Ep. 34: How To Have 'Hot Sex’ at Desire Resorts

This podcast contains explicit content, language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adults 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer, group, or individual. Fed up with the rat race, we decided to sell everything and move to Cancun, Mexico.

Now. We do what we love. Work, party, and play at the Desire resorts. After 16 years in the lifestyle, we thought we saw it all.

We were so wrong. So wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now we want to share the fun that we get to have every day.

So come to room 77. Let's play. Well, hello everyone. hello Lauren.

How are you? I was just about to say, what if I told you right now I needed to put chapstick on? I'd say that I've been living with that for almost 18. 0 my God, now I can't stop thinking about chopstick.

I will pause it and you go get your chapstick and uh, we'll be right back. OK, all right. How's that feel? It's so much better.

I literally didn't think I could concentrate if I didn't have chapstick on. I understand, but it's all better now. That's why I love you. You're so easygoing with my idiosyncrasies.

Well, here we are. It is a very special episode. This is. A special episode today we're gonna take you on a little bit of a journey.

Lauren choose your own adventure, maybe more of like, uh, can you give me like some light background music, maybe some strings so I can maybe explain a little louder. In a world where two swingers, almost a little too loud, two swingers risk their lives fighting for a way to survive coming this summer. Now we're gonna take you on a little bit of journey and at first you're gonna be like, Oh, cool, and then you're gonna be like, Oh my, and then you're gonna be like, Oh shit. So we're gonna try to bring it to you in an order that makes a little bit of sense but is also kind of, uh, maybe entertaining at the same time.

Now we, we make a very conscious effort to keep this as positive and as light as possible. If you want to hear something other than that, there are hundreds of other amazing podcasts out there that you can go listen to that, yeah, that have a different tone. That is not our tone, but In this one, we are going to maybe brush up against some negative things and uh we apologize if it comes off a little bit dark or maybe even complacent, but that's not our goal. Our goal is actually to get the truth out there, make sure that we are representing ourselves in the light that we like to represent ourselves in, which is honest and trustworthy.

Well, this is our Platform so we have, we have the space to say what we want to to our listeners, right? But I also, I have some anger inside of me. I know I'll try and calm you down. All right, so here's basically the, the gist of it.

So we've been waiting since March basically to go back to the resort and start the workshops over for a lot of different reasons. Number 1, we love doing it. Uh, number 2, we really use the resort for some really good content that we have. But a lot of it too is we make a lot of our living through tips at the resort and that is something that was, you know, financially crunching us.

So we went back in, uh, when did we go back? June, uh, end of June, mid June. So we go back in June and everything's really going fine. People are lovely, you know, the resort's not as full as it usually is.

People are generous. People are coming to the workshop. Everybody knows you cannot stop. On that resort with a symptom.

If you have even a trace of a symptom, you cannot come back to work for, uh, 14 days, at least that's the bare minimum. They take your temperature going in, going out, uh, they ask you a bunch of questions. You have to like scan a barcode on your phone, and they do everything at the hotel to really protect their guests and their employees. So there is no way that as employees we ever stepped foot on that property with symptoms.

It's just, it was impossible. Yes, we did have COVID. We did catch COVID, but the important part of that is we caught COVID at desire while we were staying there as guests of the resort. So we stayed at the resort.

We know exactly who we got our COVID from, the wonderful little gift that we got. But at no time did we teach a workshop or attend a workshop with symptoms. In fact, the first segment of this podcast. was recorded the same day as our last workshop at the resort, and if you listen to it, there's nothing about us that sounds sick or symptomatic.

The next day is when we started to self-quarantine and then this woman turned on us like, no, it was not a bat that started COVID. It was Richard and Lauren, originally from Wuhan, China, if you, if you didn't know. But that's not only it, uh, she twisted some facts around, really fucked up our lives in, in a major way. So that's sort of one of the stories that we'll go into a little bit later.

Now, we're gonna get into the story with our first segment of what our time was like there. Then we're gonna come back and we're gonna check in and we're gonna tell you, it's like a town. Quarantino film. We're just giving you some information up front and then we're gonna go into the story and then we're gonna come back and we're gonna wrap it all up and tell you exactly what happened and how fucked up it was.

That's the oh shit part of this story. Samuel L. Jackson's in it, right, at some point, get this motherfucking COVID out of this motherfucking hotel. That's it.

So we're gonna start off our trip up to Desire and then, uh, and then we'll be back. But before we do that, we have to talk about this amazing new place where you can go creep on people like we do. It's called Alt Playground at altplayground.net. Don't go to .com.

It will take your soul. Dot net, but it is a new fun and safe place for people to connect in that lovely non-monogamous way. They have video profiles now, a bunch of other cool things that keep coming out every month. Yeah, they're always launching new stuff, but that's not the fun part.

The fun part is going on there, whether it's a Video or whether it's a profile is just scrolling and creeping and scrolling and creeping, which is what we do to most of those photos. Sometimes I touch myself, but I don't want that to creep you out. That's part of the creeping, but it is kind of creepy. So the last people that we were creeping on, who was it, Lauren, bring them up on the altplayground.net.

Love Life 804. Lovelife 804, which took our breath away and made us say, hey lady, I would like to stick myself inside of you. I would like to sit on your face. So this couple looks really, really hot.

I would believe that he is a giant. 6'6. No, 6 ft to 6'2. 0 Lord, I thought he was 6 ft 66 inches 0.2.

I was like, I wanna see you climb him as far as she goes, she is really beautiful. The top part of their profile where you can like select the bars and scroll them all the way over or whatever to me says we are DTF. We want touching. We want kissing oral fucking, we want it all.

So they have these bars over on this website, so you, they go all the way if you say like oral. And you have the bar and it's like oral full power all the way so doing it floor it. So this is what I on her she has a maybe down for a strap on with a female, and I would like to turn that maybe into a full throttle. I think that I think that you could, I feel like you're persuasive enough.

Uh, I would like to lick them everywhere. They lick. It looks like in Virginia 804 Virginia. Sure, that sounds right.

I think it's Virginia in Washington or something maybe. Go online and find Love Life 804. Get a date with them. Let us know how it went.

They're hot. We're gonna send them an email and say we creeped on you and hopefully we'll get to see more of their photos. Love it. Remember, go to altplayground.net.

Join our community while you're there, Room 77. All right, Lauren, drop it. I'm camera shy. It's hard to snap a shot.

Lucci. Put the heat on your ass if you sat in my jacuzzi's head bleeding you redheaded like Danny Bonaducci. I did that on Instagram. That was awesome.

Thank you so much. Um, so, hey, how are you? Good. I am tanner.

Yeah, we finally got a little bit of a tan the last time we were on this photon photon. I don't know what that is. Last time, last time we were on this hutton, I was, uh, having sex with your anus. Yeah, so, uh, that was a good episode.

People seem to really like the video. We surprisingly, uh, watching us fuck did very well. So with all that pent up sexual frustration we had gone up to Desire RM and we did our second workshop there, which was really good. We actually pulled in mathematically anyway, half of the hotel, so half of the hotel came to our workshop.

That's amazing, pretty impressive. So half of the people showed up to fuck in our class. Which I thought was, was really great and they were super generous and super nice. We had affiliates there that smuggled us in way too much gum.

They did. They told me the last minute they were doing carry-on. I was like, oh shit, yeah, because this was gum we paid for. They didn't like gift it to us or anything.

We just bought like a shit ton of gum. We're a little concerned that they were gonna get stopped in customs. And really sweet people and he took one of the packs out and took the piece and chewed it just to sell it so that he didn't come off as a smuggler. Yeah, he put some in his pocket and he's like, you know, and I thought I'd try a piece because it's gotta, yeah, I gotta make it real.

