Ep. 29: How To Use Drugs and Toys At Temptation Resort

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Fed up with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now we. We do what we love. Work, party, and play at the Desire resorts. After 16 years in the lifestyle, we thought we saw it all.

We were so wrong. So wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day.

So come to room 77. Let's play. All right, Lauren, we have started officially. Can I do this one with gum in my mouth?

I doubt it, but you could try. I can't. I can already hear. I can hear it.

You the trouble that I'm causing for my editing. How are you feeling? I am feeling pale. Yeah, you are pale.

We've been away from the sun for quite some time, so I went to drop bags today, and Kia. Making fun of me because I was so pale. You are really white right now. Also, the blood is leaving my body, and I am turning as white as a sheet out of just fear.

This is a difficult episode because the last one we got such great feedback, 20 something. I don't remember. It was the one where the girls victimized me. And gave you a migraine and raped me with consent.

We have so many things to talk about that we have to sort of condense it down into a sort of murky soup that is not gonna be as sexy as the last one. Just let it be a podcast about January. That fellow or lady that's listening depends on me and you to get through some things in life, to smile, and it makes me feel bad if they don't. Where do we start?

I don't know. There's so much to tell. We have to go all the way back to. Desire New Year's Eve, I guess it was December 31st.

Decided to go out and be with the world and have a New Year's Eve party with the people up there, which I think went pretty well. How do you think it went? Well, I feel like it's not something we normally get to do. And so I was really excited about going up and letting my hair down.

I mean, I, it sounds stupid, but while we were getting dressed, literally walking out the door, I looked down on the floor and there was little black. Black marks. Little black marks. What is going on with the floor?

Who's marking up the floor? So I look at the bottom of my shoes because I think I'm tracking something. What I didn't know is my shoes are melting. The soles off of my shoes.

Everything is falling apart. I don't know what it is with the humidity here, but it eats rubber. It doesn't like shoes because this is my second pair that is falling apart right in front of my eyes. I don't have any other shoes.

You have to wear those. That's it. So we duct tape. them.

We had to think fast. We were like, what do I do? If I can just get through the first part of the night, then surely I can go barefoot the rest of the night and then just toss them because I won't need black shoes. Maybe someone will get married.

Who knows? So we went up there. Now I had every intention of going up there and having some hot public sex with you that night. I would have hoped that you would have because I love getting dressed up for you.

I love getting all dolled up for things like New Year's Eve. I love when you get dressed up for. I don't really get to see it that much anymore, but I just love watching you enjoy getting ready for something. That's my favorite part is watching because I know you enjoy that part of it.

I do. I really do. Different for me when I made you same night iron my tie while it was still on my neck because I was too lazy to retie the knot. Just iron it without me on my neck.

I don't care. Here, just be careful. How would you describe New Year's Eve at Desire? I thought that it was festive.

It was the perfect temperature. It was people that we had met, not from our view. Like, if you're going there, if you're thinking, hey, I want to go there next year, how would you describe the, the feel there? Festive.

You said that already. You're not allowed to use the word festive anymore. It's extremely festive. It's a good group of people who are ready to have a good time.

You go get a nice dress. The guys wear suits, fancy. There's outdoor dinner tables. Like all around the pool, there's dinner tables for, I don't even know if it's like a tent top or something.

So they take the pool area and they clear out all the deck chairs and all the crap, and they put a. A bunch of tables there. There was a theme. It was roaring twenties, very close to roaring twenties, which I still think would have been a little bit better.

And there was one guy that I had met down by the pool, and he was in full gear like Tobey Maguire in what's that book called? The Harry Potters. They're very famous book. They made a movie into it, Lord of the Rings.

No. I can't believe you're actually asking me a movie question. You know all about the literature crap. Oh, Gatsby, The Great Gatsby.

So this dude was dressed up in the exact clothing, and I'm not kidding. It was like 7 layers, and I said, How are you feeling? He was like, I'm really hot. I'm so hot.

Everything was wool. He looked good though. He had like a Three-piece suit on. Then they do the countdown in the lobby area and then we dance the night away.

Then I look down. The soles of my shoes are all over the dance floor in like an imprinted area as to where I danced. My shoes literally fell apart on the dance floor, and that was the end of them bending down and picking up these rubber so that. It was the end of the shoes.

They quit on me and then we went to the jacuzzi. I remember taking my shirt off. I put my cock ring on. It was pretty, uh, uneventful.

Yeah, we missed it. Our timing was way off. We missed everything. We were dancing too much or something.

I, I can't remember at what time, but my body said, uh, hey, Richard, you are about to black out. So you need to shut it the fuck down. I went home and you literally put me to bed and tucked me in. You're welcome.

I didn't rape you anally. The night would have ended well. That happened. It's a different position.

So all in all, it's a good time up there if you decide to go to. Desire any one of the desires and spend New Year's Eve there, right? I think it's a good time. I mean, it's a little more expensive, a lot more expensive, I think, but if you wanna go, they're usually sold out.

Yeah, that's the thing. So I would plan ahead. Book New Year's Eve tomorrow, pause it and book right now. Don't forget to book through us.

All right, moving on. After that, the next thing we do is we take our trip back to the United States. I was a ball of stress before we went back to the United States to New Jersey to see my family, not so much because I had to see my family or because of New Jersey or anything like that, purely because of the weather. I was so afraid of the cold that I didn't wanna go.

I, I'm just. I'm like, I live in the tropics now. I, I can't deal with that. They were like, hey, it's pretty warm here right now, 40 degrees, and it hurt.

It's like you forget, I guess, how cold feels. I know that sounds weird, but it was like, oh, I can do this. Like I'm associating the, the color of the light or the color of outside. Everything is brown and dead because it should be.

Nature's like. You guys should all get the fuck out of here like we do. Just go to sleep. My balls tried to crawl inside of my liver for warmth.

They were so tight against my body. They were like little puppies huddling up against one another for warmth. You know how they do that? And that's the entire trip.

They're not descending at all. It was fun going back despite the cold. I mean, we saw family. I thought they were gonna ask a little more questions about what are you doing down in Mexico.

I was prepared to say something, but nobody asked. Isn't that strange? Not with my family. I mean, like, I wasn't nervous about it or anything after the very last night.

