Ep. 32: How To Get Fired from Desire Resorts

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Fed up with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now. We do what we love. Work, party, and play at the Desire resorts. After 16 years in the lifestyle, we thought we saw it all.

We were so wrong. So wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day.

So come to room 77. Let's play. All right, Lauren, here we are. I am here and you are here.

We are both here. Who are we missing? A lot of people. Yeah, we are missing a lot of people.

How are you? How are you? I'm doing good. How are you doing?

I'm fantastic. You look amazing. Why? Because I'm topless.

Yes. Your skin looks amazing. You have a nice little glow going to you. You're radiating positivity.

That's how I get through my day is you smiling and laughing and making life worth living. Oh, you're so sweet. I also want a divorce. No, no, life is, is strange.

It is, it is a little bit strange right now, but we do want to thank the outpouring of love that we received from all the people who went over to Patreon and bought our $1 episode. And more just saved our lives in a way I don't think people really understand what it's like, you know, we came out here, not out here, but we came down here. Well, depending on where you live, maybe, maybe we came up here. I don't know.

I don't know where you live, but, uh, yeah, we came to Mexico on a whim and a prayer. We've been sort of doing this thing and the support of everybody has made it possible. We wanna thank every person or that one person who listens. It's been remarkable.

We know that a lot of people are suffering up. And we wanted to say, by your support, you've helped us to not suffer through this. It really means a lot to us besides just the emails of people saying like, can we mail you stuff? What do you guys need?

We're thinking of you, and that really means a lot to us. It really does. I think we would have been in severe panic mode if we didn't have the support over there at Patreon. For me, absolutely.

My favorite part of the day is hearing the answer to this question. What day is it? That has become the favorite part of my day. Oh God, yeah, the, the, the quarantine is starting to get to me in sort of a psychological level, I guess.

It's starting to change my mood a little bit. I am the barometer of the world. Uh, I know if it's something's bugging me, it's, it's probably. Bugging somebody else out there.

I represent the everyman, mostly the every woman, but, but yeah, I'm starting to feel a little blah. I feel like I'm bringing you down. Are you tired of me? No, I'm not tired of you.

Are you tired of going to the store for me? No, I look at it as like a little adventure. I mean, I don't know what I'm doing there. I just hold on to my list.

Like it's my last line of defense.p. I mean, you could use a little bit better penmanship. I know it sucks. It's like chicken scratch, like some beautiful mind shit.

I know to you it makes sense. But to the outsider, it's like one step above a note to call 911. I've been kidnapped and stuck it up against a car window while it was driving. That's what it looks like.

But no, I enjoy it. I don't mind going to the store. I mean, I like getting out more when there isn't people around. Yeah, that's your jam.

It totally is your jam. So it's, it's a little bit better for me. But yesterday I had a very long conversation with a lady about bread crumbs in Spanish. Yeah, we talked a long time how to say bread crumbs in Spanish, and what is the answer?

I forget. Mgas, miga migas de pan, but migas de pan is not really correct. That's not what they, they use. That's how it says it in the translator, but.

But I had to text B and ask B. I'm like, Hey, how do you say that because they don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. The one they go by is Pan Maldido. Oh yeah, ground bread Maldido.

Before I even looked on the translator, I walked up and I said, Do you have pulvo de pan, which is, what does that mean? Dust, dust of bread. Bread dust. Do you have bread dust?

That's not far off. I know what you mean. I mean, that was the loosest translation I could come up with in my head because I don't know crumbs and I don't know ground, so I, I asked for bread dust, and she looked at me like someone would look at you when you asked them for bread dust. Did you wipe your nose like you had a coke problem?

No, because I had a mask on, of course. So, uh. Then she finally got what I was talking about and then we took a trip together over to the deli section and she asked me how much I wanted and then I didn't have the energy to explain to her, I don't really understand the metric system either. So I, I don't know how much bread crumbs weigh, nor do I know how to make that equivalent and how about 1 kg?

Give me 11 kg. Yeah, give me 1 kg. I don't know how much that is. But I know what it looks like in a cocaine photo.

That's what I need, right? And you wrap it in duct tape. Yes, but even while I was in the store going through my chaotic breadcrumb scavenger hunt, I'm out there even with a few people there. I am aggressively looking for hot people to have sex with.