We almost killed him. He was like, my lips were numb. I don't know what the hell. Thank you so much for doing that, you two, and also for booking through us.

We had a really good time with them, people that you look at, you're like, there's no way these people are in the lifestyle, but they weren't really in the lifestyle, were they? They had started in January, so it was sort of like they were still trying to figure out their jam, and they texted me and said they listened to the, the last episode on the plane ride home. Yes, and they were like, it was so hot. I gotta hear that later because.

I didn't even hear that story yet, but, uh, so yeah, so we decided to use some of our points to get our free nights over there, and we were gonna stay Friday, Saturday, and leave Sunday. That is correct, right? Those are the correct days. So basically the people that we did the workshop for, the people that we are going to be staying at the hotel with, and, uh, we got yellow bands.

We got yellow bands. They were, they were out of the white ones, and they were like, Here, we're gonna, we'll go find some white ones. And we're like, no, no, we want the yellow bands. So we Go in and we always wanna be the nicest guests.

We don't wanna complain about anything, right? So we get in there and the air conditioning is working-ish, right? So they're like, Is everything OK with the room? We're like, Yeah, and they're like, What?

Tell us. Well, the air conditioner is working, but it's not working really well. They're like, Well, we'll go fix it. We're like, No, no, no, no, no, no, just fix it for the next people.

We're gonna be fine. Now this was a fuck up on our part, which we'll get to later. So our objective is pretty clear, spread our seed and get rid of this vampire look we have going on. Right, 2017.

Yeah, it was, it's just out. I am not gonna be happy unless I wind up in the burn ward tonight at Host. I burned the crap out of myself. I am completely red.

You were using the massage one. I was. A few people are like, we were wondering what sunscreen you were using. Nope, just straight up oil.

It was like he's basting himself and flipping on the half hour. We were by the pool in the front section, which is the greatest spot, like right by. Where the gazebo is, that little palapa thing, it's a great spot because it's got great sun. You get to see everybody.

You're sort of front row. The only thing that wasn't great about this particular spot is the guy who sells cigars on the beach was incredibly aggressive, I would say, and not in a like, hey man, I got some good smack for you. No, no, no. Had a completely different tactic.

This was his tactic. Ho ho hootty who now. When he did that the first time, my childlike instincts kicked in and I ran to the beach and I'm like, who do you? What's up?

What's going on? You said the secret call. Who do you? You're in the club.

And then just like my friends, he asked me if I wanted to buy cocaine. And I said, no, but that would happen every 20 minutes. You'd hear. 00, he's selling drugs or doves.

What is happening? I don't know. So we needed to, to have some sex while we were there. So I was ready.

I was ready too, but the numbers are down. So mathematically your chances are already down because you know the numbers are down. That's just math. But when I walked in, I met a gal by the pool that introduced herself like this, and this took a lot of the guesswork out for me.

She said, Hi, I'm gonna fuck you before you leave here. I've never heard that one before. OK, that, that, uh, and your name is Hi, very nice to meet you. They're really cute, Jeff and Karen.

Karen, I think, 30s. Were they in their 30s? Everybody's sort of in their 30s. That's, that's what's happening.

I don't even know if they are. I'm just getting so old that I, I, everybody's in their 30s now, but she was really, really funny. She had a really good sense of humor. She laughed at all my jokes.

That was the most important, yeah, that's how you judge a good sense. That's how you get me, but she was, um, inebriated, to say the least, when we were at the pool because we showed up at like the foam party time, right, so she wasn't like obnoxious or she wasn't like a bad drunk, well into vacation mode, yeah, she was in vacation mode. Nothing annoying about her, pretty and cute as a button. Your husband Jeff, he was also very, very sweet, although he did have this one little habit that I pointed out to him that was.

He would just stand places as if he was waiting for somebody, but he wasn't waiting for somebody. He would just sort of stand there. Kind of had a grin on his face the whole time and it wasn't in a creepy way. I told him I was like, you just, why do you just stand?

He's like, I have a hard time just sitting down. Really sweet, not in a creepy way, but it does look like he may murder someone at some point. So they were really, really cool. And now this is the gal who said, I'm gonna fuck you before you leave.

We get into the pool, foam party. I don't really enjoy foam party. Do you like foam party? I like the foam party on the side if I'm on the side of the pool because I like to dance.

Yeah, I just don't like it in there, man. I would like the foam party if it lasted like 7 minutes. Oh, look at the foam. All right, shut it down.

So yeah, so we stayed through that and then we had dinner that night. I don't remember laughing that hard with you at dinner. Since we have dated, so thank you for that. I had an amazing time that night.

I wanna say thank you. I laughed really hard. So we went out that night to the party. We meet up with Jeff and Karen.

We are about 2 glasses of water in. They are on another planet drunk. Oh my God, because I walked out that night and I was like, you're, you're probably gonna get laid tonight. I mean, this is gonna happen.

That's what she said. I literally don't have to do anything. All I have to do is stand there like her husband. Maybe that's why he stands there.

I don't have to do anything. I just have to stand there and I'm probably getting laid tonight. One of our turnoffs is overly drunk couples, so we bailed. I don't wanna do this like this.

I just don't. So we wake up the next day, go to the pool. We have to get our sun on. Hootie who is there.

Everything is cool, and then we see her in the pool. She looks, uh, not well. I'm like, Are you OK? Are you feeling good?

She's like, Uh, I'm not. I'm like, What time did you go to sleep last night? She says, Oh, I haven't been to bed yet. It's like noon.

She's like, yeah, I'll take a nap later. Oh my God, I just, my whole body just started hurting. Yeah, it just hung out, got some sun. We went out that night.

They were taking the night off because they had obviously they drank too hard that night. They were like, we're taking this day off. She fucked it all up. Now I gotta wake up the next day and it's Sunday.

This is our checkout day, but we're gonna stay by the pool. I don't have much time left, right. All you got was your wife, yeah, but that doesn't count. That's not why we're there now.

This is Father's Day, so we're spending the entire day where people are hiding in corners going, Oh, hello. Hi baby. Where were you? Uh, the kids were calling.

I had to go to the room. You could see them pacing like they wanna be nice, but at the same time they're like, OK, let's get off the fucking phone now. So wrap it up. Wrap this up.

Daddy wants to go get his cock sucked. So, and we had walked by one lady and you could tell that she was talking to her dad. Her dad must have been old because she was screaming into the phone, I love you, dad. I love you.

And I wanted to scream, Your daughter's a whore. But I thought that would have broken the mood. He probably wouldn't have heard. No, he wouldn't have heard anything.

So we're sitting on the, the other end of the pool now. So now we're facing the palapa front row again. This is my last sun time, right? Putting more Crisco on myself.

I gotta get burned up. And as I'm lathering myself up with oil, I noticed Jeff is standing there as he does. He's just watching me lather up. Karen's not there with a smile, and I'm like, yeah, he's like smiling.

I'm like, all right, I'm into this, you know, watch me oil up. Let's do this shit. I'm scared. I'm not scared of this.

I say, Where's Karen? She says, uh, you know, she's in the room, and I'm like, he really is just gonna stand here now. This one was my fault. They were sitting in the chairs next to us.

I had no idea, so he was technically standing next to his chair, but he had already set a precedent that he just stands places you weren't sure and I wasn't sure. And I was like, Oh, you're sitting here. Oh, that makes more sense. OK, then, I'm gonna get on with my oil lathering.

Oh, and that's the other thing. Just standing there, Jeff, by the way, comes out with, oh, by the way, I'm bilingual. I speak, I speak fluent Spanish, but now I'm like, You're bilingual. Yeah, I speak Spanish too.

