Ep. 63: How To Make Stepdad Porn

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Alright, Lauren, now we've started. How are you? How are you feeling? Full of anticipation, anticipation.

Well, you shouldn't be. Uh, it's just a normal day here at the room 77 headquarters. But here's what I wanted to tell you. Here's what's a little bit different today, uh, I wanted to talk about something, and, uh, I wanted to include you in on it.

So, but you don't know. I don't know. That's why I'm full of anticipation. I wouldn't tell you because uh I wanted to talk to you about something and then I just wanted to invite the listeners in with me while we talked about it.

Before we move forward, I have to mention Patreon is very important to us at patreon.com/room77 because it helps us keep this up. It's our lifeline. Not unlike other podcasts, it is how we make money. In fact, I just read that Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett just signed a deal for $80 million for their podcast.

So same, same. Oh my God. That's just under what we make if you include the both of us and every friend we've ever met and their families in our entire life. If you lump all of those people together, it's kind of the same thing.

But we are taking all of the XXX photos and the videos and putting it back. That includes the classic anal anal anal, a three-part docuseries. We had some storage issues. Apparently some people don't like to store anal, anal, anal.

In their, uh, hosting storage space. It would be like if public storage was like, we said you could use it for whatever you want, but we've now decided you cannot shoot porn inside of your unit. If you enjoy this podcast, go to patreon.com/room77 and support us. You can support us as little as $2 a month.

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Room for more LG Fun, Darryl, Nadia, Luanne, Dave and Marissa, YYC West, C and G Al Bon, Bill, Ali, Aaron, and Chantal. And you're welcome for your fresh scalp. Now, a few days ago I had a conversation online in our Patreon Telegram chat. Now I feel like hand jobs, which are, by the way, one of my favorite things in the world, we're talking about how underrated hand jobs are.

I love them. I'm not taking anything away from the blowjob, but I think that hand jobs overall are pretty underrated. it. I really do.

Yeah, and I think it is an art that sometimes, uh, women don't ever really focus on. Like they always go in just for the blowjob. Well, yeah, because we think, you know, third base is way better than 2nd base. You must love it more.

Uh, not everybody plays baseball, so. I just went back to high school and we're also not all in high school. Uh, I wanted to express my thoughtfulness to all the ladies out there who might be like, I don't mind blowjobs, but I don't really understand the art of it because as a person who has been giving hand jobs to himself for decades, there is a lot of special. Things to it.

And I thought maybe that this would be a good time to guide some women through it who are like, oh, I never really thought that it was, it was that special and maybe I can share that with the world and give some instructions to some ladies. Yes, learning scholarly sex. Hashtag professor daddy. So I thought, oh well, we could, we could just talk about hand jobs, but why not do it more interesting in this same conversation or maybe a different conversation, I don't know, but with the same person.

Yeah, we talked about when we go to our favorite porn searches what it automatically generates for us, like what is up there, what is like, these are the things that are generated for you. Do you wanna watch a video. That has this kind of storyline, or do you wanna watch a storyline about this? And he said, I said, well, I'm gonna go in and do it incognito because I want to see if I get the same type of response with what's suggested to me, or does it just think that I'm into some really creepy shit.

OK. And uh you don't, you don't have to search anything. No, you don't have to search anything. It's just, it just puts up certain.

And uh and I'm like, is this particular to me? Does it know my mind and it knows I'm kind of fucked up? So no. So then we started talking about like what does it offer you.

So I figured what we could do is offer the art of giving a hand job but do it through a play session that is in the, uh, the realm of a story. I'm gonna give. You, we're gonna do a little play acting here, a little improvis, yeah, good, a little improvisation. So these are some of the categories that came up when I just turned on porn and I looked in the, uh, storylines that were offered to me.

So now I'm gonna relate them to us. Uh, you're gonna need a little bit of backstory and a costume change. OK, now I'm gonna give you 3 choices, OK? You get to pick any one of these 3, and this is all gonna be about a person teaching another person how to give a hand job.

OK, here are your choices. One is called stepdad. I don't know why I get a lot of stepdad porn and stepmom porn. I don't want to be biased, but I get a lot of stepdad, stepmom, sometimes grandparents are thrown in there, but you get the idea.

Now what happens is my stepdaughter, well, not my stepdaughter, a stepdaughter, a stepdaughter is a little bit nervous because she wants to hook up with a guy, but she's never done it before. And you know, stepdad being stepdad, he has to step in. He's gonna say step in and look out for her best interest. He doesn't want her to do a bad job.

No, he's got a teacher thing. Yeah, what stepdads do. They do, right? All right.

The second one is called the babysitter. Babysitter porn, always a good one. Always a go to, right? Now the babysitter is about catching the mom and dad catch their babysitter being naughty, yeah, and she has to get punished, OK.

And to find out, lo and behold, she doesn't know how to give a hand job. That's her punishment. She's gonna get punished in front of both of them. It's strict.

And then the third one is called shoplifting. There is. Always seeing somebody stole something, can't pay. That's so funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, love it. I love it. There's a street kid that cannot pay for what they stole. Turns out this girl is from the right side of the tracks.