I'm like, why did no one ask? No one cares. No one loves me. No one cares.

Just good to see you. It's fine. Go do whatever it is you're doing down there. Good luck.

Bye. So the only sexy thing we did that, we went to a lifestyle club, Pleasure Garden, is that what it's called? Pleasure Garden, right? And our friends were gracious enough to sort of set us up to go there and take care of us, and we met them at a hotel in Center City, Philadelphia, and it's snowing this day, mind you, speaking of the cold weather, the Uber dropped us off 40 ft from the door.

I needed sled dogs and a Sherpa. To just get to the front entrance. Now I'm not gonna do a review of the club here. If you wanna see a review of the Pleasure Garden, then you can go to our website and see it.

Sex on the Fringe, who you can find on Twitter, sex on the fringe, and a blog and a blog. They're really great bloggers. They did a review on this club, so I'm gonna stay away from doing that. I'm just gonna tell you our experiences there.

Spoiler alert. We didn't play with anyone. I really expected a different vibe because the one that we used to go to in Los Angeles or outside of Los Angeles, uh, we should say, it was very different. Now I don't wanna say trashy.

I don't really wanna say rundown. I don't wanna say random. It's sort of, but it actually looked like sort of a strip club like. If you had walked into a strip club, it sort of had that vibe to it, right?

That's what I liked about it. There was such a variety of people, and they just got down and ready to have a good time. And so, yeah, like the place in LA, Freedom Acres, was like the Winchester Mansion. They just sort of kept building on a lot of fun, don't get me wrong.

This place was sort of open and had, what do you call it, architecture. Now, the cool thing was, is we saw a lot of people there unexpectedly that we knew from Desire. We hung out. We met a friend of our friend.

They were pretty hot, then they disappeared. I was sort of having fun talking to them for a little bit. Speaking of talking, and this is probably the only thing that I didn't like about this club or any club or anything in life. is when it's too loud.

I'm sorry, it, it is just too damn loud. Not that I'm just an old man when it comes to noise. The one of the things that I really enjoy in the lifestyle is chatting with people, talking, making jokes, finding out about them, and a conversation there was always followed by the same thing. What?

Say that again. At one point I just wanted to lean my chin on people's shoulders, say, let's just talk like this, but I did. I gave up. I sort of gave up early into the night.

You got quiet and I got worried. I did. I got really quiet because I was like, I can't hear anybody. I can't have a normal conversation with anybody.

And if you are out there as our listeners. are about to open a lifestyle club, make sure to have a section where you can just talk and the music isn't so loud that you can make that social connection. We were talking to our friend who brought us there and she was like, yeah, the only way that you can really connect here is on the dance floor by like sort of bumping and grinding. That's really it.

That's how you sort of do some. Sort of weird mating dance. It totally is right like those birds and then go land in, in a playroom. There's two sort of separate playrooms.

So there's the playroom and then there's a BDSM room part. So it's like you went in there and it was dark and there was a bunch of furniture, yeah, they had different furniture hanging cages and stuff like this, ironically. The best part. Ironically, the people were fucking on just a bar table.

So it's like you have all these awesome props in here and you just picked a bar table. So, A, I can't set my drink down because you're using it to fuck. Hey, lady, go use that awesome stockade. There's a fucking stockade right there.

Go get fucked in that thing and I can set my drink down. All right, what room are you in? 2312. What room are you in?

2202. What room are you in? 55. What room are you in?

2302. What room are you in? 37. All right, I have a question for you.

What kind of weather is the sexiest weather? Well, when you're in Cancun, it's sunshine, but I would say cold weather. So you can snuggle in front of a fireplace. What is the sexiest weather for you?

Wherever women have their tops off. A balmy evening with warm, humid air and a little. Bit of a breeze. Does the temperature affect your horniness?

No. Does the temperature affect your horniness? Yeah, we'll try and have sex and he'll like toss the comforter back. It's like having sex with a burrito, not very exciting.

Tiest weather, hot, like here hot? Yes, here hot. Texasexiest weather, uh, the sultry sunset at the end of a hot day like this. That is so super specific.

Can you say that again? The sultry sunset at the end of a day like today. We're gonna make out. Oh, I like it wet.

A snowy winter day in front of a fireplace bear skin rug. I don't think that is true. Does weather or temperature affect your libido at all? No, not in the slightest.

Yes, because outdoors is our favorite place. I have to be warm enough. It does not, not at all. Weather affects your libido?

Not at all. I don't like to be really hot and sticky. You're in Cancun, Mexico. I like the air conditioning.

You're horny no matter what the temperature is, as long as I'm with her. Do you hibernate in the winter? A member of mine does. Yes, when it gets cold.

Does weather or temperature affect your libido? I know it, it tends to deplete your vitamin D because once it gets cold out, she's just like, I need the D. You're sexy, but you're not so smart. D stands for dick.

We'll talk later, we'll talk later. What do you think is better for a theme party, Roaring Twenties or whoring twenties? Whoaring all the way. Pouring.

I'm gonna go roaring twenties. Whoaring, roaring for sure. It would give a whole new definition to flapper if you went with whoring. Roaring or whoring?

Whoring, whoring, boring. Uh, boring, boring, ring, boring. I think, I think we have enough votes to get it changed. Will you start using this phrase for me?

I don't even know it. Hold on. Go lose your souls on the dance floor. Would you start using that and try to make it popular?

I mean, yes, it's got a place. Go lose your soul on the dance floor. No, awesome, thank you for your support. Would you help me hashtag or make go lose your soul on the dance floor popular?

Absolutely. You would do that for me? I would totally do it. Will you tweet it right now?

I would go ahead, go. Do it damn it, you don't have a Twitter account. That'll help. Would you guys help me make the phrase go lose your, go lose your souls on the dance floor popular?

Do you think it's possible? It's corny as hell, but I'll do it for you. I appreciate it. Thank you very, very much.

Yes, absolutely. Would you do that for me? 100%. Will you start using the phrase go lose your souls on the dance floor?

No, I have self-respect. I'm gonna ask you again, will you start making the phrase, go lose your souls on the dance floor popular for me? No, you're not. Your husband is dead to me.