I'm like, You fucker. This always pisses me off when you hide that you're bi anything to me. Don't hide your biness from me, bisexual, bilingual, nothing. So, uh, she comes down to the pool and of course I start flirting with her a little bit more.

When you deny anybody for whatever. A reason it creates an awkwardness, right? So I had said to her, we had said to her, we're like, Look, you're just too drunk for us. It's just not our thing.

But I think even that little bit made her feel awkward, and I was like, you, you weren't awkward at all. What would have been awkward is if anything tried to happen that would have been awkward. I don't want you to feel that way, you know. We got along.

I made up with her by rubbing my cock on her leg, and I got really, really hard. And then she said to me, I have a tiny pussy. Why did you say that. Now we have to have sex like today.

So we got up on the chair. I'm putting more oil on myself. You come over and you start blowing me for everyone to see, for the to gander at because it's what we do. I'm lying there.

She had already told us she's like, I'm not into public sex at all, just not into the exhibitionist thing at all. I'm like, Totally cool. Don't need to do anything. But she started to go down on me at the pool and Then like it was just her and I mean she was sucking my cock for like a good 10 minutes.

It felt like 10 minutes. Yeah, it was probably more than that because he and I were just sort of holding hands. I don't even know what we were doing just watching. You were watching and I start dirty talking to you, which I didn't know the pool was listening.

Did you know that? Yeah, people came up to me afterwards. We were like, we love that dirty talk. I'm like, What dirty talk?

Because I turned to you and I'm like, You like her sucking my cock, honey? You like watching your husband suck. Yeah, and the people were like, we heard that, we were like, oh, that's fucking awesome. They were both full like we are fucking today before you leave.

I don't care how it happens, but it's gonna fucking happen. Of course, I have to play water volleyball. That is very, very important. I have to do that.

Uh, I don't normally talk shit about the playmakers, but I hated my playmaker on the team. I hated her. She's treating us like seven year olds. Oh, she totally was like the mean camp counselor.

She, she made us lost. We lost. It's called. She made us loststers.

We're all a bunch of loststers. You are. We're like, hey, look, uh, we gotta pack. We got an hour.

You wanna fuck? We're gonna do this now. And she's like, I'm down. We're going right now.

We go back to the room. I took a shower because I was very, very hot. My body temperature was already very, very high. At first degree burns all over my body, which I'm happy with.

Things that already sort of started to happen, but all I can think about her saying, I have a really tiny pussy. I'm like, Oh God, and she did. She had a tiny pussy, and I gotta tell you what, felt like yours. You have a tiny pussy too, so two tiny pussies.

I just kept saying that in my head. Two tiny pussies. You guys start going at it a little bit, then I jump on top of her, and then Jeff starts going down on you and giving you oral for like, mm, 7 hours. And I'm like that's good because I never really do that to her anymore because we've been together too long and I'm like, uh, use your vibrator.

You got people who'll do that for you now, you know what I mean. So anyway, he was down there doing some good things at this time. He had that facial hair going on, so it was like this, like a stuffed animal down there being naughty and just Yeah, I enjoyed watching that while I was sort of teasing her a little bit, started playing with her a little bit, and she was so wet. I'm not even gonna do foreplay.

I just, I have to be inside of her right now. So I ran over, I literally stumbled with the condom like I do. It's, I can never break them open. I don't know what they're fucking made of.

I don't know why they don't have little for men tear here spots. They should. We're panicking at that moment and your hands are luby. They're wet.

They've got oil. You can't stroke yourself and do a package with two fingers at the same time. I guess you can use your teeth. I'll do that next time, or I'll just go bareback.

So, uh, better, yeah, better choice. Yeah, it's on. It's a new kind of condom. Can't see it.

I think I used this joke before. You just put the ring on and you're like, yeah, it's transparent. It's there, I promise, it's a new brand. So she looks at me, she's like, I wanna ride you and I'm like, no, no, no, I wanna stick my cock inside of you.

I stick my cock inside of her. And I go to town. I was trying really, really, really, really hard. You were working.

I was working really hard, way harder than you work on me. She felt, yeah, of course. I mean, I was like, look at that. Look at that hip movement.

I haven't seen from noticed that, right? Magic Mike whipping it out over there. Magic Mike. It is.

I was like James Brown up in that bitch. I was, my hips going dun dun dun. I was just, I was going deep because she was so wet. I was like, I think this one actually likes it.

I think I found one. I think I'm doing good. So I started going extra fast, extra hard. Look over at you and you're just turning.

This is when things start going bad because it's just like Richard to ruin everything, right? So then she said, so I say, well, why don't you get on top of me, right? All right, I'll get on top of you. And I sort of take her on top of me and she starts going.

Now, this is when Richard's body goes, shut down, shut down, overheat, overheat. It looks like I'm coming down off of meth. Like I've been on meth. For 17 days and I just went cold turkey.

I am dripping with sweat. I'm as red as an apple from the sun. My body core temperature is probably 100 degrees baseline. I am sweating so hard and I'm thinking, why did we not get the fucking air conditioner fixed?

Because I look at everyone and everyone is drenched in sweat. Everyone is sweating. Everyone is, and, and we turned it down to like one. My body starts to shut the fuck down.

So I'm shutting down. I have a condom on. She's still super wet and I can't feel anything. And I'm like, I'm gonna die.

Like I felt lightheaded. I had asked, I'm like, Is anybody else hot? Is anybody? And they're like, Yeah, it's pretty, pretty hot in here.

I'm like, God, I should have gotten that air conditioner fixed. So we had finished up because I'm like I'm out. I, I can't. I have to go bring my body core temperature down and rinse myself off.

That's how hard I was working and I'm glad you witnessed it though. I mean, and I'm not a jealous person. Like I don't get jealous of, of, of seeing the, the girls and stuff like that, but I was jealous of those goddamn hip movements. I'll tell you.

I'll give you some of that hip movie, all right, because you know, I, I gotta tell you though, I gotta be honest with you. I'm gonna be honest, in that, in this particular situation, I was able to do a lot of that because I had the condom on. It numbed the sens the sensation just enough where I was able to really go hard because I don't like you can feel the end of my vagina. No, no, no, no, I don't want to come too fast.

With you, I am pacing myself because I, I don't wanna come too fast. I want it to last longer than it lasts, but I'm, I'm, I'm so bad at sex. But that's true though. But, but it's true.

But I will. You make me come really fast. I, I, I love having sex with you. I really do.

That's, and I do come really fast. Should I reciprocate that down, huh? No, you don't have to. You don't have to lie in front of everyone.

It's fine, but yeah, so the condom and the wetness, there was a lot that was like, oh, I can really go to town here and I'm not going to premature ejaculate. I didn't even know if it was because of different heights and different body types. It's like you can get in different positions and no, she's laying down on her back. Everybody's the same on their back.

They are, yeah, OK. I will do it next time. Some of that Magic Mike James Brown shit. I'm I'm gonna do that.

Yeah, I, I just have to, I have to plan better. I have to like come and then I'll do you again. I'll add maybe another 3 minutes. Stop.

Maybe. Well, it's not good did good today. I still came sooner than I wanted to because we, we had shit to do. No, I, I, it just felt too good and you were so turned on tonight.

So what you need earplugs now if you can't hear what I'm saying to you. You just say stuff to me, but then you can't hear what I'm saying to you. I don't know, but sometimes you say some fucked up shit. Oh, you told me to shut up in the bed.

I forgot. Do you remember? Yeah, I've told you that before. I'm like, shut the fuck up.

Don't stop saying dirty shit. You're gonna make me come too fast. Stop it. Enough.