She gets anything she wants, OK? And when the store owner finds that out, she's gonna give up something that no one else has, and that's her sexually. So, uh, you get to. Choose which one you want to do and then we're gonna do a little costume change and then we'll just do, we'll do, we'll do the learning period in character.

How's that sound? OK, I like it. All right, which one do you like to, which one do you want to choose? I think I shot.

I want to do stepdad. You want to do stepdad. I know. I thought, OK, let's do that.

I like that easiest costume change. I'm gonna tell you right now because I got to give you. Your backstory. So we're gonna give you a little bit of backstory.

Uh, we're gonna get you changed because we're actually gonna film this, and if it turns out OK, we're gonna put it up on the Patreon, uh, and, and let everybody watch the outcome of this. OK. All right, so, uh, we will be right back. It's like a, a, time machine though.

People who are listening, you won't notice anything. Just keep driving, OK. Alright, so you made it back, you're in wardrobe, which consists of a towel, you're a little wet, well, you're not really wet, you're just a little damp, maybe you got out of the shower, I don't know, you know, you're, uh, you know, just a girl that's walking around in a in a small towel. I'm in my clothes, which is casual Friday.

Just work at a casual Friday. OK, you ready? So you have your sort of storyline in front of you. You have your backstory in front of you.

Do you want a name? I didn't give you a name. My name's Kevin. Um, Chelsea.

Ashley, Ashley's always are naughty. Ashley, so dirty. Yeah, Ashley's are naughty. Ashley, I'm Kevin.

So, uh, set the scene. I'm, uh, I'm at my desk where I work out of my bedroom upstairs in the bedroom bedroom office, office upstairs, OK. This is where my wife and I and our stepdaughter are usually a lot, OK. And then you, uh, prance into the room.

Here I am. Look, we're not disclosing any age here. You don't know. You don't know what age I am.

You don't know how many times she failed 9th grade. Maybe I was held back. You have no idea, but there, this is your mind. This is your story.

You go wherever you want with this, OK? You don't know anything about this family. Do not judge them, mainly because they're made up. OK.

All right, Ashley, uh, I'm in the room. Oh, sorry, sorry, Ashley. I hang out in our bedroom with Go lay down, Fido. Uh, alright.

Hey Kevin. Hey, Ash, what's, what's up? Where's Mom? Oh, sorry, I'm in a towel.

Oh, it's fine, honey. I mean, looks more like a washcloth, but, uh, she, uh, your mom had dental surgery today, so she's, I mean, she is super passed out. I doubt anything would wake her up at this point. What's, uh, what's up?

You kind of look upset. Well, yeah, I'm like I have a new boyfriend. Oh, congratulations. Mom and I usually are the ones talking about.

Sex and oh God, this is a sex talk. Well, I just need some advice and she's passed out. Well, I've, I don't really know what I'm doing and he's dated other girls and that are more experienced and I want to make sure that if something were to happen that I know what I'm doing. OK.

All right. Have you ever done anything before? Like, I haven't done anything. So I see your brother's friends like flirting with you all the time.

You've never done anything with them. No, really, like I. I saw one of his friends in your shower. I thought it was you, but I walked in on him in the shower.

You went in the shower. No, I just, I saw him in the shower. Oh, I mean, you've seen naked guys before. You've seen me naked 100 times.

So why did that upset you or something? No, I just, I, um, I, I walked in on him and, um, was stroking his dick. Oh my God, what did? I don't want to get him in trouble.

You're not gonna get him in trouble. What happened? Well, he caught me looking and we both froze, and I asked him not to stop. You asked him to like keep on stroking his dick.

Yes, all right. All right, well, how did, how did that make you feel? Well, I wanted to touch it so bad, but I didn't know what I was doing. I really like this guy at school, and I know he's been with other people, so I want to do it right.

All right, well, look, I don't think you have anything to worry about, OK? It's just like, do, do what he was doing to his dick. Just do it, you know, with, with your own hand. That's, that's really all you have to do.

Wait, wait, hold on a second. You said that you, you came in and you thought. It was me in the shower and I know we've seen each other naked all the time, but like, have you ever walked in when I was like, I love, oh my God, you saw me stroking my dick. Actually, I'm so embarrassed.

Oh my God, don't be. mom always says like you're good at sex stuff. So you and mom, you guys talk about our sex stuff. Yeah, that's why I came up here.

I wanted to talk to her and I know that she would show me what to do if she wasn't passed out. Alright, well, I, I, I, I can't, I can't show you, but I can, I guess I can tell you. Alright, so like a good hand job is like, I guess that's what you want, right? It's just a hand job.

I mean, give a hand job. Alright, yeah. OK. Alright, so like a good hand job is, is like friction is not a guy's friend.

Like, so what do you mean like you need like something to make it slippery like lube or something. Oh, OK, yeah, OK. Like the kind you keep in your desk, honey, how do you know that I keep my, that's different. I mean, but yeah, don't bring that on.

Don't bring that on a date. That would be super weird. OK. All right, just use, use your spit.

OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll use my spit, spit on his dick or whatever. And then like, you know, the trick about a good hand job is like you don't wanna squeeze it like you're trying to kill it, right? But you don't want to squeeze it also like it's like it's a fragile little egg. It's somewhere in between like start kind of slow and nice in long strokes up and down all the way from the bottom all the way to the top of the cock and like you could start with one hand and then you can use both hands.

The trick about really giving a really good hand job is like making sure your hands like where the head. Meets the top of the shaft like you stroke up there like that little ridge up at the top of the head and, and underneath spots like like when you start seeing him get excited, you want to really concentrate just stroking up there, OK. You don't want to leave the balls out. You don't want to be rough with them, you know, they're friends that came to the party, but they're even more shy than the penis like.

That's funny. Like, you wanna, oh, you never called me daddy before. Do I spit on them too? No, you don't have to spit on them.

No, I mean, you can if you're into that. I don't know what you're into or what he's into, you know, maybe he'll say, hey, Ashley, spit on my balls. And if that's the case, then you should. I'm Your mom spits on my balls all the time.

So yeah, so you sometimes want to play with them just a little bit, but those you do have to treat like fragile eggs. One hand on the balls, one hand. Change it up a little bit and then concentrate on his breathing, you know, and, and his hips and like if he's getting ready to come, really start to speed it up and concentrate on that top part. And if he's getting ready, you know, go faster and faster, but don't forget to like talk to him and whisper in his ear and like really get him going like, oh, that's smart.

And if he wants to just like lay back and let him watch, let him watch you worship his cock, but don't. Don't feel like you have to do more. Like, maybe you feel like, oh, I guess he wants a blowjob now. You don't have to do that.

You can just be happy with just a hand job. It's very underrated. I heard that on a podcast someplace. Oh, you listen to podcasts.

They're super cool for people my age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the advice I can give you. OK.

Um, is Mom still asleep? Yeah, she's going to be out for hours. I mean, her teeth, they pulled most of them, to be honest. She looks like a meth head.

I just, I don't know. Maybe I'll sauces my brother. What? What?

No, I just, do you think you could show me or let me try it? You want to give me a hand job? It's not like a real one, just for practice. Fine.

If it's not like a real one, then I guess it doesn't count. I think your mom would be OK with it. She's, she's fine with it. All right, this is super weird, but as long as, well, it's just like showing me how to swim.

Yeah, it's just, it's the same as when I taught you how to swim and how to play basketball. You are awesome at those two. I'm sure you're gonna be awesome at this. Thanks, but you know how much I love teaching.

All right, come on. Over here and I'll show you. OK, I'm willing a towel. It's OK.

I really believe that all women should know how to give a really good hand job. It's very underrated. I'm going to try to teach you so that you can tell your friends. Maybe, maybe they'll come over too because they want to learn too.

It's up to you and your friends, whatever they want to do. All right, Ashley, I guess, uh, I guess, I guess the first thing you have to do is get closer. Did I sit, or yeah, I mean, here's fine. I'm just so nervous.

I'm nervous. Don't be nervous. I mean, I'm, I'm cool with it if you think it's cool. It's just helping me.

All right, um, I have like, I mean, it's not like you haven't seen me before, right? Like I've seen you naked. I've seen. All right, so I guess I'll take it out.

My towel is probably gonna fall off if. Alright. If I smile, is that OK? Yeah, it's totally fine.

I'm just a little nervous. I'm sorry, I'm already hard. I have, I have lube if you, if you wanna, if you want that, like, OK, should I, is that what you need? Like I, I should have that?

Well, no, I mean, you might want to just use spit. OK, you have to tell me. I don't know. Well, I'll tell you.

All right, so, so take the lube first, I mean, or just, just, uh, that's, you can let your towel go. That's fine. Just, I guess just grab my cock. Oh yeah, like that, and just start to like pump it up and down, just not too hard.

Uh, just slow like that, yeah. Oh, that feels nice. How does that feel? But like, do you like it?

Yeah, it's hot. I mean that feels good. Yeah, like a twist. So you can like add some lube or spit, like whatever you have at the time.

Like I don't know, whatever, but just like, yeah, that's, that's enough. Oh, yeah, I mean, but like. Just start from the bottom of his cock, and then work your way up and you can take your other hand and play with his balls a little bit. OK.

What is it like just pet, pet them, or yeah, just not too hard, but uh just like that and. Oh yeah, stroke it all the way up and like see where you are at the top right there. That's like the most sensitive part, the head. And oh, right there, yeah.

Oh, I like that. It feels so good. Oh, this is turning me on. So you can stroke up and down, but like you use two hands like that.

I mean, I think you're really good at this. Yeah, maybe it's just because you have a nice cock. Oh, thank you, honey. All right, I'll start off just slow at the bottom, the bottom, bottom.

Yeah, yeah, just like that. I like and so hard. It's super hard. It's just so big.

I don't think you've seen enough cocks. OK, you wanna like make this guy come and you're not afraid to come or anything. I don't know. So like you wanna make me come, you can make me come.