I'm putting my penis back on your wife. Will you start using the phrase for me, go lose your souls on the dance floor. I don't think I can do that. Alright, but what if I told you it's not soul, S O U L, it's soul, S O L E.

Oh, it's a pun now. That makes it worse. What is the number one way that you flirt with people? Like dancing, eye contact?

I joke. You joke. I joke, yeah, that's my way of breaking down walls. What do you do when they find out you have zero sense of humor?

What would you say is your number one flirting technique? Your husband says it's humor, which is hilarious. Sarcasm. What is the number one way you flirt?

My lips. They're working. Oh, she's licking them. Number one way of flirting with someone.

Eye contact. It's all about eye contact. Oh, with my eyes, eyes, a smile and a look. Definitely a smile.

My eye contact, touching my body. Do it. I'm yours. What is your number one way of flirting?

Footwear oriented pickup lines like lose your soul on the dance floor, catching on, see it's catching on. All right, Lauren, we are back and we decide we are going to this hotel party. We are gonna jump back in to get in. We have not been whoring enough, so we need to go whore it up, hore it up where it's warm as it should be.

My balls are now back to normal. Oh my God, they have descended a little bit, so we go to this hotel party, but we're actually pretty shy. We see a few people that we we. I know that we've run into before that sort of live inside of the community and we were eating at one point and I see this couple walk through the door.

I'm like, oh, I know these people, but they're not in their spot. They come over to the table and they're like, Hey guys, it's really great to see you again. And immediately I'm like, I know who you are. You knew exactly who they were.

Yeah, I just had no idea what their names were. Way better than me. I mean, you knew who they were, where they had come. From, except, but you had a lingering feeling.

They walk away and I'm immediately like, Where the fuck do we know them from? And you're like, they were these people and we met them at the resort, really hot couple. I don't normally say I want to fuck this person, but he was one of those. He was one of those.

So you say to me, you were like, I have this feeling that I have unfinished business with them. I don't know what it is though, and I'm like. Well, don't ask me because I forget everything. All right, well, why don't you just go ask them what happened and you go down and you sit at the table and you ask them.

I said, I'm sorry. I, I just don't know why do I have this feeling of unfinished business with you guys. They just start smiling immediately because that's the kind of people that they are. They started off, well, we were going to email you, and I'm like, Oh shit.

They never contacted us again. Uh, so we had actually played with them or attempted to play with them, and it didn't really work out so well. Now it was all my fault, by the way. It was all my fault.

Thank God it wasn't uncomfortable. We went down to the pool and we started talking to them a little bit more, and now more of their clothes are off, and I see them. I'm like, holy shit, they're really hot. I forgot how hot they were, and I'm just digging a little bit more.

What happened because I can't quite remember, but I had said to him, whatever was bothering you because he blamed it on himself. I said, well, whatever is bothering you, it clearly didn't make that bad of an impression on me or Lauren because we don't even remember, so it didn't stick in our head as bad. If it was that bad, uh, we would have obviously remembered it. And he was like, well, things just moved a little too fast for me, and it was our first time.

Yeah, we're like, are you kidding me, Richard and Lauren again doing bad things to good people. And then as soon as he said that, I'm like, OK, all right, I do remember them saying, Yeah, we want to do something. No, this is where it was my fault because then it all came back to me, right? It's a flood.

It all came back to me, and I remember that this was one of the situations where I was. Like, I gotta get this started. I'm gonna just start going at it really fast. And I was like, you know, I'm really sorry.

Sometimes I can move really fast or really quickly because we want to get started or we feel like there's tension in the air as far as awkward time. I said, but also we do have a selfish fetish depending on the situation, sometimes kind of almost anonymous as possible, so we like getting. To know people, but we also like, hey, let's go to the room and fool around, boom, boom, boom, and it just sort of happens. I said, and I remember being in that mood.

Let's just go back and play, and, and that's a selfish thing on my part. So at no time am I thinking, hey, you wanna do a redo, because I'm like, it's just gonna freak them out even more. But we wind up talking to them more and, and hanging out with them sort of all day to the point where we're like. I got you alone and I was like, I don't wanna crowd their space because we're just taking up all of their time.

Yeah, we're the clingy friends. They walk up to us and they say, don't leave. Hey, we just wanted to let you know if we're crowding your space, it was like, no, we're not crowding your space. We're we're crowding yours.

It's, it's all good. We meet them sort of later on and just out of nowhere he's like, Hey, um, you wanna do some drugs. Well, uh, And we're not real drug people, especially me. I mean, you can handle drugs, but I, I'm like, you're a druggie, like one below a crackhead.

But me, I'm like, what kind of drugs? She's like, it's just, it's Molly, it's MDMA. I'm like, I, I, I don't really do Molly often. I, I, I don't know.

Ask Lauren. I mean, before I even ask you, you swallowed the pill. I'm like, do you wanna, oh, she swallowed the pill. Oh, good, funny, funny, it's not true.

So boom, pop Molly crazy. I set the place on fire. No, this is like the weakest Molly ever. That's how good it was.

Yeah, it was really good. So he's like, Take another one. We're like, OK, let's take another one and another one and another one again. I'm like, at no point am I gonna be the one that's like, You guys wanna come back to our room because I have no idea, but then he says it.

You guys wanna hang out in the room a little bit? Yes, we do. Did he ever say what at what point did he switch and divulge? We're up for playing.

Well, they had started talking about toys like the Sybian and other things they have at their house, and they were talking specifically about this one tool, tool, tool. It's called the His Smith, the ultimate penetrating pleasure machine. I'm looking at it on the web page right now. It was ultimate.

This thing is amazing, and we brought it with us. Then he was like, Do you guys wanna go back? And we're like, All right, let's go back there and, uh, maybe try more drugs. I don't know.

What else you got? You got some coca? No, you're done. Let's go cook some meth.

So we go into the, the room and we start talking to them a little bit. Now I'm being very careful. Like, I am not going to just hop on the bed and start jerking off because I usually, that's what I usually do. And, uh, they, they bring up the, the machine again, the, the hissmith, his Smith, I don't know.

They're not endorsing this. Who gives a shit. So there it is, lying on the floor, and he said, do you wanna try it? We were like, yeah, he's like, All right, well, it doesn't really work on the bed that well.