I mean, it's just like, hey, it's getting desperate, right? Like I'll just take them and throw them in a van. Take them away. Are you raping me?

Yes, I am. I am shush, but I just need to take your temperature first and fill out this form about where you've traveled in the last couple of weeks, and I need some information about your family and friends, but before you take off your clothes, and then, and then I'm gonna rape you. But yeah, it's just, it's just getting desperate. I am a little sexually frustrated in the, in the lifestyle world because I don't have anybody to fuck around with.

Play with, look at, touch, rub up against, flirt with other than you, again, I love you to death, but you don't count. When somebody does finally come to desire and we are there, I may just take them. Just the first couple that even hints at the fact that they would come home with us, I was just gonna be like, let's go. What are your names?

I'll forget it. I'll ask you on the way home. I don't care. I just need to have some sort of orgy right now.

I was getting horned up by. Watching the final scene of Sausage Party. Oh my God. Having the end orgy scene in that particular Seth Rogen film, I was like, oh God, I need a fucking orgy.

I need to have dirty, disgusting sex with my wife. That's what I need to do now. We don't usually go into terrible detail about our sex or even really sex with, with others, mainly because I don't wanna gross people out. I mean that's the honest truth.

I'm like, what do they care? Like, oh, shut up, you know how it works, but I'm not gonna do that today. Today I'm gonna go into absolute detail for a reason. Before we went upstairs, that's where we have the sex most of the time.

Sometimes we have it anywhere, but on this particular day we did it on the upstairs and uh I had. Right before I hurt my back. So I had warned you. I was like, hey, we're gonna fuck, and you're like, yeah.

I'm like, listen, I hurt my back. It really hurts, OK? So, if you have any fantasy of having sex with a barely mobile 80 year old man, that's gonna help out my performance if you just set your bar right there. I was sort of trying to get into a position that felt good for my back, only being in one of two positions lying flat on my back or, or sort of on my knees, right?

Yeah, I told you you could starfish and I'd be OK with that. I know, but I didn't want to do that. What I did was, I just started treating you like an absolute pig. I took you down and It's just sort of turned into this, right?

I just started feeding you my cock. I shoved my cock in your mouth and I was taking your head and I was grabbing your hair and I was just fucking your face, and then I started just dirty talking. I was like, you little fucking whore, you fucking whore. I love when you do that.

So then I start salivating. I know, and you're getting more and more. Turned on and the more and more turned on you're getting, I'm elevating your dirty elevating my dirty talk. Now I'm just like pinning you down.

I'm shoving my cock in your mouth and I'm making you salivate and your eyes are watering and I'm telling you that you are a worthless piece of shit and you need to learn. You need to learn how to suck cock and then you started making sounds and I told you to shut the. Shut the fuck up, shut up. If I want to hear something out of you, I will tell you to fucking speak.

And then you started talking. I was like, shut up. And at one point I slapped your face, and then I paused and I was like, I can't remember if she doesn't like to be slapped in the face. And then I was waiting too long, so I slapped you in the face again.

I was like, I'm gonna stop slapping her in the face because I, I, I kind of remember that she doesn't like that. No, I do like it. Oh, so then I was just, I was like, you are a pig, you are nothing. You are fucking worthless.

You are a hole that I am here to fuck. You are just a hole to me. I don't wanna hear you speak. I don't wanna know anything about you.

I paid a man to come into this room to use you like a fucking hole, you filthy, dirty whore. I love you very much, and you're getting turned on. I know. I'm like, I have the biggest smile on my face right now, and I'm like, this is what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna walk outside of the room and I'm gonna come back in here. I want you to sit on the edge of the bed. Like you are trapped here and you have to have sex with any stranger who walks through the door. So you sat on the bed like a good little person and there you were, you sort of put your head down and you put your hands down and I walked out the door and I thought about making you wait a little bit, but I gotta be honest, I was way too horny to wait.

So I walk out the door and I come back in and I grab your hair and I pull it back and I say, Are you Lauren? And you just nod yes and then I throw you down and I lift your legs up and then I just start hammering away at you. I just start fucking the shit out of you. I mean, I'm getting so super turned on.