I, I feel like she had expectations of me, so I was trying to pretend I was a porn star, which I'm not. You gotta get, you gotta act young when you're with the young ones, and, uh, I failed her. Oh, you're so cute because you do do that. Like, do you think she enjoyed it?

Do you really think she enjoyed? I like, oh my God, that's such a cute thing. Like I have an insecure swinger husband that after we do stuff, he's like, I hope she enjoys. I hope she did.

It's really cute. I feel bad I got overheated because I, I did like once my body overheated, my dick was like it only stayed at half-mast after that, and I knew it wouldn't go back up until my body cooled down. I was just that what I should have stayed in the same position. I would have been fine.

But she had said, I wanna get, I wanna be on top of you, and I wanted to give that to her, so I ruined it for myself, and I ruined it by not getting the air conditioner fixed. And then what they don't even know is you were so turned on after they left, you jumped back into bed and got your vibrator and kept on coming. I have to do that sometimes. Like you did that and I ran and gave her a hair clip that she left in the room.

You're masturbating with a vibrator. I'm like, oh my God, she forgot her hair clip. That's what she's gonna miss. I come back and you're still vibrating away.

I turn into like the most selfish cunt. I'm like, I want more, and you're so empathetic to anyone else. Like, is she to have a good time? She forgot her hair clip.

Do you need a Gatorade to go? I did. I'm running across the resort naked like, please like me, please. Yeah, it's, I've already written desire a strongly worded letter.

I did on that on the way out. You did it in your head. No, we said it to the, to the guy. He's like, again, sorry about the air conditioner.

I was like, I just tried to have sex in there and I couldn't. Fucked me up. It's like we said we would fix it. I'm like, I know it's our fault.

He just laughs at us. Uh, so that was that's it. That was the, uh, the foursome that was just way too hot. All right, well, anyway, that was our first, uh, time back in a long time.

Hopefully we can do it again next month. Maybe, maybe we'll stay again. No, I think we should do every month. OK, yeah, I think we should.

We have enough points stayed up. We have a lot of gathered points. We're like squirrels with our points because we only use 2 days. That's enough.

Yeah, God, it was enough. I couldn't even go to the gym the third morning. I was like, uh, yeah, so, all right, maybe, uh, maybe we'll do it again in July. Yeah, we have to.

There's room. I'm gonna tell people to start booking, yeah, and we're gonna get, uh. Maybe get that airtight August going. Maybe we'll stay there for a longer period of time.

Who wants to do, uh, an airtight August, uh, party? I do. It's just, I think we should do a party every month and just see how I can't, I can't do that, honey. We already have like people coming.

We might as well just tell other people to come, but you can find somebody way cooler than me, and then you can have like stand-in Richard. Mhm. And her, his name is Zac Efron. Oh no.

Do you think Zac Efron would do it? Has he started following us on Twitter yet or Instagram? He has not. He's not following us back.

No, I actually was going through like the top accounts you are least inactive with. You know who is in there? Who Zac Efron. God damn it.

I know we're not. Active anymore together it's just like Zach. All right, well, let's start planning our next trip. My penis is ready.

I'm a little bit, I have a little more color. We'll find, uh, whatever weekend is like the deadest, and we'll book it. We'll say let's do it. And if you are that lady who had sex with me and you did have a good time, please call in and let us know.

Call in. We don't have a phone, so send us a text. Who do you do? Hello, hello, who's this?

This is the gal that had sex with you. Hey guys. Welcome. Thanks.

And by the way, I loved it. I loved it too. I really did. We really appreciate it.

So we're gonna call you Jeff and Karen. This is what I wanna know. Do you remember saying, Hey, I'm gonna fuck you before you leave here? Of course I do.

Oh my gosh, I was waiting for you all day and I And there was even another couple that came in. He came in first, and I'm pretty sure I was pretty sure it was you. And I made a lap around the pool and got like within 3 ft. I was like, nope, not him.

But if he doesn't show up, you, you, sir, are a very close second. Well, that makes me feel really, really great because, you know, I, I don't feel good about myself all the time. And when people want to have sex with me, that's what I told her. I, well, you came to me and you're like, oh God, you're just like, oh, I just see.

Yummy and this and that and I was like, please, please go and say all these things because it's not a lot of times that girls are confident enough to say what they want and then say it to me or say it to him and just even if they do think it, they won't say it. I'm like, oh my God, I'm so happy that you're like confident in voicing it. Let's go. Yeah, she, she does not have.

A lack of confidence, that's for sure. Karen Karen does not have a lack of confidence. And then the other thing, Jeff, that I wanna touch on briefly is, did you know before you went to desire that you just stand in spots? Did you, was that something that you had always been aware of?

On, on occasion I've, I, I've been accused of that. I, I just think it's, you know, typically less creepy when you're not naked. I agree. You know what, you might be right.

I never really thought about it like that. It's just not as apparent until you're a person standing there didn't notice him, a naked person standing there. That's kind of fucked up. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm working on it.

I'm working on it. No, it was lovely. You don't come off creepy at all. I want you to know that.

I don't want you to. I don't want anybody to think that because you don't. He's always smiling, so it made it OK. We also left this part out.

One of the things that you gave us was a pair of shorts because one of the first things I said to you was, I love your shorts, and they're like sort of pink, and they had little sharks on them, and I had asked who bought them, and I I think you bought them yourself, is that correct? I did. I did buy them myself, but you have very good taste. You really do.

I, I'm always impressed with a man who is like fashion forward and yeah, because it is very hard. I tried, I think I've succeeded a little bit in trying to get guys to stop wearing board shorts. Uh, that, that has to stop immediately. So I'm trying to spread that word, and I was guilty of that even just, uh, I guess 2 years ago.

You know what I mean. You know, when I do my editorials on the side for fashion, it's one of the things that we talk about. So I know that Jeff listened to most, if not all, of the podcasts, but I remember, Karen, that you weren't quite caught up. Is that correct?

It's correct. And I, uh, I think I just finished up episode 15, so I have some Jesus, oh my God, we were like 12. Although she did listen to anal anal anal, oh yeah, it was so good. Oh, you jumped ahead.

You jumped ahead a little bit. Did we inspire you at all for anal, anal, anal? Uh, yeah. This is what we try to do.

Yeah, I keep trying to dust the butt plug off and, uh, and I, I think she's game now, but we're still trying. I talked a big game last night, but then I got real tired. Oh, it takes a lot of energy. I got a text.

I, it does. I got a text though from a friend that read this. Hey brother, you just increased my chances of getting anal by 300%. Thank you very much.

Oh no, I would, and I would, I would totally second that, but I mean I will say that the podcast really helped her get comfortable with going desire, and I mean she clearly once she is somewhere, she gets comfortable pretty fast, but Yeah, you seem comfortable. One of the things that we didn't really go into that much into too much detail was our thing with, with being too drunk. And one of the things we didn't really get into was that sort of, you felt like awkward a little bit. You're like, now I feel like a little bit awkward.

We really go into it, but did you, did you understand where we were coming from? I did. And I think what I maybe struggled with a little bit is being so attracted to both of you, and really wanting things to happen, and then also knowing like, I have this like small window of time, not only like, because you were checking out Sunday, but also like my own small window of time where I am somewhere between feeling awful and hungover, feeling really good, and then cruising. on into late night and completely losing my mind and I know that about me.

So I'm like I just have to play it cool, not get too drunk, and like being around you during the day. I think I was just wasn't feeling great any of the days we were hanging out at the pool except for that first day, just trying to be cognizant of my own like Nobody did anything wrong or or anything like that. I think we as a foursome bounced back relatively well. Yeah, it's that honesty of being able to just be like, hey, we adore you.

We have cool time talking to you. We don't want to stop hanging out. Yeah, we don't want to stop. We want to make sure that you feel like not weird.

