going straight to the body and having a reaction versus having a thought and then your body going, Do I react to the thought, or do I just go, All right, thought, thumbs up. So if, if, if I'm getting, if I'm hearing you clearly, you're saying I should have sex with 16 year olds. No, that might have been putting words in my mouth.

Oh, all right, so you don't think I'm abnormal. I can't go there. No, because listen, it's, you got to think like the animal DNA part of it, right? If you reacted to every fucking thing, you would have blue balls and like the 1st 4 hours of you being awake.

You're saying that most men do not feel. A rational thought of being attracted to someone and the libido match up. No, I'm saying I don't think it's abnormal. There's a lot of guys out there that I've seen come through the hotel where I'm like, Jesus Christ, your libido, like calm down.

But it's the same with women. There's some women who come through and I'm like, holy shit. They're just, there are people that are just like that, and I just, you're not. One of those people.

You're not always like, ah, but my brain is, so you're not hearing me. No, I hear you. My brain is there's a different category for that. Your brain is my brain is stick it in her.

My libido's like, let's go have a coffee, right? But that's different because you're like, oh, I, there, there's, you don't go straight to the id of your brain, if you will. And there are people out there who are just like, oh, that turned me on, hard on. And then there's you who's like, you have twisted thoughts and you have like sexual thoughts, but it doesn't always necessarily result in a hard on, which is absolutely normal, I think.

But I feel like less of a man because of that. Well, I would love to be one of those women who You know, gets to orgasm 5 times in an hour or 5 times during one sex session, and then every freaking time you stick it in me, I come in 55 minutes or 2 minutes or whatever. I'd love to be one of those people, but I'm not because I'm, I'm more mental and I'm more, but we're talking, I'm just talking. About the erection part of it.

No, not the erection part of it. There's a difference between arousal and erection. You can be aroused by something and not have an erection. I'm saying that is every guy like me, when they see a, wow, she's really attractive, or a woman.

Oh, he's really attractive, right? I'm attracted to that. Does that lead to an arousal or that person is attractive? Let's see.

Let's see if if I'm aroused because there are certain people who arouse me for no reason that I can particularly. nailed down. And there are people that I see that should on paper arouse me that do not. Correct.

You're saying I'm asking you a question. No, I'm, I'm saying correct to my assessment. You're welcome. All right, let's, I'll edit that out later.

I'm saying that that has to go with your twisted mind. And, and when I say twisted, I don't mean like uber twisted. It just means that there's a complexity to what actually arouses you, what takes you to that level of. arousal.

I don't know because I'm I'm, I don't know. Was I supposed to be attracted in the workshop today, in in the in the in the workshop today? Um, there was 12, there were 2 women in there that sexually aroused me. However, I feel like there should have been.

3, no, there should have been 2 women in there that sexually turned me on, on paper. One of those did. Then there was a woman who was not my type at all, but sexually aroused me. And then there was a woman who I should have been both attracted to and 2 sexually aroused by, but she did nothing for me when this is when I'm actually touching them and rubbing them.

Well, I think you. Trying to measure yourself by, uh, a benchmark standard. You're not, you're not saying, well, this, this arouses me, this arouses me, this arouses me. You're lumping your things that arouse you, uh, based on what, like you're saying, paper, but that's a benchmark.

What arouses other people should also apply to you, but it doesn't. Why? Well, we've been in the lifestyle for 15 years, 12, you have either dated or married. People who you measure people up, you measure other women up to.

You've had a lot of experiences that you measure things up to, so that's not necessarily like, oh, she's pretty. Well, you've, you've done pretty, you've done young, you've done, you know, you've done a lot of things. So I think what arouses us also is constantly changing and you're trying to apply maybe people who have been married for a long time and are new to. The lifestyle and are like, well, anything different than my wife is arousing because that's that's different and it's like woohoo or something.

I don't know. And it's just different. I don't know. I don't know because I haven't been married and not in the lifestyle because we were in the lifestyle before we even got married.

So I don't know what that turn would be like, so I can't really comment on it. That's not you're fair a fine job. You're overcoming. No, I'm, I'm explaining why it's not fair for me to comment.

I don't know if you get me. Let's get a divorce. No, we shouldn't get a divorce. I'm going to give you patience, so you have to hang in there.

I'm editing in a sound of walking and and a door closing after this. Anyway, I, I don't, if anybody out there knows what the fuck I'm talking about, I, I just, I don't know, maybe I'm desensitized. Well, that's definitely, I think something we talked about that in 2016 when we lived at the hotel. Now, I touch more naked people, far more naked people than a porn star.

You know what that does to the mind? I don't know what it does to your mind. I don't know if you understand me at all. I have to call Anna.

You have to get Anna's number, either Anna or Veronica Flores. Now she's someone who aroused me. I know it's shocking. What the Playboy?

What the two time cover Playboy bunny who's 24. Yeah, but she, I don't know, there's something really sexy about her. I mean, her mouth was like stupid. And it's just so so sweet but pouty and she was so cute.

She's like, my boobs aren't real, but my lips are. And I'm like, Oh my God, I want to punch you. I don't want to talk about her. I know it makes me sad.

It makes me sad that we're not together anymore. Um, all right, so yeah, I don't know if somebody knows the answer to this question and all the others, why? I don't know. I, I don't know.

It confuses confuses me today. Maybe I just want to be, maybe I just measure my libido and my body on a 16 year old standard of how it's supposed to react, and it's still stuck in my head that Seahawk girl horny. But it doesn't work like that anymore. I don't know what goes through your head sometimes, honestly.

It's too much is what goes through my head. Maybe. What is horny and what's arousal? What's the difference?

I would say horny is like, I'm in the mood to play and flirt, and I, I eventually want to this to lead to sex, but I think arousal. is an outside variable that is causing something in you to stir that you're not in control of. OK, that makes sense. It's your body's physically reacting to the stimuli.

Yeah, and, and an erection or hard on is a symptom of being aroused. You can be aroused without a heart on, right? I, when it happens to women, I imagine like when they get aroused by me, they just start getting wet in their panties. Is that what happens?

That's would be equivalent to our, you're getting hard. So when most women are talking to me just about anything, no, they're getting wet, probably. I'm going to go with a probably. I.

I just watch the pupils. You don't watch the pupils. I don't. I don't even.

I barely look at people. I know that sounded cold. That's not true. Yeah, I, I'll cut that out for you later.

That's all I can help you with. We have to wait for your caller because I can't, I can't carry that. I don't even know if it makes sense. Well, maybe to someone, not you, not me.

I gave my best. Good talk, Russ. Libido with my brain. In other words, I have a lot of dirty thoughts, but sometimes my libido cannot back it up.

Same thing happens, but then I realized I'm a 45-year-old man and it doesn't work the same anymore. You're 45, 44 actually. You look a lot older. I get that all the time.

You're not the first to say that. And, that about does it for us. For more information, photos, or to contact us, go to room 77 podcast.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77.

We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.