You start going faster and faster and then concentrate on the head and uh yeah, make me come harder, harder. Oh fuck yeah. Oh God. 00 my God.

00. Ah Ah I think you're, you're going to do great. Edmund, great job. OK, well, thanks, Dad.

Kevin. All right, Lauren, do you know what time it is? Uh, it's time to take a break. It is not actually.

No, it is time to talk about bikini addiction, our friend and part-time lover. Uh, they are taking over. Have you seen the photos? Everywhere.

Crazy, right? Every time I open social media, there is another beautiful, sensual, soft, smooth, arousing, hot, and sometimes wet bikini addiction bikini. Yeah, and sometimes there's a woman in that photo too. I am addicted and I learned it by watching you, OK?

You're welcome, Richard. We reached out to the elf that works. At the bikini factory, right? And he told us that we have all these different things that we want to give everybody, and you have to let them know it's up to you.

In a way, I'm the bikini Jesus. In fact, the only way that you can get a custom bikini at a discount is through Room 77 Patreon. It is really good when you have that special body because I consider my body special. It is a temple and my temple needs Twinkies.

I hear you on that. I'm just saying, every temple needs different stuff, right? Mine, mine needs Swedish fish. How many fabrics do they have?

Let's start there. They have 116 fabrics on the website. How many trims? According to my math, you can get a combination of, let me just carry the one here, 4 or 5 million.

That's what I'm saying. I think it's like over a quarter million. You can tweak all the measurements for your curves. All right, so how do you do this?

Go to bikiniadddiction.com, pick your bikini, use the promo code room 77. Now if they maybe want to treat their body like a temple, go to patreon.com/room77. For $5 and you get a discount on your custom bikini. And then you also get the Patreon Telegram bonus material, uh, if you want something in a gladiator fabric that's coming in soon.

I don't know what it's gonna look like. Well, he just found out while I'm saying it that he has to somehow find and or invent gladiator fabric. I mean I can see it in my mind. I don't know why you can't do it.

You know that meshy stuff that they wear, it's like metal. Yeah, that's the next bikini. It's awesome. Good luck with that one, Brad.

All right, Lauren, we've started, we've started. We are back in the saddle again, literally we're sitting on horses. It's a new way we just wanted to change it up a little bit. Happy trade.

We have a listener question that we were going to discuss from our listener, our Patreon member who asked us a question. And we haven't gotten around to it just like we haven't gotten around to pegging, right? But, uh, we're that next episode all about pegging, I promise, keep promising. I said that like 5 episodes.

How have you been? I've been good. Um, tell me more about that, about my goodness. I am feeling very grateful.

We're going to answer the question. I think it's a good question, but it keeps getting skipped over it. By golly, it doesn't deserve to be, to be skipped any longer. Let's do this.

Just put it down, put it on the air, and let's go. We are today. I wanted to talk about butt holes. Wait, I read my notes wrong.

Why? I want to talk about butt holes now about buttholes. I'm just kidding. All right, so here is the question.

Listen, and then we'll decide who goes first. You ready? Mistress Mimi here. I want to know about one of your earliest lifestyle experiences and some advice you can give a total newbie.

OK, so do you remember your very, very first lifestyle experience? And this is without you? Yeah, I mean, and at the time, I think that we would both admit in our situation. And probably a lot of other people would admit, and we've heard this, this before, people say, well, I was doing stuff, but I didn't know a lifestyle existed.

Like I didn't know that was a thing. So, uh, you were doing something perhaps with your significant other that was an ethical, non-monogamous something. Mine was not ethical. It wasn't moral.

Yeah, I mean. I kind of did it without my boyfriend. Oh, are you talking about Taipei? Oh, but we talked about this already.

I was talking about the other one, not about your pretend, uh, your pretend threesome with hot models in Taipei, because I choose to pretend that that doesn't exist only because I'm jealous that I wasn't there to talk about it or experience it. And how old were you when that happened? 20. 21, 21.

So 21 hot models modeling in Taipei just doing hot girl stuff together. Yeah, it's too much for my brain to handle and I'd rather not think about it. So let's just skip that one and call that an experimental period. What I was talking about is the, the other time when you wanted to have a threesome.

Do you remember that time? Maybe I'm putting you on the spot. Well, I mean, I know. You're talking about and mine was just like I kept trying to facilitate it, but nothing was ever really happening.

Oh, so that was really the only experience that you had until me was the Taipei hot threesome foursome. How many was there 5 or 6 models in that? Like, was it just a bed filled with naked models? I mean, it was like there were, you know, it was everyone's in their, their roommates there, and it's like some people started and then like, you know.

People had to go read lip gloss. Was there any guys in this, in that situation? There was one. There was, so there was a guy and then 22 girls.

You started with the girl, and then there was, who was it a guy model? Everyone was a model. We only hung out with each other and you took no photos of this. There's no photoproof of this at all.