Now how long have you guys been in the lifestyle? Uh, like 67 months. Yeah, long enough. You're veterans.

You're doing very, very well. We, we, we, we definitely, uh, had to stop calling ourselves complete newbies after the desire trip, so yeah, because you guys were, uh, you guys were doing pretty well there before we, we showed up. I feel like I could fuck anybody now. Believe me, anybody would be honored to have that, that tiny little pussy.

But one of the things that I think is a mistake for couples sometimes is if something as small as that happens, something as silly, something as sort of insignificant, what happens is the next day, people don't address it. They, they almost distance themselves from one another and that insecurity really drives. the two couples away and it, it becomes worse. I want to commend you for really just sort of not going into a shell and being open and being vulnerable enough to be like, yeah, that's the way it was.

I'm taking today off, but I still wanna have fun. That's just to anybody who's listening. Look, we're not experts at anything, but in that, that case, we see it happen all the time that, that little insecurity sort of seeps in and then. It's just everything's ruined.

Well, he was watching you guys come to the pool and we were already there and he was like, oh my God, are they avoiding us? Do you think like she's mad or whatever because we're used to stuff and we watch people. That's what we do. Like we're there to, to guess where their head is at and try and unwind it from there and circumvent whatever problem is happening because we want everyone to have a good time and we don't want to be the cause of any ungood time.

Well, we appreciate that, and I, to your credit too, you, you talked to us about it. You could, you could have chosen not to or also avoided us. And so I think just talking about it and being honest, we're certainly, I'm a very honest person. I'll I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking, and I know not everybody can do that.

I'm sure you've seen all kinds of weirdo situations, but yeah, I just appreciate you talking to me about it, and we were able to have like the best, hottest sex ever. It was the hottest. It was the hottest. It was, it was incredibly hot.

I really wish I was able to come. I wanted to come so bad. I was so upset that I didn't come. I was so, but listen, maybe next time, next time when you kidnap us, next time when we kidnap you, Jeff, how can you tell everybody how you learned how to speak Spanish again?

Well now you have to go into specifics. I traveled a lot of Spanish speaking countries. Sure, so, um makes sense. a summer in the Yucatan and then I spent, you know, a, a, a summer in the Guadalajara area and one summer in Spain.

Took classes all those places and worked a few of them. It's amazing because if you took somebody and you said, which person does not speak Spanish, every, literally everybody would point to you. So do you get like a shocked look when you start speaking Spanish to some of the staff at Desire? Definitely initially, and then, and then of course they won't speak anything but Spanish to me.

Yeah, I mean that I, I enjoy that as well. It's one of the probably things I get the most enjoyment about going to Mexico. I bet. It's something that living here for so long, it's something we still wish that we could do, but our Spanish is still so bad that we start to speak Spanish and instead of switching over, they just switch right back to English and we switch to Spanish and they're like, no, no, no, no, not practicing with me.

You're not that good. Let's keep this in the universal language area, OK, because you're fucking this shit up bad. I don't have this kind of time to sit here and teach you. You don't have time for this.

It is not cute. Yeah, so I was super jealous of you when you came over and you started talking to Pal, who I love pal so much. All I want to do is impress her all the time. And you just start talking to her in Spanish.

I'm like, what the fuck? It, it was definitely one of the prouder moments of my life. Oh God, yay. I'm, I'm really does love pow too.

Yes. How can you not? How can you not love pow? I mean, she's just, I spend time, I tell Lauren this, I spend time just staring at her, almost, I guess, like Jeff.

I just sort of. To sort of stand there and watch her do her thing because I don't know she's like a character out of a book to me. Well, we just wanted to have sex with her. Who doesn't?

Who doesn't want to have sex with Powell? I mean, god damn. All right. And then really quickly, lastly, the one thing that I just wanted to briefly touch on aside from giving us a pair of shorts, one of the things you also gave us was COVID-19.

I'm real sorry. In, in our defense, we had no idea that we had it. I get. Listen, you guys were not symptomatic at all, uh, when we were, when we were hanging out, when we were having sex, but one of the things that Karen and Jeff and myself, when we first met, one of the very first conversations that the three of us had together was, can we just get it all ready and get over it?

Oh, that's funny. It was one of the first things we said, and we all wound up giving it to one another. That's really funny. So talk about things getting exactly what you wished for.

Um, are you guys OK now? Yes, yes. So I mean we're, we're, we're both feeling much better. Honestly, it was interesting.

I mean we, we got back to the states and wondered for a day or two if our hangover was just ever gonna go away and we just, yeah, yeah. felt that way for a little bit because we, you know, I mean we definitely went after it hard at desire, but I mean I will say like very, very possible we, we gave it to you and we're fairly confident that, you know, there was another guest. Don't know who they were that I don't think we showed up there with it at all, but, uh, um, it's so hard to know where we picked it up from. It's, it's impossible, right?

And this is we're also not doing the blame game. Like, you know, you go to desire, you kiss a bunch of. People slash have sex and give blowjobs and I mean, you just sort of kind of you're putting yourself at risk. That's the thing you have to realize there is no magic shield here.

It is a different country, but it, you know, the virus, it really doesn't know race, religion, age, nothing. So if you can get it around the corner from you, you can get it here and we, we really don't know if you gave it to us. We really have no idea. We don't know where we.

Got it. The thing that got a little confusing for people was a lot of people didn't know that we were guests staying with guests there, so it got a little confusing. But again, we're gonna talk about that in a, in a separate place. But we do appreciate that you at least reached out to us as part of like the community, which, you know, is kind of how everything rolls in the lifestyle community.

It's like, hey, I got strep. Just want to let you guys know. It reminds me right now I forgot to tell them I have gonorrhea. something I, I left out.

I just, because it just hit me right now when I was thinking about what I was when I say I was never more balls deep inside of somebody, uh, Kyra would be it. Yeah, I was trying to hit that. I was trying to hit that spot right that far up. You did over and over.

But uh, I'm glad you guys are OK and uh yeah, we had a, we had a rough sort of emotional time with it, I guess. Did you guys both get sick together at the same time? We did sucks, doesn't it? I mean, it's just like I, I don't know how else to say this, honey, don't be sick.

You need to take care of me. He would be like rolling over and be like, is it time for my Tylenol? And I'm like, I've been passed out. I've passed out and he wakes me up to ask me if he needs medicine.

I'm like, Can you help help a bitch out right now? You boys are the worst patients. Oh my God, I'm the biggest baby ever. And I was, I was angry.

That she was sick and for us the same thing for us the same thing for the 1st 3 days or so if our symptoms had started like on a Wednesday afternoon and I don't know if you guys remember when you were here that big dust storm from Africa was sort of blowing over the area sort of made it look cloudy, but it wasn't cloudy. It looked more polluted than anything else and we thought it was that that's what we initially. I thought we were like, God, this, this dust cloud is really getting to us today. I have a scratchy throat.

Yeah, and we shut the windows to the house. Yeah, things went downhill from there, but, uh, yeah, and I know you guys were not the only ones at the resort. I just think it was really nice of you to be completely honest with us and just it was worth it. Good job, totally worth it.

I'd do it again, sister. No, I was gonna say I totally would do it again. I mean, we're hoping to go back soon. I mean, I would certainly don't want to get anyone sick, but it doesn't matter.

We're immune, bitches, right. We're gonna start the immunity club. Go on, Jeff. Sorry.

But, but no, I mean, we, we, we had such a good time our first time, and thank you guys so much because you were a huge part of it. And, and thank you for being guests while we're there because that was, that was definitely a huge piece because, you know, I mean, we'd have had to walk down the beach or something. We, I was gonna figure it out. We would have figured it out.