We have to do it on the floor. He's like, I'm gonna lay down some towels, and we're gonna and some pillows, and we're just gonna try it on the floor. I love when shit like this happens because people are like, they already have it planned out. They like the way that they do it.

She says, well, uh, she'll go first, sets up the entire thing. It's a lot of. Set up and it's sort of we have to go, yeah, you gotta, you gotta go look at this thing, right? We surround her like she's about to be sacrificed.

I get up by her head he's sort of down by her clit. The thing starts to go and it starts to go slow. You sort of lube her up and she's just lying there and it's sort of going close to her vagina, but it's just sort of, she has it just sort of touching her clit and sort of rubbing. And then he starts sort of pulling the machine or the thing and pulling it a little bit closer and sort of starts guiding it in and then boom, she starts going nutty.

I at this point, or while the machine is fucking, it's just sort of going and going and you keep doing this thing with your arm. It's like a choo choo train. Yeah, it is like a choo choo train. That's exactly what it looks like.

It looks like a choo choo train, the hoo hoo train, trademark. Don't steal that trademark, the hoo hoo train. Right, and I start playing with a clip and she is losing her mind, and I'm like, I don't know if she's just responding to this. I don't know if Lauren is going to respond to this, but this is super hot.

So now at this point I'm sort of kind of sitting on her face and she's sort of playing with me and he's playing with her and her hands are all over her and we're just sort of surrounding her. So then it was your turn. Uh, we lie, we laid you down, lied you down or laid you down, lied you down. You lied down.

You laid down. I think you lied down. No, right? I don't think laid you down.

We started to do it to you. He told her he's like, What? You put the lube on her and get her lubed up. And so she was, she was down there and then he just sort of put it closer.

It was really going really slow, and he put it closer and then he just told me to tell her to just scoot up to it. It's basically just a dildo that is attached to the to the ho hoo train, to, to a locomotive. What moves the locomotive wheels. It wasn't a huge dildo.

It was just sort of a normal dildo, I guess. You sort of start getting into it. I'm sitting on your face again. I'm touching her.

No doubt that the molly is playing an effect on my touching because, oh my God, everybody feels so fucking good. This is the best thing ever, ever. I just can't stop touching everything. They bring a vibrator over and she was the only one that could.

God, she was, she was the only one who knew how to turn this thing on or operate it in any way, shape or form. She was the master of it, and they put the vibrator on you. He turns it on. A little bit.

So now I'm on top of you, she's on top of you, he's on top of you, you start to orgasm. When you start to orgasm, it's really exciting for me because you are not the easiest person to have an orgasm with. It is, it takes a lot of different things to line up. Yeah, and it's in a setting outside of you and I where you are the center of attention.

I rarely you get in your head. We should do, uh, a workshop about it called The Art of Touch where everyone does Molly. Can we do that legally? Oh my God, it would be so hello.

Welcome to the Art of Touch. Here's your Molly, bottle of water and your Molly. Come back in 45 minutes. Take your glow stick.

Then they start using the vibrator on you and you start to orgasm even more and then even more and then more and that orgasm lasted. How long did it last? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was like 27 minutes. Crazy.

I turned into the one screaming in the hotel, which is so out of character. The people from outside the hotel room, but I didn't want to tell anybody because I didn't want to upset your mind. And be like, hey, there's a group of people outside trying to figure out if we're killing someone in here or not. So they were, they were on the beach.

So we'll try to look at. I was like, OK, wrap it up. All right, sister, tap out. Here we go.

Other people here, right? And you're like, Keep it going, keep it going, and enough of that. She's finished. Who wants my cock?

So it was so super hot for me, but at the same time I was like, you little selfish bitch, uh, knock it off. It was so intense. Again, I think maybe the molly had something to do with it. We're all sort of huddled up, touching one another.

We were just a clump sitting on the floor, just sort of touching and, and finger tipping everybody, and I think somebody said, Oh, skin feels so good. I think she did. Went on for like another hour or so, not with the hohoo train, but. It was one of the nicest, uh, play sessions that we had ever had, which I thought was great because knowing that it came from a situation that didn't start so well or that went, forgive the pun, but the train went off the tracks.

The ho hoo train went off the tracks the first time, they didn't hold any ill will and they were open enough and they trusted us enough to try it again. Again, and I learned a really good lesson. My way isn't always the best way because you had said like it's the best way to do it, but it's not though, because people have different ways of getting in the mood, and that means guys and gals equally because we sometimes think that guys just want to get down and get to it as fast as possible. That's not necessarily the case.

Getting through that awkward point of let's get started, he had said. You know, he learned a valuable lesson because at that point in time when you were like, it's the awkward moment. I'm just gonna say let's just jump on the bed, he didn't know yet to say we prefer to take it slowly. So it's like sometimes like this you get that second chance and once you've learned sort of where you are with each other, then it's really good sitting here playing with my cock just thinking about it now.

We could do stuff about that, yeah, we could if we had the hohoo train. So I don't know how these people got this mechanism in their luggage without being detained by the government. If someone could please bring one down here, Lauren would love to try it again, and, uh, I don't know if you can even get something like that here in Mexico. I'll check, but it's gonna be double the price.

I don't want to pay that much for your vagina pleasure, but they do sell a double-ended one if it's they do. Oh Jesus, I'd never see you again. What room are you in? 1008.

What room are you in? 31. What room are you in? I don't know.

literally make anything up. No one will check. 1234. If you're in the lifestyle, raise your hand.

All right, over here. No judgment. Do you like things to move kind of slow, or do you like them to move kind of fast? I'm a slow burn.

Yeah, no, you warm up. I mean, it's like, you know, a little slight touching and massage and kissing and caressing and you know, you build that momentum. How do you deal with that situation when you have to go from small talk to play? Uh, we keep hearing that it's a major issue.

Major issue up there with global warming and famine or major issue within the lifestyle? No, no, we, we haven't had that problem. It's always been pretty natural. If we're having a good time with people, just start kissing them.

I just take my shirt off. It's working right now. I gotta tell you, your shirt is off and my penis is on your leg. All right, this one's a little bit racy.

Who do I ask first? Um, them. Do you know Molly? Do you know Molly?