No, I only have a photo of me and the girl together, and that was just with a double-sided dildo. No, it was like from a shoot or something because we worked together and then um we had worked on the shoot for like two days and just bonded and we're like infatuated with each other and then we all went to go play pool and then one of the guys was like said something and I don't know how I, I honestly don't even know how we ended up in bed together but we still had like clothes on and it was just like a kissing fest. It was very like not like a lifestyle. I mean, fail compared to my story, which is going to knock your socks off.

I hope so. Now that you're wearing it. I feel like I let the listener down. You did, and Mimi, who answered, asked the question, I mean she just feels empty right now.

So I'm gonna try to fill her up. Fill up Mimi. Uh, hold on, I gotta mute this. Hold on.

That's the telegram group. I know though. It's somebody from the telegram group who's trying to get in touch with me about a computer. I do computer sales on the side.

It's better than passport sales selling computers. I got like 7 of them here. Half of them are broken. I don't have time for you, sir.

Uh, so, all right, so here's my story, right? This is, I am, I could almost give you an exact, I don't really remember, but I was, I guess it's gotta be the year 1999-ish, about that, about 19. Singing Prince. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was, I was partying like it was 1999. Uh, it may have been 2000. It could have been 1998. I'm not, I honestly, I'm not quite sure.

So how old was I then? 27, 27, 28, around there. And I had a girlfriend at the time, and she was from Southern California, really, really pretty girl, tight little body. Now there was this other gal that I knew when I was started acting in, in Los Angeles.

Los Angeles and I had always had the hots for her and she was always kind of a whore, but I never ever hooked up with her. I always kind of tried, but she was always so incredibly hot and she was kind of, she wasn't famous, but she was always like working and she had like sort of famous friends, so I was kind of intimidated by her. But anyway, mixed with kind of her like little celebrity and her whorishness, I was always a little bit intimidated, but I always. Tried to hit on her kind of.

It was always, always like, oh, I would love to, but I'm a little, I'm a little intimidated if it ever did happen. Not, I'm mean, I have a girlfriend. I knew her years before I met the girlfriend. 00, OK, so I had known her before, right?

I'm just trying to make you a, a bad person. Like I was. No, no, no, I'm not nearly as horrible as you. I was in a committed relationship.

You were obviously, yeah, and did not cheat. I'm just saying that I'd known her before I knew my, my girlfriend that we're we're talking about at the time. So we have this mutual friend who lives in New York City, and we both get invited to this wedding in New York City. So, and she's younger than me, so she's got to be like 25, I guess, right?

And she was dating some guy, didn't know who it was, uh, never met him before. We have to go to. New York, uh, go to this wedding, not have to, we want to because this is, this is a really good friend of ours. It's a very, very high-end wedding.

OK, so it's, it's black tie. I have to get a tux and I have to go to New York and I have to go to this black tie wedding. So I say to my girlfriend, hey, do you want to go to this wedding? It's really cool.

Uh, I've never been to a wedding where you have to wear a tux. This sounds really cool. It's right in the middle of Manhattan. It sounds fun.

Let's fly there and do this. So I get a really cool hotel on the something something floor overlooking the city, and we do it. So we go to the wedding, and then we go to the reception, and we sit at the same table, right? The one with the girl that, right, and her new boyfriend.

Boyfriend, handsome devil, very, very handsome devil, right? Of course, because she's 25 and, in Hollywood, right? So. I don't know where it came out of, but it started, she had made, I guess, made mention that my girlfriend was really attractive, and I think I made mention of if you ever wanted to be with a girl, then this would be the time.

I mean, look, I don't know lifestyle, but I'm already using the tricks of the trade, right? I know, right? I'm already, I'm throwing it out there. My girlfriend at the time.

has no fucking idea what I'm doing right because I'm talking by myself. She's not even in the party at this time, so I'm just, I'm just throwing one out there, right? Then she comes back from the bathroom and you're like, come on, honey, we got a threesome going on. Let's do this foursome, by the way, foursome, right, because she's, she's with a guy.

So, uh, so, so I, I, I put it out there and I get a positive response for her. She's like, I would love, right. So I'm like, oh, well, what do I do with that? So I'm like, oh, I gotta go back.

I gotta float this to my new, well, not new, but my, my current girlfriend. Did y'all fantasize at all, like during the bedroom? Did y'all really, not really. I gotta be honest, it wasn't really ever brought up, wasn't really ever talked about.

It wasn't really a thing. It would have been pretty taboo to talk about like, oh, I'd love to see you with another girl. It was never ever brought up. Why would that be taboo?

I don't know. It's just, it would. Just be because she was a like goody goody, yeah, I guess, I guess it was just something that she didn't really ever go into her wants and needs of bisexuality like it would be like why would you think that I would wanna be with another girl. I don't, I don't know.

OK, I was just curious. I, I just, it just never came up. So it was really, it was, it was a Hail Mary throwing that out there like, hey, uh, you wanna hook up with my friend Robin. But lo and behold, holy shit, she was like, that sounds really sexy.

And then I'm like, I gotta go to the other side of the room and start working the other side now. So, immediately, even in my twenties, before the lifestyle, before I even knew it existed, I'm already doing that used car salesman thing where you're brokering a deal between two couples to sort of make this happen. You know, I, I say to her, you know, hey, would you, would you be into that because it sounds really sexy, we can go back to my hotel room. And she's like, well, I gotta talk to my boyfriend and see what his feelings are.