It worked out. See, it all worked out for some weird odd reason, but uh. And next time book through us because I remember yelling at you for that for not booking through us, so you will do that. Can you tell everybody how temperature hot it was in that room when we were having sex?

I don't know how to convert from Fahrenheit to Celsius, but I'm going to say it was fucking 100 degrees in your room. It was like 100 degrees. Oh my God, and it was so humid. I'm pretty sure everything was foggy.

All of the like mirrors and the like door, the glass on the door, everything was like dripping wet like your TV was wet. Yeah, we were both so wet. That's how I see it. We were both so wet.

I'm not even sure we could find our cubby at the end. I had a cubby. I forgot that was so cute. I looked at Jeff and I was like, Are you hot?

And as I said it, I could see he was dripping in sweat. And then emotionally hot on top of it. So it was, it was quite amazing. And then the last, last question I have for you, how much would you have missed that hair clip had I not discovered.

Buddy, it's like a $5 hair clip, but I can't tell you how much it means to me. It's so freaking awesome of you. Thank you. Throw it down and make sure we had all our belongings, especially that damn hair clip.

That was something I needed every day at the pool. I want you to, whenever you wear that hair clip, I will think of you fondly. She just really wanted to see your penis again. Yes.

I get it. But just so you know, when I think of you, both of you, uh, because I was on the 2nd story and I had looked down and I was like, yeah, and they're like, oh my God, thank you so much. I said, I'm gonna throw this down. And Karen was like, I got it.

And then I looked at Jeff and I was like, who's the better catcher? And he's like, yeah, honey, I got this one. And that's sort of the last image I have of the both of you in my head is looking down and catching this hair clip, and then I went back and discussed disgusting Lauren was in bed with a vibrator. Good for you, sister.

I got me worked up. Thank you so much. We really, really appreciate it. Thank you for calling in.

I don't know how you got the number. That was amazing. I listen, I'll hunt you down, buddy. I love you.

You already did. Thank you so much. Thank you guys. I will wait to see you soon.

All right, so that was the fun part. That was when everything was happy go lucky, happy. Everything was amazing. I mean, it was a little hot.

It was, it was very hot, but then things sort of, how do I put this, fell to shit, right? This is, right? So, uh, what happens is, is we go in that Tuesday. So we leave the resort on a Sunday, uh, we come back Tuesday, we're still feeling fine.

We, we do the workshop. That's it. That's when this human dumpster shows up to our workshop. And sort of ruined in the lifestyle.

Yeah, no, she's not in the lifestyle, so she's she wanted to do the workshop. Yeah, she's immune and mind you, she came to this workshop with 4 other couples. She was not wearing a mask at any point during her stay because I saw her by the pool. I saw her at the workshop not wearing a mask, and we asked her not once, not twice, but 3 times, Do you want to be touched?

And each time she said, Yes, I do, along with the husband. This is her. Being concerned, I guess, with catching COVID. So we do the workshop that day.

We come home, we record, uh, the very next day, Wednesday, we start feeling symptoms. You early in the day, you're like, uh, I don't know. I think it's, we thought it was that dust cloud that was happening that later that night I start to develop a fever. The same night we get a message from the couple that you just heard on the podcast that we're like.

Like, hey guys, listen, here's the deal. A few of our friends have tested positive for COVID, and we ourselves are not feeling that well. Well, all of those things put together, the next morning we decide we're not going. No can do.

It's just not say it's not smart. It's not no idea if we have COVID. I'm not taking it in there, but we're not gonna take it in there. It was, there was, there was no way.

It was just like all of these things put together. You don't have to be a. Fucking epidemiologist, what are they called, epidemiologists to, to put these things together and be like, hey, I might be putting people at risk. So we send a text to the GM of the hotel, the entertainment manager, the front desk, and the assistant to the entertainment manager telling all of them individually, hey, here's how we're feeling.

This is what we're gonna do. We're not gonna come in and we're not gonna come in for two weeks to make. Make sure it's, it's safe. Not even planning on getting tested at this point, really.

So we send those messages out. They all go, OK, great, thumbs up. That's it. A week later now, it is literally a week later, and it is Tuesday, and we're supposed to show up for the next workshop.

Now here's what we're up against. We have affiliates that booked through us that are coming in. We have friends that are coming in to see us. Many, many, many people to email us and say, are you going to be there this week, you know, whether they're members, uh, patreons, whatever.

We decided, all right, well, we have to reach out to these people and say, look, we're not gonna be there, we're self-quarantining. So we do this in a few different ways. We send out an individual email to each person that was supposed, supposed to check into the hotel through us, our friends who were podcasters, uh, spiritual swingers. Doctor Jeff, we're supposed to meet, uh, new with Tags podcast.

All these people are eventually coming in. So there's no way to just ghost. There's no way to just be like, guys, like what's going on? Um, we got stuck in traffic.

Like there's no way to ever pull this off. So we send out an email, we put one story on Instagram that says, hey, we'll be back, we're gonna, we're not feeling well, we'll be back after we get. Tested because we want to make sure and we put up one message on Patreon that said, sorry for the slowdown in content. Basically we have the sniffles, we'll be back soon.

That is when everything went to holy fuck. It's like it was one of those little bombs that explode or something. I don't know. It's just such a tiny, tiny thing and it just, what happens is the resort, I guess.

Monitors our personal Instagram, which I still find weird and creepy. They have a conniption fit. Why did you put this up? We're like, I didn't know that there was a rule.

We had no idea what you wanted. You never said don't put anything up. You are sick. You know we're sick.

You've known for a week now. By the way, not the first time that this has happened. They're like, uh, hey, you guys posted this thing, and we're like, Yeah, you're not tagged in it. Nor is there a hashtag that refers to you in any way.

It doesn't really make any sense, but still, we're like, what can we do to help, right? Take it down. Someone on the Patreon page took a screenshot of our personal message. He took that.

He posted it on Facebook. That one screenshot, that waste of space of a woman took that screenshot and said, Here are the instructors that got us sick at the workshop, and. Used that photo as her proof that we were sick, not that we were ever really lying about it, but we did get a blood test. We did, which came back negative, and we're like, in 2 hours.

This seems weird. And then we, after reading and understanding what the blood test was, we were like, this is not what we need. This is different. So there was a very short period of time, maybe a day where we were like, oh, we don't have COVID, we, we're negative, but that was wishful thinking.

Meanwhile, we're just putting up posts and then taking them down because every time we put something up someone would photo it or take a screenshot and then repost it for their own narrative so we wound up leaving up one post that was like, hey, if you wanna talk to us, meet us at a bar in Puerto Morelos, otherwise I'm not printing anything anymore. Nothing else goes in print because there was another message from management that came down. Again, like they just relentlesslyshotting stuff. Hey, this is what came through today.

This is what came through today, and we're like, I can't control Facebook. It has already been stolen. People have it. It's been in Kick.

It's been in Facebook. It's been on WhatsApp. What exactly do you want us to do? It's going on QVC soon.

Yes, what happened was, we were in a corner at that point. We have this woman who won't explain to people I wasn't. And aware that they were at the hotel for 4 days straight, I am just going to blame them. A few facts about I spent 90 seconds with them, yeah, total of 90 seconds.

But this woman who got symptoms 7 days after we touched her, after being so concerned about spreading the virus, got those symptoms and stepped on a plane and went home. Fuck you, lady. How dare you potentially get me sick. How dare you touch me after I said yes.

How dare you risk me like this? Hey lady, we have no idea. We were tested before we walked in this place this morning. We have no symptoms whatsoever.

I don't care, Mr. Instructor. I have put myself in a position where I am in a confined space with people who may have COVID. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fever and a plane to catch.