I'm getting turned on talking about it right now. I'm getting turned on too, just treating you like a, like an animal. And then I was like, oh, I'm gonna come. You had already come because I had already.

You had already had an orgasm before this, right? So I was like, well, I, I don't have to last forever, which for me is 37 seconds, so I can kind of come faster because you already came. So I'm like, I'm gonna go there. I'm gonna fucking stick my mouth, my cock in your mouth.

I am gonna make you swallow every drop of com, crawl over it, and then I start coming and I chicken out and I just come on your chest. Oh, are you, is that what you planned? Yeah, because I was like, I can't do it, and then, like Jim Jeffries said in one of his, his routines, I come and immediately I'm like, I'm so sorry. Are you?

Are you OK? Are you OK? You OK? Is that OK?

Are you OK? Are you OK? I'm so sorry. I love you.

And I looked up at you and I'm just smiling and like, well, you kept, then you kept masturbating. You were so turned on, you just sat there and you were like, Hey, can you help me with your fingers? I wanna come one more time. And I'm like, My back hurts.

My back is killing me. I'll try. OK, now I have a lot of fantasies that go a little bit deeper than this, and we're gonna get even more graphic, but we're gonna put it on the Patreon side of things. It is a fantasy that I feel weird about a little bit, but it also turns me on, but we're gonna put that over there, we're gonna dive into it a little bit more, so if you wanna hear more of that, head on over to patreon.com/room77.

You can hear it for $1. I'm in Sydney. Long time listener, first time caller. This is Adam, and this is Eve.

Longtime listeners, first time caller. Calling from Virginia. Long time listener, first time caller. Thank you.

All right, where are you calling from? Hey, we're calling from sunny Southern California. First time caller, first time. Listener, first time doing any of this.

In your family, who does the food shopping? Do you have bread crumbs there in Sydney? Which aisle do you find them in? I don't know.

Yeah, good question, right? I'm gonna ask this question. Who does the food shopping in your family? Definitely me.

I also do the cooking. Which aisle do you find bread crumbs in? Bird feed. No, it seems like it would make sense.

Who in your little family there does the food shopping? Oh, good God, that's me. Alright, in what aisle do you find bread crumbs? The bread aisle.

Yes. Do you like to call your, your lady in bed? Do you like to call her names like a filthy whore and a pig? My, my wife's a crazy redhead, so, um, fire crutch or something like that, quickly followed by a black eye, which is fine.

Do you like to, uh, slap her around a little bit? Starts off that way and then it usually ends with me getting slapped. She's strong. When you are having sex, do you like to be called a pig or a cum slut?

Oh my gosh, no. Do you like to be slapped? No. Do you ever like to be treated like trash and called a little cum slut?

Oh, good God, yes, please, yes, please. You know, in all of these. Gotten slapped during sex in the face at a bare minimum, yes, bare minimum. When you were having sex, do you ever like to be called a poor pig cum slut?

Oh yeah, all the time. Never. Have you ever been slapped in the face in terms of getting slapped in the face during sex, uh, slapped you a few times, yeah, I guess I have been. Alright, this is a question that usually goes for the couples, but she's not here, but I'm gonna ask anyway, do you swallow?

Without hesitation. Happily, yes. You have an A plus plus so far. All right, so we're gonna start off with Doctor Jeff.

A lot of people were like, hey, if there's anybody we wanna hear from during this time, it's Doctor Jeff and Doctor Karen. Where are they? So we were, we were trying to ring them up and we're like, guys, we need you. And they're like, Guys, we have a fucking family here.

We can't just pull everything out of the closet and, and start talking about sex and balls and tits and our kids are gonna walk in and this is gonna end horribly, but I do wanna preface this we did, we did talk to them and that's coming up next, and this is really important, this is true. After we talked to them, they donated $500 to our Patreon, and they are the sweetest people. We wanna thank them so much. It just, it doesn't go unfelt.

And why are you crying? Don't cry. Don't. It means so much.

They're a dorks. They are dorks, but I love them, and, uh you guys so much. So, and the other thing is a lot of people always ask, is Doctor Jeff's voice disguised? The answer is yes, it is disguised because he has to keep his privacy, which we respect and acknowledge and is especially important now that we don't give away his identity, meaning that he is on the White House coronavirus task force.