Now, I think they were dating for like a week or something, right? So his reaction naturally is like, hell yeah, let's do this. Right? There's no, there's absolutely no connection there whatsoever.

This dude just, he's just at a wedding and doesn't know anybody, right? And here's this guy and this girl, and he's like, I'm gonna see some girl on girl action. So we go back to the hotel, and what's amazing about And that it's my first time is that it really looked like a Cinemax movie because we're in tuxes and they're in gowns and there's like the skyline of Manhattan and we're all getting undressed and it's not like this lifestyle sex now where we're like, all right, chop chop, everybody take your clothes off, get undressed. We know what we're here for.

Yeah, no, there's a lot of like Cinemax clothes, let me. off your clothes, let me rip off your bow tie, and, and, and a lot of sexy, you know, teasing and anticipation to this because it is the unknown, and it is really, really exciting because you have no idea what you're getting into and actually what you're, you're doing. So I remember the, the girls were sort of experimenting with one another, and that led to me kissing her for the first time. Which was sort of OK.

I can't remember if I asked permission or not. I really don't remember, which leads me to another thing like where I'm like, I don't know if that was even appropriate, really. Before I knew it, everybody was naked, and I mean, we were naked in this beautiful room in front of the window, and we had to be on the 30th or 40th floor. It was, uh, a Columbus Circle, and it was actually Trump's hotel.

This is before his TV show, his presidency. He stole nuclear secrets and toner. It was all before that, like, just, he was just a hotel guy and, uh, you know, it was just, it was right on Central Park West, really spectacular. So, what I remember most about this is we got to the point where I remember he was having sex with her, right?

And I was just sort of watching them fucking and we're we're going at it, my girlfriend and I, and we're having an amazing time and. My friend, the girl sort of bends over next to me, obviously like, fuck me, right? And by the way, no condoms in sight. Yeah, it's not planned.

Who knows what you're gonna do? Like, you don't have safe sex. No, no, you don't 90s, no, this is, yeah, we're free balling it in the 90s. I don't even think they invented condoms then.

I don't even know, but that's how you did it. No, I don't even know. But there are no, you don't know any of the, yeah, because you're not planning any of this. It's so random, right?

So I remember she sort of backs her ass into me. She backs it up. I take my cock and I start to put my cock inside of her. And wham, I mean, I get punched so fucking hard and I don't remember.

I don't remember if she punched me or kicked me or something. I just remember being jolted and it was like cock in your hand like what I mean if you could imagine it was as if someone, if you were watching that Cinemax movie and someone came in and took your TV and threw it on the floor. Because, and you were just like, what the fuck? And I looked at her face and thought, oh, I can't just fuck her.

What is wrong with me? I can't just do that. I guess she has a problem with me fucking another girl. So I did not actually fuck her from her face, like looking at me like that dick goes anywhere, we're gonna have some fucking issues.

So, we sort of finished up, uh, without having sex, we, we, we had sex with one another, my girlfriend and I. Obviously he did not have sex with my girlfriend, but he probably could have, I really wouldn't have cared, um. But I remember even back then, honestly, I would not find, I would not discover the lifestyle for what it would be another 4 or 55 years later with, with you, I guess, uh, it's till meeting you that I would sort of discover it. Even back then, I remember the height of sex with her after that was amazing for weeks.

Just from talking about the, yeah, just the experience. Did you guys talk about it while you were having sex after that? I don't quite remember. I just remember the, the afterglow of it was, was pretty amazing.

That's awesome. Yeah, but we never did it again, never did anything like that ever, ever again. Well, it sounds like with that particular setup, I don't know how you could top something like that unless there was equal play, but the setup, it sounds like erotic and. It is, but, and that's, I think that's funny that you say, say the word setup like in your mind when, when you're not aware of the lifestyle, that's sort of exactly it.

You're, you're thinking in a, in a mind frame of how would that ever line up like that again. It won't, that will never ever line up again with, with anybody else. That's sort of, you just sort of move on. But I guess it takes a certain mind to be like, hey, let's go out and search for it now.

That's where you came in. You filthy, filthy woman. Well, I mean, I honestly, I, I feel like you, like I didn't know what the lifestyle was, but I knew I wanted to do performance sex. I wanted to have sex where my boyfriend watched me with someone else.

I wanted to be with another woman and with my boyfriend. I wanted to try different things, and I knew that my boyfriend at the, at the time, the. Not the one that I was with in Taipei because he was like controlling and weird. But the one that I had afterwards was so open and he was, we just talked about everything.

So we had talked about fantasy stuff, but you never did it, but we never got in. So it was me who came into your life, so your actual first lifestyle experience would have been with me and the very young girl that we brought into our bedroom, which eventually you made me stop talking to you because you're like, hm, she's done. Yeah, because she would. Like, reach out to you privately and I was like, this makes me uncomfortable.