Who's Molly? Do you? Do you know Molly? No.

Do you know Molly? No. Do you like Molly deeply? Do you like Molly?

Sure. What do you feel like on Molly? I did not like it at all. Do you know Molly?

Yes. Do you know Molly? No. Do you know Molly?

No idea. Do you know Molly? Do you know where I can get some? Are you a fan of Molly?

No, not personally. Are you a fan of Molly? I don't know because I haven't met Molly. Are you a fan of Molly?

When I was younger, how did Molly make you feel? It was a pretty awesome New Year's Eve. I can tell you that much. Do you like Molly?

Yes. How does Molly make you feel? Fantastic. Do you know Molly?

I know of Molly. So Molly has never made you feel one way or another? No, it hasn't. Do you know Molly?

I know her very well. Have you ever hung out with Molly? Occasionally. How does Molly make you feel?

Sexy. Do you know Molly? No, I'm afraid not. Do you know Molly?

Never met. Do you know Molly? No, I do not. Do you know Molly?

No, I'll introduce you to. What is grammatically correct? I laid you down or I lied you down. I lied you down.

No, that sounds wrong, but I, I feel like that should be right. I laid you down or I lied you down. Laid. I laid you down or I lied you down.

I laid you down. I laid you down. Laid laid, laid, laid you down, laid you down or lied you down? Laid you down.

I laid you down. Definitely laid you down. Laid or lied? I got laid, laid.

That wasn't the question. Would you ever see yourself using a machine that is titled as the ultimate penetrating pleasure machine? You would use that. I married him.

I was gonna say that was my college nickname. I'd love to watch her do it. Would you ever use a machine called the His myth billed as the ultimate penetrating pleasure machine? Fuck yeah.

Would you ever use a machine, puppet? Would you ever use a mechanical device to fuck you? I have one. You are the ultimate penetrating machine.

Nice to meet you. I mean, I would try it, I guess. It's a machine that moves like a locomotive with a dildo attached to the end. Wow, you're really selling it.

I'm gonna go with no. It sounds a little aggressive still. Absolutely. Even if it moved like a locomotive, chew chew, chew chew, like a choo choo train.

Yes, you would. Yes. How much would you pay for that machine? 1800.

That's very sweet It. I have 1800, 1850, 1850. Thank you so much. All right, Lauren, pay attention.

We've started. I am paying attention. I'm just doing it with my eyes closed because I got mascara on my eye. I don't know why you put on makeup.

No one can see you. I didn't put it on for the podcast. Seems a bit odd like. It helps me feel awake and healthy, not healthy, sexy.

I do that too. It's odd because you're usually not here and I put on all of your clothing and you feel happier and sexier tuck my penis and I look in a mirror and I say, Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me if somebody knows what what movie that's from. Please reach out.

Um, all right, so here we are. I have a quick question for you in this particular area of debauchery. Have you ever seen a photo that somebody sent to you and you were like, Hell yeah. Do you, but do you, what is your usual reaction from photos?

Normally I'm like, Oh yeah, they're hot, but like sometimes I'm like, Is this person for real? So does it get you going a little? bit just photos because that's what happened on this one. A couple months ago we received an email that there are people that are going to not only book through us, but they're, they're coming to the hotel and they wanna meet us because they listen to the podcast.

The thing is we get emails like that all the time and some of those emails, they attach photos and I'm happy when they do because I can put a face to the name. It's not always sexual. It's just like, by the way, this is what we look like. Yeah, sometimes X-rated photos, but no, mostly not.

Well, and not all people are trying to solicit. They sent a photo, which again isn't odd, but I opened it up and whack, it whacks me across the face, and I look at these two and I'm like, holy shit, instantaneously I wanna have sex with these people. So you have to be really careful in what you type back because it's like, thank you for booking with us. Also, what comes with this service is a free oral.

They at least wanted to meet us or something like that, and the emails went on for a little bit, so we knew that we were going to meet them. Now what usually happens is we meet people at the hotel, right? And then depending on the energy or the chemistry or whatever, we will usually invite them out time pending everything in this case we were in fact not at the hotel because it was part of January. So they were like, can we meet even though you're not, yeah, even though you're not working and not that I'm a shallow fuck, but based on your photos, yes, I can maybe find, find some shallow.

Oh, it is a little bit, well, it is, but it's OK because it's the, that's the whole point of all of this, a whole different level of anxiety for us. I don't think we were prepared for really because we are not usually. Put it in this situation we're so spoiled. Yeah, we are.

We are very spoiled in the situation that we have because we are at a meet and greet almost every day. Yeah, that's funny. I've never thought of it like not only a meet and greet, but also like, excuse me, hi, such a pleasure. Now if you could take off all of your clothing and just do a 360 degree turn, OK, thank you very much.

Now we'll do the personality test. So it's like so spoiled on so many different levels, but this one we were like, we're gonna meet them and potentially this could fall flat, turn into a fire crash, whatever, however you want to put it. So we were nervous. These are people who were not in the lifestyle for a very long time.

When they arrived here, they were in the lifestyle for, I believe, 3 months. Now, when they contacted us, I believe that was 3 months ago. Now, I'm not a mathematician, but I did some quick math in my head and I thought, hm, maybe the person that they did their stuff with listened to the podcast and they told them about it, and that's how they found us. To me it was the universe.

So I said since we are in this particular situation, let's take our listener, let's take them on a ride with us and uh that's basically what we did. I mean, not much, we don't want to bore the crap out of you, but we did some sort of street recordings just in real time, yeah, like what, so you can go and feel our nerves when we meet them. And stuff and just, it is a journey. It's just go on the ride, you're going on the ride with us.

OK, so this first part is us just driving on the way to, to our first stop. So we're on the, we're exiting the freeway here. It's one exit drive to go to the restaurant that we're gonna meet these guys at. I am both excited and Nervous at the same time.

I always get nervous. I have like social anxiety about meeting people all the time, but I always look at it and I'm like, this is exciting. I'm actually in long pants and a wrap because it's kind of chilly here, which is kind of fun and nice. It's not chilly.

It's in the 70s. You're just a big baby. No. And we're gonna meet these people.