I'm not saying he's Doctor Fauci and Doctor Fauci is Doctor Jeff. I'm not saying that, right? No, of course you're not saying that. No, I'm not saying that Doctor Jeff and Doctor Fauci are the same person or that you have ridden Doctor Fauci like a wild stallion before.

I'm not saying that. No, absolutely, but his privacy is super important at this time. Yeah, where is Doctor Jeff? That is what people have been asking.

Where are they? Emails and messages and social media. It's all I hear. It's everywhere.

And you know what I tell them, doctors, is this isn't an easy time for you and I, you know what I mean? We have a lot of questions that are. Coming in all the time. Yeah, you got conference calls.

Richard, I have a fever. Richard, what are the symptoms? Richard, send me nudes. There are so many things just coming in all at once, and everybody wants answers.

Everyone wants a piece of Richard. As doctors, are you feeling that over there as well? But, so I, again, so part of this is we, we do need to just kind of catch up with each other a little bit. We do need to connect, but we also need content.

Let's prioritizing. I got you. And we just want to talk to you about some things. And then Doctor Jeff and Doctor Karen, which, by the way, not their real names.

So then after that we'll turn the recording off and then we will catch up and talk about, you know, your family, what it's like in Russia this time of year, you know, normal stuff that we usually even talk about. Is that OK with you? That's that's fine. I'm just trying to decide how we're gonna answer questions.

Uh, you're busy. The truth is I'm not very busy right now because I know No, no, no, no, no, no, doctor, doctor, listen, I'm gonna ask you a question and I want a specific answer. Let's go. How many lives have you saved today, Doctor Karen, I don't really wanna talk about the pandemic and everything because who knows what's gonna happen.

This is. is the question I had in my head. I was like, are we actually prepared for a real apocalypse? I got scared because I personally, I'd be dead inside of an hour if there was a real apocalypse.

And I had told Lauren this, this is a true story. It's like we would die alone. First of all, you would die because I would run away from. From danger, right?

So then you'd be by yourself and then you would die alone. So I said to her, I was like, you know, really, if something really does happen, we're not gun people and we don't live in the United States, we would die. We would die, we would be in a shootout. It would be the wild, wild west, especially in the United States.

In fact, if there is an apocalypse, I don't think I want to be in the United States because I think people would just walk out the doors and start shooting. Each other, you'd be dead in crossfire from your neighbors before the zombie apocalypse even got to you. This turned into a zombie apocalypse. It's always been a zombie apocalypse.

It starts off with a fever. Every movie. It's just got different rules, but it did start me thinking about who I would want on my team if we were in a clan, and I thought, I want Doctor Jeff and Karen on my team. Absolutely.

Do you feel like we would add something to your team, because I have a few questions that I need to ask before I make it official. Oh yes, you guys would be the best team ever, right? What do you, what are you bringing? What are you bringing?

Yeah, what do you bring to the table? You guys tell jokes. I can, I can, yeah, we know you could tell jokes. That's perfect.

I'm really organized. Lauren is organized, and I like to clean, so we would have a clean tent. I can be the. Gatherer, that's good.

Doctor, do you hunt? No, OK, but if you had to, like, if we, if we had to kill someone and eat them as a doctor, would you know what parts are good, what part of the human you could slow roast? Yes, yes. Oh, sure, we could pick out the choice meats, I suppose.

Yes, you, you could, right? You would obviously be in charge of butcher, butcher, right, because he's handy with a knife. That's your job, so. I think we all have, actually I'm the only one who didn't offer anything.

Like you're telling jokes. But seriously, let's say if it did start off on the day that it sort of started here, all we had in our cupboard was, uh, Cheetos and Gatorade. How long could a human live on Cheetos and water? Well, an infinite supply of Cheetos.

No, no, no, no, no. Let's say a bag of Cheetos. Are we talking 8 ounce or 16 ounce? Yeah, like Costco.

Let's do, let's do Costco. How long could 2 humans live off that bag of Cheetos? I thought there were 4 of us. We're not sharing our Cheetos.

No, we didn't, we didn't meet up yet. It's, you're jumping way ahead in the movie. We haven't met up together yet. We haven't gotten desperate enough to go outside yet.