And I didn't really know much about it, you know, again, we didn't know much about the lifestyle, but I knew that that wasn't making me feel good. And I didn't know why. So I was like, I don't want you to talk to her anymore. And you're like, OK, done.

You know, because it's not worth it to you, but it was someone that you had obviously, you had known for a while and that's why we called her up and brought her in. But yeah, I met that girl in a pet store. That's a true story. Back when they were legal, well, no, no, no, they weren't selling pets.

They were selling pet food and, and stuff like that. Yeah, I wasn't like when I would go in to pet the puppies, I'd buy my pet food in there. Dork, and she came over one day, had sex, and then kept having sex with her, and then you came along. I was like, Hey, you wanna have sex with this girl?

And you were like, Sure, and we did. And then that's what started the whole lifestyle. We started the lifestyle, you and I, I believe, before lifestyle sites were even a thing. I don't think lifestyle sites existed when we started.

When we first started, lifestyle sites did not exist. No, we were in AOL chat. You had to use AOL. Chat ASL and if you know what that means, you have to message or send us an email.

I'm just a lot of people know what it means. They, they, they know what it means. And you know, I read these, somebody sent me this Cosmo article that said, um, the new generation doesn't like the term swingers. They just don't like it.

Hey, assholes, neither do we. We inherited it. We didn't invent it. You think we want it?

There's just, there's just no other name. It makes us think of keys. You can't just say I don't like it. You have to come with an option and come up with great assholes come up with another name.

What'd you come up with? What'd you come up with? Better than lifestyle. We don't like that one either, but we're stuck with it.

So until you, new generation kids come up with something better, uh, let us know. I think they came up with open. That's about it. Um, we don't really like the word swingers.

We just more like open relationship. Well, that means something else, doesn't it? That's something completely different vague. That's vague.

That's as confusing as lifestyle. It really is. When we first started the podcast, it was, it's not swingers, it's ethical non-monogamy. That's what it is.

My reaction is, I'm not garbling that amount of syllables when I'm describing myself, so you can fuck off with that. Also, swingers, I'm fine with that. It's two syllables. Everybody knows what it is.

We're done talking about it. But I'm open to, I'm open to suggestions. Don't build on it. Just make sure it's two syllables or less.

Yes. All right, so after that long-windedness of my Skinemax movie, what is the second part of that question? Is your microphone facing the correct direction? Yeah.

What would we do or what would we say to newbies that we Advice to. Snoopy, um, well, it depends. I mean, if you're starting like you don't know you're starting, it's hard to give advice because you don't know what you're starting, but if you are starting and you know you're starting and you're conscious of it, uh, start slow, start slow because you can never ever, you can always count on emotions that you never ever put into. To your variable or your scenarios to sneak up on you.

You always think you have everything sort of covered even if you put it in a, in a spreadsheet, you know, you, you put it in as a line item while we got all our bases covered and then wham, you get hit with a memory from 1987 that brings you back to your father and you're like that. Hurt me inside and everybody's confused. You have to allow patience for that. You have, you have to allow yourself to go slowly, room for those emotions to sort of creep in and then deal with them and then move beyond them.

Well, I don't know if our listener, if she's going into it by herself or if she's going in with her. Partner, do you know? I don't know. I don't know if she has a partner.

Um, I don't, I don't know because that would be sort of different advice, I think, if you're, you know, my advice if you're going in by yourself would be to, to know that whatever you think in fantasy world is, it's not gonna end up unfortunately like you're awesome. Uh, Skinnimax movie that you just described, or my modeling, uh, pile of models in, in Taipei. It's not, it's a little more manufactured, take that expectation off of it. So, if she is going in by herself, then I would tell her it's very different advice than if she's going in with her partner.

Single women getting into the lifestyle is really, really hard. Single men getting into the lifestyle is really, really hard. It's just difficult. I feel bad for people who, uh, were in relationships and then want to get back into another relationship that want to be in the lifestyle because that is also really, really difficult.

That's why we're starting a new website, Singles only for lifestyles. Lifestyle singles swangles swingles swingles swing swingles, right swingles.com and then as soon as we clear that with Pringles, maybe they'll sponsor it. Oh, they so would get your fists stuck in that hole. Nailed it.

Write that one down. That's what they'll use with swingles. Get your fist stuck in that hole. It's a, it's a no-brainer.

We don't need an ad agency. Don't even need an ad agency. Put the money into something else. If you're going in with with your partner, I would also think about say I want to see this like that's sort of, you know, when I was trying to convince my my ex to be like, hey, let's, I want to do this it was very specific.

I knew what I wanted to happen. I knew how I wanted it to to play out. I tried to make it happen and even when you and I like we didn't necessarily. have our experience and then, you know, we were like, we didn't really know what the lifestyle was either.

We just went to vanilla places and we're like yeah we just went to bars and hey, let's try and get that one abducted human beings basically yeah, because we, we wanted stuff to happen and so, you know, you're trying to get that person to participate in this fantasy that you have. One of the worst questions that we get is, or I'm sure a lot of people get, not just us, but. One of the worst questions we get is from somebody out there who says, hey, I wanna get my wife or husband into the lifestyle. How do I convince her?