We're gonna try to check in and sort of document this Monday evening for us. I want to nominate the Cancun area as the swinging capital of the universe because it is always sort of sex weather. My God, you're so right, you know what I mean? It's like this is where we will have our convention except for August.

So the next thing is we're parked in a parking lot. Stay tuned because there is a perilous, almost scary situation. Where we almost die. I just hope that we didn't have to cancel the whole night, and I just want our listener to take note of the calm, cool, collected manner in which I live my life.

This is how I go through most of my life. We are about to buy some alcohol for tonight. I have no idea what they drink. Yeah, I asked them twice and they didn't respond, so they did, they did respond.

Tequila is fine. Yeah, OK, that's a response. Why are you mad at them? Well, well, because it was a something is fine.

No, you didn't meet them yet. You're yelling at them. This is true. The tensions building, we're about 27 minutes away from meeting these strangers.

Now they don't know that we're not gonna just kidnap them for real. So in the group chat, she wrote, I'm going to interrupt this program and ask why the woman next to me parked so fucking close to my car. No, no, no, hold on, hold on. That is the alarm going, you're too close to my fucking car alarm.

I have to move. I have, I'm gonna do this so you don't wreck my car. We get out of that situation. Thank God.

Now you haven't heard this next part before because I recorded a little bit while you were inside. So you, I always am inside the store. Yes, so you will hear this for the first time with our listeners. OK, good.

So enjoy, listener and Lauren. So Lauren is in the store now getting alcohol because I make her do stuff while I sit here and do absolutely nothing. I'd taken a Cialis before we left. I don't know, I just wanted sort of a hard on in my system.

I wanted an erection running through me just in case. I don't know, we fuck at the restaurant. And now my face is all red, so I'm already red faced and flushed and I'm hoping it goes down before they show up because I'm gonna look like I was completely sunburned. That lady's coming back, they don't want to see my.

Car, she's staring at me. I'm gonna text them right now and I'm gonna ask them. I'm gonna say last chance to get uh what you want to drink and see if they text back. All right, Lauren's coming back out now.

She looks so cute tonight, whatever she's wearing, really cute shoes. She's got soda. She's carrying so much shit. I feel like an asshole for not helping her at all.

But my seatbelt's on and that would be a lot, you know what I mean? I got to unhook, get out, help her, and then seatbelt again. It's just too much. Do you think I'm a horrible husband?

I just sit there and watch you carry a bunch of shit. I just do it because I know that it causes you stress to go in and, and figure out which money is which money and like what number they're saying. I don't think everybody needs to know. My Mexico math problems with pesos.

Anyway, you looked adorable that night. Sorry I didn't help you. All right, so you get back in the car and we just take a moment, reflect on the situation. I check in with you.

I check in with your entire body and I learned something that's quite frankly pretty creepy. What the fuck are you talking about? By the way, I don't know if it's a woman thing. Like, listener, you make your own decision.

How are you feeling inside right now? Not like your insides, but how do you feel emotionally? I just want to meet them. How does your vagina feel?

And horny. You are horny. Yeah, I am horny. Usually you're not horny at 6.

Yeah, I know. Well, I actually, I found this weird meditation and the way that this This one guy says this like, it's just it's so stupid and it's like right now, yes, it's meh. It's so stupid. It's in the middle of like this beautiful meditation.

Well, it's at the beginning because he's making me sleepy, but what was he saying again right now, I think right now. Right now. You know I'm going to be saying that. Well, good, I'm glad that you're horny.

I haven't gotten a text back from them, so let's go to the location and sit outside and stalk the place. Oh wait, I just got a text. Oh, it is, it is them. They said, OK, so they're saying what they like to drink and they're asking for some sexual devices.

OK, it's actually a very funny text that I can't really share. All right, uh, we are on our way to location C. And I only have one thing to say about all of that, right. By the way, if you wanna put that on a loop for you, and you can listen to me say yes right now while you go to sleep, that is, that's for free.

You should do that. I think you should do dirty talk. OK, I'll do some dirty talk. If anybody wants to buy dirty talk from me or buy a lifelike doll of me, let me know, and we'll send it to a factory somewhere.

We'll get a, I got a mold of me. Ali, express it over. I'm just putting options out. Oh my God.

OK, so then we wind up at location C. I had to go park the car, leaving you alone. You ran into this. I, I don't know if you can hear this, but, um, we just pulled up to the square and there's like a, on the big pavement thing where they do a lot of events and stuff in the main square, they have like drums ring or something and they're doing like dance class slash aerobics.

It's so cute. Anyway, it's just totally random. And that's one of the things that I do enjoy about. Living in a little town in Mexico, it makes us look so cultured without even leaving the house.

Yeah, it's like people pull up and they're like, Oh my God, look at all these festivities. Yeah, this is just how we live. We always are watching a drum circle. Meanwhile, we're never fucking there.

It's happening. We're just not participating. Yeah, we're at home watching Netflix. We're not.

In the drum circle, but when people pull up, we're like, yeah, we go to this fucking drum circle all the time. You can also go Tuesday mornings if you're interested. So we leave the drum circle area and we go upstairs to La Serena and we order drinks, yeah, which is not our norm. I kind of wanted that drink to take a little of the nerves off.

This is us showing up. They're not there yet. Vodka's on the way, round one. We're waiting now, so this is really that moment where we're like, oh no, what if they walk through the door?

I mean, we know what they look like, but maybe their photos were 10 years old. We don't know. I feel like more how their personalities are that I think we'll have fun tonight. I hate them already.

And during this period, I don't know if you remember, but a waiter that works there came and sat down and immediately he was like, Hey guys, can I have a little talk with you? And he sits down and he starts telling us the most depressing relationship story that we have ever heard in our life. And I'm like, these people are gonna walk through the door at any second crying. He's almost crying.

My life is falling. Part with my partner, my wife, and honestly, the advice that I had in my head for him was this girl is a psycho. Run, don't walk away. I, I was just like, oh my God, I have to stop this conversation.

Exactly. You have to choose your own adventure like those books. So poor guy says all this stuff and my reaction, which is so unlike us, was like, all right, well, chin up. Good luck with all of that.

I'm sure everything will work out. It probably won't, but either way, good luck. Bye. So they arrived.