Single bag of Cheetos and unlimited water supply. Um, all right, bag of Cheetos. If we have lots of water, the Cheetos could go a long, long time, really, like 1 Cheeto per day. Yeah, we'd ration the Cheetos out per day.

I don't know if I could do that because they're so good. Like you can't eat one, you know what I mean? And then you get that dust on your fingers and you see the crunch. You just can't stop it, yeah.

So can we, can we bump that up to 2 or 3 a day? Are these the puffy kind? Yeah, these are the puffy kind, not the crunchy kind, although I do prefer those. But I find 3 stages of Cheeto eating, which is, oh my God, these are so good.

Wow, this is tasting weird, and then, oh my God, I need. Throw up. You always get to part three just too late. All right, so we got Cheetos before we make it out.

Does Gatorade help us if I have some? It's better than water, I would think, if we're really gonna worry about calories. Am I bringing the Gatorade or am I bringing the water? I bring whichever you can have the most of.

It doesn't really matter. It doesn't. It'd be better to have the Gatorade. All right, I'm gonna bring the Gatorade then.

Do you have a flavor preference? Richard's is great. I think it's classic oranges. The best one.

I don't like the red ones. Yeah, I don't like the red ones either. Then no red in our camera. We're not bringing the reds like a bad movie.

If that's all we had, I would pour it out on the floor. Yeah, if we get red, we're pouring them out, pouring them out. Have you been working on your, your body? I saw you on camera for a little bit before this, and God damn, doctor, actually, Karen, is he working out?

He always works out. So you have. Exercise equipment in your home. Yeah, we do.

We have a full gym. So jealous. Well, we can bring it to the camp. Yeah, bring weights if you guys would help us carry the 50 pounders.

This is why we're gonna survive. We're smart like this. We will bring weights and carry them everywhere so that we will be, yeah, so that we have time to work out. I just think that as a clan walking through the apocalypse, we want to be shredded.

Do you know what I mean? We should look hot, right? Yes, poses a good question for the ladies. What kind of shoe are you packing?

Like, is this a wedge kind of thing, or is this a, is this an easy pump? Did I get that right? I'm just, I'm thinking of primary sneaker, but then I like to air the shoe, let the feet air, open toe, heel, yeah, definitely a wedge heel, I think. Yeah, for the wilderness, the wedge is good.

Are we doing like an apocalyptic theme night look? Like I think, oh my God, the theme nights would be so good. Like, like you guys gotta look hot because that's part of our thing. Your hair can be a little bit messed up, but in sort of a stylish way, yeah, like that beach wilderness look, yeah, like a messed up bun with dreadlocks, exactly.

The doctor and I are going to put dirt on our face strategically in spots that make us look more handsome, but take a shower every night and brush your teeth with that weird bamboo, and then when we wake up, put the dirt right back on. We can hook up a little like running water using like a milk container. I don't think we have to rough it that much. I have a feeling Waffle Houses will still be open.

OK, because they don't close in our world, some Waffle Houses, Walmart and, and a Walmart or two. Well, we have an RV. We could take the RV. OK, this is getting amazing because I think we're gonna mad max the fuck out of that.

This is getting too campy. All right, it's getting too campy. All right, let's pull back out. So now, do you still have the treadmill and the Gatorade?

Yes, or. Are we back out? We're still carrying the weights. Let me ask you this.

Let's just say that we're in the, in the thick of it, and one of us, and I'm not gonna say which one, we're doctors, one of us wants a little plastic surgery. Now you brought your doctor tools with you. I brought my doctor tools. Doc, is there a way to give me a butt lift in the field?

Alright, and again, if you want to hear more about our plan during the apocalypse, go to either room 77life.com and hit the Patreon link or Google patreon.com/room77. You can hear how we are planning to take over the world and how we will rape and pillage other clans for world dominance and homoerotic surgeries. All of it will be waiting for you over there. Do you have Cheetos over there?

How many Cheetos are too many Cheetos? I'm not a fan. 0 is too many cheese puffs. Typically when I'm eating Cheetos, I'm pretty high, so that limits me from throwing up, so, uh, I could probably finish a bag and a half.

Have you seen those like Walmart tubs? Of cheesy poofs. I think I can't focus on the word poofs. The cheesy poofs.