It is, it's such a cringe-worthy worthy question. Be careful to listen to their responses. If somebody is like, Yeah, I'm just, I'm just not into it, you're gonna have to deal with it somehow because trying to trick somebody or trying to fool somebody into the lifestyle. Like, which does happen.

People aren't stupid. Your partner knows you really, really well. Chances are they're going to see right through it. And if they don't, it's just going to feel like you're being manipulative.

So that's why a lot of people will say, just be honest, just communicate with one another and listen to what your partner's saying. Well, even you were trying to convince your girlfriend, but it was a one night thing. So when you tried to convince her, when you tried to sell it, like you. We're saying it wasn't like, let's do this for our whole relationship.

It was just like, this is an opportunity. Well, yeah, I mean, I, I think the difference in that situation is, is somebody who has a little bit less of a moral compass might say, hey, why don't we, uh, why don't we all go back to the room and just fucking hang out and drink a little bit. That's a little bit different with me than it would be with somebody else. I'm gonna be a little more upfront and be like, hey, she wants to lick your cunt.

Yes, I just said cunt. And then she slapped me. She said, why did I tell you, don't use the word cunt. And I'm like, I'm sorry, pussy.

She wants to lick your pussy. Again, you know, you handle a situation like that. You say, well, let's just go back to the room, right? You put the person in the room and then you see your partner start to make, people aren't stupid.

You go, Oh, he knows this girl. He's interested in this girl. It's a whole, it's a whole different scenario. Then it seems like you were just trying to get in bed with her, which I was.

I mean, but I let her in on it. That's the difference now. Now it's us. I want this to happen.

I'm just slightly manipulating by saying, hey, do you want to be with another girl, which has still hasn't changed in the lifestyle. It still happens at every, almost every lifestyle party you go to. You ask a girl who's not even bi, Can I make out with you? Yes, you can, honey.

I think this is my decision. Girls first, go to the bed first, get started. Yeah, and that's, you know, it's gonna take a little while till that changes. It's, it's changing a little bit now, I think.

I'm sure it is. I don't know. I'm not invited to those parties. I'm too old, but, um, I hear it's changing.

All right, I'm done with this. All right, Lauren, well, we told the story about you and your first experience with your stepfather while you're a modeling in a skyscraper in New York City. I think they're gonna be really pleased. I think that they're gonna be confused and also subscribe to Cinemax.

I am not getting my stories confused here and you having your first model. sexual experience with your stepdad. Um, I never knew you had a stepdad. That's how crazy this is.

I didn't either. That's why it was so weird. I know, can't wait to meet Kevin. Yeah, we just wanted to say thank you to all the patreons.

We're putting that video up on Patreon, so if you want to be dirty and disgusting and go watch stepdaughter porn. Then join the tier to go and watch it, have a wank or a rub or whatever it is that you do in the privacy of your own home or in your local Starbucks, wherever you do it. I don't know. Oh my God, I dare somebody.

I would refund the price of the tier if they did that. I would send them a check. Yeah, well, sort of. However, I will not bail you out of jail.

No, that's not included. In the check. Uh, but thank you to the Patrons and also thank you to these last people for getting rid of your dandruff and becoming patreons. Uh, this is the last part of the list that we left out.

Dan, M and D, Billy, Rebecca, Jordan, Golf Guy 23, Elsie Staggin, Vixen, Antonio, Aquiish, Courtney, Ashley Del Toro, Bo Blo, Work hard, play Harder, NBC, and Lionel. Thank you all. Uh, and really quick, uh, flirtation still sold out, but you can still get on the waiting list. Go to room 77life.com, get on the waiting list and come to the party with us if you can, or just wait outside with a sign and hold it up and we'll wave from a window.

You can swim on the beach behind it if you want. Yeah, just grab a floaty, get your unicorn, and. Oh, you know what we should do is tell people to get boats and come up to the resort and just dock. That, that's what you do and just swim ashore.

Just buy a boat and then, uh, yeah, join. It would be fun. Also, bang 2023, we still do not have dates yet. Um, that is not our fault.

That is the fault of someone else that I'll leave nameless, whose name starts with Jay. So we will get those dates as soon as possible. Summer bang 2023. Next episode, all about pegging.

All pegging, yeah, putting stuff in my butt. Anybody's butt, really. No, the next episode we are going on a little road trip and we're gonna take a visit back in time and we're gonna tell a story not unlike the, the Kevin story, which by the way, was a story of redemption. This story next week or next month or whenever it goes up, I don't know, will also be a story of redemption.

I love that they are all stories of redemption. Yeah, they're not all stories of redemption. Some of them are stories of rebirth. It's just another way of saying redemption.

All right, everyone, it was a pleasure talking to you and being dirty for you. Go get some gas, get off that treadmill, hit the showers, get out of that hot tub, get out of that store and go to Starbucks. Finish those dishes. Stop doing it.

Go to Starbucks and rub one out. Talk to you next time. Bye guys. And that about does it for us.

For more information, visit us at room 77life.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.