Do you remember who saw each other first? I saw him in the doorway, OK, because he's massive. They were like, Hey, I just heard a hey. And when I looked at the doorway where you're coming through, he was taking up the entire doorway, and then his partner, which I thought was.

One of the sexiest things about them was like half his size. Yeah, this is the actual me. This is literally meeting for the first time. We apologize.

There was some wind or some hugging going on, so the microphone is bouncing around a little bit, but, uh, you can hear him refer to himself as were Jeff and Karen. That's for you guys. Oh. It.

Oh my God, you're such a good. I'm Jeff and she's Karen. So you, you were seeing us in person for the first time. Would you do me so far?

Oh sure. Oh, right, right on. Right? Because I, I was, we were coming here.

I was like, I am so fucking nervous because this is, you are. Oh my God, don't be nervous. Come here, let's hold one another. Because I, we, we are usually not in the situation where we don't really meet face to face first.

Usually we meet you and then we steal you and bring you back. Yeah. But in this case, how do you feel about us? Do we look like you thought we were going to look?

Absolutely. How do you feel? Do you think that they're really hot? Yeah, like for me, I like it's to me it's like seeing like the blow doll that kind of blow up doll or blow doll blow up doll that came to life.

Yeah, like to me, like I'm like holy shit, they're super fucking hot. Let's skip dinner and just go get naked, but I am actually really hungry. I haven't eaten, but they're smoking hot, right? Let's, let's talk like they're not here for a second.

They they look really fit. They look really, really good. Alright, we're gonna check in later. Let's go have a, let's go feed them drinks.

OK, so immediately I'm put at ease by their personalities, by, like, almost instantaneously I'm like, oh, they're, they're very sweet. So then we take a moment to tell us about what it's like at the resort right now, what's going on there? How's your experience been? Yeah, because they were first-timers.

Yeah, I think she felt a little apprehensive the first day, which is totally normal. And when we're there, we're like, give it 24 hours. This will all. Sort of wear off, but they had a very positive attitude towards the entire place and life.

Like they're just those people. I think the sexual tension is building. The next thing we do is we get them out of there, so the kidnapping sort of begins and we bring them to the car and I say, all right, before we go to location D, I guess. Uh, this is where we are at our date so far, just sort of checking in.

All right, so here we are. I have to make this a little bit quick because I have to pee. So what are you thinking so far? Like we're like 2 hours in.

I'm gonna go to you first. What are you thinking so far? You want me to tell the truth? That bad, huh?

Is there anything that you perceived about us that you think you were wrong about or or something that you were like, oh, I didn't expect that. Is there anything different or is it pretty much what you thought? Uh, for me, I think that you guys are pretty much what we expected. Because uh we've learned so much about you guys through the podcast, but I'm pleasantly surprised that you guys are both gorgeous.

So it's, you know, we feel really lucky to be here. So you stole that from me. Oh, you stole your line. I, I was just gonna say, I was just gonna say mine's better.

No, I was just gonna say they're definitely better looking in person. Not that you weren't good looking in pictures. I mean, I think. Do you think it has anything to do with, with my personality that makes me, makes me even better?

I don't know if I should stroke your ego. All right, we'll just leave it there because I have to pee. All right, so we end up back at the house. Now there's a few things that I need to get to beforehand.

So earlier in this podcast, one of the things that we had talked about was someone was like, Hey, do you wanna do some drugs? So we take this couple back here. One of the first things they say is like, Hey, you wanna do some drugs? I'm like, No, wait a minute, I am getting offended now.

Do I look like someone who just does a shit ton of drugs? Just down for the party, Richard. I am absolutely insulted, so I say, yes, what kind of drugs? I'm not very picky.

What is it? So they say it's Molly and we're like, we know that one. I just did it. We, we sit down and we sort of pour a drink to swallow our molly and As you do, as you do, I'm trying to take it slowly a little bit.

Things are moving relatively quickly. We had been flirting for so long. I feel like we were both like when we saw each other in person and had dinner, it was like, check. So she's like taking off her clothes very quickly, way before any Molly took effect.

I want you to listen very, very carefully because I almost lost it at the very beginning of this next clip. The word she uses is key to where her mindset was, and you have to listen closely to what she says to give you an indication and how long she wanted to wait. We stop wasting time. I love it.

I've never seen this. I love it. All right, so here we are. Are we, are we all drunk and high yet?

Are we having a good time yet? Awesome. Um, your clothes are 50% off and ours are still fully on. How did that happen?

Because you guys are pros. We're, we're newbies, but I just, I just knew that she was starting to feel uncomfortable because she was washing dishes and stuff, so I said I started to clean. She started cleaning. How does it feel so far being kidnapped?

I love it. Do you like being kidnapped so far all the time. All right, so I think things are going pretty well. I wish I could show you the hotness that's happening right here.

Fuck. Uh, all right, we'll talk to you later. So she does. She says, Can we stop wasting time?

And I got a little nervous. Yeah, you started cleaning again, what you do. But I was like, All right, I get this speed. I understand it.

I said, nope, let's go upstairs right now. We stripped down, did a whole lot of stuff. He is a cock ring buddy, yeah, junk jewelry. So we, uh, we put our cock rings on.

It's like gladiators going into battle. Her body and his body together was absolutely amazing. The music going, the whole environment was really sexy. Maybe it was the Molly talking.

Could be probably. There's something about a guy who loves watching his wife get fucked. It really is. I'm, I'm one of those, so I understand it when there's a guy who's super turned on about it.

Our body was so sick. His size comparable on top of you equally as hot to me, and they were both really, really horny and really, really sexy. She ruined our sheets. She did so she fucked me with a strap on while, oh yeah, that's right, he was fucking her, and he was so big he could reach around the two of us and put his hands on.

The bed, yeah, that was really amazing. I came with a strap on just because of his enormous size. Well, what, what's weird is I was like, Hey, do you want to fuck her with a strap-on? She's like, I've never done that before.

I'm like, You haven't done anything. You've only been doing this for 3 months. So she's like, I mean, I'll try it, but I really don't think that I'm gonna enjoy it. Smash cut 2, this is the best thing ever.

You guys were grinding. Together for so long you were coming by her grinding up against you. It's just her body, her long hair, it's like all the stuff that I don't have her tits like and just being able to look at that, we were just so into it. I don't know if this had anything to do with the Molly.