It's like a 5 gallon bucket of cheese poofs. Fucking stop saying poops. I think I finished a half of one of those barrels of cheesy poofs, and one evening. I'm a fat bastard.

During an apocalypse, what do you think the proper shoe attire would be? Uh, definitely Crocs. Oh, the sparkly silver ones. Yeah, and also if the heels are really, really long and sharp, so I can just kick something.

Steel toe boots. Nice, good choice. Uh, Gucci loafers. I want everyone to know I'm bougie as fuck.

Oh baby, it's a giant stiletto, 6 inches glitter, black rhinestones. Who the fuck cares at that point? What's your favorite flavored Gatorade? Blu-ray Boost.

I don't know, it's blue. Yes, that is the correct answer, Eve. What is your favorite flavor of Gatorade? I like the blue, and there, uh, there's a purple one that's pretty good too.

Um, yes, we, we prefer Pedialyte in the middle of our debauchery, but Gatorade in a pinch. All right, in a pinch, what is your favorite? Flavor of the Gatorade. Great, great, babe.

Great. Yes, I like the frost. I like no coloring. Can we agree that the red sucks?

Yes. What is your favorite flavor? The frost one, the frost ones, Arctic frost. That's the white flavored one.

I like yellow. I feel like he's making a piss joke. Definitely not that. And we're trying to get Gatorade to stop making red.

Red is not good. No, we need to get everybody on board with that. We need to write a strongly worded letter. I will sign that petition.

Alright, so in this next conversation you're gonna hear an extra voice, and the extra voice is B, the ex-playmaker from RM, yeah, so that was living here, but if you wanna hear the rest of that conversation, go on over to Patreon. She gives you an update of her life after Desire, now that it's not secret anymore. She was living here with us in her tiny. Little thong.

Uh, by the way, if you wanna look at B, she is over on Instagram at M_B E R N A L D or on Twitter at Marissa_B E R N A L. Check her out, make sure she knows that we sent you and she will give you nudes. That's videos, videos, yeah, probably. I don't know if that last part is true.

I haven't talked to her about it yet. Alright, so the other thing that I wanted to bring up is Lauren is in some sort of crisis. So she started this OnlyFans thing. Are you aware what OnlyFans is?

All right, so OnlyFans, for anybody who doesn't know, is like you tune in, you tune in, I don't know, you subscribe, right? It doesn't matter. It's a way that we're making ends meet, and she's decided I'm gonna get on camera and diddle myself. So last night she was like, I wanna make a video.

Of us doing stuff and I was like, all right, well, because the people are asking for it. I'm like, what's on your shot list? So she says, Well, I gotta, I need a shot of you fucking me in this position, this position, and this position. I'm not even showered.

I'm not even supposed to be working tonight, but all right, I'll go shower and we'll get these positions done. And then she throws this at me. She says, I wanna do it in front of the giant window while all the neighbors are watching. I thought it would make maybe be like more dollars or something.

So I'm like, so I walked downstairs, I'm completely naked. And as I talked about in another episode, you could see right into our window and Lauren's like lighting it. It's like we're setting up a window in Amsterdam to the red light district to bring clients in. She's setting the lights up.

I'm sweating. I'm so nervous, right? I haven't. My eyes are locked on the street because I'm like, Oh, please don't walk by.

Please don't walk by. Please don't let anybody walk by. I was trying to make it dim so people couldn't see in, and she's trying to make it bright so people could see what she's actually shooting. It didn't end well.

I think I. I got so nervous that I just, I came on your leg and then I ran out of the, he did. He was trying to pull out and come on my back and he came on my leg. I didn't even know that.

And then I just ran away. I just ran because I was like, I can't do this, man. If you ever wanted to know what it looked like when a person with mental disabilities has sex for the first time, that's what I look like. So this is my life now, along with Lauren selling panties.

I did. I made my first sale today. Lauren is selling her panties right now. How do you feel about that, B?

I'm gonna buy a pair of. How much would you pay for Lauren's panties? I would say $80. You would say $80 yeah, depending on what she did in them.

Yeah. Oh. I just sold them for a bargain and if it has some of your cum, Richard, more expensive that can make a baby that can be scraped off, yeah, then they take my DNA they put it they got me for life. Yeah, no, what have they been asking for?