Fuck you, lady. Fuck you lady, because undoubtedly she got someone else sick. There's at least, at least one person. They each got at least one person sick.

Now I want you to take one person from that plane, and I want you to take her post of her complaining, but I'm gonna take that information and I'm gonna reach out to each one of her Facebook. Friends, and I'm gonna say, here, your friend was coming home from a swinger resort and believes that she got her virus in a sex workshop where she was jerking off her husband in front of a bunch of people. So, here's the screenshot. There's all that information.

Good luck with your life, lady. Because I don't know, but what about the plane? What were you gonna say about the plane? Well, the, the plane is, is like the workshop.

So you have a bunch of people who unknowingly could have possibly spread to anybody, right? She is knowingly getting on that plane with symptoms with symptoms, but doesn't give a shit about anybody around her except herself. That's it, me, me, me, me, me. That's all I care about.

Now, look, if you get on a plane with symptoms, that is up to you, OK? We are not here to judge your morals or your ethics or to say what is right or wrong. We're not here to judge that. However, if you are a hypocrite, we will judge that.

And lady, you are a hypocrite and fuck you, and I say, good day, sir. I say good day. Because I think this, Lauren, I think that her friends would react to that kind of information and be like, oh my, you were where you were what? And I don't think that she would enjoy having her information shared like that without context around it.

But most importantly, I really believe that they would look at this woman and say, yeah, that's a pretty good fucking way to catch COVID. Hey lady, hey lady, stay out of sex workshops. In fact, don't go to a fucking hotel. How about that?

There's one option. Look, we're not happy with what happened. We are very angry, as you may have heard in my tone. No, yeah, uh, and we're not happy with either side, but what we wanna say is this, and we will end on this for everyone, no matter what position you are in when it comes to this virus, when it comes to not only going to desire, but any place, and I heard this on a podcast called Behind the Yard Sign, I'm gonna steal it, have the courage of your convictions, meaning if you decide to leave your house for a non-essential service and you are going outside into the world.

While this pandemic is still happening, you have raised your risk for yourself. You have to own that. Know that you went to a hotel or a Costco or a Walmart or wherever you decided to go, whether you wore a mask or not wore a mask. It doesn't really matter, but have the courage of your convictions that you went there, raising the risk for you to get the virus, OK?

If you are a business owner, have the courage of your convictions that you provided. Face masks for everybody that you are trying to keep your staff clean. You're trying to keep your clients from not spreading the virus, and you've done everything that you could from your standpoint to protect your people. In this case, the hotel did do everything they could to protect their people.

They tested everyone. Everyone wears masks. Everyone does everything. Everything is voluntarily.

We still ask, do you want to be touched? You have every right to say, you know what, I don't want that right now. Well, and then we caught the virus because we weren't, we chose not to wear a mask and be in close contact with others who weren't doing it. The most important, we played with a couple that was possibly infected.

I mean, we can only do it by chronology, but even that is sketchy at best. But yes, Lauren, you are correct. We did the literal opposite of social distancing, and the only thing that wore a mask was my penis. And even that was for a very, very short amount of time.

So we chose those things and this is the position we're in. We're between this lady who's spreading false information and between a hotel who put up every fail-safe and protocol in place to protect everyone, but both sides are coming at us, so we're like badgers in a corner. We can't defend ourselves and no one's on and no one's on our side. It sucked.

Courage of your conviction. We don't blame them. Who we blame is ourselves. That's who we blame.

But what leads us to next is because of that woman's, uh, post, they immediately canceled the workshop. It strained the relationship between us and the hotel over nonsense. We have no information of if. Or when we are going back it financially it hurt us a lot.

We have been basically, you know, out of work for 4 months now, and it, it just took it off the table for an indeterminable amount of time, amount of time ordefinite, indefinite, um, so we want to close this very negative section. Of Room 77 with a with a positive at the very least, there are really good people out there. We want to thank the Patreons so much because when we started, uh, Patreon, we never ever thought we would be in a position where we were almost dependent on that money and it has become a The amount of messages that we got, people were reaching out like, I heard you guys are sick. Are you OK?

And then people were like, we were like, I don't know what to say because people are everybody at the hotel is like, Don't, you can't say you're sick. All our friends are like, What is going on? And then it's these rumors start popping up everywhere. We just wanna thank the people out there who did support us, who did.

Come to our, our defense. Gary, who does the communities over at Desire on, on Facebook, I reached out to him because I was like, look, man, this has to disappear. It's not true. It's just not true.

I know this woman thinks we were there on one day and she wants to blame us, but she just unemployed us from that one post, unemployed. Uh, yeah, we just wanted to take a moment and say thank you so much. To the people who supported us, this hasn't been a really easy time for us because uh we, we got sick at the same time. It is not an easy virus to get hit with those kinds of texts and blame and trying to get people to take down stuff while your wife.

is in a hospital literally getting X-rays because her chest is tightening up and you're fighting with people to please take down your post, uh, was maddening and exhausting, and, uh, we know one thing, we're not gonna lie to anybody, and we're not going to, uh, Whatever the cost, it's like we tried to keep stuff quiet and be like vague and. Everything and it's just like for me especially, I, you know, Instagram, everyone knows Instagram is me, your Twitter, we both do Facebook and you know, I put it up there on Instagram at story at night like we're waiting for results to come back in from other people. We'll be back soon, the workshops are canceled this week just to be like, hey, and you know, do you, I do message a lot of people. I enjoy.

Staying in touch with people. I enjoy that personal relationship and getting people and getting them here and and working up to that trip, but getting them here under false pretenses is not something that we want to be a part of in any way, any way, shape or form. No, I can't do it. We're not gonna lie to you in any way.

The truth is, is if people are sick up there, we have no idea. We really have no idea and people keep asking us what is. The occupancy, what are people sick up there? And the truth is, from the very beginning, we have no idea.

We hear maybe a little bit more from people because they sort of check in with us, but we don't want to make a blanket statement because we get a message from one person that says, hey, we got sick at desire or we're sick at desire right now. We can't put a blanket over it and say everyone at Desire is sick and we don't want to share their. Information because that's private to them. This is what Laura and I decided.

If you don't feel safe going to your local Costco or Walmart and taking off all of your clothing, including your mask, and having an orgy with those people, if you feel like that you would get COVID in that situation, you don't even have to have an orgy, just hanging out with them. Yeah, just going to Costco and just, if there is a jacuzzi in your Costco, good for you. Good point. There's no difference.

Just put yourself in that situation. It doesn't have to be in the deli section, but that's where it is in my head. I would be in the bakery with the cookies, but if you put yourself in that situation, you say, Do I feel safe? Yeah, that's the situation you're looking at, because there, there's, it's not a magic portal where you walk in.

If you don't have a fever when you walk in, then you're magically in the bubble. I wish it were, and the hotel can only do so much, right? This is why they do. Literally everything they can to not spread it.

They do allow you to make your own choices once you are there. That is on you. It is not. It is not.

That's the theme of this movie. That is the theme. So that brings us to this. I wish I had a happy ending, like a walk off into the sunset.

Well, the happy ending is neither one of us, um, are dead. Well, I wouldn't say that, but like, you know, we, we made it through. We're recovering. We are now building those antibodies, so I feel like a tiny little superhero.

If that's the end, then that's the end, you know, we'll find something else. We'll move on with our lives. I'm gonna open a company called Belly Rubs, which is, this is true, this is true. If this is my next venture, which is I just, uh, you hire me and I rub your dog's belly.

That's it. It's simple, right? You bring your dog to me. What do you want?

3 hours of belly rubs? Done. And then we'll just expand from there so we don't know what our future is, guys. Uh, we don't really don't know we're gonna try to do something.