I'm not sure, but then we just sort of touched each other for an additional 3 hours. Just sat there and touched one another and like talked and laughed and stuff, yeah, so we talked to them a little bit afterwards. Here's that. How was it for you?

It was so great. I'll do it again and again and again and again and again. Guys are really super fun. Have fun.

I had an amazing time. My favorite part was when you got really chatty right in the middle of everything and kept making everybody stop because you're like, no, one more thing, let me just say this, and then, and then one more thing, and we're all like. No, but, but one more thing, but one more thing. Well, what it is, is that when you're enjoying the moment, you just want to share your thoughts with everybody.

You squirted on my hand. You're welcome. All right, yeah, so there was one point where she was so like, guys, I am, you know what's awesome about this, like right in the middle of all of the sex. I was dying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucking really hot, really hot going on, but no, I just wanna say as a couple, like this is awesome, so awesome. All right, it's she's like, yeah, but just one more thing, I enjoy seeing people have a really good time. So, but we got the job done.

We did. Thank you so much for coming on and. Date with us. We hope you enjoyed it.

You can listen again and masturbate through it if you'd like. Take Molly, unless you're driving. Can you drive on Molly? I don't know how your reaction time is, really.

I don't know either. I'm just not gonna recommend drive ever. Oh, the steering wheel is amazing. Just drive with your hands on the windows.

Anyway, if you've driven on Molly, let us know how it's like. I'm sure it's amazing, sticking your head out the window like a dog. Alright, I have to go. All right, that is it, Lauren.

So if you are a couple or single, we don't really care, and you wanna come down here and be recorded on your first date with us, drop us a line, we'll see if you are the next contestant on Getting Down with Room 77. I don't have a title. It's a working title. It's a working title.

All right, anyway, I I want to thank really quickly a few people that helped make our life easier. First, Mickey and Brut, how do you say it? Brut. I don't know.

They know who they are they do anyway. Sorry we couldn't be there in January with you. Weren't able to spend more time with you, but we were happy that we did run into them in the jacuzzi serendipitously. That was fun.

Also, Matt and Lisa, who brought us a shit ton of gum. Oh my God, thank you. So you have no idea that we were running out of the regular stuff and into generic world. So he, he pulled this sham on a pharmacy in Canada and they said, how much do you smoke?

He's like, I don't know, 2 packs a day, 3 packs? What's a lot? So they gave him as much as he could carry and he brought it to us. So basically what we are asking for you to do, people in Canada, is, uh, insurance fraud, basically.

So just go into the pharmacy, tell them that you're addicted, get the free gum, bring it to us. He also said you guys have no excuse as Canadians. It is your duty. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what came out of his mouth.

It was close. Also, thank you so much to the Klan from. Colorado, who made us those awesome hats, rocking the sea. We had a huge dinner up at La Serena with a lot of people, and that was a lot of fun.

They brought a lot of amazing energy and just really great vibes. I just wish we got to spend a little more time up there with them, but we couldn't. We actually broke a record at that time with the most amount of affiliates at the hotel at the same time, and they broke the record and they also broke my will to live. That's how incredibly insane.

My brain was that week. So I apologize. Thank you for being here, but I apologize for me, for only getting like 30% of me because the rest was all spun out. But you helped us make it through.

Really quickly, if you do want to come to Desire, you wanna go on a cruise or you wanna go to Temptation, please go to our website and check out Lauren's Box. Click on Lauren's Box. It costs you absolutely nothing. We get 10% of the booking and it helps us live and pay our bills and buy elegant furs, which we'll never wear.

Because we're in the tropics closing out. What were you addicted to this month? This past month I was addicted to these stupid dance videos. I, it's Kyle Hannigan, I think is his name.

I don't know. It doesn't matter, but I started watching dance videos while I was on cardio. Oh, you've got that yummy. Yeah, one of them includes yummy.

Oh, you've got that yummy. I was addicted to, I was a dumb person trying to create a smart home. I was doing everything I could on a budget. I'm not kidding.

I'm buying like a light bulb at a time. Trying to get any used piece of Google home equipment because I've become addicted to saying Google, it's sleepy time and making all of the lights go out in that room. Just on that note, if you do decide that you want to tip with a smart home device, maybe bring me a bulb or something that is smart like, I am open to that. It is an addiction and it needs to be fed.

Yeah, also, if you know anything about the apps and how I can actually make them work, that would be really super helpful because I can't make anything fucking work. Anyway, speaking of addictions, tell them about Bikini Addiction. So if you book your trip through us, the first for 5 nights or more, the first like 10 people get free bikinis from Bikini Addiction and you get 2 pieces. Top and at bottom, you get to pick your style and your color and it's super awesome.

If you don't book and you still want a bikini, go and use room 77, no space as a code and you get 10% off. Room 77, 10% off Bikini Addiction. Go check it out. They're really hot.

Lauren wears them a lot in her photos on Instagram and Twitter and that, uh, secret dark website that you're on. And if you can't do any of that, please consider joining our Patreon, which uh we're about to put out a video with you and B. It's almost ready, pretty sexy. Go join us on Patreon.

Uh, we will try to put stuff up whenever we have enough energy and time to do so. Let's thank the people who gave us money to buy that penetrating pleasure machine. Shout out to Zimbabwe, Mandy, James, Jay Easter. John, Danielle, Ommi, Kevin.

Kevin's back, by the way. He keeps going and coming back. Kevin's back. We're glad to have you back, Kevin.

John Ho, Christine, Christian, and Anna, Mr. Alan, Rex, and the missus, Leon, Kevin Meister, Jason, Steve, Fizzy, Travis, Bill, Joe, Liz, and Mark for increasing their pledge, Amanda, Chris, and Ginger diaries. And we got to meet Vladimir Putin and yes. person, I died laughing.

It was a pleasure meeting you, Vladimir Put it in. Thank you so much for all your support. All right, that's it. I have to go.

I, are you gonna go do more smart home stuff? I'm gonna try. All right. All right, Lauren, we are finished right now.

And that about does it for us. For more information, photos, or to contact us, go to room 77 podcast.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast.

Now get your clothes and get out.