Underwear that you've been running in, you know, I put up a couple of examples on the last episode. Like what? What are the examples? It was working out, sweating, uh, ones that I slept in, which are kind of like, you know, it just takes, it takes that when you wake up in the.

Morning you have a different smell, right? Yeah, your vagina has bad breath, morning breath, and then masturbated and then you came up with the ass ones, but everyone wants masturbated ones. Nobody wants, no one wants sweaty ones or ones that you crapped in. Not crafting in any of them.

And then B came up with ones that you peed in, which I think is actually a better one than Crapton. What about both? Why can't you? No, no one wants that.

It's gross. Yeah, 1 and number 2. You can get a combo. What did you do in there?

You masturbated in them. I masturbated in them, and then because I was making like a video last night, so they were the ones like I pulled aside. When I finished, I put them back on and just sort of wiped it. And then I just made a clip at the end because I'm like, well, maybe someone would want to buy these.

So I just made a a little video clip at the end. It's like 4 seconds, and then he was messaging me. I was like, I sent him the little 44 2nd video clip, and he's like, I want those. And that's what I was thinking I was going to make a little package deal like you're going to get a little clip, and if you want the masturbation video, then you can also, that's like an additional item you can add to cart, and then I'll ship you the panties.

Done. It's like a cool deal, right? And then you can like smell the panties, watch the video, jack off, whatever. I don't know.

I thought it'd be a cool package, and you put them in a little plastic baggie like you're in the, yeah, like right off you got to take them off, but I smelled them. I was like, oh, that's good. That smells really good. It's, it's intense and I put them in a bag and I zipped it up and I put it on the bed for the morning.

I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do with it. I haven't sold these, but what else can we sell on you? What if you start lactating? Oh God.

What if I do like wax strips? This whole conversation is making me nauseated. I don't know. I think stuff is gross too, but I do know that the panties are a big deal because there's all these vending machines and stuff.

That's how I got the idea. There has to be a panties for sale on site somewhere. Well, there's a few of them. Oh, there are.

Yeah. What do they look like? How many people are on there selling panties? I mean, I only looked at a couple of them, and you know, for me to pay someone to 20% commission, I'd rather just direct deal with my people.

Yeah, cut out the middleman. I mean, when you're dealing with panties, you don't need it dirty panties anyway, you don't need an agent. Well, that's what I was thinking is like, I'm gonna make it more special and I'm gonna sort of make a tiny little video that goes with it. I'm gonna make like a something that shows it at the end where you see it so that you know exactly what you're getting.

You know, it was on my body and embrace whatever kinks people have. I want to make it as not dirty as possible. If that is your kink, fucking embrace it. I'm gonna make a little video.

Video so you can have fun with it and just be as dirty as you want. I, there's nothing wrong with that. Do they tell you what they're going to do with your panties? No, I haven't gotten that far, but someone was like, Tell me what you did to make those panties, and I'm like, Oh, I can't, I can't get into this on text, but I can show you.

I can show you the video. That's a good tool. I mean, yeah, for $90. 0, it keeps going up.

Well, because she didn't know about the video. It's inflation. Yeah. Can we sell your panties?

Yeah, sure. All right, that could be. The combo and panties, a 2. I like it.

OK. All right, so let's start selling stuff. We're doing it. Go to room 77life.com and there's gonna be some sort of backlink portal to the dirty stuff.

So panties and, uh, maybe we get into, I don't know if there's a thing with bras or anything like that and also some old electrical equipment that I need to get rid of. I. she's good at this stuff. You can't.

You can't go to Canada. I'm sorry. Yeah, I feel like that you should just make it official. I, I wish we weren't going through a time right now and then we could just have B on full time and we could find money to pay her outbid excellence, whatever that is, because my grand scheme is like to have B here and then Bee's life would just be about the, I don't know, we'll talk about that later.

She cleans. I don't want to talk about that. Do you pay for everything. You just did the machisima thing.

That is about all we have. After this, I may take you upstairs and slap you around a little bit. I'm not sure. I was thinking maybe I'll up my fantasy a little bit.

I may put a little price tag on you, and do a little haggling. I, I, uh, we could do maybe change the Google Lights to maybe a red and work on that Amsterdam feel. Maybe. I also have another fantasy that we're working on, but I'm gonna need cooperation from other people.