I mean, we're still gonna try and be swingers, yeah, I mean, yeah, we're not gonna give up fucking, and I think we're gonna go over to Patreon and we're gonna record a little something special over there, but again, we don't really have that much material this episode because we spent 14 days in bed. You were asleep for 14 days. We could do a segment. On Richard's weird dreams because that was, well, I mean, emotionally, I'm not kidding, like this has been just horrible.

I mean it's just been, it's really been weighing on me every single night I go to sleep, you know, where you have those fights in your head with people, you're trying to convince someone that it wasn't that way, just stuck between these two spots of, you know, this criminally, I don't know if she's a criminal, but in my head she's a criminal, this woman who It's just hateful when you are in a time like this, and I, it doesn't matter what side you fall on. The fact of the matter is people are getting sick, you know. The first instinct should not be blame. It shouldn't be blame.

You shouldn't be blaming anybody for anything. This should be selfless. You should be helping. You should be reaching out saying, what can I do for you?

What is gonna make your life easier? And that is what confounds me about people all the time. Time, man, it's, it's like when there is crisis, they just concentrate on them as a person, not as a society, not that we are all fighting together. Life sucks right now.

I mean, life sucks for you, lady who got sick. Guess what? You didn't make anything better. You made it worse.

You made it worse. So why don't you take that energy, try to make somebody's life just a little bit better. I've had it. I've just, I'm so, I'm, what if you just went off for like, I'm wearing white flowy pants and I'm gonna open some sort of meditation yoga place and that's number one, I don't look good in flowy clothing.

I don't have the shoulders for it. All right, belly rubs, that might be a thing. Maybe you could wear flowy pants and rub bellies, dog bellies. I know dog belly, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, if you want to invest in belly rubs, we'll make a special tier. And it's just gonna be Richard going to the pet random dogs videos of me getting bit. Uh, I'd say we were about a 5. I'd say affected wise, it is no joke.

It is real. Maybe I was a 6, but that's just because I'm a big baby. And the baby scale, you're probably like an 8.5, 8, but really a 5, maybe we'll talk more about that disease of a woman in, uh, she is worse than COVID, but you have to take your own advice and you have to listen to, you know, your action of putting it out there is not gonna help anyone else's life. I know, but it makes you quit.

You can tell by my Twitter account. I just gave up. I just stopped. I just stopped.

I'm like, fuck it. I, I don't care anymore. I don't care. It took up your soul.

It sort of cut your soul out. That's why I stepped in and I said, you know what, we're gonna, we're gonna do some virtual stuff and we're gonna get that belly rubs up and we'll figure something out. The universe always provides for us. Yeah.

All right. All right, back to flowy pants. So I think this is the funniest episode we've ever done. On the next episode, rape.

I don't know where we go from here. All right, Lawrence, so that is our show. Thank you so much for coming on us, coming on the journey with us. Yes, that's so better.

We hope you enjoyed yourself despite the kicking and screaming that we did through a lot of the episode. We hope you had a good time. Now we're gonna go over to Patreon. We're gonna make a, a little video podcast over there about our story and how you never would have been able to make it through COVID without me.

Yes, because you are the best patient. It's OK. You're still a little feverish. Just keep it to yourself.

Love you. Quickly, Lauren, what are you addicted to this month? I am addicted to, uh, this new meditation guy. His name is, my name is Jason Stevenson, and he's from Australia, and I fucking love his voice so much, and he puts me right to sleep and he meditates the fuck out of me.

What is his name? Jason Stevenson. Jason Stevenson, that was, I don't know what country that is, northern border. It's a very, very distinct Tasmania, even north of there.

Not a lot of people go there, so not a lot of people are familiar with the accent, so you just have to trust me on this one. All right, well, if you're into meditation and sexy sounding Australians, then go check that guy out. I, obviously, this isn't gonna come as a shock to anybody, am addicted to Hamilton. I know you'll be back and any fun fact that comes with Hamilton, I just wanna read everything about it.

I still remember being in LA and asking agents and publicists and managers, is there any way you can get me tickets for Hamilton? And they're like, yeah, oh dude, you're hilarious. So I really thought I was just like, I'll just never see it because now we're here in Mexico and I'll just never see it. But now I did.

I laughed, I cried, and it was better than cats and I saw cats on Broadway. Yeah, of course I did. Here's the thing about cats. Everything is better than cats.

No, don't say that. We have a really big Instagram follower that's in cats. Well, he was in Cats. I'm sure he would agree.

Most stuff is better than bless him. That is our addiction. Tell them about Bikini Addiction, Lauren. For Bikini Addiction, we support our podcast, fellow podcast listeners at Bikini Addiction.

If you book through us and you book 5 nights or more, we, and they, by I mean we, I mean they, will send you a free bikini. Go to our website, book with us. They will send you a free bikini. We'll send, send you the code, and if you want to just Buy something.

Support us and use promo code room 77 at checkout, and it will get 10% off for you and free shipping to the US, not in Canada. Go check out those suits on Instagram and all social media, and I just got a whole bunch sent to me, and I'm super stoked, and we're just gonna get them on you one at a time, shoot you out. If you wanna volunteer to model in those bikini addiction bikinis, uh, send your auditions to Richard. Just, I'm just gonna need.

A couple nudes. You don't even need to put the bikinis on. Just them. Just send me that.

That's, that's the audition process. It really helps us out if you are coming to desire to temptation or taking that cruise. Go to room 77life.com and use Lauren's box. It's been a tough time and we really, really appreciate it, which leads us to last but most importantly, not least, our patrons who have kept us alive and breathing, and we really, really.

Appreciate it. Lauren, who are our new patrons now, Lauren, what I'd like you to do with all of these names is just rather than reading them out loud, just so we can all be a little bit more entertained, I would like for you to do them in the style of Hamilton Guns and Chips. That's the song, and I want it done well. OK.

Can I be your hype man? Sure. All right, just ignore me if I do any, uh, uh. Jay Meg 233, Mark and Fran, Judy, Richard, Lake Diver, Cooper, Timmy, Donald, cocktails and dreams, and then it's Dustin, piano keys and Giles, Richard, AOL, Fizzy, Mr.

McMahon, Jay Baker, Yo, DG 424, Brandy, Aaron, and then it's Leo and Jim, Kevin and Mary Lynn, constantly confusing, confounding with Marcus, Edwin. Everyone give it up for room 77's favorite Patreons. Yes t battle 1984 DNA MacAdack 2005. My mom doesn't listen anyway.

Adrian ZMS 2019. Cairo Doc, Mr. Bernstein, James Bowie, Philip Malone Ricketts, and Ken, and we have adventures, nudist couple Sambreed, Allen, Sara Toj Beach Rats, bridled, rocking the sea, Barrett, Maddie, Kevin, Marilyn, Chelsea, Ash Brian. Escorts 77 Hamilton.

You finished? Yeah, that's it, honey. That was. Hamilton, here's our last Patreon.

That was amazing. Hold on, I don't know how to stop the music. Oh my God, it was so good. Thank you.

I spent a day and a half on that. That was really good. I'm really grateful. You're my little wrapper.

All right, well, uh, there's no other way to close it out other than that. So, uh, everybody, Lauren, everybody, you're welcome. Uh, thank you so much, Barrett, Super generous of you. You floored us.

We really, really appreciate it and we want you all to know that it helps a whole lot, especially now. Thank you, patrons, because we were finally able to buy almost 1/10 of 1 Bitcoin. So thank you for that. And Brandy, I really wanna have sex with you.

You know who you are, and that about does it for us. For more information, photos, or to contact us, go to room 77 podcast.com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast.

Now get your clothes and get out.