It involves. An auction, so we need some volunteers for that one and an auctioneer. Yeah, if you want to hear the dollar version of all of this, go over to Patreon or go over to room 77life.com and hit the Patreon link over there. We're gonna have to split the shoutouts to accommodate, there were so many of them that I don't think we will be able to read all of them on one episode, but we wanna thank everybody.

We will get to you. We promise that is a good problem for us to have, but so much so that before this influx of patreons came in, I had been very worried about, you know, just the whole COVID thing and flying, and now we can just fly private. So we thank you for that, patreons. It's gonna be safer for us and ultimately you and the best, the best way to use our Patreon money.

Mhm. Lauren, who are these people that we are gonna thank? We have Mark, Roscoe, David, and Casey, Mark, Booty call, Jason, Liz and Mark, Jeff and Karen, LA couple, Keith, Eliza, Corbin, RA Sexy, Jay, Vanna, R&B Babies, Dustin, Barrett, S&P 2011, RW 0325 OSL 2020, M and Toby, the couple POV Heather, B and D, Lauren and Ben. Space, Jeff D, Matt and Lisa, Tyson, Susan, Lawrence T-shirt, Tom, Rosebud, Jack, Adam and Belle, Mount Lobos, Larry, Dan and Debbie, Ashley, D Brown, Zoey, Hillary, Tanya, Cannon, Sasha, PD P and Wallace, Ted, Tide Law, Ed and Kate, Katie, A, Rob, Ducks, Lawrence, John Vaughn, Clyde, Tony, Grateful Dad, my golden retriever, Chris and Michelle, Elliott, Suzallicious and Jamilia.

Cos and Dev, Hass, Ronnie, Francesca, Francesco, RNS 69, Corey, Doctor Jeff, and Doctor Karen and Mr. Kenny. All right, and you didn't hear your, your name, you will hear it in the future when we get to it. I just don't want to spend 10 minutes reading names, and this was not even really including the people who just paid to listen.

So we wanna thank you all so much. But in the meantime, Lauren, what are you addicted to this month? I am addicted to Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, and I cannot get enough of it while I'm jogging. It is the most random thing.

I know it really is, and I hit your music by accidents once, and I know that that's what you work out to, and I was like, I, I click. I look up, that's it, it was like nighttime jog. What the fuck are you running to? I'd like to jog at night and like for some reason it just takes me out of I don't know I transport I'm weird.

Listen, I don't try I don't try and pretend I'm normal that would make me crawl over to a bush and just take a nap. We can get any workout done at all. I have been addicted to the Curse of Oak Island, which is a show on the History Channel. Well, this is what it is.

It's basically a bunch of people that have been digging a hole for 7 years and have essentially found fucking Nothing at all, but I've watched almost every episode of that, 7 years digging a hole. Yeah, one time they found metal. One time they're like, we found wood. And listen, I was so addicted to it that I was like, honey, honey, they found a piece of wood, it's a wood chip.

But speaking of addictions, what, tell them about Bikini Addiction. So when you book 5 nights or more with us, you get a free bikini from Bikini Addiction.com and we will send that code to you in your welcome email or you can go to bikiniadddiction.com when you check out, use room 77 in the promo code and you will get 10% off your entire purchase. Really hot stuff, go check it out, go buy bikinis so that we We can look at you and them when we see you next time. And again, really quick, if you're thinking about going to Desire, Temptation, or taking a cruise, make sure to go to our website, room 77life.com and click on Lauren's box.

It helps us live, pay our rent, and do everything we do. We appreciate it if you go over there. And just if you wanna go around and look at our box, search her box, you can also go to OnlyFans, check out our box in there. Uh, we've got a lot of videos.

of guys that have sent in of them just jerking off that you've really appreciated. I know, well, they're not up on my website. No, but you get them, you're like, honey, look at this guy jerking off for me. So.

I love hearing that from my wife. I know it's so awesome, weird. OK, sir or madam, thank you so much for listening to our little pod. Uh, stay safe and hopefully we will see you soon.

Bye guys. And that about does it for us. For more information, photos, or to contact us, go to room 77 podcast.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77.

We had a blast. Now get your clothes and get out.